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Chapter Eighteen

Clay stormed out of the study, slamming it's door behind him. He'd just spent the past 20 minutes talking to his father, detailing all he'd discovered about Jeremy's past and present. And as he expected, his pa was livid when he learned that Clay had searched Jeremy's room, but quickly cooled when he heard his full account of Jeremy's past in Virginia, and what the boy had been up to recently here in Lexington. His father had agreed that Jeremy was probably up to something that wasn't good, but failed to accept Clay's conclusion that Jeremy was planning to steal from the Chambers because of their connection to the Donovans. His father had found that reasoning to be inane, and as a result had decided the only way to get to the bottom of what Jeremy was up to was to confront the boy about his actions. This had fumed Clay, for he knew that Jeremy would never confess what he was planning. So, he'd strongly voiced this objection to his father. But his pa wouldn't hear it, had already made up his mind that he wasn't going to do anything until he got some answers from Jeremy; he had even went on to order Clay not to say anything about the situation, especially not to Alice or Lexy, until it had been resolved. Upon hearing those instructions, Clay became even more angry, so much so that he'd abruptly left the room, barely giving his word that he'd obey his pa's objective.

Now Clay stood on the front porch, the cool air doing little to calm his blazing temper. He had a good mind to return to the study and again refute his father 's decision or defy him completely by telling the rest of the family what he knew, but he restrained himself, knowing that any disdain he tried to evoke towards Jeremy would be nothing compared to the fury he would face from his father for doing such a deed. Clay groaned indignantly as he sat down on the porch's steps, realizing that he had no choice but to wait, bid his time until Isaac and Jeremy returned from Campbellsville. Then he'd make sure that everyone, including his father, finally realized that Jeremy was a liar and a thief who'd never deserved to be apart of their family.

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Marita stood looking in the foyer mirror perfecting her appearance while she waited for David Holmes to arrive and take her out for the evening. In the days that had passed since her acceptance of his invite to dinner, she had continued to struggle with the decision she'd made, repeatedly smothering the pining in her heart as she attempted to accept the reality that this was how her life was to be. And now that she'd arrived at what would be the beginning of this new life she'd chosen, she'd finally managed to plaster on a smile and garner a chipper attitude, solidifying her drive to make this evening special.

Pleased with her appearance, Marita turned away from the mirror, nervously running her hands over her dress as she slowly walked into the nearby parlor. The Prichard's home was beautiful she thought as she studied the trimmings of the room, trying to quell the anxiety she was feeling. It was so generous of them to offer her their home while more housing was being added to the school. Marita had originally planned to stay in a nearby boarding house, but the Prichards had insisted that she take up residence in their old home. At first, she had protested when she saw the home. For though it was small, it was still too big for her alone, and while scarce, the furnishings the Prichards had left behind were too exquisite for her use. But in the end they'd convinced her to stay, saying it would only be for a short while until the school housing was completed and by then they'd probably have found a permanent attendant for their former home. So Marita had accepted their offer, and though she had come to enjoy living in the home, she thought as she continuously walked about the room, it was a lonely place. So different from living on the Logan ranch where there was always hustle and bustle. Even with the Prichards living only a mile away, in their new home, and the servants coming by daily to tend to the expansive property, living there was very quite and obscure, and therefore difficult to embrace as a real home.

Marita now made her way towards the couch, deciding to give her legs a rest, when she was stopped by the faint sound of approaching horses. Instantly, her mind recalled the scene from a few months earlier in which she and Sean where interrupted by the sounds that she was now hearing. Their passion, the desire they so wanted to fulfill impeded by their family's return...

"No" Marita whispered fiercely, as she desperately shut away the memory, determined to not let her thoughts of Sean ruin her evening. As she slowly regained her composure, pushing away the heat that rushed through her at the thought of Sean's touch and the love that ached for him in her heart, there was a knock at the door. She waited a moment before proceeding towards the entry. Making sure she was all smiles and ready for a great time. Once together, she then walked towards the door, hoping that the joy she displayed on her face would eventually catch hold in her heart.

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Sean quietly walked into the house, softly shutting the door behind him. It was late and he didn't want to wake anyone. Though he'd gotten better at his hours, he still sometimes worked late. He had to. For his thoughts of Marita had not ceased and the hard work would often exhaust him to a point in which he could not think, could not think of her. That was one of the reasons behind him continuing on as Deputy Director. The other reason being that he realized he could do more for minorities as Director of Regional Affairs, than if he wasn't in the position at all. So he'd reluctantly given up his cause to desegregate the hospital. But despite all of that, he still hadn't stopped looking into ways to get funding for a hospital that would serve minorities. Lexington still needed such a facility and he wasn't going to stop until he got it. Sean took off his jacket hanging it on the rack in the foyer. He then slowly made his way down the hall towards the kitchen.

"Mabeline?" he said, shocked as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen

The lady turned from the sink to face the voice that had called her name, instantly lighting up when she saw who it was.

"Evening Mr. Logan!" The woman responded excitedly, obviously happy to see him.

"Evening!" Sean said with a smile as he entered the room "When did you get back?" He asked as he joined her at the counter.

"Earlier today"

"And you're already back to work?" he quizzed lightly

"Yes" Mabeline said as she put away the cleaned pots. "I missed all of you and couldn't wait to get back in the kitchen."

"Well we missed you too." Sean said continuing to smile "So how's your mother?" he asked, turning the conversation serious.

"Better" the woman answered solemnly, her excitement suddenly vanishing "But not completely well, my sister is with her now."

"Oh, well I'm glad that she's better...and I'm glad that you're back."

"Thank you" the woman replied her light mood returning

"So can I fix you something?" she continued as she wiped down the small counter "I'm sure you didn't come here this late to stand around and talk."

Sean laughed lightly, then admitted to the woman that he was hungry. As she prepared him a cold sandwich, he began to remember the last time he stood with her in this kitchen while she prepared him a meal. He was so happy then, so sure that he was about to get everything he ever wanted. It was the morning in which he'd asked her to give Marita his letter.

"Mabeline..." he began slowly

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember...Do you remember the letter that I gave you before I left for Louisville?"

Silence.

"Yes..." the woman finally answered, her attention still focused on the sandwich she was preparing.

"Did you...deliver it?"

"I'm sorry..." the woman sighed obviously upset as she finally gave Sean her full attention "But I didn't give Marita your letter. After I received the telegram about my mother I..."

"It's okay" Sean interjected quietly, not needing her to explain. And at the same time not knowing how to handle the instant hope that coursed through him, if Marita did not get his letter then maybe there was still a chance... "No" Sean thought, quickly squashing what he felt where musings that would only serve to hurt him more... "So where's the letter now?" he abruptly asked

"I'm not sure." Mabeline said penitently, as she sat the plate holding the sandwich she'd made in front of him. "I think I might've misplaced it in Knoxville...I'm so sorry. I hope that my...blunder didn't cause too many problems" she finished worriedly

"No...no it didn't" Sean answered distractedly, again thinking about what this all meant.

"Good." the woman sighed with relief, then turned to put away the food she'd used to make his sandwich.

"Did you need anything else?" she asked solemnly, after completing that task and again wiping down the counter.

"No... you can go." Sean answered "Thanks for everything"

The woman accepted his thanks, then said good night leaving a somber Sean, now no longer hungry, to contemplate what he'd learned. He couldn't believe that Marita hadn't received his letter. Deep down he had suspected this but he didn't allow himself to entertain the thought. Instead choosing to prepare himself for the worst by accepting the idea that Marita had read the letter and had chosen to leave. Sean stood there, staring at nothing, conflicted over his hope, his doubt, but eventually the doubt won out, successfully suppressing the hope that was eager to break free. He realized that even though Marita had not gotten his letter she still left after they'd professed their love to one another. It was over he thought. She'd walked away from him, completely closing him out of her life. There was no more room for hope he reasoned weakly. No more room whatsoever.

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Marita sat at the desk contemplating her earlier outing with David Holmes. In the beginning it had gone well. He'd taken her to a place in which there was music and dancing and food, and for a moment all thoughts of Sean seemed to fade amongst the happenings around her. But as the night went on, things begin to change. And thoughts of Sean attempted to return to the surface, but Marita remained strong, successfully keeping the feelings at bay, until a sign from the heavens yielded her resolve. It all happened so fast, like it always did. She and David were walking back to his carriage, their next destination being a ride by the lake, when they saw it, a bright light racing across the sky – a shooting star. David had innocently asked her to make a wish. Not knowing that such a request took her back to a time in which she and Sean had witnessed a similar event, a time in which her smiles were not forced, a time when she was happy. From that moment on, it was difficult for Marita to focus on the events at hand. For her mind, her heart was completely fixed on Sean. But she made it through, and now hours later, she sat at her desk staring at the paper before her, trying desperately to add more to the words she'd already written. Her outing that night, along with the presence of that shooting star made her realize that it wasn't just the love she so wanted to fulfill that was tearing her in two. It was the fact that she didn't have Sean even remotely in her life, not even as a friend or an acquaintance. She realized that she needed him. That despite the fact that they could never be together she wanted him in her life. Marita closed her eyes, fighting the fear, the uncertainty she felt in penning a letter to Sean now, but she soon regained her courage. Picking up the quill, she slowly, painfully resumed the letter. A letter that for so long she'd longed to write.