Kanan stares impatiently at the time on his phone. Usually he loved testing periods-he could get work done or even just surf the internet while the students took their exams. But not today-today he would have given anything to be lecturing so that he could conveniently decide to end the lecture early and as a result be a hero to his students. But no, if he cut the time short today he'd probably be reported to his department head and god knew he couldn't afford another writeup. Of course, he'd gotten all of those writeups before the game-before he'd changed. He wasn't that guy anymore. But he didn't expect his superior to believe that a weekend in a Star Wars VR game had completely changed his life-had completely changed him-so he hadn't even tried to explain.

On the upside, the department head, Carrie, seemed to have noticed the drastic improvements in his attendance and overall performance teaching his classes-she'd even told him to "keep up the good work" last week, which was high praise coming from her. The downside was that his fellow professors had noticed the distinct drop in (more like complete disappearance of) his attendance of parties, faculty nights at the bar after work, and, especially, his willingness to have sex at said parties with anyone who was clean and close to his own age. Currently the two major rumors floating around were that he'd found religion or that he'd finally met a woman who had made an honest man of him, or both. Oddly enough, both of them were sort of true, but not in the way that they were thinking. He supposed that the jedi order could be considered a religion by some. And as for the woman… The image of a pair of bright green, smiling eyes flashes through his mind unbidden, and he has to try to muffle the involuntary whine that his body made whenever he thought about her.

Hera… Where was she? Her, the kids, Zeb, even Chopper-he had no idea where any of them were. and it was driving him up the wall. Aside from the fact that he'd finally managed to pull himself out of his reckless party lifestyle in the game and didn't want to go back to it now, part of the reason he never went out anymore was because he was spending all of his free time trying to locate any of them. He'd scoured the internet, but with only first names to go on (Dr. Tano had insisted that no real last names could be used in the game for "privacy" reasons) and no idea how any of them looked in real life he was reaching dead end after dead end. He hoped that Ezra and Sabine might be easy to recognize if he by some miracle passed them in the street-he himself had been given an avatar that looked almost exactly like he did in real life, so he assumed that was standard protocol for the game.) But how was he supposed to know what a Lasat or a twi'lek would look like in real life? Deep down he had the feeling that if he saw Hera in real life he would be able to recognize her just from her eyes-no one he'd ever met before had eyes those beautiful and expressive-but he couldn't be sure, and it was very hard to see eyes on the tiny profile pictures most people had on social media.

As for Zeb, he had a fairly unique name so Kanan figured it might be easier to find him, but of the very few people named Zeb or Garazeb on social media none of them lived anywhere near here, and they all seemed either too old or too young to be his Zeb. As for Ezra and Sabine… Something about going through a bunch of facebook profiles of young teens just felt wrong and creepy to him, so he'd for the most part left off of actively looking for them like that.

Kanan's eyes drift back to the clock on the wall. Shit. Had only three minutes passed since he last checked? Really? Fuck, this was torture…

Hey, get your language under control, a voice in his mind chides him, and he winces. Okay, yes, he had to work on that. And he was trying! He personally didn't think it was wrong to curse, but he knew that especially if-no, when he found Sabine and Ezra he needed to clean up his act if he was going to be a father figure to them. Of course that was provided their parents even let him be around them and didn't think he was a stalker or something… But he wouldn't think about that. He just had to work on being worthy of being a parental figure and hope that everything would work out alright in the end. Admittedly It was getting harder and harder not to fall back into bad habits without his family here with him, especially with constant temptation from his coworkers around him every day. But he would be strong-he would do whatever it took to be the man that they'd grown to know and trust in the game out here as well.

He finds himself idly scrolling through the search results for "Hera" on facebook yet again. He'd looked at all of these icons a million times, but he'd barely brought himself to message anyone but a few he thought might possibly be her, not wanting to be seen as a creep-how were you supposed to have a conversation with someone by starting out with, "Hi, by any chance did you recently beta test a Star Wars virtual reality game where we fell in love and got married and had a family together until we were ripped apart when we woke up and haven't been allowed to see each other since?"

Yeah, that didn't sound completely insane. He'd usually just stuck with the bit about the Star Wars game beta testing without going into the details of their relationship, but unfortunately none of the people he'd messaged (the ones who had bothered to reply) had been his Hera.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the little digital clock on his laptop changed to 2:30 pm and class was officially over.

"Okay, pencils down!" Kanan calls, and he heard scattered mutterings from the few students still left in the lecture hall. "Bring your exams down to the front, scantrons in one pile and test papers in the other pile."

He forces himself not to tell them to hurry it up. He had no idea why he was so anxious today-it was an odd feeling that he'd often had since he'd left the game which he couldn't explain. The closest thing he could compare it to… Well, it sounded crazy, but it almost felt like connecting to the force when he'd been in the game. Of course he couldn't be! That was impossible, there wasn't the force in the real world! And yet he couldn't explain odd little moments that he'd noticed-the time he'd almost knocked his favorite mug off of his desk and broken it but it seemed to hover on the edge of the desk for just a few seconds longer than possible, just long enough for him to grab it; how sometimes he would have a small nagging feeling telling him to be on his guard right before a coworker would come into his office and not-so-subtly try to pressure him into coming home with them that night even though he'd politely told them multiple times that he just wasn't interested (he knew that he'd only been married to Hera in the game but being with anyone else at this point felt like cheating); the other day when he'd had a split second feeling that something bad was going to happen and pulled a student out of the crosswalk by the back of their jacket just before a driver who was texting and not paying attention to the road blew right through the intersection.

But no, those were all just coincidences. He was overthinking things. It was like how he kept expecting to run into storm troopers wherever he went, and how he'd felt like he needed to run or at least hide when he'd seen someone wearing what very much looked like an imperial officer jacket the other day. He was just being paranoid-something he needed to shake now that he was back in the real world, even though that was easier said than done.

As soon as the last student was gone, he gathers up the test papers, locks the lecture hall door behind him, and heads up to his office. Thank god the day was finally over-his intro to theater class was his last class on Fridays and he was ready to… Well, he wasn't sure what he was going to do tonight. He wasn't doing the partying thing anymore, but more hopeless scouring of social media or rewatching of Star Wars sounded depressing. The fact that he didn't really have any casual friends outside of his coworkers was really starting to become apparent. Between losing his mom at thirteen and the betrayal of many supposed "friends" over the years, he'd really cut himself off from making emotional attachments. And yet in the game he'd opened himself up to not just one or two but a whole family of people. Missing them hurt so much it was like a physical pain that he constantly carried in his chest, and nothing he did could make it hurt any less. It was taking a lot of self control these days not to give into temptation and just drink himself into oblivion to try to numb it, at least for a few hours.

He was just putting the test papers securely away (he'd deal with grading them on Monday, he was ready to get out of here) and grabbing his faithful green leather jacket from its perch on the back of his desk chair when he feels a growingly familiar spark of warning. His head jerks up just in time to see Liz, an assistant from the admissions' office, walking into his office.

"Aww, you caught me," she playfully pouts at him. "I was trying to surprise you! How do you keep doing that?"

"Instinct?" Kanan answers a bit uncomfortably, trying to edge towards the door. Liz had been one of his most frequent hookups before the game, not so much because he particularly cared for her but because she and he both tended to get the most sloshed at parties and would somehow always find themselves waking up naked in the same bed the next morning, and eventually it became more of a habit than anything. Kanan hadn't exactly had the same moral code back then as he did now, but even then he'd made sure to make it clear with her and anyone else that he had sex with that it was in no way a commitment or because of some emotional connection that he was having sex with them, and he never pressured anyone who wasn't okay with it to do anything they weren't comfortable with. Liz, though… No matter how many times he'd made this clear to her and she'd said that she understood he had the feeling that she was reading a lot more into their relationship than what was really there with the way she got so clingy, even possessive.

Now, post game, he was kicking himself for being enough of an idiot to let it get this far. He'd made it clear weeks ago to her now that he was sorry but he was cutting things off, that he didn't feel comfortable with this anymore. Unfortunately, it did not seem to be getting through to her-she treated his words like a joke, and if anything was getting more persistent. He had no idea what to do except to try to avoid her, but she was making a habit of trying to catch him by surprise in his office and, well… Kanan didn't really like to think about what she wanted to do. But with his reputation he wasn't sure that he could go to his superior about this, she'd probably just tell him it was his own fault and to figure it out himself, and he couldn't say that he blamed her.

"You're so jumpy these days!" Liz giggles. "You should really let me help you relax, you know that I'm good at that…"

"Liz, no," Kanan says firmly, trying to figure out how to get out of here without causing a ruckus when she was blocking the door. "I'm sorry, but you know I've told you I don't do that anymore."

"And why not?" Liz purses her lips, her voice still light but her eyes flash darkly. "Is there someone else? Are you cheating on me, Kanan?" She laughs, but there was a definite edge to it.

"Liz, there is no cheating when we were never together," Kanan answers, shaking his head. "I told you from the start that I never committed to anything, and you said you were fine with that. I'm sorry if I led you on, but that's why I'm telling you now that-"

"So there is someone else?" Liz cries.

Usually Kanan said no-how was he supposed to explain that he was, at least in his mind, married to someone he'd met in a game and didn't even know where she was in real life? But nothing else had worked so maybe it was time to finally tell the truth-things surely couldn't get any worse.

"Yes, there is someone," Kanan finally answers quietly. "I'm sorry, but I just can't be with anyone else now that I've met her. I understand if you're mad and don't want to be around me-" please don't want to be around me, "-but you deserve to know the truth."

"Who is she?" Liz demands, only looking angrier-well shit, that had backfired spectacularly.

"That's not any of your business-" Kanan starts to protest.

"It's that bitch, Carrie, isn't it? She's always making eyes at you at parties, trying to get between us, and I know you have a thing for women in positions of power-!"

"That is not true, and there is not any 'us'! There never was, and you know that!"

Kanan was trying not to shout-he didn't want to draw any attention to himself or this fight, he just wanted to get out of here!

"Ugh! I never want to see you again!" Liz cries.

"Good!" Kanan didn't want to be cruel, but he was glad that it seemed like his message was finally getting through to her.

"Fine!" Liz turns on her heel and storms out, purposefully knocking a stack of books off of a shelf as she goes.

Kanan lets out a loud sigh. Well, that could have gone better. Still, hopefully this meant that he was finally free of her. He looked down at the books. He should probably pick those up…

Nah. That was a Monday problem. He steps over the books and, locking the door behind him, heads down to the parking lot. Wow, after all of that the temptation to get a drink was really strong… He didn't have any plans but heading home, but maybe he should go somewhere like a movie where he'd be distracted and more committed to stay there instead of sitting alone thinking about how much he wanted to have a drink with no one to help him not give in to temptation.

After what felt like forever (even staff parking was a far walk from the theater building) he finally reaches his car, still not having made up his mind as to what he was going to do. He felt oddly restless, and it wasn't just his fight with Liz. It was like he was supposed to be doing something but he couldn't figure out what it was…

Finally some voice in the back of his head told him to just get in the car and start driving. Well, if nothing else driving around might clear his head so he gets in and, turning on some Frank Turner music, he pulls out of the parking lot. It took a right turn to start heading for home, but he suddenly had a very strong feeling that he was supposed to turn left. Well, if he was going to be listening to voices in his head he might as well commit to it, so instead of being sensible and heading for home he turns left.

After that he just let his brain go on autopilot, following whatever directions the small but urgent voice in his head was giving him. It took him a bit to realize where he was going, but finally he starts seeing some familiar landmarks and realizes he's heading towards the testing facility. Wait, the testing facility? He'd given up on going there ever since the receptionist had threatened to have him dragged out by security the last time that he was there. But maybe… Maybe this meant he was supposed to try one more time? That maybe today would be the day that he finally found out something about his family?

That thought in mind, he presses down on the pedal just a bit harder-yes he was speeding, but the voice in his head was getting even more urgent, and he didn't want to miss this opportunity!

He finally reaches the facility's parking lot and pulls in next to a truck with worn paint (he couldn't help but momentarily think how Sabine would love to redo the paint job on it) and then strides up to the building with purpose-he somehow knew that this was what he was supposed to be doing.

He walks in through the sliding glass door, not at all surprised when the receptionist told him to get out, but he felt a bit nervous when she threatened to call the security guards-she sounded harassed and like she was ready to snap, today was clearly not the day to test her patience. Suddenly he felt unsure as to whether he was doing the right thing or not-what was he doing here, really? Had there really been a voice after all, or had it just been wishful thinking, or even desperation?

But then a man he hadn't even noticed turns around and looks at him, and, to his great surprise, cries, "Kanan?"

"Yes?" Wait, how did this guy know his name?

"It's me, Zeb!" the other man eagerly answers.

"Zeb?" Kanan repeats, his brain trying to process this new information. No, it couldn't be-! But he couldn't deny that the voice was the same, and there was something about his almost purposeful scruffiness that was reminiscent of the Lasat warrior he'd know so well…

"Holy shit-you're Zeb?" he finally manages to get out, his brain starting to accept the truth.

"Yes!" the other man cries.

"Oh my god…" Kanan breathes, shaking his head. There was no way that this was happening, and yet somehow it was: maybe believing in that little voice in his head wasn't so crazy after all!

Everything after that happened in something of a blur-Zeb somehow managed to get the receptionist to agree to give their information to any of their other family members if they were trying to locate them too in exchange for promising not to come back. Kanan was absolutely fine with that arrangement: he'd gotten what he'd come for, or as much as he was going to get of it, and he didn't like constantly being threatened every time he came in. He and Zeb had then made a hasty exit to the parking lot where they had a brief reunion-Kanan may have cried a bit, there was so much happening that he couldn't quite remember afterwards-before they make the decision to fully vacate the property to avoid having to be escorted off, agreeing to meet back up at a nice ramen restaurant that Kanan frequented, as much for the proximity to his work as for its amazing food. As he left the parking lot, his brain randomly pointed out that an unmarked white van pulled out almost directly behind him, but it idled on the road instead of following him so he chalks it up to a coincidence and lets it go.

On the drive to the restaurant, his thoughts were consumed with how he could hardly believe that he'd found Zeb-he'd really, actually found Zeb! Someone who knew what he'd been through-who'd been right there with him through the whole thing, knew what it was like to be fighting the Empire and who understood that their family, though formed in a fictional world, was real. Or at least he was pretty sure that Zeb felt that way-it was hard to know for sure. That was the general vibe that he'd gotten in the few minutes that he'd spoken with him, but he guessed he wouldn't really be able to tell until he'd had a chance to speak with him more in detail at the restaurant.

He ended up getting to the ramen place first-not completely surprising considering he actually knew the way and Zeb didn't. Once safely parked, he heads inside and gets them a booth for two at the back corner of the restaurant: he figured that with what they were probably going to be talking about it would be better for them to have some privacy, away from any prying or discriminating ears.

He'd been sitting for about five minutes when Zeb walks in-it was still so weird thinking of this man as his giant alien cat friend. Not that this Zeb wasn't tall or muscular. If anything, he was very nicely built-if Kanan wasn't already committed to Hera and Zeb didn't have Alex he was pretty sure he would have absolutely been attracted to him. But after Hera, Kanan found that he just couldn't have eyes for anyone else, and that was probably for the best. He didn't want to make things awkward with his best friend (or at least he hoped that Zeb still considered him his best friend, even outside of the game.)

"Hey!"

Kanan was about to stand up and wave to help Zeb locate him amongst all the people in the busy restaurant, but it looked like Zeb had already spotted him, smiling and waving before heading over to join him.

"Hey," Kanan answers, smiling as Zeb slides in across from him at the table. "You find this place okay?"

"Pretty okay, yeah," Zeb agrees. "The roads are just kind of crazy around here since it's right next to a university."

"Right, sorry, I should have warned you about that," Kanan apologizes. "Guess I didn't think about it since I'm used to driving around here."

"That's right, you mentioned that-so you teach?" Zeb asks curiously.

"Yep," Kanan agrees. "Mostly intro to theater, the beginner classes that you have to take to prove that you've got what it takes and you can actually teach before they start trusting you with the higher up classes. But they finally let me have one class slot teaching stage combat, which is my real passion and why I got into this field in the first place."

"Stage combat, huh?" Zeb smiles at him. "That sounds fitting for you somehow."

"It does, doesn't it?" Kanan chuckles, glad that they were breaking the ice already and things weren't awkward. "How about you? What do you do-y'know, out here?"

He wasn't quite sure how to refer to the game, or if Zeb was ready to talk about that yet-if he even wanted to talk about it somewhere that was still fairly public.

"Woodcarving," Zeb answers. "I learned from my grandad, and I took over his shop when he passed."

Woodcarving? Kanan wasn't sure that he could see Zeb doing something that required such patience and detailed concentration for a living, but then he remembered sometimes seeing Zeb carving little figures on the ship or at one of the bases when he had free time and a bit of spare wood. Fighting the empire hadn't really allowed time for having hobbies, but maybe it was something Zeb would have done more of in the game if he'd had the freedom and materials to do it.

"Sorry about your grandfather," Kanan says gently, realizing that he hadn't responded yet. "But wow, a woodcarving shop? That sounds really interesting-you don't happen to have any pictures of your work, do you?"

"Eh, s'all right about my grandad-it happened a while ago," Zeb says with a small shrug before asking, "You'd want to see some of my work?"

"Sure." Kanan leans his elbows on the table. "I'd love to see what type of stuff you make!"

"Well… Alright then." Zeb looks a bit sheepish as he pulls out his phone, and after a minute of scrolling he holds it out to Kanan. "This is something I made recently…"

"Wow," Kanan gasps-he was looking at a sturdy-looking table made of shiny mahogany wood, with beautiful legs carved with forest flora and fauna, ending in clawed feet. "That is amazing."

"Thanks!" Zeb beams at him. "It was a commissioned piece for the event room in the library that they rent out for meetings and things-usually I don't get to make something that big, but it was a nice challenge."

"Well it turned out beautifully!"

"Thank you!"

Before either of them can say anything else, their server arrives to take their drink orders.

"Do you have any suggestions?" Zeb asks Kanan.

"Hm… They do have nice sake here," Kanan answers. "But since I'm trying to avoid alcohol, I'm having the Yuzu soda, it's really good."

"Yuzu soda?"

"It's a fruit that's sort of a hybrid of a lemon and an orange. They serve it in a glass with sugar on the rim, I highly recommend it."

"That sounds good, I think I'll have one too!"

Once their drink and subsequently food orders (they both already knew what they wanted) had been placed, Kanan looked through some more pictures of Zeb's work, and then Zeb asked if Kanan had any pictures or videos of his work with stage combat.

"Well, I've not been in any real productions since my days in college-it's hard enough to find a theater hiring around here, let alone a theater that regularly puts on enough productions that require stage combat," Kanan answers, pulling out his own phone. "But I've got a few videos I put together of me demonstrating techniques for my students."

He felt oddly shy about showing these videos to Zeb-this was stage combat, not the real deal. But Zeb actually seemed impressed.

"Wow, you're really good," Zeb tells him as he watches the video, which was a montage of Kanan demonstrating techniques with various weapons.

"Really?" Kanan asks hopefully.

"Really!" Zeb answers before something seems to grab his attention in the video. "Is that a lightsaber?"

"Yeah," Kanan agrees with a small smile. "I've watched videos about proper lightsaber fighting techniques, and it's something fun I put in the curriculum for the kids to do right before finals when they need something silly to lift their spirits. I found out there's apparently a local group where people practice lightsaber forms together and even have competitions, and I've thought about trying to join, especially since my lightsaber skills have really improved since…"

Kanan trails off, not quite sure if the time was right to bring this up. Zeb seemed about to say something when suddenly the server reappeared with their drinks, startling Kanan. She put their drinks down in front of them and told them their food would be ready soon before walking away to check on her other tables. Kanan sips his drink (damn, it really was good), trying to figure out if he could bring up the reason they were both here without making things awkward, when Zeb suddenly leans in towards him.

"So… Do you want to talk about it?" Zeb asks quietly. "About… The other world?"

"You mean the game world?" Kanan answers, also leaning in.

"Yeah. So… Do you?"

"...Yeah. I'm ready to talk about it if you are."

"All right then. Let's talk."