"So, how much do you remember of it?" Kanan asks.

"Everything, as far as I can tell," Zeb answers with a shrug. "Everything from being a kit on Lasan to when I'd just taken Alex to Lira San to go live there… You?"

"Same. I remember being taken to the jedi temple, Order 66, finding Hera and then you and the kids, fighting the Empire, all the way up until the fuel depot…" Zeb sees Kanan's shoulders hunch inwards, and he understands his reaction to the memory-it wasn't something pleasant for him to remember either.

"And then after that I was… Present, sort of? Not in a physical way, but I guess as a part of the Force-watching over you guys as best I could, trying to offer comfort even though I didn't know if you guys could tell I was there…" Kanan continues after taking a moment to collect himself. "Then Ezra got taken away, and after that everything seemed to happen really fast-it's like a few years flew by in a blur and suddenly there was Hera with Jacen… I hadn't even known that she'd been pregnant! And now I wasn't able to be there for her and our kid because the stupid game controls fucked up at the depot so I wasn't able to jump to safety..."

His hand clutches around a napkin, harshly crumpling it, and Zeb could almost palpably feel his frustration.

"I guess the things happening fast at the end was the game epilogue or something," Zeb speculates, trying to make sense of what had happened. "As for the explosion… I brought that up with Dr. Tano-or Ahsoka, I guess-about how it didn't make any sense, and as soon as I mentioned it she shunted me out of the facility as quickly as she could."

"So I'm not the only one feeling like she's hiding things?" Kanan asks with a wry smile.

"Definitely not," Zeb reassures him. "I mean, the whole game-I thought it was just going to maybe last a month or so of game time at the most, long enough for a short adventure. They didn't tell us that it was going to last a whole lifetime, or that I was going to come out of it feeling like…"

"Feeling like you'd lived two different lives, and now your brain doesn't quite know how to balance that out?" Kanan finishes for him.

"Exactly." Zeb lets out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in. "Christ, I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one who feels this way, I thought I was going crazy."

"You're definitely not," Kanan answers, reaching over the table and gently squeezing his hand. "I'm really, really relieved too-and not just because I now have someone who gets this! I've missed you. Missed all of our family, really. I've been going crazy trying to find any of you, and now I finally at least have my best friend back..."

Zeb felt himself grinning-Kanan still thought of him as his best friend?

"It's really, really good to have you back too," Zeb answers, squeezing Kanan's hand back, before something occurs to him. "Wait, when you say you've been trying to find any of us… Do you mean Hera isn't with you?"

"No." Kanan's shoulders slump miserably. "Sometimes I miss her so much it physically hurts, but I don't even know where to start looking for her…"

"I-I figured you guys were already a couple who were just playing the game together!" Everything that he'd seen of Hera and Kanan together, it had all only happened in the game?

"No." Kanan shakes his head. "If anything, my life out here is almost exactly like it was in the game before I met Hera... I don't really have anyone."

"Well you've got me know," Zeb says firmly-he knew that he couldn't make up for losing Hera, but he wanted Kanan to know that he wasn't alone.

"Thanks, Zeb." Kanan gives him a grateful smile. "So… What about you and Alex? Do you know him out here, or…?"

"I have no clue where he is," Zeb admits. "So I understand how you feel about not knowing where your romantic partner is."

"Jeez, Zeb, I'm sorry you're having to go through this too..."

"Don't be." Zeb shakes his head, as if to clear away the dark thoughts. "I mean, the receptionist promised to give our information to anyone who was trying to find us, so that's progress, right? I'm sure that the others have been looking for us too!"

"Right, definitely!" Zeb could tell that Kanan wasn't any more convinced than he was, but they had to have something to hold onto right now, even if it only gave them the tiniest bit of hope.

"Wow." Kanan lets out a small chuckle. "We're quite the pair, aren't we? Both in love with someone we met in a game when we have no idea what they're even like in real life."

"Guess we do make a pair that way." Zeb finds himself laughing as well-maybe it was a bit ridiculous, but at least he had someone else who understood where he was coming from.

"I guess that for now all we can really do is wait to see if we hear back from any of the others if they contact the facility," Kanan says once they've both stopped laughing, taking a sip from his drink. "Unless you've had any revelations about better ways to look for them, because I've run out of ideas."

"Nah, I think waiting is all we can really do right now," Zeb agrees-he knew that both of them hated not doing anything, but there wasn't much else they could do.

"I guess in the meantime, the two of us can hang out, at least?" Kanan suggests, sounding a bit hesitant. "I mean, no pressure, I totally understand if you don't want to! But I just thought maybe on the weekends or whenever you'd be free it would be nice to get to know you better… Y'know, out here?"

"I'd like that-I'd really, really like that." Zeb had been worried that maybe Kanan wouldn't want to spend time with him, so the fact that he did was a huge relief!

"Great!" Kanan beams at him. "So, what kinds of things do you like to do for fun?"

"You mean outside of the obvious, watching Star Wars?"

"Yes, outside of that obvious answer."

"Well… I don't do a whole lot," Zeb admits. "I start my day at work-"

"Wait, you start your day at work?"

"I usually sleep in a cot in the back of my shop."

"...Zeb, are you okay?" Kanan asks, a frown forming on his face. "Do you not have a house or anywhere else to live? Because if you don't, my apartment's kind of small but I'm happy to let you-!"

"No, no, it's not like that!" Zeb hurries to reassure him. "But thank you for the offer." It was touching that Kanan was willing to open his home to him-to a man who was practically a stranger, no less. "I have the house that my grandparents left me that I grew up in, but there are a lot of memories there that make it… Hard to be there sometimes. Plus it's easier to get to work waking up and already being there, so I just kip in the back and rent out the house most of the time. Other than that I mostly do my work, making and selling carvings, and I go to the gym almost every night but I don't really have any friends there or anything: I just kind of work out on my own and shower, then go back to my shop."

"I see…" Kanan slowly nods, and Zeb could tell that, despite his best efforts, Kanan was still worried about him. Crap. He needed a distraction, and fast, before this turned into more pity than he was ready to deal with. "What about you? What do you like to do?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out," Kanan answers, and now it was his turn to look a bit uncomfortable. "Like I said, my life until about a month ago-a month out here, that is-was pretty much partying and getting drunk whenever I didn't have to be sober, and sometimes I'd get drunk even when I knew that I needed to be sober. I was… A mess, to be frank. Some people can party and drink and be safe about it, but I didn't know how to do it in any moderation, and I hurt as many other people as I hurt myself. After everything I went through in the game, how far I came, I couldn't go back to that life anymore once I woke up. I know that everyone at my work thinks that I've lost it or must have had a near-death experience or joined a cult or something, which means any social life there is pretty much gone. That's why I'm currently trying to figure out what I want to do with myself outside of work…"

"I think I can understand that." Zeb nods, processing everything Kanan had just told him. "Damn. I never thought I'd miss smashing buckets, but at least it was something to do, y'know?"

"Exactly!" Kanan laughs as their food finally arrives. He waits until the server was gone before leaning in and asking Zeb in a quieter voice, "Am I the only one who gets paranoid sometimes? Like, just walking out in public, I still expect to see stormtroopers coming after me?"

"No, I absolutely do the same thing!" Zeb hurries to reassure him. "I had some kid come into the shop with his parents the other day dressed in a stormtrooper, and I got super tense even though he was just a kid… That's crazy, right?"

"A bit," Kanan admits. "But I get where you're coming from. That game… For as grateful as I am for all of the good stuff that came from it, it really, really fucked us up too. I mean, it put us through a freaking war, and we had no idea that it wasn't real. Even after leaving the game, it's hard to leave that behind…"

"It is," Zeb agrees, letting his head lean back against the padded seat of the booth. "Fuck. I'm really starting to feel that need for a drink…"

"Same," Kanan sighs, absently running a hand through his hair. "I think the only reason I'm not a few bottles in right now is I'm trying to stay clean for Hera and the kids and, well… I kind of have you here to help keep me a bit distracted."

"Aww, that's sweet, Kanan-and I'm glad I could help," Zeb says with a soft smile.

"Yeah." Kanan smiles back. "I'm just kind of worried about not giving in to temptation once we're finished here and I go home…"

Zeb hated seeing Kanan like this. He knew how hard Kanan had worked in the game to get sober, but he also knew it had taken a lot of support to get him there. He didn't want to see him losing all of that hard work…

"But it's not like we can spend all of our time together like on the Ghost, right?" Kanan continues wryly.

Wait-that actually gave Zeb an idea!

"Maybe not all of our time-but maybe weekends, at least this weekend?" Zeb hedges.

"What do you mean?" Kanan gives him a confused look.

"I mean, there are a bunch of rooms in my grandparent's house-that's why I usually rent it out to families or big groups," Zeb answers, trying to phrase this in such a way that hopefully Kanan would agree to go along with it. "It's a pretty nice place, there's even a lake out back if you like fishing or boating. I just… I figured maybe you could come over, we could talk and keep each other company, binge watch some Star Wars if you're not already sick of doing that? And I'd keep any alcohol locked in my grandad's liquor cabinet and wouldn't tell you where it was so that wouldn't be any temptation!"

"I…" Kanan seems to be considering his offer. "That… Actually sounds pretty nice. But you're sure that you trust a stranger to stay in your house?"

"Kanan, you're not a stranger to me and you know that."

"...All right then." After taking a moment to mull it over, Kanan grins and squeezes his arm. "Thank you. I'd need to stop by my place to pick up a few things after we finish here-"

"Not a problem at all," Zeb reassures him. "That'll give me a chance to get the place cleaned up if it needs it, maybe grab some groceries for us while I'm at it since I don't always keep the kitchen super well stocked-don't want things going bad if I'm not there to use them."

"Makes total sense," Kanan agrees. "Okay then, yeah, I'm in! Thanks, Zeb. This… This means a lot to me."

"Hey, you're my best friend-you know I'd do anything for you," Zeb answers.

"Yeah. I know." Kanan gives him a grateful grin before finally starting to eat his ramen.

Zeb does the same, not able to believe just how good it was as he tastes it for the first time. "Holy shit, that is amazing!"

"Right?" Kanan laughs. "I usually come here at least once a week."

"I can see why! I will definitely be coming here again in the future."

After that the two of them mostly focused on eating, still exchanging small talk as they did so. But as they ate, Zeb couldn't help but get the feeling that they were being watched. He wasn't quite sure why he had this feeling, and he didn't want to start looking around for anyone staring at them in case it got awkward, but it was still an uncomfortable feeling, like the back of his neck was constantly prickling. Was he just being paranoid, or was this some battle instinct that was warning him of a real danger?

"I can feel it too," Kanan suddenly says in a soft voice..

"What?" Zeb looks up at him in surprise-could Kanan have known what he was thinking?

"Pretty sure it's that person in the hat and sunglasses over there," Kanan whispers, subtly jerking his head towards a table on the other side of the restaurant. "They probably think we're on a date and they're either extremely homophobic or a pervert. Or possibly they're just someone else queer who's excited to have found other queer people and is trying to figure out how to talk to us. But the hat and sunglasses seem pretty shady so I'm leaning towards the former."

"But we're not on a date!" Zeb protests, feeling his cheeks burning. Not that Kanan wasn't ridiculously handsome, but he had Alex!

"I know that, and you know that, but apparently two guys being at all physically affectionate is cause to assume that we're a couple," Kanan sighs.

"Fuck that," Zeb mumbles under his breath.

"I couldn't agree more. Still, not sure how to get them to stop staring at us so we can eat in peace… Unless you want to give them a show, see how they react."

"...Give them a show? What do you mean by that?"

"Do some light kissing or making out-it will probably freak them out if they're a homophobe. Don't know if it'll do much good if they're a pervert, but it's about a fifty/fifty chance it might work."

"O-Oh!" Zeb feels his cheeks flushing even more. "I… Um… I-I'm sorry Kanan, but I'm not sure that I could…"

"Zeb, it's fine." Kanan smiles and presses his knee against Zeb's under the table. "Seriously. It was just a suggestion, but I won't ask you to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

"Thanks, Kanan." Zeb lets out a small sigh of relief. As much as the idea of pissing off homophobes appealed to him, he didn't feel comfortable kissing anyone but Alex. At least not until he'd found Alex in this world and seen where things lay between them.

After that, Zeb could tell that both he and Kanan were eating a bit faster, ready to get out of there and away from the creepy person who continued to stare at them. They could have alerted the waitstaff, but both of them agreed that they didn't want to put the poor employees through that unless they had to.

Once they were back outside, Zeb noticed Kanan shivering slightly. "Damn, it's chilly for a late spring night," the shorter man observes, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I heard on the news that there's a storm comin', so it could be that," Zeb says, looking up at the sky and seeing that a few dark clouds were gathering overhead.

"Right-guess we'd better get a move on if we want to get to your grandparents' house before it starts raining. Text me the address and I'll meet you there in a bit?"

"Sure thing," Zeb agrees. "Oh, and text me back with what kind of foods you like so I'll know what to get when I stop by the store!"

"Zeb, you don't have to-!" Kanan starts to protest.

"Nah-if you're staying over I want you to have food that you're going to enjoy eating," Zeb answers firmly. "It's what friends do for each other."

"Thanks." Kanan smiles and gently bumps against his side. "Okay, I'll text you once I get to my apartment-it's not too far from here and it'll give me time to think since I don't usually keep a list of favorite foods that I can pull off the top of my head."

"Works for me," Zeb agrees-the store he liked to go to was a bit of a drive from this part of town anyways so Kanan had some time to get back to him on the food anyways.

He wasn't quite sure how to say goodbye, but Kanan solved the issue for him, giving him a quick hug before waving and getting into his car. Zeb felt his heart skip a small beat at the hug, but he forces himself to shake it off. No, he couldn't be having thoughts like that about Kanan, especially when not only was he committed to Alex, but Kanan was actually married to Hera! Kanan was his friend, and that was that, end of discussion.

Getting into his truck, he turns on the radio. He didn't usually listen to music while he drove, but tonight he needed a good distraction, and using loud country music to drown out his thoughts was about as good a distraction as he could think of at the moment.

He arrived at his grandparents' house about forty-five minutes later, pulling to a stop in the dirt driveway. He was loaded down with grocery bags-he'd kind of gone a bit overboard since this was his first time having anyone over in… Well, probably since he'd been a teenager, really. But he wanted this weekend to be perfect, just two best friends bonding and getting to spend time together.

He was almost finished with putting the groceries away (he was a bit surprised that he'd managed to carry in the many, many bags all in one trip-had he been working out more since he'd woken up to burn off his pent up anger?) when he hears the doorbell ringing. Kanan!

"The door's unlocked, let yourself in!" Zeb calls.

He hears the front door creaking open, followed by Kanan's voice asking teasingly, "Should you really be leaving your door open like that? What if I'd been a serial killer?"

"I'll take my chances-think I could fight off a serial killer if one was coming after me," Zeb deadpans.

"You probably could," Kanan laughs. "Where are you, anyways?"

"Why should I tell a serial killer where I am?" Zeb teases. "Wouldn't that just make his job easier?"

"But I thought we just agreed that you could fight off a serial killer!"

"Whatever." Zeb chuckles. "I'm in the kitchen-just walk straight forward, through the living room and the dining room and you'll see it."

"Got it."

Zeb listens to the sound of footsteps coming closer until he finally hears Kanan speaking again.

"Holy shit, that is a lot of food-are you planning to feed an army?"

"Well I tend to eat a lot and I didn't know how much you eat so I was just trying to be prepared," Zeb answers with a shrug.

"Makes sense." Kanan hikes the worn duffel bag that he was holding further up on his shoulder. "So, where can I put this?"

"Right, follow me!" The rest of the groceries weren't perishables so they could wait. Zeb leads Kanan upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms-it had its own en suite bathroom, plus a nice view of the lake, so he figured Kanan would enjoy it.

"Wow," Kanan says softly as he follows Zeb in, looking around. "This place is really, really nice. You're sure that it's okay for me to stay here?"

"Sure," Zeb reassures him. "I just fixed everything up since I rent this place out, although I have to do regular upkeep and repairs since people aren't always respectful of others' property. But I can't imagine you're one of those people."

"I'm definitely not-at least not anymore. Thank you for trusting me and letting me stay here," Kanan says with a grateful smile, setting his duffel bag down on the bed. "I really appreciate it."

"Of course." Zeb gives him a grateful smile before looking curiously at the green bag. "My grandad had a duffel like that from his days in the army in World War 2. Did you serve?"

"What?" Kanan almost seemed to jump at the question. "Oh, no. I-I didn't. This was my mom's. She was in the army but she… Well, one tour she didn't make it back home."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Zeb whispers-fuck, why had he brought that up?

"It's fine." Kanan shrugs and pastes a phoney-looking smile on his face that Zeb didn't quite believe, but it didn't seem like Kanan wanted to talk about this so he lets it go.

"So-I think you mentioned watching Star Wars?" Kanan asks.

"Sure," Zeb agrees. "And maybe some ice cream? I feel like we could both use some of that after the days we've had."

"God, yes, ridiculously unhealthy amounts of ice cream sounds amazing right now," Kanan agrees, and together they head back down the stairs.

Zeb was put in charge of finding the first movie (they'd decided to go in chronological order, even though that wasn't technically the "right" way to do things) while Kanan made ice cream sundaes for the both of them. As it turned out, Kanan was an expert sundae maker, knowing just the right ratio of ice cream to hot fudge to walnuts to whipped cream-Zeb was pretty sure that he'd never had a better one. They ate as they watched the movie, and then sometime during Episode Two they broke out the blankets since Kanan said that he was getting cold. Zeb pointed out that Kanan would be warmer if he hadn't taken off his sweater and gone to only wearing a t-shirt, but Kanan came back with the rebuttal that he only wore that type of sweater for work where he had to be professional, and, as for his leather jacket, it was warm but wasn't comfortable for relaxing in, so Zeb had finally given in and gotten spare blankets out of the linen closet.

"You could just turn up the heat and save yourself the effort," Kanan points out.

"Yeah, no," Zeb deadpans. "I'm not turning the house into an oven just to make you happy, I don't feel like dying of heatstroke tonight."

"It's cold to a normal person, you're just a one-man furnace," Kanan huffs.

"No I'm not!" Zeb protests.

"Yes you are! And if you won't turn the heat up then I'll just have to use you for warmth." Kanan then proceeds to press himself up against Zeb's side, and Zeb felt himself getting even warmer in a way which had nothing to do with Kanan's added body heat. Still, he didn't say anything, just rolling his eyes and pretending to be offended. Still, he couldn't stop himself from eventually draping an arm over Kanan, who seemed perfectly content curled up next to him.

It was sometime around two a.m., when Zeb was so sleepy that he felt half drunk, that he decided it was probably time for them to head to bed.

"Hey, Kanan," he says softly, pausing the movie-he wasn't even sure which episode they were on anymore-and gently nudging the other man. "You can stay up if you want, but I'm going to head to bed. Do you need anything before I go up? …Kanan?"

Zeb's question was only answered with a soft snore.

"Kriff, you did not fall asleep on me!" Zeb shakes his head, trying without success to wake Kanan, the sleeping man staying stubbornly unconscious. Zeb could have tried to push him off-he didn't know when but at some point Kanan had ended up half-sprawled across Zeb's reclined form with his head on his chest-but he was kind of heavy, and also Zeb really didn't want to accidentally send him toppling onto the floor. Zeb lets out a heavy sigh. Apparently he was staying here, at least until Kanan woke back up. Well, the lights were already off, they had blankets, and the couch was pretty comfortable. Things could definitely be worse. And having Kanan curled up against him like this… Well, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't secretly enjoying it.

"Good night, Kanan," Zeb says softly, daring to run a hand through Kanan's hair, which had mostly fallen out of its ponytail by now, before using the remote to turn off the TV and settling down to sleep himself.