Kanan winces as he walks up the stairs, as much for the cold air hitting his wet skin as from his own mental chastisement of himself. What was he thinking, half stripping in front of Zeb? Oh, he knew exactly what he'd been thinking-about how nice Zeb's abs looked under that wet shirt, they way it made him feel when Zeb said his name in that huskily sweet accent of his, the way that those green eyes lit up when he was excited or flashed dangerously when he was angry or seemed to be full of pure sunshine when he smiled.

The green eyes-maybe that was it. Kanan was missing Hera, and Zeb's eyes reminded him of hers so his brain was making some weird connection because he was desperate for anything that would make missing Hera hurt less. He knew deep down that comparing Zeb to Hera was just an excuse to try to avoid confronting his real feelings, but he'd take any sort of excuse that he could get. He was with Hera and that was that, there was no way he was going to cheat on her. Just because he had no idea where Hera was or if he'd ever even find her that didn't mean he could move on with someone else. At least that's what he told himself as he was drying off and changing clothes.

He was walking down to the bottom floor -the house was three levels, not including the attic, with him staying on the third floor-and was passing the second floor when he heard soft noises coming from somewhere down the hall. Some instinct-the same instinct that had warned him about the rain-told him to just keep walking, to not investigate. But it sounded like Zeb's voice, and it almost sounded like he was in pain or hurt. He couldn't just ignore that, what if Zeb needed his help? He walks quickly down the hall, his bare feet padding on the soft rugs that covered the wooden floor. He stopped outside the door that he could only assume was Zeb's due to the "No Admittance to Guests" sign on it-clearly Zeb wouldn't want strangers who were renting the house invading his private space. There had been a lull in the noise that Kanan had been hearing and he was just starting to wonder if he'd been imagining things when it started again, and this time it was very clear what the sound was, even as muffled as it was. Kanan feels his whole face turning red at the sound of Zeb's gasps and moans-he was clearly pleasuring himself. He had no idea why Zeb had chosen now of all times to do this, but the man had a right to do what he wanted in the privacy of his own home. Kanan was supposed to be changing, maybe even taking a shower, so why shouldn't Zeb take advantage of the time to himself?

Feeling guilty, as if he'd just invaded something private, Kanan quickly turns to leave, only to freeze when he heard Zeb saying his name-shit, had he been caught? But then he heard his name again, over and over, and he suddenly realized exactly what he was hearing. Face burning, Kanan hurries back down the hallway as fast as he dares while trying not to make any noise. That was clearly not something he was meant to have heard, why hadn't he listened to the voice in his head telling him to leave things alone?

Back in the living room, he stops to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. Okay, so it was quite possible that Zeb had feelings for him. But he couldn't let Zeb do this, wouldn't let him ruin things with Alex, wherever Alex was! What he'd done in the kitchen was way over the line, and he needed to reign back in whatever it was that he was feeling before he ruined not just his own life but the lives of three other people he cared about deeply.

Feeling antsy and not sure what else to do, Kanan wanders into the kitchen. It was about lunchtime, maybe until Zeb was finished doing, well, whatever it was that he was doing, he could make them some lunch. Sure Kanan wasn't the greatest cook in the world, but he could handle cold cut sandwiches and chips or something like that. Although there was the problem that he didn't exactly know what types of toppings Zeb liked in his sandwiches… Okay, maybe sandwiches were a bad idea. So maybe some soup, then? He doubted Zeb would buy a can of soup that he didn't like! Yes, that sounded like a safe option and so he goes to check the cupboards.

As it turned out, there weren't any cans of soup, but there were packets of what was apparently soup mix. There was one that read "Tomato Bisque" that sounded promising-that was probably like regular tomato soup, right? And what was better on a cold day than tomato soup and grilled cheese? Oh, grilled cheese! That was a pretty safe sandwich to make, right? Okay, he knew what he was going to make for lunch now. It might not be pretty, but if he followed the instructions on the soup mix it should hopefully be edible.

Kanan was so wrapped up in lunch preparations that he didn't even realize Zeb had finally come downstairs until he heard Zeb's voice saying, "Whoa, what's all this, then?"

"O-Oh, hey!" Kanan tries to act as casual as he can, as casual as someone can be after hearing the person they're speaking to moaning out their name while jerking off only minutes earlier. "I-I hope you don't mind, but I started to make us lunch…"

"Kanan, you didn't have to do that!" Zeb cries.

"Well I wanted to-you're being nice enough to have me here as your guest!" Kanan answers.

"If anything, you're doing me a favor by being here," Zeb says softly. "I feel… Well, less lonely than I've felt in a long, long time."

"Aww, Zeb…" Kanan feels himself blushing-the truth was that he felt the same way about having Zeb here with him.

"So, is there anything I can do to help make lunch?" Zeb offers.

"Hm.. Well, I'm making soup and grilled cheese sandwiches," Kanan answers. "Want to take over one of those?"

"I'll take the sandwiches," Zeb says after taking a moment to think it over.

"Works for me," Kanan agrees, happy to hand one of the jobs over to someone else instead of trying to juggle both of them himself.

Lunch didn't take that long to finish, the two working in companionable silence, Kanan willing himself to pretend that he hadn't heard what he thought he'd heard earlier if Zeb wasn't going to bring it up.

"So, I think you were going to start showing me some musicals?" Zeb asks once the food was finished cooking and had been dished up.

"Sure!" Kanan agrees eagerly-was Zeb really going to watch musicals with him? "We can start after lunch, if you want?"

"We could-or we could even start while we eat?" Zeb suggests. "I've got tv trays and, call it a bit of bedevilment, but it's kind of fun for me eating while watching a movie since my gran never allowed it."

"Fair enough!" Kanan laughs. "I'm happy to do it if you want to!"

They get the trays set up in the living room and then while Zeb brings the food out Kanan works with the TV. Zeb didn't have his own Disney Plus account, so Kanan signs in with his own, going ahead and making Zeb his own profile so that he could use it to start getting caught up on Disney even when he wasn't here.

"So, what's the first musical you're subjecting me to?" Zeb asks playfully as they settle down on the couch together, Kanan purposefully trying to keep a safety gap between them.

"'Subjecting' nothing!" Kanan scoffs. "We're watching a masterpiece-Hamilton!"

"Hamilton?"

"Yes!"

"Isn't he some dead guy who helped write the constitution or something?"

"He was one of the founding fathers, yes."

"...And they made a musical about him?"

"Yep!"

"...Is this going to be one of those educational movies they showed to us in school like Schoolhouse Rock?"

"No, it's nothing like that!"

"Not so sure I believe you…"

"C'mon, just give it a shot!"

"Alright, I'm trusting you. But if it sucks or puts me to sleep I pick the next movie. Fair?"

"Fair."

As it turned out, Zeb did not get to choose any movies that afternoon, not because he was thrilled with every musical but because Kanan was just really good at convincing Zeb to keep going with the musical theme. Zeb was neutral on Hamilton, said he wasn't really a fan of the music style. He rather liked Newsies. Shrek the Musical he fully enjoyed, even though he'd never seen the original movie. As for Rent, he liked the concept but found the story a bit hard to follow. It was a bit surprising to Kanan that Zeb's favorite of the musicals that they watched turned out to be Singing in the Rain, but Zeb explained that it was like something he would have watched with his grandparents growing up-in fact, he said that he thought he might even remember watching it once with them because some of the songs sounded somewhat familiar.

Kanan found it sweet how much Zeb obviously cared for his grandparents and was trying to keep their memories alive, but some small part of him wondered if Zeb was maybe a bit too attached to the past, like how even though they were his now Zeb still spoke of the house and his shop like they still belonged to his grandparents. Was that really a healthy way to live his life? Not that Kanan was really one to talk, although in his case instead of being too attached to the past he was running from it. After his mom had died in friendly fire, Kanan had sworn that he never wanted to be a part of the system that had been responsible for so many senseless deaths like hers and called his mom a hero but only rewarded her by dumping her kid in the foster system, just to show back up when he was almost eighteen to try to convince him that his only option in life was to sign up to die just like she had.

No. Unacceptable. Kanan had refused for that to be his legacy. Maybe that's why he loved Hamilton so much, because he saw himself in Hamilton's story, even though instead of writing himself into a career in politics, his high school theater teacher had encouraged him to practice his talents in stage combat and prop making until he had an impressive enough portfolio to earn himself a college scholarship. Not to a fancy university, but to a nice enough state school, which was where he now taught. Of course it was all of that driving himself to work hard to get and then keep his scholarship that had led him to drinking to cope with the stress…

It was odd how the game had been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it had helped him get sober and find a family that supported him. A curse because it had made him fight and die in a war, the fate he'd been trying to avoid his whole life, and then ripped him out of the world without the ability to ever see that family again unless he fought tooth and nail for it, and even then it wasn't a guarantee…

"Hey, you okay?" Zeb asks, startling him out of his thoughts.

"What? Oh, no, I'm fine," Kanan quickly answers. He didn't need to burden Zeb with his own emotional trauma. Maybe someday he'd tell him about it, but not today.

"So, I think we might have time for one more movie if you want, but then I at least need to get heading to bed," Zeb tells him.

"Got it." Kanan nods, trying to think of the perfect movie to end the night. Phantom and Les Mis were both kind of heavy for before bedtime viewing. So what to show him…?

Finally an idea comes to him based on something that Zeb had said earlier. "Are you willing to give The Sound of Music another chance?"

"Alright," Zeb chuckles. "But don't blame me if I fall asleep halfway through like last time."

"Wouldn't think of it," Kanan answers. The truth was he was half counting on it, and he got his wish when Zeb nodded off sometime around the time of the "Do Re Mi" song. Once he saw that Zeb was asleep, feeling slightly guilty but not guilty enough to have the self control not to, Kanan curls up against Zeb's side, resting his head against his shoulder and breathing in his soft, slightly musky scent until he too had fallen asleep.

The next day, despite Kanan's wishes that he could stay longer, he finally heads back to his apartment-he had laundry and some other chores that he couldn't justify putting off any longer.

"If you want, we could do this again next weekend?" Zeb says as he helps Kanan load his duffel bag into the back of his car.

"I'd like that," Kanan admits-maybe it wasn't smart to keep being alone with Zeb like this when he couldn't get himself to behave, but he just couldn't say no, especially since Zeb was his only tie to the game and their family right now.

"And maybe by next weekend we'll have at least one of the others with us," Zeb adds.

"Yes, that would be great," Kanan agrees-as much as a part of him wanted Zeb to himself, maybe having the others back would help him finally silence that troublesome voice in his head.

"You'll call me if you hear from any of the others?"

"Of course. And you'll call me, right?"

"Absolutely."

The two of them both stood by Kanan's car, neither of them seeming to want him to leave…

"Y'know, next weekend is kind of a ways away," Zeb finally hedges. "Maybe, if you're free some evening, we could..."

"Have dinner? I'd love to!" Kanan says, taking a chance on answering what he hoped Zeb was asking.

"Great!" Zeb beams at him. "I'll text you?"

"Sounds good," Kanan agrees, pausing for a moment and then pulling Zeb into an impromptu hug. "See you soon."

"See you soon," Zeb agrees, hugging him back.

The next week was a hopeful one. Kanan felt like he was constantly buzzing with both nervous and excited energy. He'd found Zeb. Who would be next? Hera? Ezra? Hera? Sabine? Hera? Admittedly his brain was running a bit one-track mindedly. Maybe it was at least partly because he was trying to tell himself that he'd been overthinking that last weekend with Zeb, that his commitment to Hera had never wavered. Not that it actually had. Even when he'd been a bit… distracted by Zeb, the fact that he loved Hera with his whole heart had never been in question. And he knew that Zeb felt the same way about Alex. So it was hard to understand why he was having these feelings that he had whenever he was around Zeb. It wasn't possible to be in love with two people at once, was it?

His mess of a romantic life aside, he found himself jumping every time his phone rang or beeped with a text from an unknown number. Unfortunately it just turned out to be a prolific week for robo-callers, and by the end of the week neither he nor Zeb had heard anything. Still, they knew that the others, like them, may have been scared off from the facility so they were probably just taking a break before trying again and because of that it might take a bit to hear back from them. But one week stretched into two. And then three. And then four. By the end of the fourth week, they were both really starting to give up hope.

"Maybe we're the only ones who were trying to find each other," Zeb says dismally after spending four hours of a Friday night sitting in his kitchen just staring at their phones, waiting rather hopelessly for one of them to ring, too depressed to even try to cheer themselves up or distract themselves.
"Maybe the game wasn't that big of a deal for them," Kanan agrees, his chin resting on his folded arms on the table, making him wonder yet again if there was something wrong with him that he considered the game another reality and not just a fictional world made of data.

"Or maybe the rest of the crew… Maybe they weren't even real," Zeb says in a voice barely audible, voicing the one fear they'd both been harboring but had been too afraid to say. "We knew there were other players in there with us, but not who they were. They could have been Imperials, could have been anyone, really, even someone we never even met, or only met briefly…"

"No." Kanan shakes his head. "No, I refuse to believe that! Our family- Hera-"

"You think I want to give up on them? That it doesn't kill me to think I might never see my Alex again? But it's been almost two months since we left the game, Kanan! If they were real, or if they wanted to find us… Don't you think we'd know by now?"

Kanan takes a shaky breath, feeling tears pricking his eyes, trying not to hear or believe what Zeb was saying, even though he knew that he was telling him the hard truth.

"I just… I miss them so much," Kanan finally whispers. "I want them back. Even if I had to go back into that stupid game and not come back out…"

"Kanan, no." Zeb reaches out and takes his face in his hands. "Don't do that to yourself. I know this hurts like hell. Believe me, I know! But we can't keep living our lives waiting for something to happen when it's not. We have to start moving on."

Kanan wanted to yell at Zeb, to tell him to stop being cruel, but he could hear the way his voice cracked, could see that he had tears in his eyes too.

"I don't want to lose them, Zeb…" Kanan could barely hear his own voice, his throat felt like it was being choked with emotion.

"I know," Zeb answers, reaching out and wiping away the tears that were starting to leak out of his eyes. "I don't want to either. But maybe… Maybe it'll be better this way. Eventually, when it stops hurting so much."

"W-What do you mean-?"

Kanan felt Zeb's thumb slowly move from his cheek to the corner of his lips, and his heart started to pound. Wait, what was he doing? Was he really…?

"Kanan… I've been trying my best to be careful and stay away from yeh," Zeb says softly, his eyes meeting Kanan's, holding him spellbound. Had they always been that green? Apparently he really did have a thing for green eyes…

"I-I didn't want to say anything while there was still a chance of us finding the others, didn't want to get between you and Hera, or be disloyal to Alex. But Kanan, if it's just you and me, do you think that you might be willing to…"

"Yes." Kanan didn't even need to hear the end of that question to know the answer. "Yes, absolutely yes."

He didn't know if this counted as rebounding since this had been building up for weeks, or if this was healthy or not. But right now he needed this, and he could tell Zed did too.

"Yes?" Zeb repeats, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes," Kanan answers breathlessly.

Something felt so right about the way Zeb was smiling at him-like he mattered, like he was something to be treasured-and he didn't feel even a moment's misgiving as Zeb brought their faces together, felt his lips ghost across his own…

And then suddenly, like a parent breaking apart two giddy teens, Kanan's phone started ringing.

"Karabast!" curses Zeb, who was so startled that he almost fell out of his chair.

"S-Sorry," Kanan apologizes. "I'll turn it off, or put it on silent-"

He actually had a very strong feeling that he was supposed to answer that, but it was far too convenient that the universe or the force or whatever it was to do this right now.

"No, you should answer that," Zeb answers, shaking his head as if waking up from a dream.

"Zeb…"

"Kanan. Answer it."

With many misgivings, Kanan finally picks up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello?" he hears a woman's voice-a very, very familiar woman's voice-answer. "Is this Kanan Jarrus?"

"Y-Yes," Kanan replies, his heart rate speeding up. No it couldn't be-!

"I'm so sorry to call you out of the blue like this, and so late," the woman says, her voice hesitant. "I wouldn't have called you at all but the receptionist at the testing facility said that you were trying to reach anyone else who had been in the same game simulation-"

"Hera?" Kanan couldn't wait any longer to confirm that it was her.

"Yes! And you're Kanan-my Kanan?"

"Hera, yes, it's me!"

"Oh, Kanan…" He swore he could hear her smiling through the phone.

"I-I was starting to be afraid I'd never see you again," Kanan whispers-he could hardly believe he was talking to Hera right now!

There was a pause and then Hera answers, "I'm sorry it took so long, but I promise I'll explain everything when I see you. I-If you might be willing to meet me-?"

"Yes! Of course yes!" Kanan answers. "Where-? When-?"

"I'm in New York right now, but I'm flying back in tomorrow, maybe Sunday…?"

"Sunday is perfect! Just tell me where and when and I'll be there."

"Okay." Hera lets out a soft laugh. "I'll text you closer to time and we can coordinate."

"Perfect. Hera, it's… It's really great to hear your voice again."

"You too," Hera says softly before her tone suddenly changes. "Oh, I forgot to tell you! I was given Zeb's contact information too-"

Kanan freezes. Shit. Zeb. How could he have completely forgotten about him? He looks over at Zeb, who was staring at the wall with a completely blank expression on his face. He'd been about to kiss Zeb, but now he had Hera back… Still, it felt wrong to dump Zeb just because Hera was back in the picture…

"-so I was thinking if you're okay with it, we could invite him to do all the introductions at once?"

"Actually, Zeb's right here," Kanan hears himself saying. "We found each other a few weeks ago and started hanging out…"

"Really? That's good!" Hera exclaims, sending a jolt of guilt through Kanan. "Could you put him on?"

"Zeb?" Kanan puts his hand over the speaker, looking helplessly at Zeb, not knowing what to do. "I-It's Hera, she wants to talk to you. Do you want to…?"

He wasn't sure what to expect, but probably not for Zeb to say in a totally normal, if almost cheerful voice, "Sure, I'd love to! Put her on speaker so we can both talk to her?"

"U-Um, sure," Kanan agrees, trying not to let on how surprised he was. "Hera? I'm putting you on speaker, we're both here."

"Zeb?" Hera says tentatively.

"Hera, hello!" Zeb answers. "Good to hear from yeh finally!"

"You too!" Hera laughs. "I was telling Kanan maybe we could try to get together on Sunday, if you're both free?"

"Love to," Zeb answers.

"Great! I need to head to bed since I've got an early flight tomorrow, but I'll text both of you and we can coordinate?"

"Perfect," Zeb agrees.

"Okay! Talk to both of you soon," Hera says before ending the call.

"What was that?" Kanan asks almost as soon as she hangs up.

"What was what?" Zeb asks.

"You, being so happy about this! Zeb, I'm so sorry, we were almost kissing and then I got distracted and-"

"No we weren't."

"...Zeb, you had your lips right on mine, unless that means something else to you I'm pretty sure that we were-"

"No… I mean, we were. But as far as either of us are concerned, it didn't happen, alright?"

"...What? Why?"

"Look, you've got Hera back, right? And that means Alex is probably out there, so it's for the best that we act like-whatever that was-didn't happen."

"Oh." Kanan felt like he'd been slapped. He was only Zeb's second choice, he'd only tried to kiss him because he thought Alex wasn't real? But was Kanan any more innocent? Sure, he'd felt attracted to Zeb even when he thought Hera was real, but he'd only been waiting to kiss him when he'd convinced himself that Hera wasn't real, only to forget Zeb was sitting right next to him the instant she called him.

"...Fine." Kanan says. "It never happened."

"Right." Zeb nods.

"Good. We've got that sorted out then. We've got Hera back, so now we just have to get back to work on finding everyone else."

"Sure."

Kanan didn't like leaving things like this, but what else could he do? He had the promise of Sunday, but even as excited as he was about it, after what had just happened with Zeb it somehow felt hollow.