Reyna stared at the restaurant in front of her and tried to stop the pit that was forming in her gut. She wasn't sure what was so hard about walking inside, eating food, and forcing a semi-decent conversation with her sister. Instead, she was just staring at the door. Reyna was already ten minutes late. She had arrived about twenty minutes ago. It was just the fact of actually leaving her car that was difficult.
Reyna laid her head back and sighed. She loved Hylla. She really did. But, how could she let Hylla get close again? Reyna remembered their fight almost every single day, and it made her sick to her stomach. A stupid argument had escalated so terribly then. How was it going to be any different now?
Hylla had already kicked Reyna out of her life. During that big blowup, Hylla literally shoved Reyna towards the door and yelled for Reyna to get out and that she never wanted to see her again. It had hurt so badly, and Reyna stormed out. She kept telling herself it was just Hylla being beyond angry at that moment, but what if it wasn't? What if it happened again?
"Damn it," Reyna muttered. She rested her head on her steering wheel and felt her phone vibrate. Of course, she didn't want to lose her sister, but she didn't want to talk to her every day. Why did Hylla want to know everything about her? Hylla should just be content with the time that Reyna gave her.
A glance down at her phone showed a text from her sister. Reyna didn't read it. She just closed her eyes and let out a string of curses. That pit in her gut was getting deeper, and she felt like this was all a very bad idea. It would be easy to just turn on her car and drive away. Instead, she just sat there.
A few more minutes passed before Reyna sighed deeply and leaned back. She slipped her phone into her pocket and slowly got out of the car. Reyna closed the door and rested her head against it. There was never a pit like this before her fights. Talking to her sister was more nerve-wracking than trying to avoid her face being punched in.
Reyna pushed herself off of the car and walked towards the entrance of the restaurant. She walked towards the hostess and spoke softly, "My party should be here. Hylla Ramirez-Arellano."
"Follow me," the waitress said. She led Reyna towards a table, but it took a few moments for Reyna to will her feet to move. As she followed behind, her gaze stayed on the ground. It was when she almost ran into the waitress that she quickly looked up.
Reyna made eye contact with her sister and froze. Even though they barely saw each other, Hylla looked no different. Her black hair was pushed over one shoulder, and while she was dressed casually in blue jeans and a jacket, she still managed to make it look intimidating. Her black eyes focused on Reyna.
Hylla was holding onto a woman's hand. Reyna slowly moved her eyes from the woman's hand to her auburn hair then to her eyes that were as blue as a clear sky. The woman wore a jacket that matched Hylla's, but she wore sweatpants. Reyna slipped her hands into her own jacket and tried not to feel uncomfortable.
"Sister," Hylla said. She studied Reyna with an intense look. Reyna grabbed the chair but didn't move it. She just looked back and forth between her sister and the woman. "Sit."
It took a few moments for Reyna to pull the chair out and sit down. Her gaze focused on Hylla. Reyna knew that if she took her hair out of her braid and stood side by side with her sister, they would be indistinguishable, other than height differences. Yet, they didn't feel like sisters. Reyna wondered if Hylla felt the same way.
"It's nice to meet you, Reyna. I'm Kinzie," the woman said. Reyna's eyes drifted towards the other woman, and she tried to speak. The woman sounded kind enough, and she didn't give off a weird vibe that some of the others that Hylla dated did. Reyna couldn't form words, so she just averted her eyes and nodded.
Reyna grabbed the menu and studied it. Her stomach was turning so much that she didn't feel like eating. Kinzie spoke, "Hylla told me that you're a fighter in the Olympic League. How do you like doing that?"
"It's fine," Reyna said after a few moments. Even without looking up, she knew that Hylla wanted her to elaborate. How was Reyna suppose to elaborate though? Things at the gym were fine. Everything was fine. Granted, that day had been particularly frustrating. Trying to run the gym for Lupa was tiring but was something she could handle. Trying to deal with Frank's desire for a fight he couldn't handle and Octavian's whining was not.
"What is it like?" Kinzie asked. Reyna was saved from answering by the waitress walking over and taking their drink orders. She used that time to just stare at the menu and think of an answer. Nothing came to mind.
"It's fine," Reyna said once again. She inwardly winced and felt Hylla's piercing glare. Reyna almost squirmed in her seat. She was trying. That was all that mattered. Not that it would matter to Hylla though. If Hylla didn't get her way, she wouldn't let the situation rest.
Reyna wanted to ask Kinzie what she did, but those words still didn't leave her mouth. Instead, she just stared at the table. Hylla hadn't spoken a word, which only made the silence more awkward. Reyna tried to speak, but her mouth felt like it was full of cotton. Why was this so hard?
It wasn't that Reyna disapproved of Kinzie. She didn't even know anything about the woman, and for some reason, she couldn't even begin to ask questions. Letting Hylla in was going to be hard enough. But, a total stranger? That would be impossible.
"Hylla told me about your elbow. Is it all healed up?" Kinzie asked. Reyna forced herself to look. Hylla was watching her with a piercing glare. It was like she was daring Reyna to answer the same way again.
"It's... fine," Reyna said after a few moments.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hylla snapped. Reyna winced and looked away. "What the hell is your problem, Reyna? Why can't you just answer the damn question?"
"Babe, it's okay," Kinzie said softly. She grabbed Hylla's arm. Reyna could see the people at the nearby tables were looking at them. Hylla's outburst seemed to have caught their attention. Reyna swallowed painfully and didn't look up.
"This was a mistake," Hylla said. She stood and threw enough money on the table to cover their drinks. "I'm done."
"Hylla. Wait," Reyna began. The look of pure anger that came to Hylla's eyes caused Reyna to fall silent.
"I am not going to go down this road again," Hylla snapped. She turned and stormed out of the restaurant. Kinzie stood and started to walk forward. Then, she stopped and looked back at Reyna. It was like she wanted Reyna to go after Hylla, and Reyna did as well. She just couldn't.
Reyna looked at the table. She heard Kinzie walk away a moment later. Reyna let out a shaky breath and felt tears come to her eyes. She was trying her hardest, but Hylla didn't understand that. She didn't know how hard it was for Reyna to even begin letting people in.
Hylla didn't know, or she didn't care. She was just going to kick Reyna out of her life once again after dangling the thought of a relationship in her face. Anger filled Reyna's veins. She wasn't just going to let it happen. Not this time.
Reyna stood and stormed out of the restaurant. As she made it outside, she saw Hylla and Kinzie across the parking lot. Hylla had both hands on a car and seemed to be taking deep breaths. Kinzie was rubbing her back and telling her to calm down.
"So, you're just going to abandon me again," Reyna snapped as she made it closer to them. Hylla looked at her and glared. Reyna glared back. "Why can't you understand how hard this is for me? You already kicked me out of your life once. I know you're going to do it again."
"Both of you need to calm down," Kinzie began.
"You need to shut up and stay out of this," Reyna hissed.
"Don't talk to her like that," Hylla ordered. She stepped in front of Kinzie. Reyna closed the distance between her and her sister. She glared up at her sister and clenched her fist angrily. Hylla's fists were clenched, and for a few moments, Reyna thought they were going to get into a fistfight.
Then, Hylla turned away and spoke, "I nearly drank myself to death after you left."
"You're the one who told me to leave and never come back," Reyna said. She let out a shaky and angry breath. "It's your damn fault!"
"The stress of trying to raise you and provide for both of us pushed me beyond my limit," Hylla said. She looked down. "The guilt didn't help any. I know you hate me for what happened."
"Am I suppose to be happy that you kicked me out?" Reyna demanded. She wanted Hylla to get angry as well and yell at her. Instead, Hylla sounded eerily calm. It almost sounded like she had given up.
"Not about that," Hylla said. She shook her head and walked towards the car door. Hylla unlocked it.
"Wait," Reyna said. She walked towards Hylla and grabbed her arm. "What are you talking about?"
"I know you hate me because father died," Hylla muttered. She pulled her arm away and didn't even look back.
"Why would I hate you for that?" Reyna questioned. "I would never blame you for our father killing himself."
"You don't remember?" Hylla asked, and she turned towards Reyna. There were tears in her eyes.
"No. I had that accident with my bike earlier that day," Reyna began. A small smile came to Hylla's face, and she laughed disbelieving
"I didn't think you actually believed that lie," Hylla said. Reyna looked at her in absolute confusion. Hylla had told her before that Reyna had a bike accident, and after she brought Reyna home from the hospital, she had walked in on the results of their father's suicide. Reyna never had the heart to ask more and couldn't even remember that day herself.
Hylla met Reyna's eyes and grabbed her shoulders tightly. She continued, "I came home late from school that day. Father was already in a foul mood, and I walked in on him yelling at you."
"I knew it wasn't the right time, but I didn't care. I told father that I wanted him to meet my date for the school dance: a girl. That look of rage on father's face was like nothing I had ever seen before. He accused me of trying to ruin our family by being queer. I couldn't continue the legacy of our family if I didn't have children," Hylla said.
"I told him to go to hell, and he threatened to kill me. When he grabbed his gun, that damned thing he always carried, from his holster, you tried to stop him. You grabbed his hand, and he punched you right in the face," Hylla whispered. Her thumb rested on Reyna's eyebrow, right where her scar was. "The ring mother gave him busted you right open, and he threw you backward."
"Your head cracked against the table with this sickening thud. I thought you were dead," Hylla whispered. There were tears in her eyes. Reyna stared at her sister and felt tears coming to her own eyes. "You didn't move, and I felt this anger in my chest. I never felt anything like it before. Father didn't even look at you. He just turned towards me and started to raise his gun."
"We fought for the gun," Hylla continued. A pained smile came to her face. "I won that one, and I shot him. Part of me thinks it was an accident, but I honestly don't know. I shot him, and I couldn't stop the bleeding. I tried so hard, but when I realized it was useless, I rushed to your side."
"I never felt that anger again. Until that night. We got into our argument, and I felt that anger in my chest. I was scared about what I was going to do. That is why I yelled for you to leave and not come back. I thought you would be pissed for a few hours. Maybe a day."
"I didn't think that you wouldn't come back. If I had known, I never would have told you to leave. I spent every day waiting for you to come back, and I looked for you. I went to the police, but no one could find you. Then, you show up at my door one day and acted like I was a stranger to you. All I wanted was to find you again, and when I did, it felt like we weren't even sisters anymore."
"Reyna, I have done everything I can. I went to counseling for my anger. I have tried talking to you every week, but you turn me away at every point. I can't do this anymore, Reyna. If you don't want me in your life, just tell me," Hylla finished.
"I do," Reyna whispered. She felt tears leak out from her eyes, and Hylla gently brushed her tears away. "It's so hard, Hylla. You told me to get out of your house. How could you just do that to me?"
"I thought you hated me for what I did to father," Hylla whispered. Reyna shook her head and tried to keep her tears contained, but it was no use. Hylla was starting to cry just as bad as her.
"I didn't even know," Reyna cried. She hugged Hylla tightly and buried her face in Hylla's chest. Reyna didn't know how to feel about what she had heard. Their father had been an abusive monster, but to learn that Hylla killed him to protect Reyna, that was something she didn't know how to handle.
"The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you like I hurt him," Hylla whispered. She hugged Reyna close and rubbed her back. "That is why I told you to get out. I never wanted you to leave. I'm so sorry, Reyna."
"Please don't leave me now," Reyna begged. She choked on her cry and tried to calm down. "I'm doing my best."
Hylla didn't answer. She just held Reyna close and rubbed her back. Reyna cried miserably into her sister's chest and felt Hylla's tears falling soon after. She tightened her grip and made a vow to herself. It didn't matter how painful it was. It didn't matter how awkward it would be. Reyna would repair her relationship with her sister.