For anyone that might have missed this, I split the second intermission chapter, which was already a split chapter... into one more part. So if you last read stuff about Naruto, there's a chapter 19 waiting for you with the rest of that day through Hinata's eyes in a page that is not this one. Apologies for that!
And I would apologize for the delay too, but 95% of it was just my beta going MIA and sending the files back at an inopportune time. I feel bad you guys had to wait, but it was out of my hands. I was just as anxious as some of you.
Anyways, this entire second day was another reason for the second split. There's one big scene, one giant scene, and a micro scene at the end. Many sections of the first two were just me trying to keep up with the characters—they did their own thing, I was just recording it. Such an odd feeling...
This chapter is also very heavy. Or at least, that was my intention. Hopefully you guys have the heart to enjoy this!
Intermission
Chapter 20: Guiding Light (Star) [Current Version: 1.0]
Though Hinata's home had a dojo, she had always liked to practice outdoors better. Luckily for her, they had a yard for such purposes, and Hinata settled for a small corner near the entrance to her mother's garden where she could train in peace.
She was sitting on the ground with an array of bowls spread in front of her. Two small bowls that she was transferring water to and from, and a bigger bowl that held the other two and any water lost in the process.
In the air, hovering above the bowls, was a mass of water that appeared to be having a convulsion.
"Come on. Come on...!"
Her pleas went by ignored. A splash resounded through the area once again, and Hinata watched helplessly as the two liters water she had been wrestling to control fell a few inches away from the targeted bowl.
Despite her shoulders sagging with a brief sigh, Hinata didn't mind that failure much. She knew how much water she was capable of flawlessly manipulating, and it was not two liters—that would've meant she had completed her training. But she tried from time to time to move all the water from one small bowl to the other to see how far she had come. She had barely progressed since her day of training began two hours prior... but still, progress was progress, and Kakashi had made it very clear that this was the norm.
After manually pouring water back into the correct bowl and placing her hand about an inch above the water, Hinata tried again. Her chakra seeped into the water, mingling with it as she commanded. That was the easy part, and Hinata stopped the flow of her chakra once she had a connection with roughly 80% of the liquid—her current limit.
She raised her arm and so did the water. The mass kept the shape from the bowl as best as it could, but Hinata's control was still imperfect. Almost as if the water had been solid ice that was quickly melting, parts of the liquid fell back into the bowl in scattered drips across its "bottom".
Her arm then moved to the left, leaving a bit of water to drip into the big bowl until the mass was hovering above a second smaller, empty bowl. Slowly as to not make a huge mess, Hinata broke her control over the water and allowed it to fall gently.
It was tedious and repetitive work. The idea and sensation of being able to move the liquid as she willed it had become novel long ago, but she had to persist even as her other hand hurried to cover a stray yawn.
'Maybe Hanabi-chan had been right,' she thought, remembering her younger sister's tantrum over the alarm clock waking them up at five in the morning, ending with her calling Hinata crazy before rolling closer to the wall and hiding under both of their blankets. Though Hinata had ignored her then... as the hours flew by, she realized that maybe the little girl had a point.
'After all, yesterday was a very draining day and—'
"If you keep training under the sunlight, the water will begin to evaporate and your results will be compromised."
Gasping, Hinata whirled around and almost knocked over her training equipment.
Her eyes landed on a figure who was standing a few meters behind her, leaning against the door that led back into the manor. Their clothes were a simple tan shirt and khaki shorts, comfortable and practical for a warrior; they failed to hide the bandages covering both of their right limbs. One might have mistaken the person for a girl around Hinata's age, thanks to their long brown hair, tied in a small ponytail near the end, but the voice belonged to a male.
His face, framed by the straps of a thin headband hidden behind his forehead protector, showed no hints of emotions, much like his big, white eyes. However, the contempt in his tone made all that self-control futile.
"Neji nii-san...?"
"Hinata-sama," the boy, her cousin, replied icily. As they were alone—and according to his Byakugan, they would likely remain so for a while—Neji did not bow like a member of the Branch house should when greeting a "superior" Main house member. He instead kept staring silently at his cousin, the person he was supposed to protect with his life.
The intensity of the unnerving glare briefly scrambled Hinata's thoughts, but in a couple seconds she recovered and processed his warning. A minute later and her training equipment was now near Neji, protected from the sun thanks to the edge of the manor's roof, and she now stood face-to-face with him.
He seemed unwilling to start a conversation, and while Hinata's more sensible side told her that accepting it—all of it—was for the best and that she should go back to her training and hope boredom would force him to leave... she wanted to say something. However, common topics like "how are you doing" were futile with him, she knew. He'd merely reply that "the life of a Branch house member should not worry you, Hinata-sama," and they'd go nowhere. Well, she'd go nowhere, he'd go anywhere else.
Small talk was not her forte, and accepting that, she sat beside him on the wooden floor and resumed her training. Neji's mere presence affected her emotional state; she knew she was being judged in some way, and the reflection of this was in how much the water obeyed her. Simply keeping the water in the same form the bowl had shaped it was now a bit of a struggle, and more water than usual was lost between the transfer from one small bowl to the other.
That was on her first try. By the seventh she had fully immersed herself in the exercise again, her cousin's silent presence blocked from her mind. Neji had watched every detail, thanks to his Byakugan... and he wasn't impressed.
After her twelfth attempt, he couldn't contain himself anymore. "This is all you've learned from the ninjutsu lesson?"
Neji meant to question the lesson rather than Hinata herself, but she took the question as an insult. With barely concealed irritation, she retrieved one of the bowls and offered it to him. "I-It's harder than it l-looks."
"Is that so?"
Not one to ignore a challenge, Neji approached her and placed his hand close to the water. He replicated what she had done to the best of his ability, but his chakra couldn't even move a drop... exactly like Hinata had expected. After all, if her cousin wasn't an anomaly like herself, then his affinity was Lightning.
It was only a natural result, but as childish as it was, a small, envious part of her enjoyed watching him fail at something she was good at, even if she tried to push that feeling away.
Frowning, Neji crossed his arms while Hinata placed the bowl back inside the bigger one.
"Kakashi-sensei wants us to master basic elemental manipulation before teaching anything else," Hinata continued, both the conversation and her training. "There was also a theoretical lesson on that kind of ninjutsu. It was... surprisingly helpful."
Neji scoffed. "I hope it is worth my time," he said, voice dripping with arrogance. "I accepted to be part of Hokage-sama's project with the intent of learning about and how to fight against advanced ninjutsu and genjutsu, rather than practicing those techniques myself. You know that our clan frowns upon people dedicating themselves to those areas before they master the Gentle Fist."
She felt the accusation and had to focus harder to get her chakra to mix with the water. "Yes, I-I'm aware, but... otou-sama allowed us to. He said to me, b-before, that it was okay in our case."
Hinata's arm slowly lifted, and with it the water followed. The mass of liquid—smaller than usual—trembled, and some of it fell as it hovered above the bowl.
"Hiashi-sama only allowed it because he sees your fate for what it is, and no longer cares."
Her connection with the water broke completely; the resulting splash soaked her hands and arms up to the coat's elbow. Hinata did not move an inch.
"After hearing about your return during breakfast, Hinata-sama... I had wondered if, perhaps, you had changed in any way after having your first taste of the real world. But clearly, you have not. You are still the same pathetic girl that left the village two weeks ago."
Hinata physically recoiled, as if Neji had slapped her. Her hands slowly, very slowly, retracted closer to her body, almost as if to protect herself.
"What do you hope to accomplish with that? Do you think you can grow stronger? Are you happy with the intended results? With how much learning those new tricks will actually help you become the heiress you were supposed to be?"
Her breathing was quickening. "I... I... I am—"
"Just running away, like you always do," he cut her off with a glare she felt, but didn't dare to see. "The only thing I don't know is if you realized that you'll never become strong enough to learn techniques like the Rotation and grew desperate or if you are genuinely delusional and think you can improve like this. It's useless."
Hinata knew that Neji was wrong. She knew she could improve. She knew she could become more useful—and hadn't she already? She knew she had changed! As a person, as a kunoichi... the "same" Hinata from two weeks before would've died on that bridge.
All of that was on the tip of her tongue, just waiting to be let out, but...
"You'll never strong enough."
Her voice betrayed her.
"But in the end, I suppose it's no different than what you've been doing these past few years," he continued, mercilessly. "I've seen you training, Hinata-sama, and it was a complete waste of your time. You were born a failure and you will die a failure, no matter how much you struggle to escape that fate."
"Failure. Failure. Failure," echoed inside her mind repeatedly, mingling with the drumming of her own heartbeat.
"Destiny cannot be outrun, Hinata-sama. You know this and ye—"
"ENOUGH!"
The nearby sliding doors opened with a slam. Hinata only wished that was her voice, but it wasn't.
"Get away from her!"
Guided by instinct and the sound, Neji danced around a deadly palm thrust that came from behind him and swept his feet, tripping his assailant. The person tumbled near Hinata and almost crashed into her training equipment.
Neji's eyes were wide-open. Though the person now wore an orange jacket and red skirt instead of the clan's traditional training clothes, he recognized them.
"Hanabi-sama?!"
The girl, whose Byakugan was active, met Hinata's eyes for but one moment. Hanabi turned around, her eyes blazing with a ferocity Hinata had never seen before on her little sister.
"You jerk..." she cursed as she tried to get up.
"Hanabi-sama, I ca—"
"I don't care about your excuses!"
Hanabi's fingers blurred in a sequence of hand signs. Hinata did not recognize it at first, but when Neji did, and when his legs gave out on him even before Hanabi completed the sequence, she already had leaped into action.
Hanabi yelped as Hinata's wet hands clasped her right wrist forcefully and struggled out of panic, trying to pull away. "Onee-sama, what're you doing?!"
"Hanabi, stop! Now!"
The commanding, forceful tone coming from Hinata of all people came as such as shock to Hanabi that her arm went limp under Hinata's grip before she even realized it.
Hinata released her and dried her hands on her coat before approaching Neji.
"Neji nii-san...?" she called him, but there was no reaction.
He was still looking in Hanabi's direction, but his gaze was unfocused; he was clearly somewhere else... and Hinata knew where. Despite her young age, she still clearly remembered the only other time she had seen an expression of pure terror on Neji's face.
It had been when Hiashi activated the caged bird seal of his own brother, Neji's father, leaving the young boy to watch helplessly as his father convulsed on the floor, screaming in unbearable pain. The same seal Hanabi had been about to activate in his forehead.
Hinata crouched beside him and gently shook his shoulder.
"Neji nii-san," she called more firmly. She had to repeat herself a couple more times until he snapped out of it, shifting his confused eyes towards her. "Can you stand?" she asked offering her hand.
She saw fury flashing in his white eyes as he recognized the worry in her features.
"I don't need your pity...!" he batted her hand away, growling dangerously as he rose by his own power. "Especially not from a false like you."
Hinata, dumbfounded by the accusation, subconsciously took a step back. Her mouth parted, but she was interrupted before the question formed.
"What are you still doing here?!" Hanabi demanded. "Get out!"
Neji almost complied immediately... but he couldn't help himself, and his eyes met Hinata's one last time.
"Hiashi-sama, Hanabi-sama... when are you going to fight your own battles?"
"OUT!"
He didn't dare to push his luck further.
The door closed. With Neji no longer on her sights, Hanabi aimed her anger at her sister instead.
"I can't believe you sided with him! Just... why?!"
Hinata sighed wearily. 'How can I possibly explain something so illogical as that?'
Why she still wanted to repair their bond was something Hinata had never been able to determine for sure. She wanted to believe it was lingering love, born from when they were small children and their families were still whole, but... the way Neji could be so brutal to her psyche made her doubt herself.
Could it be that she just pitied him because of his situation, or still felt guilt over being the reason he lost his father? Maybe she just wanted his love again out of a needy selfishness, or was simply unable to accept his feelings changed so much? Or perhaps he was right... she was just running away, seeking to befriend him again in hopes of never having to face the truth in his harsh words again.
...Hinata could not to reply Hanabi's indignation. Instead, she crouched to the young girl's level and changed topic.
"You were going to use the seal, weren't you?"
"I was." Hanabi's Byakugan receded. "Otou-sama said to—"
"Please," Hinata held her hand, "forget what our father said, just this once," she pleaded. "Our clan is divided, but the Branch house members are still human, Hanabi-chan. You can't hurt other people just because they have a different opinion or because of petty things... that is very, very wrong."
"...Wrong? Wrong?!" the younger girl raised the volume again. "And you think what he was doing wasn't wrong too?!"
"T-That's... that's something—"
"Something called bullying and it's not a good thing," Hanabi interrupted, taking a deep breath to keep her frustration at bay. "I... didn't tell you about this last night, since it didn't have anything to do with me but... there was some confusion in our class four days ago or so. There's this boy whose nose is always running for some weird reason, and a few older kids decided to pick on him and call him names during break and after class. His best friend got hurt trying to defend him, and later on Iruka-sensei spoke about bullying."
"But this isn't l—"
"It is!" Hanabi cut her off, her voice trembling with worry. "Onee-sama... he made you cry!"
Hinata's hand went to her face. Though she had dried her hand before, it was wet once again. 'I didn't even notice...'
Hanabi closed the gap between them and embraced her, burying her face on Hinata's chest. "I'm sorry I didn't come in sooner... I-I heard him, but it took me too much time to truly understand what he was doing. I'm sorry!"
Smiling ruefully, Hinata wiped the tears away and hugged her back. "Don't worry... I'm fine; everything is fine."
They remained like that for a while, and Hinata knew that while she had her day free, her sibling did not.
"Hanabi, it's almost nine. You'll be late to your classes." The little girl whimpered in response as Hinata released her. "You don't want Natsu-san to come hunt you down, do you?"
"Ugh," Hanabi cringed. Her retainer was very strict when it came to punctuality. "Okay, I'll go... but, are you sure you're fine?"
"I'm sure." Hinata tried her best smile, but going from Hanabi's doubtful, still-worried look, she wasn't sure she succeeded.
Nonetheless, the younger girl managed to say her goodbyes and left Hinata to stare at a closed door after she left.
Finally alone, Hinata leaned against the wall near the door and let her body slowly slump to the floor.
"...What an amazing older sister you are."
To further damp her mood, perhaps literally, her eyes fell to her training equipment. In the heat of the moment she had failed to notice it, but she had knocked the bowls in her attempt to stop Hanabi. There was water all over the wooden floor, and some of it was dripping down to the ground. The bowls, at least, were still whole, but...
She groaned. It was official.
"I really should've slept in today."
By the time Hinata was done cleaning up her mess, she had lost most of her motivation to keep training. Or to do much of anything, really.
While half-heartedly debating whether to try reading her book or to check on her mother's garden again, as she had done right after breakfast, Hinata went back to her room to change out of her wet clothes.
She was not expecting to find her retainer about to knock on her door.
"Ko?"
The man turned. He was clad in the traditional clothes for a jonin in their village, like what Kakashi was usually seen with. He differed from the norm a little by wearing a bandanna with the village's forehead protector sewn in, hiding his short, brown hair from view.
"Ah, Hinata-sama. It has been a while," he greeted her with a smile.
She returned it, walking towards him. "It has. Um, what brings you here?" she asked. It wasn't odd for her to interact with Ko during the day, but he was never in mission clothes while doing so.
"Now that you are a genin and are starting to work on missions, Hiashi-sama allowed me to do the same provided our schedules match. Or at least come close to," he reminded her. Ko had essentially given up on being a normal shinobi in order to be her retainer, but now that she was under Kurenai's watch, his services weren't as necessary—she wondered if his salary went down because of it.
"I just reported my arrival to Hiashi-sama," Ko continued, "but he ordered me to escort you to him before I could do anything else. So here I am!" he laughed.
"...But I know where his office is?" she argued, confusion turning the sentence into a question.
"You see, Hias—oh. Perhaps you should change before we continue," he suggested, noticing her soaked sleeves.
He opened her room's door and stepped away.
"I-I'll be right back!"
"Here we are, Hinata-sama."
They were standing in front of the metal gates that led to the clan's cemetery.
"...You really weren't kidding," she mumbled in response. Ko had taken her outside the compound and through the surrounding area until they came to the border of the territory under command of the Hyuuga clan—informally known as the village's "Hyuuga district". While most Hyuuga lived in the compound, commerce and business were not allowed inside, so these buildings flourished around it instead.
"Hiashi-sama ordered me to wait for your return here," Ko said. Along the way, they had talked about each other's missions and Ko had been especially interested in hearing about Hinata's new friends, but that conversation would have to wait. "You remember how to get there?"
"Y-Yes."
"Good." Her shoulders betrayed her tension, Ko observed. "If we are lucky, Hiashi-sama won't accompany you back and we can continue our little chat," he offered with a brief laugh, which failed to lighten the mood.
It called for another approach. "Hinata-sama, he didn't look angry or disappointed. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
This time he got a little smile. "Thank you, Ko. Let's hope you're right."
Without further ado, she walked inside, leaving Ko to guard the cemetery's only entrance.
Once his charge was far enough, the man activated his Byakugan. Hinata and Hiashi were the only living people inside... with the exception of the grave keeper and his family, who had accepted their clan head's "suggestion" to have lunch out, earlier than normal, and were about to leave the place for at least a couple hours, likely headed to a fancy restaurant to spend the money Hiashi had presented them with.
Ko's job was to ensure father and daughter would be completely alone, but nothing stopped him from wondering.
"What could be so important that Hiashi-sama needs this much privacy..."
Hinata had been told all her life that the cursed seal that separated her clan in two disappeared upon death, in a process that dealt irreversible damage to the user's eyes, brain, and everything that was related to their unique bloodline in one fell swoop.
But it took her just a minute inside the graveyard to see that it was a farce. Those that were sealed no longer carried that mark in their corpses, but a divide was still there. There was nothing tangible that separated the graves of her clansmen from each other, no line, no gate... but the quality of the nearby gravestones spoke by itself, suddenly turning fancier and more elaborate as she approached the central area of the graveyard.
"You can't outrun fate," rung out inside her head. Whether it was because of her musings or because she saw a silhouette far ahead, she didn't know.
The very center of the graveyard was reserved for the Clan Heads and their families... and her father stood near one of the graves, with his back towards her.
She recognized it.
It was all a horrible blur, but Hinata still remembered the thick amethyst-colored stone slab that loomed over her mother's final resting place. Flower pots surrounded the grave, each with a different kind of flower that she could remember seeing in her mother's garden, creating a beautiful and colorful fence around it.
'Weird,' she thought. There was nothing wrong with the grave, but it was somewhat isolated from other graves in the same area.
Ignoring the oddity, she continued forward, making no effort to hide her approach. It did come as a surprise that Hiashi, who was right beside the grave, did not react until she was only a couple meters away.
"Ah, Hinata."
"...Oto—"
"No, please," he motioned for her to halt. "Not this time."
Hinata slowly straightened. 'So... this is how it's going to be.'
"I have much to tell you, Hinata. While I ask that you listen to what I have to say, please, don't keep any questions you might have for yourself. You will have many, I assure you, and you can't have any by the time we're done."
"O...kay?" she quirked an eyebrow.
Hiashi nodded. "I suppose it is better for me to begin with what I could not answer yesterday. Since you do not join the clan for breakfast," he said, without accusations, "you wouldn't know this, but I called for a brief meeting with the council right afterwards. I shared with them some of what you told me yesterday, and we've come to a new conclusion about your duel with Hanabi for the title of heiress."
'Okay... this is it.' Hinata thought, steeling herself.
"As of now, the duel will happen... five years from today."
"I see," Hinata nodded.
Hiashi calmly watched her process what he actually said.
"Wait, w-what?! D-d-don't you mean five days? Or five weeks?!"
"I do not. You heard correctly: five years."
She stopped to reflect on that—and to calm down. On one hand, wasn't that great? She'd have a lot more time to enjoy her freedom!
But...
"W-Why wait so long if everyone already knows how this will end? I-It doesn't make sense!"
Hiashi's gaze fell to the grave beside him. "Because I made a promise... to your mother."
Hinata kept staring at him and then at the grave, completely lost.
"You said everyone knows how this will end," Hiashi began, "but you don't. Tell me: what are you expecting to happen to the loser of this duel?"
"I-I will... um, she would need to marry someone powerful to benefit the clan, b-because she cannot be the heiress, but is still in an important enough position to achieve such a... er, feat?"
He raised an eyebrow at her choice of words.
"Under normal circumstances, you'd be right. The heirs—heiresses—in this case, can choose who they want to marry almost freely." Hinata's head tilted at the last word. "Siblings, however, have the duty to bring power to the clan through other means by marrying into important families and increasing our clan's reach and influence. But the rules have changed for you two. The loser will be... sealed."
Hinata caught it, in that last word. Hiashi wasn't doing a great job in hiding or blocking out his emotions anymore—It seeped through his posture, his voice, his eyes. She didn't know if he was letting go on purpose or if she was just too familiar with self-loathing and that particular brand of pain it came with to possibly miss it. However...
"Hiashi-sama... he sees your fate for what it is, and no longer cares."
Her head lowered and her fists clenched; Hinata didn't know what to believe in anymore. Somehow, she wasn't even surprised.
But she needed to hear it.
"How could you?" she choked out, straining to keep her voice flat. "Just... how could you do this to... to... us?"
"It was not my decision. It was the elders who pushed for it."
"B-But you are the clan head! They can't order you around... can they?"
For the first time, their eyes met and Hiashi was the one who looked away in shame.
"Only in extreme scenarios, where the entirety of the council disagrees with the clan head," he explained. "This is one of the council's purposes: to moderate the clan head's power and stop them from abusing it."
The thought gave her pause. "...Abusing it?"
"One of the clan head's duties is to ensure the heir is well-prepared to lead, from their childhood until the day they become the new head. And I..." Hiashi sighed, shaking his head. "Hinata, I will be frank and objective with you: I did not believe that you'd be a better candidate to lead the clan than your sister."
'...Well. That's news.' Having it spelled out for her didn't hurt as much as she had imagined.
"Because I was remiss in preparing you for the role and hadn't overseen as much of your training as I should've, the elders grew worried. Some of them believe you will not be a warrior worthy of leading our clan, others don't think you have the personality that they believe is "proper" for the station, and there are also some who think it's too late for you to start learning the intricacies of the job now that you are an on-duty kunoichi. In other words, all of them believe you are inadequate and that your sister is the better choice, hence why they pushed me to have you two duel for the title of heiress."
"...I'm sorry, I-I don't understand," Hinata confessed with a weak voice. It was no surprise that people didn't believe in her—most of the time, she was no different. It was also no surprise that they'd push for the duel assuming she'd lose to Hanabi. Those things she could understand, but...
"Why have this... ch-change of rules?" Her voice wavered and her head hung low, but not out of shame. 'Am I this much of an embarrassment to the clan? That... even my own grandfather would want to get rid of me like that?'
"I know it sounds like nonsense to resort to the seal," Hiashi replied, stoically. "Marriage to a clan as prestigious and influential as ours is something that many powerful families would be interested in, but whatever "value" one could have as a bride is lost with the seal. If the husband comes to care enough, the fact that we could kill his wife so easily and painfully would turn him into our puppet."
Hinata now understood the "almost" that confused her before. 'I wonder how many love stories this stupid seal has ruined...'
"On paper," Hiashi drew her attention again, "the council as a whole is only interested in making sure you cannot be the heiress, as simply losing the title to Hanabi doesn't take you out of the line of succession. They justified my abuse," he growled, fists clenching, "by arguing that you were both too unfit and too unprepared to risk you somehow managing to become clan head if something were to happen to your sister, and that keeping you as the heiress or a potential heiress for so long was irresponsible and an abuse of my powers.
"These debates about you being fit or not to lead were occasional occurrences in the council these past few years, but it wasn't until recently that all of the elders were convinced that denying you a chance of being the clan head was for the best, mostly thanks to your sister's fighting prowess."
Hinata couldn't fault that logic. While, yes, she had held back to variable degrees whenever she and Hanabi fought, she couldn't deny that her younger sister was extremely talented in the Gentle Fist and would be much stronger than herself if not for the age difference. She was sure she could beat Hanabi once if she really tried, but consistently? Not as much.
'And what does this have to do with mother?' she wondered, watching as Hiashi grew silent and gazed towards the grave once again. 'He said something about a promise before, too...'
It was almost as if Hiashi could hear her thoughts. "Your mother... she despised the caged bird seal and all that it entailed," he spoke without facing Hinata. "Before she died, she made me promise to not let you or Hanabi ever be sealed. I promised, thinking at the time that you two weren't in any such danger. If it wasn't just her paranoia... perhaps she had seen something I hadn't. But I suppose the cause doesn't matter—you share some of your mother's opinions and it shows," he raised his head to meet Hinata eye-to-eye. "I noticed that you try to treat those from the Branch house as if they are equals, with kindness. The problem... is that others have noticed that as well."
'...So what?' Hinata though.
Hiashi could see her indifference, her ignorance... her innocence. He held back a sigh.
"Hinata, have you ever wondered about your mother's parents?"
"Um... no," she said, frowning a bit. It was hard for her to keep up with the topic changing so often. "I was never told anything about my grandmother, and I just know my other grandfather died long before I was born."
Hiashi's stance shifted, eyes landing on a grave much farther than where they were. "Your maternal grandfather, in particular... he is the key for you to understand what is happening today." Hinata turned to follow him, but the man did nothing to point out which one in that sea of graves was the correct one. He just scowled in that direction.
"I don't know much about your maternal grandmother. I was only told that... she was not a Hyuuga from the Main family."
Hinata's eyes grew wide. "Huh? B-But you just said—"
"It's a different case," he cut her off. "Your grandfather lived outside of the compound, in a fancy, small mansion by the little park between our home and the marketplace, which he bought with money he made as a shinobi. Your grandmother was not his wife. No... she, and every single one of the Branch members that lived with him—all of them young women—were better described as his slaves."
His far-off glare somehow grew stronger; if not for her last mission, Hinata would've been trembling from the killing intent he released.
No, she trembled for another reason entirely.
"Your grandfather was a sick, twisted individual. He trapped his servants in his mansion and used the seal to force them to do anything he desired, or else he'd beat them up or torture them with the seal and threaten to do the same to their families. He specifically sought women that weren't trained as warriors so that they'd never be able to fight back or trap him, let alone manage to escape. And you mother... she was not a child born out of love."
Hinata, who was as blank as a sheet by then, didn't need to be told anything.
"Your grandfather wanted an heir, so he forced your grandmother to keep the child and didn't have Hikari sealed. That's not to say she escaped his control; she loved her mother very much, and he used that love to keep his daughter on a tight leash. But the bastard made one fatal mistake." Hiashi turned to his beloved's grave again, giving it—no, her—a smile of both sorrow and pride. "He sent her to the academy, to uphold the family tradition. Officially, he died fighting with his sole daughter against a thief who broke into their house, with one of the servants also dying in the cross-fire. But your mother told me the truth. She was but a few years older than you when she saw her father, drunk, beat her mother to death. It almost cost Hikari her life... but she killed him with her own two hands on that night."
As Hiashi fell into silence, Hinata hugged herself, shaking as she tried and failed to stop her fertile imagination from painting that tale—the suffering her mother and those women had endured—in her weak mind. To think, she had almost given up so many times for so much less...
Hinata had never wanted to hug her mother as strongly as she did in that moment.
"Hinata... please calm down," Hiashi pleaded uneasily, unsure of what he could do.
The girl looked up and offered a minute nod. She tried to numb her senses, focusing on nothing but her lungs for a few seconds.
Eventually, Hiashi decided to proceed. "I think you understand now just how badly our clan's seal can be misused. That it goes far beyond punishing a servant because he spilled water on you during breakfast, or for breaking an expensive vase while cleaning."
She nodded again.
"It was your mother that showed this truth to me. Because she, like yourself, was so openly in favor of the Branch and against the seal, many in the Main house feared that she would influence me after I began to court her. Your grandfather was an extreme case, but he is not the only one to abuse the seal's powers. Our engagement was... turbulent, for a lack of better word."
"Turbulent?" Hinata echoed, but Hiashi shook his head.
"I never tried to modify the status quo of our clan significantly; as far as they know, she couldn't make my opinion change too much. Truth is, I tried to look for a way to fix this, but I couldn't find any fuuinjutsu specialists skilled enough to make a seal better than the one we have, so it was futile to bring it up to the council. I'd also need to find a way of safely erasing the current seals, which from what I gather would be even harder."
His eyes then darted around until they landed on a grave far, far away from where Hikari's was. If the inner-most part of the cemetery was for the clan head's family... then that grave was a glaring exception.
'If I had looked harder... would it have changed anything?'
Hiashi never saw Hinata's eyes sparkling as everything began to fit together. It was such a ridiculous notion, but nothing else made sense to her.
"They... fear me. They fear me, right?" she repeated, bringing Hiashi's gaze to herself again. "They think that if I become the Clan Head, that I'll try to get rid of the seal. They don't want—no, they can't risk that happening! ...Right?"
Hiashi almost allowed a small smile to show, if not for the topic at hand.
"For some members of the council and other nobles of our clan, it's too big a risk. But I won't lie—even I am not comfortable with uniting our clan just yet. There's still too much bad blood between us, and if you consider that the majority of our clan is from the Branch and that very few people in the Main house are ninja... it's a tricky situation that needs to be handled very carefully lest it sparks a tragedy."
Hinata scowled. 'I guess it's a good thing I don't have any power... I never thought of this.'
"Regardless," Hiashi went on, "you already made your stance over the matter too clear for them. You'd either lose to your sister and become unable to change anything... or your sister gets the seal, and if you come too close to that goal, Hanabi pays the price."
Hinata had an objection. "But nobody knows me and Hanabi are close—ah!"
Seeing his daughter's hands flying to futilely cover her mouth, as if she had said a secret he wasn't supposed to know... Hiashi couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her expense.
The girl blanched. "Y-Y-You knew...!"
He scoffed mid-laugh. "Of course I knew."
He didn't seem mad at least, which made Hinata relax a bit, but she still felt foolish. 'I thought we hid it so well... no, wait. Could it be?'
There were only two other people who were supposed to know she and Hanabi had a bond.
"Did Ko or Natsu tell you?"
"Fret not, Hinata," he shook his head, still amused. "Your retainers are supposed to report to me, but you two earned their loyalty. I just had my suspicions. Your grandfather never allowed me—or himself—to get too close to my brother Hizashi for this very reason, but I was too young to understand that and I often sneaked away to play with him. My retainer, too, always covered for us..."
Hinata felt like trash for doubting them. "I-I see..."
"I doubt anyone else would know—they are not even considering you might win. Regardless, we've strayed off-topic," Hiashi cleared his throat. "I believe you now have a good grasp on everything that led us to your duel with Hanabi, correct?"
"Hmm..."
The girl hesitated for a few moments, mentally reviewing what she knew just in case. It was rather convenient for Hiashi, who took the time to steel himself until Hinata eventually nodded.
"These past couple weeks while you were away, I... was trying to accept that I had failed. That I could do nothing but watch... and yet," Hiashi unfurled something from inside his robe, "all of that changed with this."
Hinata easily recognized the item. "The report I brought you yesterday...?"
"Do you remember how I told you that certain members of the council were against letting you succeed me because of your lack of skill?"
The bluntness made her wince. "Y-Yes."
"This report was key in convincing these specific elders such as your grandfather to reconsider. Hinata, you've been trying to use a special taijutsu style that is incompatible with your body. It is only natural that you achieved no more than mediocrity... and this is how I managed to bargain for an extra five years. As my firstborn, you deserve to be given a fair chance at proving yourself."
She frowned, which Hiashi failed to see as her head was low and her bangs hid it.
"With this much time," he continued obliviously, "we can investigate what effect your Water affinity truly has on the Gentle Fist and modify the style to suit what you are capable of. We also have the time to develop new jutsu, as I don't think your body will be able to handle certain advanced techniques such as the Rotation. At least not anytime soon."
For a brief moment, Hinata found herself at a crossroad. Her heart needed her to press a certain statement Hiashi made, but her brain dictated there was something more important for her to ask.
In the end, she had to go with logic first.
"I don't see the point. I-It's not like this will change the result... your promise, I mean."
"Ah, your training? No, it will not. But it offers us more time to seek a way out."
She looked up. Stalling tactics were not what she expected from her father. "So... t-there's no plan?"
"A concrete one we can rely on?" he shook his head, sighing inaudibly. "No, this is just a gamble. We don't know anything about how or even if your Water affinity will bring enough differences to justify five years of training. I don't like it, but we lack any other option. There are, however, two things we can try."
One was obvious to Hinata. "Finding a way around the seal is the first, right?"
"Exactly. I haven't had success, but I admit I had stopped looking until very recently. You can also try to search on your own, Hinata, such as during missions outside of Konoha or when you go to another village during a chunin exam. As for the second option..."
The way Hiashi looked at her made Hinata have no doubts: she was not going to like it.
"A marriage contract." He held his hand when her mouth opened. "I know. I said the rules had changed, but keep in mind that you are too young for the clan to search for a husband. With five years, Hinata... you could find a husband for yourself before we hit the deadline."
She almost choked. 'Is he serious?!'
Hiashi chose to ignore her shock. "If the clan were to search, we'd aim for someone that we benefit from but is less powerful than the Hyuuga, to incorporate them into the clan. But nothing stops you from giving up on being a potential heiress if you were to marry someone that holds more or equal power than us. In that case you'd be incorporated into their family instead of remaining a Hyuuga, and would not be in danger anymore."
'He actually is serious!' she realized with dread. 'There's no way I can find a husband on my own, let alone someone who can get me out of this mess!'
She had to make it clear to him before he got his hopes up. "I-I-I'm not sure you understand what you're asking of me..."
"It can be easier than you imagine, Hinata," Hiashi insisted, hoping to calm her. "Your team, for example: the Aburame clan is one of the village's four noble clans like the Hyuuga. The Inuzuka clan isn't as prestigious but it can work, though your other teammate is not the current heir so he is not a safe choice."
"There's no way I can do that!" she blurted out, face scrunched up in revulsion. "T-They are like brothers to me!"
"Hmm... feelings can change, Hinata. But in this case, does this not mean they'd be acceptable people for you to spend your life with? If they feel like you do, perhaps they'd be open to the possibility of marrying just on paper, to help you. You could always divorce later, once it's safer."
The girl frowned and found a sudden interest in one of the nearby flower pots by Hikari's grave. She mumbled something Hiashi couldn't decipher, but he got the message and moved on.
"The Hokage's project you're part of also gives us other candidates. The Uchiha, Akimichi and Nara clans heirs are all enlisted. You'd have ample time and the opportunity to get to know them."
Hinata almost entirely dismissed that idea. 'I can't betray Sakura like that—not that I think I could manage to bond with Sasuke-san like that anyway. Shikamaru-san is completely and absolutely out of question. I don't know Choji-kun very well, but... hmm. I think he could actually work. As long as he keeps his hands away from my cinnamon rolls, that is.'
"These are the easiest options for you," Hiashi kept going. "Here in Konoha, there aren't any male clan heirs of your age remaining... your only other choices would be people from outside. For example, if you manage to meet a clan heir of another village or a high-ranking politician or businessman during missions and they become interested, it's an option we have. You... must keep an open mind, Hinata," he added with unease, seeing her poorly masked discontentment.
'My feelings are not the problem here,' she thought, eyes trained on a pot of purple sunflowers.
"...Nonetheless," Hiashi cleared his throat, "don't worry yourself with that right now. That's our last resort, and we won't have the chance to use it if you don't focus on your training."
The girl looked up, puzzled for but a moment. "Ah... I see. They will call it off if I don't show results."
Hiashi nodded approvingly. "Between missions and the Hokage's project, you will be busier than the average genin... and I'm afraid it won't end there. As I mentioned, I haven't taught you anything about politics, war or the management of our clan's businesses. Hanabi is at an age I can begin to teach her, and I want you to learn from me as well."
Hinata's eyes squinted slightly, as if trying to find something in Hiashi's face. 'He wouldn't... would he?'
"Thanks to this, Hinata, I'm sure you will have some leniency for at least the rest of the year. But if you cannot show any meaningful results with this new style..."
"Then I'll ultimately get sealed... and... and..."
She looked away.
"And?"
"...And so what?"
The folder in Hiashi's hands fell to the ground, crushing a leaf that was as dead as the girl's tone had been.
"Co... come again?"
If Hinata was surprised her father stuttered, she didn't show it.
"So what if I lose and get sealed?"
She motioned to the grave, all while almost glaring at him.
"My m-mother... is dead. So why are you going so far j-just for a promise? Even after what I told you? You... you have no obligation to the child of a-another man."
"...Another man?" Hiashi stared back at her, baffled. "What are you talking about?"
Hinata soon mirrored his expression. "Y-You mean you didn't figure it out yet?!"
"Hinata, what are you talking about?" he repeated, firmly.
She began to fidget. "I... I... m-my affinity."
The idea of having to spell it out for him made her hesitate, but that was just enough information for Hiashi to catch on.
"You mean to say you can't be my daughter because your affinity isn't Lightning?"
In a most contradictory mix of dread and relief, the girl nodded.
"So you have forgotten. Well, I suppose you were too young..."
'Huh?'
Hinata almost managed to blurt out a question, but Hiashi turned his back on her before she could. He then began to gather his hair into a bunch with one hand, and raised it. With the other, he pulled the back of his collar a bit and pointed to a spot on his nape.
"Do you recognize something?"
Hinata came closer and stood on her tiptoes. Her eyes easily found a small patch of light brown skin, shaped like a pear. It was no bigger than her pinky's nail.
"Huh... Hanabi-chan has a birthmark there, just like this one. Um, but what of it?"
When Hiashi faced her again, it was with the blankest of stares.
She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. "...Oh."
"This birthmark has been on my side of the family for generations, and you, Hinata, have it as well. That, and I know your mother would've never betrayed me. You are my daughter. There is no other possibility and there never was."
Watching as the girl's hand dug inside her coat to touch where she thought the birthmark was, Hiashi was left to amend that statement in his mind. 'I suppose it's theoretically possible she could be Hizashi's daughter,' he thought as he bent to recover the folder. 'Not a possibility worth considering.'
Soon, Hinata realized the futility of trying to find a birthmark with her fingers and instead buried her face in her hands in hopes of muffling a growl of frustration. 'I can't believe I worried so much over absolutely nothing! Twice!'
Hiashi felt her anger in the air and winced. "I... I apologize. I suppose my reaction to your affinity being Water mislead you."
She didn't look at him. 'No, you think?'
"The possibility never even crossed my mind. It's just that... once I connected the dots about your affinity how that could have an impact on the Gentle Fist, this idea of buying you more time formed in my mind almost all at once. It... just seemed too good to be true."
Hiashi then began to speak about how he spent the previous night researching things and actually had a theory about why her affinity could be different, but Hinata only barely heard it.
At first, it was just raw frustration that didn't allow her to focus, but then her mind latched on to what he had said.
'...Too good to be true?'
It was almost funny. Whatever he meant, she realized those words had a meaning for her as well.
She realized that Hiashi being her father changed nothing.
"Y-You didn't answer me," she accused once he finished, eyes down and fists curled. She had tried not to, but her tone was unsubtly hostile.
Hiashi remembered her questions perfectly. "...I'm afraid I don't understand," he said while placing the report folder inside his robe's inner pocket.
"So what if I lose and get sealed?" she repeated her first question. Instead of doing the same for the second, Hinata chose to reword it. "Why... all of a sudden, w-why do you even care about what happens to me?! I-I don't... It can't be just a promise."
Though afraid of what she'd see, Hinata dared to meet her father's eyes. Her vision was blurring, but he was unmistakably looking at her in the same way she had seen him look at Hikari's grave. It became clearer and clearer as he closed the gap between them.
'No more running away,' Hiashi decided.
His approach made Hinata feel like a deer who was being stalked by a lion.
"You're right. It's not just the promise," he said, in a gentle voice Hinata hadn't heard in years.
He lowered himself to one knee, to her level. His eyes, no longer able to stand to see her turmoil while knowing it was his fault, closed so that he could center himself. Only after a deep breath in the darkness that they opened again.
"You, Hinata, are my daughter. I can't let something as horrible as that happen to you. If you still need an answer to that question..."
Hiashi's right hand rose, and he found the courage to do something he had never done since Hikari's death.
"...It's because I love you.
Smiling, and with all the care of someone handling the frailest of jewels, he stroked his daughter's cheek, like he had once done every single day, right after giving her a goodnight kiss.
Hinata trembled under her father's gentle touch. Her heart was working twice as hard; as far as she knew, her lungs were not working at all.
Hiashi could feel a warm, wet trail travel down his hand.
With an involuntary sniff, she found the air again. And with it, as weak as it was, her voice.
"Can... c-can y-you say that again?"
Her eyes, wide, bloodshot, sparkling. They pleaded with him. They begged him to confirm it.
His smile broadened. How could he deny her again?
"Hinata, you're my daughter. I love you..."
Where he once saw lavender eyes, he then saw only blue hair as she lowered her head. He couldn't see her tears, but he still felt them.
It was not the first time he caught her crying knowing it was his fault. But for the first time in years... Hiashi knew he could comfort her.
His arms moved to pull her closer to his chest, to prove his words to her. He knew she doubted him, but for one moment, he felt bliss.
Because for one moment, he saw Hinata coming towards him out of her own volition... and so closed his eyes.
He heard her voice.
"You... you...!"
The next moment, his body was at gravity's mercy until it smashed against hard plastic, earth, and then stone. His back hit the latter just in the right angle to take his breath away, adding to the pain in his skull from crashing against the grave.
"YOU LIAR!"
She had pushed him away with all her strength.
"Y-You think I'm stupid... right?!"
His eyes shot open and the first thing he saw was the sky, and then Hinata by his feet. Her figure was becoming smaller as her feet carried her backward, but he could see her face perfectly.
A furious red stained with tears.
"For a second, I almost believed you," she said in a dangerously low voice, but surprising both of them, she then began to laugh. "I-It would've been so easy! Ever since mother died, I've been wanting this... waiting for this. But... I know better! I know you're lying!"
Hiashi tried to call her name, but all he could do was gasp for breath. Where his voice failed, his limbs did not. One hand grasped the stone of Hikari's grave, the other found support on the ground, crushing a mortally wounded violet as he began to rise from the wreckage of flower pots.
The girl saw, in his eyes, that for once it was he the one out of the loop in their little chat. She gladly enlightened him.
"I was there," she sniffed. "B-behind the door. I-I was there, when Kurenai-sensei first came to our home."
Hiashi stumbled. 'No... no!'
"You were so... so busy training my sister that you didn't even hear or n-notice. But I was there. I heard it all!"
Despair flashed in Hiashi's wide eyes, and Hinata saw it. It made her certain that she was right.
"I heard when... when you... told her the clan didn't need me." She hiccuped, but continued between sniffs and tears. "T-that I was useless... that my presence was... inconvenient."
More and more tears fell from Hinata's eyes, forcing her to wipe them in order to see anything.
"After that... after all these years... you now want me to believe you love me?!"
Hiashi crammed as much air in his wounded lungs as he could. "Hi... nata...!"
She ignored him.
"I don't know... I don't know what you truly need me for. What kind of scheme you could possibly need my loyalty for. But I won't do it," she declared, glaring tearfully at her father with such fierceness she could've melted steel. "I refuse to help you!"
"Hinata, lis—!"
"I REFUSE!"
Her screech echoed across the graveyard, and she bolted.
"Wait! Hinata!"
Seeing his daughter's figure fading from his vision, Hiashi rose and cursed under his ragged breath while activating his Byakugan.
He made a "stop" motion in a seemingly random direction... and Ko, who had already started to run from the cemetery's entrance towards Hinata, reluctantly halted
But Hinata did not. She didn't know where she was running to; she couldn't see where she was running to, but she ran. She ran as fast as her legs could take her, breathing heavily, desperate to flee what her mind perceived as danger.
On the back of her mind, she knew it was a betrayal of the resolve she found in Wave, but she didn't care.
She needed to get away.
That single directive erased all other thoughts from her brain, such as how she could've guided herself out of that place with her Byakugan.
...Or that she was fleeing from a jonin.
"Unngh! No!"
Two strong arms looped beneath her own and hoisted her up.
"Hinata, stop!"
She thrashed against her father's hold, screaming: "Let me go!"
In a motion Hinata's mind couldn't keep up with, Hiashi flipped her and switched his hold so that she'd face him. Her feet barely touched the ground, his hands gripped her by the elbow in a way that she'd be too far to headbutt or kick him.
"Please! Please listen! This is a misunderstanding!"
He was dirty and begging. Yet her mind couldn't see it as anything but a farce.
"Let me explain!"
Hiashi was a good actor, she thought. His mask despair was very convincing... but two could play that game.
Though she refused to let anything but fury and tears come from her eyes, she stilled as best as she could with her lungs on overdrive. Hiashi didn't release her nor did she expect him to, however... she had fooled a jonin once, and his Byakugan wasn't on anymore.
Just as she made the decision to gather chakra into her elbows... an unnaturally cold wind blew through the cemetery.
For Hiashi, that meant his dirty hair flew all over his face. For the girl he held...
"Please, Hinata! Please... give him one chance!"
In spite of her thick clothing, the cold froze her to the bones.
Perhaps it was her conscience, reminding her of the revelation about understanding. Or... maybe their fight had disturbed her mother's resting soul so deeply that Hikari managed to intervene in the world of the living somehow.
"Please, Hinata...!" Hiashi insisted.
...The fire left her eyes.
"O-One chance," she croaked as Hiashi lowered her to the ground, wiping her face once her arms were free.
"Very well," he smiled, visibly relieved. "What I have to tell you... needs to be in her presence."
Hinata nodded.
Seconds later, the pair stepped out of a gust of leaves, standing in front of Hikari Hyuuga once more.
Hinata gasped once she saw how so much of the beautiful decoration around her mother's grave was in shambles. Slowly, as her legs took her to the mess of earth, flowers and the pot's black plastic, it sunk in what she had done.
"I hope she can forgive me..." she mumbled, crouching to examine a pair of lilies which had been torn apart.
"She'd know you weren't at fault."
When Hinata rose and turned to face Hiashi, she almost stumbled backwards. Without being blinded by suspicions, without her cousin's venomous words ringing in her ears... she easily recognized his expression as genuine. She had seen it far too many times in her bathroom's mirror to mistake it.
The face of someone crumbling under the weight of their failures.
"Most emotions," Hiashi began, "don't come easily to me. In my childhood they had, because of your late uncle, but it didn't take long for my responsibilities and status as the clan head's heir to strain my relationship with him. And this might surprise you," he chuckled in self-deprecation, "but my father regarded me as a failure when I was younger, too. I was great with the Gentle Fist, but I wasn't a genius. I wasn't enough for him... so, I allowed training, missions, war and the clan to consume me as I tried to become what was expected of me. One day I succeeded and... it felt hollow. My father finally approved of me, but still kept his distance like he had always done and still does. I knew something was missing... just not what."
Hinata could guess where he was going. "And then you met my mother."
Hiashi smiled as he nodded, and Hinata's eyebrows shot up when she noticed the unshed tears that made his white eyes shine.
"True to her name... Hikari was my light. Your mother taught me what the word happiness meant; that there was so much more to life than tirelessly working for the clan's sake. I began to see a warm meal as more than just sustenance, flowers as more than decoration, the places I saw outside of the village as more than battlegrounds, training as more than exercise... she taught me so much," he sighed wistfully, still smiling. "Your mother supported me every time I thought the pressures of being a clan head would finally get to me. I was never good at knowing when I was overworking myself, but she could always tell. She pushed me to reconnect with my brother, and even though she and my father hated each other's guts, your mother still tried to help me with him. From the little things to the bigger problems... she brought color to my world, Hinata."
'Heh... that was unexpectedly sweet,' Hinata thought, smiling beyond herself. 'And a little too well-constructed, too,' she added, wondering if perhaps her father had proposed with those words.
"And perhaps most importantly of all," Hiashi continued, "she brought life to my world, and gave me two wonderful, beautiful daughters. My father had given me an example of how to raise an heir, but not a child. When you came to this world, I was just so lost!" he laughed... bitterly. "Your mother made me believe I could be a good father... and she was the only reason I managed to keep going after your uncle died. She was my pillar and... without her to keep me standing I... I—!"
Hinata couldn't look at her father anymore. It was hard for the girl to keep herself from crying after listening to that story... but she felt that if it was not her father, someone had to remain whole.
"...It was if I had died with her... but I didn't. I knew I had to continue... for you, your sister, and the clan. But I... was weak. It was so much easier to just drown myself in my work and forget it all. It hurt so much to feel that I chose to forget it again, as if your mother had never changed anything in my life. Hanabi was easy to hand off to her retainer—she was a toddler and I couldn't give her the care she needed. And you, Hinata... I couldn't even look at you!"
Hinata gasped, and not from the pain of hearing those words. It was from witnessing the strong, proud, powerful Hiashi Hyuuga sinking to his knees, with dirt all over his clothes... drowning in his guilt and shame, and tears—his hand blocked her from seeing his eyes, but his quaking shoulder betrayed it.
"Your hair, your eyes... the shape of your face, your gentleness, sometimes even the way you speak! It all reminded me so much of your mother that I... I couldn't stand to interact with you! I love you so much, my daughter... but you made me feel all of that horrible pain again that in my weakness, I chose to run from you. But you were mourning too, and hurt and confused... naturally, you sought your father. I'm sure you remember how well that went."
He laughed bitterly for a moment and then went silent, but Hinata spoke up before he could gather strength to keep going.
"I do. I remember perfectly."
Hinata knew she should've given him the time to recompose, but the words began to tumble out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
"You almost never spent any time eating with us... y-you handed my training to various other instructors, and I always thought it was because I wasn't worth it."
A sob racked her body, but Hinata tried to remain firm.
"Because I was too weak to learn from you. B-Because I was a failure... and you...!"
She really did!
"Y-You told me that! It took years before I c-could train with you... I thought I had been improving! B-but you..."
"I crushed what little confidence you had managed to find. I know."
But it was so much stronger than her...
"I thought you hated me! For so long, I thought... I thought..."
"They say, Hinata," he found the strength to interrupt her, "that the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. We learn from our parents how to teach our children. What I learned from my father... was that hate could be an incredible motivator."
Her jaw fell. 'No... no, you can't mean...!'
He offered her such a pathetic smile. "When I was younger, I hated my father. That hate and my desire to prove myself were the only things that drove me forward for so many years... and it worked. Once I... recovered enough to handle being around you, I tried to repeat what had worked for me. I was so stupid...!" His fist pounded the ground. "The only thing I managed during all those months I spent with you was crushing what little confidence you had gained..."
He didn't have the heart to tell her she had actually regressed under his tutelage. It was his fault, but Hiashi knew she wouldn't accept that.
"Once I finally realized how wrong I was, I felt that it might've been better for you to have someone who could help you grow emotionally before you could progress in other areas. Someone capable of healing the damage I had done over the years. And that is when I began to... scheme, as you put it."
Hinata wiped her face and tried to keep her breathing under control. 'Focus, Hinata.'
"I told your sensei she had been chosen by chance, merely because she had been available. That... was a lie. I asked Hokage-sama for help and in finding someone fitting, but even though he had assured me she was the best person for the job... I kept too much from him. I needed to be certain that she could aid you, and that's why I told her everything you overheard that day."
The logic train braked and threw Hinata out of the window, leaving her with a headache. "...I-I'm sorry, but what?"
"Those words were carefully planned to convey to her the environment you grew up in and how I... raised you. Damaged you. If she could sympathize or hopefully empathize with you... that would ensure she'd be driven by much more than just her salary. She'd begin to genuinely care for you. That and," he chuckled without humor, "I thought perhaps spiting me would help."
"She hates you."
He didn't flinch at her coldness. "...I presumed as much."
Hiashi heard her footsteps. Though shame threatened to overwhelm him, though it still hurt to see so much of Hikari in Hinata... he looked up to face his judgment.
But she still had one last question.
"Why have you never said anything?"
Such an easy question, he thought.
"Because I am a coward. I was too afraid to feel... and then, I was too afraid to try. I thought I had lost my chance to be the father your mother had believed I could be, that I had hurt you enough and would only make everything worse if I tried. I kept Hanabi away because I was too afraid to make the same mistakes twice... because... because I am nothing but a failure..."
He crumbled. Throwing the last of his pride away, Hiashi allowed his forehead to meet the ground, staining it with his tears.
"I failed... you, your mother, your sister... but when I saw what could've been my last chance to makes things right, to repair the damage I had done... as uncertain as it was, I had to take it! But I knew I couldn't do this alone. Not anymore..."
He saw her feet.
"And so you came to me."
"Yes... that's the truth." He saw her knees. "I'm sorry... but that's the truth."
The only thing Hiashi could manage after that were ragged breaths, but that was fine. He had no more to speak... the only thing left to do was wait for his sentence.
And wait he did. The silence almost made him go mad, but Hinata found her answer eventually.
"Congratulations," she began in a wavering, wounded tone. "Y-You did it..."
He felt his daughter's small hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him up until he, like her, was only kneeling. But he kept his eyes on the ground.
"Until today... no. Not until today," she sniffed, shaking her head. "I think I've always tried to hold it back... to repress it. I didn't want to believe it but now... n-now I can say for sure."
She came closer, walking with her knees. When he dared to look in her eyes, he found that he couldn't—Hinata became a blur.
And she hugged him, with all her strength.
"I hate you..." she whispered. "I hate you. I hate you! I hate you!"
Her words tore Hiashi apart, but he didn't hesitate in pulling her even closer, burying his face in her hair and hers on his chest.
"You knew how much it hurt!"
She just cried harder.
"You went through what I went and you did it to me anyways!"
"I'm sorry..." he whispered, over and over again.
"I hate you so much! But... still...!"
"No. No...I deserve it, all of it. For never being a true father to you..."
She sniffed and pulled back, shaking her head. "Y-You were... w-when mother was alive, you were. And now! If you hadn't done anything, right now I... I..."
"I was almost too late."
"I don't care! Even after all of this... I hate you, but I don't! I still...!"
She choked on those words. Her heart was hurting too much to allow her to say it, but Hiashi understood—not hearing it was a fitting punishment.
And this time, knowing he wouldn't be pushed away, he brought her closer.
Hinata didn't resist.
Neither knew how much time they spent there on the ground, crying in each other's arms, falling apart under so many different and conflicting emotions. Perhaps minutes, perhaps hours, perhaps just a few seconds... for both of them, it felt like an eternity.
But eventually, the tears ceased to flow. Their breathing and heartbeats calmed, and Hiashi broke their silence.
"...Thank you, Hinata. For giving me this chance."
Sluggishly, she disentangled herself from him.
"Don't misunderstand," she warned, weakly. "I... can't forgive you. Not now... not yet."
She felt horrible, as one part of her wanted to forgive him, and another made her feel like an ungrateful, spoiled child for making such a fuss in front of the grave of someone who had endured a much harsher childhood.
But she couldn't find it in herself to forgive him yet. Her heart was still bleeding too much for that.
"I understand." Hiashi's hand brushed near her puffy eyelids and her cheeks, drying what remained of her tears. "I never expected you to. That you actually listened... that is enough for me. I can't ask for more."
...As much as it hurt, she couldn't help her smile.
"I listened. And... I swear," she rose. "I'll do what you asked. I'll search for someone who can deal with the seal while outside the village and I will... consider our second option. But more importantly, I won't let this time you bought me go to waste."
And Hiashi, too, smiled despite the pain. Seeing Hinata's lavender eyes blazing with determination... she had never resembled her mother more than in that one moment.
"I'll do what I can to assist you," he promised. "Once you have more mastery over your affinity, I'll help you reserch its effects on our taijutsu."
She nodded quickly. "O-On that note... if you'll excuse me, I should go back to training."
"No." Hiashi got up, under his pained back's protests. "Hinata, you're in no state to be training."
"But I—"
"You look drained, my daughter. I'm not sure you can see it, but our conversation took a toll on you... if you train right now, you'll not accomplish much. Knowing when to stop is a valuable skill to learn," he advised.
'I must look like a mess right now,' Hinata sighed, nodding reluctantly. 'I do feel tired, though.'
She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Go home. Take a bath, eat something and rest at least for the afternoon." His gaze shifted to the grave behind her, and he smiled fondly at it. "Your mother used to kick me out of my office and lock it up whenever she thought I was overworking myself... she could be quite scary when mad. You wouldn't want to upset her, would you?"
"No," Hinata laughed weakly. "I... will take it easy today."
He nodded. "I promise you that starting tomorrow, you can make up for the lost time by training with me and Hanabi in the afternoons. That is... if you want to."
"...I'd love to," she said, offering him a radiant smile. "Whenever I don't have a mission."
"Excellent," Hiashi nodded. Though the tug on his lips was new, she still recognized it as a dismissal nod.
"I'll be going then... father."
Hinata then walked away, leaving that one word to warm Hiashi's heart and not only remind him he didn't deserve the title or her respect... but that now he had a chance to earn them.
Though he still had duties as the clan head, he lingered in the graveyard. Someone needed to fix the mess he had made—which would at least explain the brown stains in his clothes if anyone asked.
But more importantly... there was still one more person he had to apologize to.
Hinata stretched in her chair as a yawn took over. It was quite unsightly, as she felt no need to cover her wide-open mouth in the privacy of her dark room.
She wasn't alone, though. The small bundle of covers and brown hair on her bed betrayed Hanabi's presence, and the soft snoring was incontestable evidence the younger girl was in a deep sleep... as Hinata should've been, if she hadn't followed her father's advice a bit too well and pushed the definition of "afternoon nap" to its limit.
In contrast to the previous night, Hinata had been too engrossed in her novel to sleep. Hanabi crashed at nine as she always did, but since Hinata was too awake, she had opened her window curtains slightly to leave her room less dark and went to read her recently-bought novel.
It was a bit of a struggle to read with nothing besides the night's "light" to aid her. She would've used her desk lamp, but it was a bit too bright for her to risk awakening Hanabi, so she soldiered on until enough time passed and the moon shone over the uncovered side of her window, bringing light.
Now that she was finally considering sleep again—though not before setting her alarm to Hanabi's awakening time instead of her usual—Hinata went to close her curtains but stopped, briefly to admire the night sky.
It was cloudless and filled to the brim with stars. That would've made for a beautiful image by itself, but like always, it was the moon who was the most eye catching figure in that painting. Big, round and shiny... a classic full moon.
Or so Hinata thought until she squinted her eyes and examined it a little closer.
The shape wasn't round. It was easy to miss, but the moon was beginning to wane... a thought that had always saddened her a bit.
"The moon isn't going to hide, Hinata-sama," she remembered Ko laughing as he explained it to her younger self. "You see, the moon has no light of its own, it only reflects the sun's. So when it's between our planet and the sun, it doesn't appear in the sky because there is no light to reflect. That's called a new moon..."
Hinata had always identified with the moon from that point forward. A being without light, whose occasional shine was merely a reflection of someone else... and that, if it didn't have anyone to help it, was invisible to the world, despite its silence presence.
In a way, wasn't that her namesake? To the world... wasn't the moon but "a place in the sun"?
Still, despite the depressive note, she liked the moon. Even if she knew she was nowhere as beautiful or graceful as the real thing, being a moon had never bothered her... until that moment.
When she told herself that she would make her father proud, she was trying to reflect his light, the light of an accomplished fighter and leader.
When she told herself that she wouldn't give up on her training, she was trying to reflect Naruto's light. A light that kept shining no matter what tried to turn it dark.
When she told herself that she would be moving out of her comfort zone, she was accepting to reflect the light of her friends and teammates. The light of people who thought she could be like themselves, if only they gave her a little nudge.
When she told herself that she would accept losing her title for Hanabi's sake, she was allowing her sister's light to reflect on her, to show everyone which light was the sun they needed to be looking out for.
But now... being a moon was no longer acceptable. Not after all that Hiashi had shared with her.
'Father would be saddened, but it's nothing but my own life on the line. There's no light for me to reflect...'
She needed her own light, not someone else's.
And when her eyes moved away from the moon, she knew exactly what she needed to be.
Not a moon... but a star.
Stars had their own light. From her perspective, they were so small... but they could shine without anyone's help, by their own merits. That's what mattered!
After all, if she were like the moon... she would drown in the darkness whenever there was no light source to keep her bright, just like the moon she had been admiring would in a few days.
That was no longer a possibility.
'From tomorrow onward,' she decided, 'I'll be doing this for me! Not for Hanabi, not for Naruto, not for my team or my friends... not for my father or mother.'
And with that simple thought in her mind, she looked back at the moon. Borrowed light or not... she still liked the moon, and she offered it one last smile before closing her curtains.
It would be hard, but Hinata hoped that one day, even if she wasn't as bright as a sun, even if she was but a small dot in the night sky... she'd shine with her own light too.
A/N
This... was very hard to write. Very hard. I'm sure it was hard to read as well because of the emotional charge and the exposition woven in, but I hope you all enjoyed it! I wouldn't be able to do it without SimplePotato's help... cheers for him!
So! Between Neji's introduction, Hikari's past, the subversion of the "evil hive-mind council" trope fanon usually runs with, Hiashi's political gambit and his heavy heart-to-heart with Hinata, I'm sure there's lots to talk about, so please review! There are actually many things that didn't make the cut here and might—or not—show up in future Hyuuga-centric interactions, so feel free to ask if anything piqued your curiosity! (A bit of what led to the death of Hikari's father, in particular, pained me to cut... but it really didn't fit anywhere.)
Nonetheless! I'll be waiting to hear from you guys! Especially since... you won't be hearing from me for a while as I won't work on Chapter 21 anytime soon. I'll be taking the time off to work on a couple other projects while I don't have college, like searching for a job... but also, I'll be going back and revising past chapters.
I didn't actually get to do much last time I mentioned doing something like this, but I'll be taking a good, hard look at all that happened thus far to fix or improve anything that needs more polish, and focus in making earlier portrayals of characters more consistent. I'll also be trimming whatever content is not relevant to the fic anymore, especially in for Author Notes. I've gone past 300K words with this, but in reality, a good chunk is these notes (I'd wager at least 10%...)
Some stuff will be relocated to my profile, others will be cut entirely, and I'll be doing this to every A/N whenever I post each new update. (So these paragraphs will be cut when c21 goes live, for example)
I won't be doing anything besides mental planning for Chapter 21 until all past chapters are revised. This is important not only for making the story better as a whole, but because I'll be cross-posting it on AO3 after this, and will advertise it (properly) on Reddit as well. If anyone is curious, I'll try to leave a note about how far I am into the edition progress ("Chapter's edited: X/20" or something)
But I won't forget about continuing, and I hope you guys won't forget about me either and will drop a review for this one!
Next chapter, we are skipping a few months... except we aren't?! Hmm... mystery! But I'll throw you all a bone: you can look forward to Naruto+Hinata+Ramem!
Thanks for reading thus far, and please... hearing from you guys is awesome, so if nobody minds I'll unsubtly beg for reviews again! #pleasefeedme!
Guest Review Answers!
Guest (02/07/17): Thank you very much!
Anya: Well, your C19 review requires no answer if you read the chapter. The C18 one, yeah. But sometimes we all doubt ourselves, don't we? It makes more sense from a "bigger picture" perspective and from a "Hinata" perspective, but Hiruzen at that moment was looking at it with a "Naruto" perspective, which made the decision not seem as good for a moment.