Kiss with Open Eyes
Chapter 19: A Lie, a Kiss with Open Eyes
Disclaimer: You know it's not mine.
Summary: They just keep dancing around each other. He feels guilty, and she knows it's wrong, but the music is playing, and they can't help but dance.
A/N: Hey guys, thank you so much for the reviews. You have no idea how much I appreciate them. Especially since I'm grounded, and very, very bored. Lol. So, anyways, thank you.
She's not exactly sure how they ended up here. She doesn't really remember moving, but now Luke is sitting on one of the diner chairs, and she's on his lap. He's whispering things to her, telling her it will be OK, and she's still crying. He's running his fingers through her hair, and she's still holding on to him tightly.
Eventually she can't cry anymore, and she sits up a little straighter. She's run out of tears, and she's wiping her face with her sleeve. She gives him a weak smile, showing her embarrassment. She's not even sure why she's here with him, she just needed him. She's always needed him. She always will.
"I'm sorry." She tells him.
"Lorelai, don't." He tells her, but she shakes her head.
"I didn't mean to do this… cry. I didn't even really mean to come here. I just… ended up here. I always do." She tells him.
"That's OK." He tells her with an encouraging smile.
She smiles back, and before she knows it, she's kissing him. She's not exactly sure why. She's not really sure of anything anymore.
She pulls away a minute or two after she realizes what she's doing. "Sorry." She tells him, again, touching her mouth.
"Don't." He tells her, running his hands up and down her back.
"I really am sorry, Luke." She says. "For everything… For putting you through this, for lying to you, for not telling Chris, for making you believe I would… just for everything." She tells him, hoping that he'd forgive her, because really, she's not sure what she'd do without him.
"I'm sorry, too." He says, with a sigh.
"What?" She asks
"For putting you through all of this… For not stopping it before it became too much, for starting it in the first place…" He tells her.
And that's when she became nervous. "Luke… no…" She begins, but was interrupted.
"It was wrong, Lorelai. You're married, and it's wrong… I just… You're so amazing." He says, and she gains a little bit of hope back. "I was afraid of waiting, of losing you, of not being with you." He says
"So… does this mean…"
"I was stupid. I wanted everything, and I wasn't willing to give you time. I didn't want to share you… with anyone. I was selfish. I was afraid of how much I was feeling. I was surprised by how jealous I was. I was surprised that it hurt so much. I was surprised of how much I cared, how much you meant to me, how much I didn't want to be without you. But I couldn't share… It hurt when we said goodbye, and when you couldn't spend the night, when we snuck around… when you lied. I just thought that… You didn't feel the same way, and I… took the easy way out… I'm sorry." He says.
"So… What now?" She asks, nervously.
He sighs, and the nervousness comes back. He looks away from her, and towards a table in the corner.
"Luke…"
"You're still married." He says and she nods. "You need to figure everything out. You need to figure out what you want."
"You." She says simply, and he smiles at that.
"You need to sort your life out. You and… Chris need to talk. You need to talk to Rory, make her understand… You need to decide what's right for the two of you." He says.
"What about you?" She asks him.
"I'll be waiting." He says, with a smile. And with that, she leans in and kisses him one last time, before standing up, straighting out her clothes, and heading out the door.
"Thanks Luke."
"Bye Lorelai." He tells her.
She turns around and looks at him. "No. Not goodbye."
And he smiles and watches her walk out the door.
When she got home, she was still in a daze. She opened the door and saw Rory, on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. Rory turned to look at her, and then focused on the TV again.
"Rory…" She began, as if she was asking permission to speak again.
"I just… can't believe this is happening." Rory said, still focused on the TV.
Lorelai sighed. At least she's talking to her. She dropped her purse and sat beside her daughter. Before Lorelai had a chance to speak, Rory continued talking.
"I mean… I always… I just, can't… believe it." Rory said again.
"I know." Lorelai told her.
"It's not like I thought you and Dad would stay together forever…" Rory said, which surprised Lorelai.
"I just… I never thought… this." Rory said, still staring at the television.
"Maybe I was just being naïve." Rory concluded.
"No, hun… I was… I-" She wasn't exactly sure where to begin. She probably should have thought it over more.
"I mean, the job… always being in Stars Hollow… all the lies…" Rory said.
"What?" Lorelai asked.
"The lies, Mom. You think I didn't know?" Rory asked, turning to look at her for the first time since she walked in the door.
"Rory, I…"
"The accident… You said you were with Sookie, but uh, yeah… Sookie was at the bookstore, Mom. I saw her. I talked to her. And… you weren't with her." Rory said, angrily, causing Lorelai's heart to start beating much faster.
"Rory…" She said.
"I didn't say anything, though… Maybe I was just being naïve. Maybe I was just being stupid. Maybe I just didn't want to admit that I knew. Maybe I just didn't want to say it, because then… then it would be true."
"Rory, I'm sorry." Lorelai told her.
"But I was just being stupid… It is true. It's so true. It's always been true." Rory said, staring at the TV again. "I've always known, you know." She told her mother.
"What?" Lorelai asked.
"I've always known you guys had problems. I've always known that someday… someday, when I was off at college, you guys would… split up. I've always known."
"Rory…" She said, again, really wishing she knew what to say, how to fix this.
"I saw that something was wrong, I saw that something was going, that you weren't happy. I know Dad slept in the guest bedroom when I wasn't home, and I know you guys fought all the time. I knew your marriage was falling apart. I knew it wasn't going to last. I knew." She told her mother, beginning to cry again.
"We just… aren't right for each other." Lorelai told her daughter.
"I know." Rory told her. "I've always known that. I've always known… I just didn't want to think about it. I just didn't want to believe it, but I knew. I could see it." Rory said, wiping away some of her tears.
"You kissed him with your eyes open." Rory told her mother.
Lorelai took a deep breath, and looked straight at her daughter. "I'm sorry." She said, after a minute or two.
Rory nodded. "Did you ever love him?" Rory asked, finally looking at her again.
Lorelai was surprised by the question, but she answered truthfully. "Yes." She told her.
"When did you stop loving him?" Rory asked her.
Lorelai took a deep breath. "I'm not sure, Rory."
"You know, Mom." Rory accused her. "Just tell me… When, Mom? When did you stop loving him?"
"Probably the day my father told us we had to get married." Lorelai answered, truthfully.
Rory nodded, and began crying again. "Then why'd you do it?" She asked, angrily.
"I wanted you to have a father." Lorelai answered.
Rory shook her head. "Well… Nice job, I don't have one anymore." She told her, but regretting once it left her lips.
"Rory… please." She begged her.
"No, Mom… I don't want you to be unhappy, really. I don't want my parents to stay married just for me… I can handle it. I don't need you to shelter me… Dad will come back." Rory said, and Lorelai sighed a little bit.
"He has to sign the papers, right?" Rory asked, a little sarcastically.
"Rory…"
"No, Mom… Look… Dad wasn't around for the first 10 years of my life… You took care of me. You were there for me. You were always there for me… You've spent 16 years married to a man you don't love just because of me… I… understand." Rory said, but then shook her head. "I… forgive you." She told her.
Lorelai didn't know what to say. She was amazed at this person sitting beside her. She wondered when she had gotten so grown up, so mature. She wondered how this person was actually her daughter. She wondered how she got so lucky. "Thank you." She whispered.
"Thank you." She repeated.
I realize that was yet again a short chapter, but I'm pretty sure the last chapter will be longer. LAST CHAPTER! Wow…
Better get your reviews in, (hint, hint)
Also… About my next story… I'd like some feedback on which one you'd like me to post… I have 3 possibilities and I've written the first chapter of each of them, and I'd like to know which you guys would rather read…
So, the first one is called Poker Faces. It's set in Season 1 and basically, Luke and Lorelai are fuck buddies. Lol. I know it's a little weird, but they are having secret sex, and it forces them to realize some feelings they have… Of course neither of them say anything, because, duh it's Luke & Lorelai. Then some things happen and they have to figure out what they mean to each other. –That's just about all I can say without giving you the whole plot. I know it seems sorta weird, but I think it works.
The second one is set when Lorelai first comes to Stars Hollow. Instead of giving her a job as a maid, Mia sends her to the Danes residence to take care of a sick William Danes. She and Rory live in the apartment above the Hardware store, and Lorelai keeps William company and looks after him. She and Luke begin to get closer and eventually start something… There's a lot more to it, but again, I can't say much without giving it away. Also, if anybody has any ideas for a title for this one, that'd be great. I just kind of like the idea of Lorelai knowing Luke's father, and being there for him while he's dying… so that's why I wrote this.
The 3rd one is a sequel to my story, Diary. It's set during the break up. It's called, The Last Crazy Thing. Lorelai gives Luke her diary as an attempt to get them back together.
So, anyway, please, please tell me what you think. Also, if you have some other ideas, I'm definitely open to them, so let me know.
Also… I'm looking for a beta. I've never really had one, but I dunnno… But yeah it'd be for the last chapter of this, and then maybe my other stories… you know. So, yes if anybody is interested, leave it in a review or message me. That'd be really great.
Next chapter is the last…For My Very Last Lie, Could I Lie Next to You? (May change): Richard & Emily find out about what's going on in their daughter's life. Chris returns & Luke decides.