Thanks everyone for reading and responding!

jess – Your godmother gives great advice!

Victoria – Welcome to the story. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

This chapter is kind of long, so be warned. Okay the dash/dashes I normally use to divide the sections are not loading for some reason, so I divided the sections with solid lines. I don't like it . :( But I don't have a choice. So,I hope that it doesn't distract too much from the reading.

Chapter Thirty

"I'm going to pack all of your coats and shawls." Wilhelmina said as she pulled them from the closet. "You'll no doubt need them in Paris."

"Perhaps." Vivian muttered as she gazed out the window.

"Vivian I know that you're not happy with your father sending you away." Wilhelmina said in response to Vivian's somber reply. "But it's for your own good." She continued, now folding the shawls and placing them in Vivian's suitcase. "You moping around over a gentleman who has never once called upon you is proof that this trip is what's best." She added

"I'm not moping around because of Pete." Vivian contested

"Well then what is it?" the woman asked as she gave the young lady her full attention, ceasing to pack the suitcase.

Silence –

"It's Sean." Vivian confessed with a sigh

"Sean?" Wilhelmina exclaimed "Why would you be moping around over Sean Logan?" she asked with perplexity.

Vivian again sighed and turned away from the window to face Wilhelmina. "I saw him the other day…" she explained "when I went to town to see Pete." She continued, answering Wilhelmina's silent question of when and why. "I ran into Sean at his office…and when I saw him I realized that I still care for him…I think that I may even still love him." She finished piteously, her eyes pleading for some glimpse of understanding in Wilhelmina's scolding stare.

"And what does that have to do with you leaving?" the woman asked, even though she had some idea where Vivian's statement was going.

"Wilhelmina I don't want to leave Lexington if I still love Sean. I can't leave him, not feeling this way."

"Child what are you talking about you can't leave him?" Wilhelmina asked, her hands coming to rest on her hips. "He's not yours to leave. Sean Logan has been out of your life for months, and furthermore, I thought you were sweet on Pete Dixon."

"I know that Sean's been out of my life for months." Vivian whined "And I'm still very fond of Pete…but I think…that after seeing Sean that maybe we can still have a chance."

"Oh Vivian." Wilhelmina sighed with frustration "I can't believe that you're doing this to yourself again, after one visit with Sean Logan. What's giving you this idea that you and he can still court? Did he tell you he loved you and that he wanted to reunite?" she asked, already knowing that if this had occurred Vivian would have told her days ago.

Silence –

"No" Vivian answered reluctantly. The hurt flaring up in her heart as she remembered how Sean had not even told her he'd miss her while she was gone.

"Then why do you think that there's any chance for you and Sean to reunite?" the woman asked with bewilderment.

"I don't know." Vivian sighed as she began to pace, obviously frustrated and confused "Maybe if I didn't pressure him this time. I think that he might be uncomfortable expressing what he's really feeling because he fears that I'll instantly demand marriage. Maybe if I just let him know that we don't have to think about marr…"

"Stop right there." Wilhelmina interjected, causing Vivian's words to cease and her pacing to halt. "If you and Sean reunited he would have to offer you nothing less than marriage." The woman contended strongly "And we both know that that's not going to happen. Sean has already stated his feelings toward you. Now let him go and stop this nonsense in thinking that you two can be together."

"It's not nonsense!" Vivian countered weakly, trying to convince herself that there was some merit to her feelings.

"If it's not nonsense then what is it?" Wilhelmina asked

Vivian didn't answer. She was thinking, conflicted over her feelings. Maybe Wilhelmina was right, she mused, even though she knew that she still cared for Sean. Maybe no matter how many liberties she gave him with their relationship it wouldn't work. After all, he had ended things with her, had made no effort to reunite and had showed no feelings beyond friendship when she'd seen him several days ago. Maybe the potential that she saw for a reunion was just her thrusting her hopes onto a futile situation.

"Vivian?" Wilhelmina pressed

"Maybe you're right." The young lady reluctantly conceded. "I don't know why I even thought that Sean and I could again have a chance. After all that's happened between us…we can't go back." She forced herself to say.

"Well I do think that you still love him." Wilhelmina said, knowing that Vivian was struggling with her conclusion. "And upon seeing him again you realized that those feeling were still there, but that's no reason to upset your life. I know that you don't want to leave Lexington, but I think that this trip is exactly what you need to rediscover who you are before you again start receiving gentleman callers."

"You're right." Vivian said with confidence, the falseness of which she was able to hide. "Though I loathe the thought of spending months with mother and William, it could be quite beneficial to me…I'll be away from Sean…and Pete…and when I return it'll be like a new a beginning!"

"Now that's the spirit!" Wilhelmina concurred with excitement and relief. "I know that you're still struggling with your feelings for Sean, and perhaps even for Pete too." The woman said knowingly "But you'll get over them, both of them. If you just take the time to heal, which means no courting in Paris." The woman ordered in a motherly tone.

"Wilhelmina!"

"I mean it Vivian." The woman reinforced, holding Vivian's gaze until the young woman acknowledged what she had instructed. "Now I have to get back to packing your things. There's still so much to get done and…"

Vivian watched as Wilhelmina resumed her task of removing items from the closet and putting them away in her suitcase, but was hardly listening to what the woman was saying. For she was thinking, listening to her heart that still felt that there may be chance for she and Sean. That maybe she should again see him, be certain that it was over before leaving for Paris.

"Pa?" Alice called as she peeked into the horse's stall. "Oh it's you." She stated indignantly when she saw Jeremy, then quickly turned to go.

"Alice wait!" Jeremy asserted, dropping the pail he was holding, to follow her out the stall. "Wait!" he said again as he came up behind her and thoughtlessly grabbed her arm.

"Take your hands off of me." Alice retorted.

"I'm sorry." Jeremy uttered, jerking his hand back. "I just want to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about." Alice replied angrily, then moved to walk away.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked desperately, determined to get her attention in any way he could. He knew why she was shutting him out, why she hadn't spoken to him in weeks, but he thought that by feigning ignorance of the obvious he could get her to talk. "Why are you so angry with me?" he pushed.

Alice heaved a disbelieving sigh as she stopped and turned back to face him. "Please don't stand there pretending like you don't know why I'm so angry." She stated heatedly. "You lied to me." She continued. "You convinced me and my family that you'd never had a family and that you felt blessed to have us in your life, when you were really just using us to get close to your daughter."

Jeremy groaned in distress, running his hand through his hair, hating to hear Alice view him as a user, but satisfied that he at least had her talking. "Okay I did use you and your family to get to Lexington so that I could be near Danielle." he admitted remorsefully "But I wasn't lying when I told you I'd never had a real family. I've spent most of my life in orphan…"

"Spare me the sob story." Alice interjected "I've heard it before, and this time it's not going to work."

"Why can't you believe me when I say that I'm sorry?" Jeremy pleaded. "I admit that I lied and that I used you and your family. I was wrong. And I am sorry for what I've done. I'm sorry for hurting you." He ended earnestly

"You're not sorry for hurting me." Alice alleged fiercely "You're just sorry that you got caught... You know Clay was right." She continued, her anger mounting at his desolate gaze. "You're just a liar and a thief and I wish that my father had never brought you into this family." She finished viciously, but immediately regretted the words that had sprung from her lips.

Jeremy sighed, closing his eyes at the hurt he was feeling, but knowing that this was all his doing and probably what he deserved. "I'm sorry." He again said, his eyes now open. I'm sorry…that you…don't want me here…" he expressed sadly holding Alice's stare. The girl wanted to apologize for the horrible things she'd said, but before she could swallow her pride and speak, Jeremy turned and walked away, realizing that even if he wanted to remain on the Logan ranch, it would be impossible with the kind of hostility he'd created. He had to resume his original plans, he thought dismally, for there was no way for him to repair the damage he'd done except for him to leave the Logans, leave Lexington as soon as possible.

Sean stood motionless on the Peter's porch, his palms sweaty and his stomach in knots. He'd been home for nearly two weeks and just now, only days before Marita was to arrive in Lexington had he finally mustered the courage to come and speak with her father. Originally he'd planned to speak with Isaac soon after he'd spoken with his pa, but after his father's less than enthusiastic response to he and Marita's plans, Sean had to re-think his approach. So he'd waited, thinking he'd take an extra day or two to prepare himself more before he talked with Marita's father, but before he knew it, he'd gotten buried in work and then there was no time left. He had to talk with Isaac, now, today, before Marita arrived in town. Sean deeply inhaled, briefly wondering when the last time he'd been such a nervous wreck. Then he remembered. It had only been two times before, both being years earlier. The first was when he had to give his first speech at a Tobacco Merchant Society Meeting and the second was when he'd first kissed Marita. Sean thought his heart was going to pound out of his chest during the latter, that he would die from anxiety before he could taste her lips, but he made it through. And her lips were the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted in his life, and still was he thought longing, his heart aching at the memory he'd just recalled. Sean closed his eyes and again took a deep breath, trying to quell his anxiety and settle his soul. Telling himself that this talk would go well. He then opened his eyes, determined and composed, then lifted his hand and knocked on the Peter's door…

"Sean!" Isaac said unexpectedly when he opened the door. "Is everything all right?" he asked, thinking how the young man hardly ever came by unless there was a problem with one of the horses.

"Yes sir." Sean answered "Can we talk?" He requested nervously.

"Sure." The man said, yet curious as to why Sean would want to talk to him. "Come in." he welcomed, stepping aside to let the young man into the house.

Sean stepped over the home's threshold and instantly recalled the last time he was there. It had been months earlier, during the Summer, the night he and Marita had almost made love. God he missed her he thought as his heart ached for her closeness, her voice…

"So how's your work going in town?" Isaac queried, disrupting Sean's thoughts, as he led the young man further into the house.

"Pretty good." Sean replied unevenly, still battling nerves and his longing for Marita. "We're just trying to get everything squared away before …we…um…" Sean's coherent thought immediately vanished, jumbled by the rush of heated memories that came when Isaac led him into the sitting room. It still looked the same, he observed, just like it had in July. The only difference was there were no old embers in the fireplace, and there was no Marita, staring at him from across the room in that sensuous gown that had revealed nothing.

"Are you all right?" Isaac asked, again breaking Sean's train of thought as he turned to the young man, not understanding his sudden stammering. "If it's too warm in here we can talk in the kitchen." He suggested, seeing that Sean appeared to be a little flushed.

"It is a bit warm." Sean confessed awkwardly, embarrassed that the heat he was feeling had nothing to do with the fire in the hearth.

"Well the kitchen it is then." Isaac said as he led Sean out of the sitting room and across the hall to the kitchen. When they entered the room, Isaac immediately offered Sean a seat at the table and a cup of tea, but Sean declined the drink and took a seat. Then waited anxiously, fighting his yearning for Marita, as Isaac prepared himself a cup of tea.

"So what is it you want to talk about?" the man asked as he joined Sean at the table.

Sean immediately trembled inside, thinking of what he was about to say, at the possible reaction Isaac would emit. What if the man failed to give him and Marita his blessing? What would that mean for them? He thought worriedly. Though he and Marita had touched on the possibility of such a response, they'd never really discussed how to deal with such an occurrence.

"Sean?" Isaac asserted, shattering the young man's thoughts. "What is it you want to talk about?" he repeated.

Silence –

"It's Marita…" Sean finally said. Then paused, still trying to gather his courage, and center his thoughts.

Seeing Sean's diffidence, Isaac thought to urge the young man to continue, when suddenly he detected the source of Sean's struggle. "Look Sean, I know that you…care for Marita…and thus want to know more about her time in Michigan, how she's really doi…"

"Isaac." Sean interjected, stopping the man before he could continue. "You don't have to…say how Marita's really doing…I know." He confessed.

"Really?" Isaac responded with surprise, remembering that the last time he'd received a letter from his daughter she'd stated that she still wasn't writing to Sean. "So you've heard from her?" he asked.

Sean briefly lowered his eyes, not knowing how to answer the man's question, contemplating whether he should tell Marita's father that he'd visited her while he was away. Then he again returned his attention to the man across the way and responded. "Yes. I've …heard from Marita." He answered honestly. Then hesitated, still debating what he should say next before he continued. "What's more…I've also seen her." He declared.

"Seen her? When?" Isaac asked, not grasping the gist of what Sean was trying to say.

Silence –

"On my way home from Chicago…I stopped off in Michigan." Sean clarified

Isaac sat there, saying not a word, staring at the young man before him as a series of intense feelings ran through him. He was shocked, along with angry, as he remembered Ned's fury over his son not returning from Chicago as expected. How the man couldn't even track his son down in Illinois or Indiana. How it was as if he'd dropped off the face of the earth. When the reality was he was in Cholena, paying a call upon his daughter, no doubt without warning. Isaac became more infuriated, as he recalled his daughter's feelings towards Sean, how hard it was for her to leave Lexington because of him, and now Sean was sitting here telling him that he'd gone to see her "on his way home," which meant that he'd spent nearly a week in Cholena with his daughter. Isaac wanted to explode at the implication, but he remained quite, keeping his feelings hidden from his guest, as he smoothly turned his eyes to the cup before him, slowly lifting to take a swig from his brew. He then waited a moment, letting the hot tea flow down his throat, scorching his chest, before he returned the cup to it's place on the table and finally conveyed a response.

"You went to Michigan?" Isaac stated calmly, even though he was fuming inside. "That's not exactly on the route home is it?"

A wave of nerves washed over Sean, for he was not naive to the feelings he was certain the man was trying to obscure, but he pushed forward, swallowing his anxiety before he spoke. "No, it isn't." Sean answered uneasily "But that's where Marita is, and that's where I had to go." He said, his nervousness gradually starting to subside as he open his heart. "You see sir I… my feelings for your daughter go beyond caring…and friendship…" he continued. "I love her. I love, Marita… and I want to marry her." He finished sincerely.

"Marry her?" Isaac uttered in disbelief, his displeasure now exuding in his voice. "Is that what you told her when you called on her in Michigan?" he asked sharply.

Silence –

"Yes." Sean affirmed strongly. "After expressing to her my feelings…I asked Marita to be my wife."

Silence –

"And now… you want my blessing?" Isaac questioned tartly, now understanding the young man's visit and therefore not needing to ask what his daughter's response had been. He knew that if Sean went to her and opened his heart, that his daughter no doubt crumbled under the deep tenderness she felt for him and in turn accepted his proposal.

"Yes." Sean answered truthfully as he continued to hold the man's livid stare. "I came here to ask for your blessing."

Isaac sourly scoffed, shaking his head, astounded and angered even more by what he was hearing. "Do you know what people…preachers, judges, and men like your boss call a relationship between a Negro and a white?" he asked hotly. "They call it a 'product of evil.'" He said, before Sean could respond. "They believe that you, a white man, wanting to marry my Negro daughter is the epitome of sin…and do you know what that will mean for you, and worse for my daughter if you should marry?" he asked sternly, trying hard to keep his anger under control.

"Sir I am aware of the difficulties…"

"Difficulties?" Isaac interjected fiercely "Is that what you call the possibility of my daughter being humiliated and defiled, ostracized from the community because of her ties to you? Because I think you're misguided in thinking that such incidents are just "difficulties" you'll have to overcome."

"Isaac I'm not oblivious to the hatred people will assert when they learn of my relationship with your daughter." Sean countered staunchly. "I've seen the violence and the isolation that can spin from miscegenation bu …"

"Then why are you sitting here asking for my daughter's hand in marriage?" Isaac interjected angrily "Why are you willing to subject her to such risks?"

"Sir with all do respect, I'm not subjecting Marita to anything." Sean contested stiffly "She has chosen to take this risk, as have I, and despite the negative repercussions we will surely face, we're just as sure that we can get through all of it, that we can have a life together, just as others have done in situations akin to ours."

"Sean you're not some poor man living on the outskirts of town, rarely seen by the people of this community and thus can live in peace and obscurity with a woman of color." Isaac challenged tightly. "You're one of the wealthiest men in Lexington and the Deputy Director of Regional Affairs. You can't marry my daughter and expect to encounter minimal hostility…"

"And that's why I'm resigning as Deputy Director and leaving Lexington…" Sean countered fervently.

"And going where? To Michigan?" Isaac queried, immediately perceiving what Sean was implying. "Do you really think that leaving Lexington will protect you from the prejudices in this world? That the north will provide you with peace and protection? Because it won't." the man stated furiously "There's been racism and violence up there, just like there's been down here..."

"Isaac you have to know that I would never allow anything to happen to Marita." Sean interjected firmly his eyes holding the man's gaze. "I love her, more than my own life, and I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe." He ended determinedly.

"Don't tell me how much you love my daughter." Isaac rebutted severely "Because if you truly loved her the way you say you do, you'd walk away. You'd protect her in the best way you know how, which would be to leave her to the life she's building in Cholena instead of asking her to start a life with you."

Sean didn't say a word, his heart hurting with sadness as he desperately tried to compose a response that would reassure Marita's father, make him understand their position, but he could think of nothing, only that he loved his daughter, something the man already knew and didn't believe, and that he couldn't spend his life not waking by her side, not sharing her accomplishments, or hearing her thoughts. He needed her like the foliage needed the sun, and though undoubtedly selfish, Sean couldn't let go of her again. "Isaac I don…"

"Don't bother." The man interrupted "Cause there is nothing that you can say that will convince me to grant you my daughter's hand in marriage…." He finished angrily

"Isaac…"

"You should go." The man again interjected, his eyes reproaching Sean with his furious stare.

For a moment Sean didn't move. He was frustrated and stunned by how horribly this conversation had gone, worried about what it meant for the future he and Marita had planned. Sean wanted to say more, to again try and convince the man of his intentions, but instead he let the matter go, choosing to quietly leave without a word, knowing that tonight, and sadly possibly never, would he be able to sway the Isaac's adamant response.

Asa walked slowly through the bustling saloon, observing the drunkards and the men playing cards. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't be caught dead in such a seedy place, but what he was planning was anything but normal. Though he had Pete set with what was to go down at the Assemblyman's Dinner, Asa still wanted more, wanted Sean to pay dearly, to suffer in every way for what he'd done, and that why he was here, he thought vengefully now making his way towards the room in which his acquaintance was waiting…walking through the door of the room, Asa was immediately greeted with a cloud of smoke, along with the smell of liquor and a propositioning whore. He declined her offer, but thought that he might track her down if all went well with the business he came there to complete.

"Asa Winters." His contact said as Asa strode up to his table. "I haven't seen you in a while. What brings you to this hole in the ground?"

"Well you know I only come by when I have a job that requires your attention." Asa responded

"What is it this time?" the guy asked with a grating laugh. "A barn that needs to be burned down?"

"No." Asa countered stiffly "I have something that's more your specialty."

"Hmprh…sounds interesting." The man said "What is it?"

"What it always is, a Negro." Asa retorted with a laugh "But this time it's not the Negro, but the Negro lover."

"Do tell." The man demanded, his face now shadowed with malice and rage.