Kiss with Open Eyes
Chapter 21: (FULL TITLE) This is my Last Lie. Could I Lie Next to You?
Disclaimer: You know it's not mine.
Summary: They just keep dancing around each other. He feels guilty, and she knows it's wrong, but the music is playing, and they can't help but dance.
A/N: Hey guys, thank you so much for the reviews. You have no idea how much I appreciate them. Especially since I'm grounded, and very, very bored. Lol. So, anyways, thank you.
This is my very last chapter. tears It's been fun.
Please review.
She's been spending her days with Rory. It's only been two, since she told her, but they've both been with Rory. She's going to see Luke soon, but for now, she needs to be with her daughter.
Rory knows it's out of guilt, but she doesn't mind. The past two days have been weird, awkward and… hard, but she knows they need them. She knows they need to do this, or things will change between them, and she doesn't want that.
They've been doing simple things. They've been watching movies and eating massive amounts of junk food. They've been going to the mall, and doing some serious shopping. Lorelai even gave in to Rory's pleads and went to Staples for some super early school supply shopping. After all, it was Rory's favorite type of shopping, and Lorelai was guilty.
They've been having fun. They've been trying to act normal. They've been avoiding everything they know they should talk about. They've been pretending like everything is completely fine. They've been ignoring the fact that Christopher hasn't called or come by the house not once in the past two days. They've been ignoring the fact that no one has informed the elder Gilmore's yet. They've been ignoring everything. They've just been with each other… how they used to be.
Lorelai wants to see Luke. She wants to call him, or stop by the diner. She wants to make sure he hasn't changed his mind. She wants him to know she hasn't changed hers.
But Rory needs her. Rory needs to her to be there for her. So, Luke is going to have to wait a little bit longer. She stays up late, thinking about him, though… imagining. She imagines what he's doing, what he's thinking about. She wonders if he's thinking about her, if he misses her. She imagines what he looks like, what he's wearing. And she knows that, for now, that's as good as it will get… Imagining. Rory needs her, so for now, all she can do is imagine and wonder, but that's OK. Rory has a final tomorrow, so hopefully she'll see him then.
"Hey, do you think we should get the Dangerously Cheesy Cheetos?" Lorelai asked Rory, at the grocery store that night. They were having another movie marathon.
"Well, we already have the normal Cheetos, Sour Cream & Onion, Salt & Vinegar, Fritos, Doritos, and Barbeque." Rory told her.
"So… yes?" Lorelai asked.
Rory nodded, and Lorelai threw the bag into their cart.
"Hey, did we forget the Ho-hos?" Rory asked.
"No! We couldn't have." Lorelai said.
"We did!" Rory said.
"We have the Ding-Dongs, the Ring-Dings, the Suzy Q's, the Twinkies, the mini muffins and the Snowballs." Lorelai said, looking through their cart. "Oh my God! We forgot the Ho-hos!" She exclaimed.
"Let's go back and get them." Rory said. "I think the candy section is on the way." She told her mother.
"Oh… How about we get… Red Vines."
"Of course." Rory said.
"And um… Jelly Beans…Crispy MM's, peanut butter MM's… and some…"
"Normal MM's?" Rory asked.
"Yeah, we can put them all in one huge bowl and have like trail mix… without all the healthy stuff."
"Just the way we like it." Rory added.
Lorelai nodded, and began pushing the cart towards the Ho-ho section.
"This is a lot of food." Rory said, looking inside the cart.
"So? We'll have leftovers for breakfast." Lorelai said.
"I guess you're right." Rory said.
"So…" Rory began, watching her mother set up all the food in front of her.
"Yeah?" Lorelai asked.
"Tell me about… Tell me about Luke." She said.
Lorelai stopped, and looked at her daughter. "What?"
"Tell me about him."
"You've met him." Lorelai said, still in shock of what Rory just said.
"But I don't really know him." Rory said.
"Rory… are you sure?" Lorelai asked.
"I want you to be happy." She told her honestly.
Lorelai smiled, and sat beside her daughter. "Well… um… he owns a diner, and he makes the world's best coffee."
"Does this mean we get free food now?" Rory asked.
"Maybe." Lorelai smiled.
"So… tell me something I don't know." Rory said.
"Um… I don't know… He has a sister… His mother died when he was younger, his father died when he was about 20. He didn't go to college, so he could take care of him… He's stayed in Stars Hollow his entire life. Never wanted to leave, I guess." Lorelai said.
"Well, the outside world is overrated." Rory said, making Lorelai laugh.
She knew this was hard for Rory. It had to be. But she loved her for trying. She loved her for pretending this was normal. She loved her for pretending this was OK. She loved her for not hating her and for wanting her to be happy.
She loved her for being Rory.
"Yeah, yeah it is." She said, pulling her daughter in a hug, and kissing the top of her head.
"I love you, kid." She told her.
"I love you, too, Mom." Rory said. "Now, c'mon, Molly Ringwald awaits!" Rory said.
"You're right. Let's start the movie. It's already 7 o'clock, and we have a lot of movies to get through."
"Maybe we should fast forward through the previews." Rory suggested.
"Never!" Lorelai said.
"You're right. What was I thinking?" Rory asked.
"I don't know." Lorelai shrugged.
"You start the movie, and I'll get the Red Vines."
"Alright, hurry!"
She had just finished getting dressed when the front door opened. Rory had gone to school about 15 minutes ago. Maybe she forgot something.
"Did you forget something?" She called out.
There was no answer, but there are footsteps coming towards her bedroom.
"Rory?" She asked
"No." She heard his voice, from outside the bedroom.
"Chris?" She asked.
"Hi." He said, stepping into the bedroom. He looked different. His hair was messy. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept in a while, or he's been working too hard. She spotted a hickey on his neck, and it somehow made her feel even more guilty, because she knew she should feel badly about it, but she doesn't.
"Hi." She said, softly.
He nodded, acknowledging that he heard her.
"We should talk." She said, almost asking him.
"What is there to say?" He asked her.
"Chris…"
"I'm not in the mood for talking, Lor." He told her.
"But, don't you think…"
"No, I don't." He answered, before she had the chance to finish.
"Well… what are we going to do?" She asked, gently.
"I don't know." He shrugged, looking down at the floor.
"Well… um…" She began, but he looked up at her and she stopped.
"I already know what you're going to say, Lor." He told her. "You're going to say you want a divorce. It's what you've been saying for months. I get it. You want a divorce. I get it." He said.
"Chris…"
"People will talk." He told her.
"I don't care about people, Chris." She told him, frustrated. She was sick of caring about what other people thought.
"Our parents will kill us." He said.
"Chris… We can't just stay together because of what other people might think or what our parents might do." She said.
He sighed, and then looked up at her again. "What did Rory say, when you told her?" He asked.
She looked down at the floor.
"You did tell her didn't you?" He asked.
"I told her." She said, her eyes still fixated on the floor.
"And what did she say?" Chris asked.
She looked up at him again. "I'm sorry, Chris." She told him, genuinely. "I really am."
"Yeah…" He said
"We just… I just… I can't do this anymore. We aren't happy. You cannot tell me that you're happy with all of this, or that… that you still love me. We both know that, that ended so long ago." Lorelai told him. "We aren't happy, and we shouldn't have to pretend that we are." She told him.
She tried to make it work. She really did. She spent 16 years trying to make it work. She tried to make it work for Rory, for them, for their parents. She tried to tell herself that it'd be OK, that'd they could do this, that they could be happy. She tried to tell herself that her and Luke could be just friends. But she knew. She knew that her and Chris weren't meant to be. She knew they weren't in love. She knew this wouldn't work. And she knew the way that Luke made her feel. She knew that, that was real. Her marriage never was.
She tried to make it work, but some things just can't be saved.
"So… that's it?" He asked her.
She shrugged. "We just got married too young, Chris."
"You were pregnant! I was trying to do the right thing." He told her, defensively.
"Maybe it was the right thing, then, but… I don't think it is anymore." She said, softly.
"Yeah." He said, looking at the floor.
"Things don't last forever." She said, softly.
But that's what she was afraid of… That things don't last forever. That her and Luke won't last forever. That she'll be lonely. That she won't have anyone. That he'll change his mind and leave her. That he'll hurt her. That she'll hurt him. That he won't want her anymore. Because things don't last forever…
That's what she was afraid of.
Love was always so short, and forgetting was just so long.
She didn't go see Luke that day. She went somewhere else instead.
She knew she had to do this. They'll find out eventually, and it had to be from her.
She knew she had to do this. She just really didn't want to.
She finally got the nerve to knock on the door. The newest maid, opened it for her and took her coat.
"Are Mr. & Mrs. Gilmore home?" She asked the maid.
Before the maid had a chance to answer, Emily was in the room. "Lorelai! What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Oh, uh… I just… I have to talk to you and Dad." She said.
"Richard is in his study." Emily said.
"Well, can you… can he… can you get him away for a few minutes?" She asked, softly. Emily could tell she's nervous.
"Richard!" She called, not taking her eyes off her daughter. "Richard!"
"What is it Emily?" He asked, opening his study door, and taking off his glasses.
"Lorelai needs to talk to us." Emily said.
"Can it wait until 3? I'm talking to China." He said.
"Richard." Emily said.
"Alright, I'll be out in a second." Richard said.
"Living room?" Emily asked, and Lorelai nodded. "Do you want a drink?" Emily asked. The maid had just made a pot of tea.
Lorelai knew she was going to need a drink in order to tell them the news. "Gin martini." She answered.
"Oh… OK." Emily said. "It's 2 in the afternoon, Lorelai." Emily reminded her.
"I know." Lorelai said.
"Well, alright." Emily said, looking at her strangely.
Lorelai sat down on the couch, and looked around aimlessly. She wasn't even sure where to begin. She wasn't sure what to say, or how much to tell them. How are you supposed to tell your parents you had an affair?
"Here." Emily said, handing her the drink.
"Thanks." She said, taking the glass, and taking a big sip. Emily sat down, watching her.
"So, what is this about?" She asked, suspiciously.
"Um… Can we wait until Dad gets here?" Lorelai asked, before taking another large sip of her martini.
"Would you like another?" Emily asked, sarcastically.
"Yes please." Lorelai said, surprising her mother. But, Emily got up and made her another anyway. She guessed she must have some big news.
"Sorry about that." Richard said, coming into the living room. "Emily, it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon." Richard said, when he saw her making a martini.
"It's for Lorelai, Richard." Emily said
"Lorelai? It's two o'clock in the afternoon."
"I know, Dad."
"Well, alright." He said, sitting down on the couch, across from his daughter. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
"Um…" Lorelai said, until Emily handed her another martini. She took one last big sip, before setting it down, and looking up at her parents.
"I have some news." She said.
"OK…" Richard said.
"You probably won't like it… Actually, I'm sure you won't like it, but you're going to find out anyway and it should be from me."
"What is it, Lorelai?" Emily asked.
"Chris and I… Well, we're… we're getting a… divorce." She said, and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"You're… you're what?" Richard asked.
"A divorce, Dad." Lorelai said.
"A divorce? You've been married 16 years! You're getting a divorce now?" He asked.
"Yes." Lorelai said plainly.
"Why?" He asked.
"What?"
"I want a good reason why you two can't work this out, why you can't be together. Why, after 16 years of marriage, you decide that you've had enough. I want a very good reason." Richard said.
"We're not in love anymore."
"Richard…" Emily offered, trying to calm him down.
"How can you be so calm about this?" He asked her. "They're getting a divorce, Emily! Imagine what people are going to say!"
"I don't give a damn about what people say, Dad!" Lorelai said.
"Whose idea was it?" Richard asked. "Oh who am I kidding? It was your idea, wasn't it? Christopher would never do something like this. He's too weak to do something like this." Richard said.
"It was my idea, Dad." Lorelai said.
"Of course." Richard sighed.
"We got married because of Rory, Dad. Rory doesn't need us anymore… Don't you understand that?" She asked.
"Rory will always need you."
"She doesn't need us, together." Lorelai told him.
Richard shook his head.
"We tried, Dad. We tried to make it work. We really did." Lorelai said.
"You didn't try hard enough!" He yelled
"Richard…" Emily said, trying to calm him down again.
"Emily! How can you be so calm about this? They are breaking up! The mother and father of our granddaughter are no longer together!" He said.
Emily looked at Lorelai, then back at Richard, and back at her daughter again.
"I just want her to be happy."
She was nervous when she pulled in across the street. She was scared as she crossed it. She almost turned back when she reached the steps. She almost didn't open the door.
She didn't know what had to be said. She didn't know what he was feeling. She didn't know what she was feeling. She didn't know if he changed his mind. She didn't know if she had. She didn't know if it was worth it. She didn't know if she should just turn back, drive away, and forget.
She didn't know if she'd be able to forget.
So, she pushed the door open, and he looked up.
"I thought you might have changed your mind." He told her, with a small smile.
She took a deep breath, and sat on a stool at the counter.
He looked nervous then. "Did you?" He asked. She didn't answer.
"Lorelai?" He asked
"I love you." She said, softly, with a sigh.
He moved to the other side of the counter, and sat on the stool beside her. "I love you, too." He said, with concern in his voice.
"Do you?" She asked.
"Yes… Lorelai, what's going on?" He asked.
"Because I loved Christopher. Christopher loved me, and you know how that turned out." Lorelai babbled on.
"This isn't the same." He told her.
"How do you know?" She asked. "16 years ago, if somebody told me all of this would happen, I wouldn't have believed it. How do you know that we'll be together? How do you know that this is all worth it. How do you know that I'm worth it?" She asked him.
"I just do." He said.
"That isn't good enough." She told him.
"Why not?" He asked.
She sighed, and looked up at him. "Things don't last forever, Luke." She told him.
"Some things do." He said.
"Like what?" She challenged him.
"Like… Well, they always say diamonds are forever. And… uhh… fossils… the giant slinky near the lake, town meetings, you and Rory's friendship, the hooky poky… The Beatles, Taylor's lawn height rule, Kirk's virginity." He said.
"Hey, he might lose it, you never know." Lorelai told him, and he smiled.
"I don't want to think about that." Luke told her, and she nodded. "You OK?" He asked her.
"Yeah… I just… I don't know. I freaked out." She told him. "I'm sorry."
"It's OK." He said, pushing her hair behind her ears. "But look, you don't have to worry about that, OK? I'm going to be here, I'm going to help you… always. I'm not changing my mind." He told her.
"Me either." She told him. It excited her, and it completely terrified her. She has never been very good at loving anyone besides Rory. She knew he was different. She knew he was Luke, and he was completely perfect and wonderful. She knew he was hers. She knew she was his. She wouldn't want it any other way.
She was never that good at love, but this was Luke, and she was sure that it would be different. She was sure they would be forever.
"Good." He told her.
She smiled and leaned towards him.
And they kissed with their eyes closed.
Well… that is the end. Boohoo. I'm sorry if the ending is a tiny bit cheesy, but hey, I had to say it, you know?
I loved writing this story, and I really hope you guys enjoyed this. Please review.
I thought about the whole sequel thing since a lot of you suggested it. I mean, I could write something about how Rory, Lorelai & Luke adjust. About Emily and Richard meeting Luke… Lorelai and Rory moving to Stars Hollow and how everyone reacts to that… You know, all of that stuff. But yeah, I don't know. I don't think I'm going to… Sorry guys. Somebody else is welcome to write it, if they want. I'd love to read it.
As for my new story…
Poker Faces has 19 votes
The second idea (possibly going to be named: Hammers, Nails & Florence Nightingale thx to LorLukealways) has 20 votes
The Last Crazy Thing has 11 votes
So yeah, if you haven't voted yet, please do. I will probably write all three of these stories eventually, I just want to know which you guys would like to see first. So yes, please vote.
Oh, and as for the beta thing… I'm still not sure if I'm actually going to have one. But yeah, if I decide to, I'll let you know. Thanks to everyone who offered, though. I really appreciate it.
OK… I guess I'm going to have to end this now. "It's hard to do… I guess that's why it's taken me such a long time to let you go. It's hard. It's really hard, but I have to do it… I mean, really, if you think about… all that has been happening here is just a long goodbye."
And with that note…
THE END.