The A, B, C, and H's of Love

Chapter Five: Eighteen

It was definitely past midnight; it had to be. They'd gotten back to their flat at 9 and been discussing it ever since. Neither of them was tired; they were too wrapped up in the argument. Disagreement. Regardless of what it was, it wasn't the happiest talk they'd shared.

"I can't understand why you won't just let this go!" He threw his hands in the air and continued pacing the length of the living room. She sighed and pushed her hair back behind her ears, still situated on the couch. He'd been unable to sit still the whole time, whereas she had stayed on the couch, her legs crossed the whole time.

"Because you need to! It's something you've avoided-" He stopped momentarily and glared at her.

"Avoided? I have never avoided this!"

"Yes you did…beginning of seventh year we were going to but you never showed up! Hell, I went by myself. You've been avoiding this for too long and you need to do it!"

He ran a hand through his hair, his green eyes blazing and glossy. "Why? Just tell me that much? Why do I need to go so bad? I don't owe them anything."

"Harry, they're your parents-"

"Yeah well then why weren't they ever there for me? Why did they have to die? They left me completely alone! I didn't have anybody my whole childhood! What in the hell do I owe them now? They didn't—they weren't even—I hate them!"

Harry turned and punched the nearest wall as hard as he could, falling to the ground with tears streaming down his face. Hermione was sitting next to him in a flash, holding him in her arms as he cried. She ran her hand through his hair, whispering to keep him calm.

"Why did they die? I never got to know them…they just left me alone. I hate them Hermione."

Hermione held him closer. "Harry it's ok to hate them. They left you when they died, just like you said. But Harry…they died to protect you. They loved you too much to let anything happen to you. They made a choice, and it was what they knew to be right." She cupped his face with her hands, making him look her in the eye. "Harry they loved you more than anything else in life. To them, you were life. You were everything that mattered. And they didn't want to leave you, but if that was the only way to make sure you lived your life, then it was probably a very easy choice to make."

Harry looked down, tears still falling. "It hurts Hermione. I never got to know them…I never got to keep a memory of them. I miss them so much, I want to know them."

Hermione hugged Harry again. "I know you do sweetheart. They'd be so proud of you."

Harry pulled away and looked deep into her eyes. "Do you really think they would be?"

Hermione smiled. "Of course they would. You've become such an amazing person; you're everything that's good in this world Harry. They'd be fools not to be proud of you."

Harry nodded. "It's so hard."

"I know honey." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "But you need to see them Harry."

He shook his head. "Why?" He looked up at her and it nearly broke her heart. "What benefit would I get out of it?"

Hermione squeezed his hand, staring into his eyes, not answering until she knew she could see all the way to his soul. "Peace." Harry sighed but finally gave in with a nod.

"Would you go with me? I can't do it alone."

Hermione leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. "Of course I will."

The day couldn't have been unhappier…dark cloud kept the sun caged and rain was the only thing threatening to escape from them. The crisp wind could chill anything down to the bone, making the day even more dreadful. But for Harry, the weather was the very least of his concerns when he and Hermione entered the graveyard.

Harry paused and sighed once they reached the entrance. Hermione reached over and grabbed Harry's hand, holding it safely within her own. She remained silent, knowing words couldn't help the man next to her. As much as she was willing to be beside each step of the way, the first step was to take.

Gathering as much strength as he could, he swallowed the lump in his throat and trudged on, his body as terrified as his mind. Hermione was there beside him, encouraging him with her presence to take the next step. Every time he was determined to turn around and head for the hills, she'd give his hand a little squeezing, sending him a piece of her strength. His mid would tell him to go on and he'd send the strength back to her until he needed it again.

With each and every step Harry found it more and more tempting to leave. No matter how hard the previous step had been, the next one seemed even more difficult. Each step continually added to the knot deep in the pit of his stomach and the lump in his throat that was steadily becoming more and more constricted. Just when he was sure he would topple over with the next step, he came face to face with them. Suddenly, he felt the need and desire to get closer.

Hermione gave his hand one last squeeze before releasing him to go on alone. Tears began burning her eyes as she watched him take three steps closer to them. She stood and watched, waiting for the pain, guilt, and grief to leave him.

Never before in his life had standing been so damn difficult; his legs just didn't think they needed to work anymore. His knees gave in and he fell onto them, still staring at his parents. He tried to make out exactly what the graves said, but with the tears blurring his vision it was harder than he thought. He reached over and traced the L in his mom's name. He slowly moved from one letter to the next, tracing each one carefully and slowly, taking them in without having to read them. He moved over to his dad's, tracing his dad's name just like he had traced his mom's.

The tears had begun to fall on their own at some point, and Harry was beginning to have a hard time catching his breath. He leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. He put his hand out, trying to find Hermione. Her hand was in his moments after he reached for her, and she hugged him from behind, resting her head on his back and rocking him slowly. The tears turned into sobs and they grew more and more intense, but he didn't care or fight them; he was with Hermione, and he knew she'd be there to comfort him even after they stopped.

Harry finally managed to suppress the sobs and catch his breath, but he couldn't manage to stop the tears. Hermione ran her fingers through his hair, rocking him gently on the ground, her head still leaning on his back. He had finally managed to calm down, and she knew that he was getting closer and closer to peace. He finally could have peace with all his emotions that had built up over the years. He'd finally managed to be at peace with his parents.

The tears became less and less frequent, his breathing was back to normal, and all the emotions he had had inside of him over the years were beginning to release his heart. Hermione rested her head against his temple, kissing him lightly on the cheek. He smiled a bit, glad that she had come along to bear this with him. He knew she had tears in her eyes; she always had been a very empathetic person.

Believing he had gotten his legs under control again, he stood, his hand still held securely in Hermione's. He looked at his parents once again, this time with a smile. He kissed his hand and rested it for a moment on each of their graves before turning and slowly making his way to the exit with Hermione by his side.

Harry turned and looked at his parents one last time, glad that they had each other right next to them. He looked at Hermione and kissed her, knowing that they would always be together, through life and death, just like his parents.

Author's Note: I know this one took forever and I apologize for it, but this one was definitely the hardest one I've done so far. The idea came to me randomly, and while some of you may not think it's as romantic as some of my other stories, I happen to find it very sweet and romantic. It's a rather emotional one and I always thought that with everything Harry's been through that it just had to suck boo-tay. And I always had it in my mind that Hermione was his emotion baggage, so he shared his pain and emotions with her and her alone, which created such a strong and unbreakable bond between them. I hope you liked it; I don't think it's too shabby. 'F' will be up a.s.a.p.