Many thanks to Tiruna Jerino. For helping with my typing mistakes.

Chapter 10

panic

"I have an announcement to make before we begin the feast." said Dumbledore. "Our new Defense against the dark arts teacher is Mr Sall Deen!"

"Sall's the idiot who wrote all those books," Calvin whispered to Hobbes.

Sall stood up.

He had a long nose, red hair, a baseball cap that said "Stupidity makes the world go 'round.", a red short sleeve shirt on (which looked strange in a place full people dressed in black robes), blue shorts, and a stupid expression on his face.

He opened his arms out and screamed at an unnatural volume, "FELLOW STUDENTS!"

Everyone stared at him.

"MY NAME IS MR. SALL! WHICH IS SHORT FOR SALLY!"

Calvin noticed spit flying from his mouth as he spoke.

"BEFORE WE BEGIN THE YEAR, I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU ALL A VERY LONG AND BORING SPEECH BY THOMAS JEFFERSON."

He pulled a rolled up piece of parchment out of his pocket, and let it unravel. It was six feet long. "WE THE PEOPLE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…!"

Calvin doubted that it was by Thomas Jefferson.

(Time passed)

"…THUS CONCLUDING THE LONG AND BORING SPEECH BY THOMAS JEFFERSON. WHOEVER WANTS ME TO READ IT AGAIN, RAISE THEIR HANDS."

Nobody did.

"NOW I'M GOING TO SING THE HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY THEME SONG!"

"I'm afraid we don't have time for that, Sally," said Dumbledore

"OH, DARN! WELL, MAYBE NEXT TIME!" Sally sat down.

Calvin and Hobbes all of a sudden burst out laughing at Sally's stupidity. They were both rolling around on the floor, and screaming with laughter.

Sally jumped up, and began bowing left and right, as if thinking that the laughter was clapping.

This made Calvin and Hobbes laugh harder. Soon the entire Great Hall was roaring with laughter, as Sally blew kisses all over the place, and continued to bow.

McGonagall turned a glare on Dumbledore, and forced Sally back into his seat. At last the laughter subsided, and the feast began.

Then Calvin noticed Snape. He was glaring at Sally, who at the moment, was drooling on his food with a vacant expression, and his finger shoved up his nose.

Calvin stared at Sally.Then began to snicker.Before he lost control and burst out laughing again, Hobbes grabbed Calvin's head, and turned him away from Sally.

Later, when Harry felt like he'd rather be in the common room, he walked toward the doors. Once outside, Harry saw Dumbledore.

Dumbledore rushed up to Harry.

"Harry," he said. "I'd like you to meet me in my office at nine o'clock tonight." Then, without another word, he left.

Harry blinked.

"Hey first years!" yelled Ron. "Over here." All the eager little first years, and Calvin, walked up to Ron. "OK," said Ron. "The common room is this way."

"How common is it?" asked Calvin. Ron stared at him

"What?" he asked.

"The common room." replied Calvin. "How common is it?"

Ron stared at Calvin.

"It's just CALLED the common room. It's not 'common'."

"Why's it called a common room if it's not common?" asked Calvin.

"It's called a common room because… this way, first years!"

"You shouldn't call us that! I hate the ring to 'first years'! How 'bout something like: 'this way, my superiors!'"

Hermonie rolled her eyes, and led the first years away. Calvin, of course, was not content just to follow the G.R.O.S.S. enemy (he's talking about Hermonie). So, he pulled out his wand.

Calvin flipped through his Standard book of spells thing, and came to what he was looking for. Before anyone noticed him, Calvin shouted "WATERIOUS!"

SPLASH!

A huge water balloon slammed into Hermonie's head! She spun around.

There stood the most magnificent boy on Earth, staring up at Hermonie with his big baby eyes.

Hermonie narrowed her eyes to slits.

"Who threw that?" she asked.

"Ma, ma." said wholesome Calvin.

Hermonie's eyes locked on Calvin.

"Did you throw that at me?" she snarled. Calvin's baby eyes wilted.

He studied Hermonie's face, then pointed at Hobbes.

"It was ALL his idea, Miss Green-dark"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

The first years then continued on the trip. Soon Calvin got so bored, he couldn't stand it.

He looked around for a form of entertainment.

He spotted Sir Cadogan asleep in his portrait.

"Just ignore him." said Ron. "Don't make any noise that'll wake him up."

Calvin grinned.

"Hey, Cadogan!" whispered Calvin. "Your mother wore army boots! Stinking army boots! Her dirty socks were smelly, too. She has ringworm on her nose, and picks it all the time! So there!"

Cadogan's head shot up. "Halt, you surly dogs!" he yelled, waving his sword.

Ron groaned as Cadogan chased after them waving his sword, and yelling threats about what he'd do when he caught them.

Calvin muttered laughs, and continued to whisper insults to him.

"…and speaking of ugly, your mother must have been a compost pile! What else could make such a horrible mistake?"

Cadogan screamed and yelled, and chased after the group. Soon, Ron got sick of it, and spun around with his wand pointing at the picture he was in.

"RON!" Hermonie snapped. "Just ignore him."

Just then, Ron saw Calvin whispering a insult to the insane knight. Ron started to lunge for Calvin, when Hermonie held him back. Calvin spun around, and stared in shock at Ron.

"Daa daa not hurt Cally, would 'e?" squeaked Calvin, putting on his baby eyes.

Ron glared ice picks at Mr. Perfect, then turned around, and continued his treacherous mission to the common room. At last, Sir Cadogan stopped chasing them, and Calvin started to get bored, again.

At last, they reached the portrait of the fat lady. "Password?" she asked. Before Ron could answer, Calvin shoved him out of the way, and yelled. "YES! I love this game! Is it, porkchop?"

"No." said the fat lady.

"Drooling turkey?"

"No."

"Ten thousand teddy bears brush their teeth with apple sauce?"

"No."

"How much money did I lose?"

Ron was about to kick Calvin out of the way when Hermonie said, "banda-inki"

"Correct" said the fat lady.

"YES!" Screamed Calvin jumping up and down like a crazy jumping bean. "IT WAS TOENAIL INNARDS!"

Ron rolled his eyes, and led the kids into the common room. "You will spend your free time in here." he said, pointing at the common room. "You will sleep in either the…"

"I KNOW THE RULES, YOU DROOLING, RED HAIRED MANIAC! BOYS SLEEP IN BOY'S ROOM, AND THE G.R.O.S.S. ENEMY'S SLEEP IN THE GIRL'S ROOM! WHAT DO YO THINK I AM, A BRAINLESS MONKEY, LIKE YOU!"

Ron closed his eyes, counted to ten, then opened them again. He was about to continue when Calvin muttered "brainless monkey". Ron whipped out his wand, and before Hermonie could do anything, yelled, "ANILIOUS!"

Calvin screamed, as a bolt of lighting shot from Ron's wand. Calvin dodged the blast, and lay quivering in the corner, and yelling, "I've been hit! I'm dying! Goodbye world! Cruel world! Cruel unforgiving world!"

"RON!" Hermonie yelled. "How dare you send a electric spell at our new student!"

While Ron and Hermonie argued, Hobbes crawled out from the crowd, and kicked Calvin. "Get up, bozo, you haven't been hit."

Calvin's eyes opened. "Is this heaven?" Hobbes kicked him, again.

"GET UP!" he yelled.

Calvin crawled up, and glared at Hobbes.

"What are YOU doing here?" he asked.

Hobbes heaved a great sigh, and let his chin fall to his chest.

"Okay," said Calvin a little later. "Our first stop on the ticket to magic is… POTIONS! LETS GO!"

Calvin and Hobbes ran down the hallway toward the dungeons.

Calvin and Hobbes burst in. Snape was there. Calvin took his seat, and stared up at Snape with his usual perfect boy act. Snape glared at them.

"Today," he said. "We will be…"

He stopped. Calvin was shoving something into his bag. He decided to ignore it.

"Today, we will study the use of dragon blood."

Calvin was shoving something else into his bag. Snape ignored him.

"Calvin, what are the five uses for -"

BOOM!

Suddenly, the bag Calvin had exploded. Snape's eyes bulged. Calvin, covered in ash and soot, rolled his eyes over at Snape, who had a vicious expression on his face.

"Oops." Calvin said flawlessly. "Me got a big boo-boo on my finger-winger!"

Baby talk didn't work with Snape. (Nothing ever does.) He got a week's worth of detention.

The next day, Hobbes had a chance to meet Harry.

Harry was sitting in the common room, doing some of Snape's homework. Hobbes walked up to him.

"Hello." he said.

Harry looked up "Oh, hello." Hobbes sat down in a chair.

"My name's Hobbes." he said.

Harry nodded. "Hello Hobbes." There was a moment of silence.

Then, "Are you human?" asked Harry.

Hobbes shook his head. "Nope. I'm the all-mighty tiger! One of nature's most perfect beasts." Harry frowned "Do they let animals into the school for learning?" he asked.

"It was Calvin who received the letter. I'm just along for ride."

Hobbes' eyes drifted up to Harry's forehead, but his scar was covered up by his hair. What he did see, was that his hair was stained with blood. "What happened there?" Hobbes asked.

Harry ran his finger through the blood stained hair. "Nothing," he said.

Hobbes stared at Harry. He looked like he didn't want to discus the subject any further. Hobbes let out a big yawn, and Harry saw teeth that were shining.. Just like the tall figure in his dream.

Just then, Calvin came running up.

"HOBBES!" he yelled in the exact same voice that the shorter one had used. "COME ON! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR OUR FIRST FUTURE TELLING LESSON!"

Hobbes stood up, and Calvin and Hobbes seemed the exact same height of what the two figures were in Harry's dream.

"Whatever." said Hobbes. "See ya, Harry."

Harry got up. "I was just getting ready to go to Divination, too." He said. Then stopped. "Wait a minute, you're first years, you don't go to Divination yet!" Calvin grinned up at Harry. "Professor McGonagall says I'm an advanced student, and that I should jump ahead."

Both Harry and Hobbes knew that Professor McGonagall said that to keep his destructive mind out of the common room, but Hobbes had no objection to learning what's in his future. So he, Calvin, and Harry made their way to the Divination classroom. A few minutes into it, Calvin was called. Professor Trelawney was starting the year off by telling everybody their futures in a glass ball.

"Ooo" said Trelawney. "Interesting. I see your mother scolding someone who looks just like you, for… ripping the curtains!"

Calvin's eyes bulged, and his lips raised up revealing gritted teeth. "Oh, that stupid duplicate!" Calvin muttered. "When I get my hands on him…"

"Hobbes! This image appears to be for you." Trelawney said.

Hobbes pushed Calvin out of the way, and stared at the crystal ball.

"You and your "friend" are standing in the middle of a graveyard. Your friend is dressed in a red hood and cape, and is screaming… hold on… yes I do believe he is screaming something about a person named Stupendous man. And - ooh, a figure laying on the ground not ten feet from you! Oh… it's starting to fade. It's gone."

Hobbes stared at the ball. "Uh-huuuh…" he shrugged and turned around. Harry was sitting in his seat a look of total panic on his face. Hobbes saw it, but didn't know what it meant…

Until four months later.