Swing123: Sorry about this big holdup.

Chapter 13

Calvin went down the stairs, grumbling.

He came to the picture of the fat lady.

"Password." She said.

"Pickltis! Now lemme in! I gotta a bone to pick with a tiger!"

The fat lady rolled her eyes, and then swung open.

Hobbes was sitting in a chair, talking and laughing with Harry and his friends.

Calvin stormed over to him, and started screaming

"YOU MORON! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT I HAD TO SPENT THREE HOURS SINGING HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY WITH THE STUPIDEST MAN ON EARTH!"

Hobbes gave a kind of shocked look.

"MY fault? How is it MY fault?" He asked.

"YOU WHISPERED 'A CASE MR BULLET! WILL YOU TAKE IT?' IN MY EAR!"

Hobbes grinned. "No I didn't. You can't prove a thing."

Harry Ron and Hermonie stared at Calvin then at Hobbes, then back at Calvin.

Calvin crossed his arms.

"Buddy, I know you did and so do you!"

Hobbes grinned again.

"Well my, aren't you Mr. Sunshine, today?" He said.

"THAT DOES IT!" Calvin whipped out his wand.

But Hobbes was to quick. "I like dueling!" Said Hobbes, holding his wand up.

Calvin pointed his wand at Hobbes.

"EXPELLIARMIS!" He screamed.

Hobbes ducked.

The blast ended up going into the fireplace, making an unnecessary fire.

Hobbes clapped.

"Bravo! BraVO!"

Calvin prepared to fire another blast, when Hobbes picked him up, by the scruff of his robes.

"Now, Now, Witto Cawvin-wawvin, oo don't want to HURT anybody with your nasty wandy!" He said, knocking the wand out of Calvin's hands.

"Why, you stinkin' rotton, smelly, piece of junk!"

Hobbes grinned, and carried Calvin over to the trash can.

"HEY? WHAT ARE DOING! GET AWAY FROM THAT TRASH CAN! I'M WARNING YOU!"

Hobbes opened the lid.

Sssss! Rustle, rustle! Clang!

Hobbes slammed the lid shut.

Calvin banged on the lid, but Hobbes had put a 10 minute sticking charm to the lid.

"YOU MORON! WHEN I GET OUT HERE, I'LL..."

But Calvin's words were unheard by anyone outside, for the simple fact, that Hobbes had also put a force field around the trash can.

But Calvin heard THEM talking.

They were continuing their conversation as if Calvin had never come in.

"When I get my hands on that stupid tiger, I'll tear him to shreds!" He thought.

Later that day, Calvin and Hobbes had gone to... "Welcome to your first flying lesson." said Madam Hooch. "To bring your broom up, you say 'up'"

Calvin stared at the broom.

"DOWN!" He screamed.

The broom raised into the air, then slammed into the ground making a small crater.

Calvin's eyes rolled upward. Madam Hooch was glaring at him.

"UP!" Screamed Calvin.

The broom rocketed into the air.

Calvin grabbed it, but the broom wasn't content just sit in Calvin's hands.

"AAAAAA! HELP!"

Hobbes watched Calvin with great interest.

Calvin swung up onto his broom. He stared around in shock.

Then stared back at the ground.

YIKES!

Everyone bellow him looked like ants.

Calvin grabbed the broom, and leaned forward.

The broom lurched.

Calvin screamed.

He was still rising into the air.

Calvin's eyes bulged.

Everyone on the ground looked like little black dots!

Madam Hooch grabbed her broom, and rose up into the air.

She came up to Calvin. "Calvin push down!"

Calvin stared at her.

"ARE YOU MAD! I'LL BE SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE GROUNDS!"

"If you fall, I'll catch you!" Madam Hooch said. "Now push down!"

Calvin began to lean downward.

The broom suddenly fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Calvin screamed.

Madam Hooch dove after him.

Calvin grabbed the broom handle, and pulled upward.

The broom went up.

Calvin jerked the handle left.

The broom turned.

Calvin grinned.

"This is fun!" He thought.

He leaned forward, and the broom began to pick up speed.

"The amazing Spaceman Spiff rockets away from the evil foamieans who pursue him!"

Calvin turned his head.

Madam Hooch chased after him.

Calvin grinned. "You will never catch me you maggots from Mars!" He screamed.

"CALVIN! LAND! NOW!" Madam Hooch replied.

Calvin laughed, and leaned farther.

Calvin then turned and zapped toward Hobbes.

Hobbes' eyes looked like plates, as Calvin crashed into him.

"THAT'S FOR YESTERDAY YOU STINKING FUZZ BALL!"

Hobbes glared at Calvin and showed his fangs.

Uh-oh.

Hobbes grabbed his broom, and rocketed after him.

Now he had two people after him.

Calvin flipped, and he flew over Madam Hooch, and Hobbes, while upside down.

Both had to screech to a halt, and change direction.

Calvin turned his head.

"COME AND GET ME YOU EVIL CREATURES!"

Oops.

Calvin's broom slammed into a passing Harry, knocking him out cold.

"Oops, sorry!"

In the process of talking to the unconscious Harry, Calvin's broom slammed into another sixth year.

Ron.

"Oops. Sorry Run!"

Hobbes almost caught Calvin, but didn't. Calvin turned his head.

"HA! NONE CAN CATCH THE ALL MIGHTY SPACEMAN..."

CRASH!

Calvin slammed right into the wall of Hogwarts.

The broom snapped in two, and Calvin screamed.

"AAAA! I'VE BEEN PARALYZED! I'M DYING! HELP! HELP! HELP!"

Hobbes walked over to him.

"Calvin, the BROOM hit the wall. You didn't."

Calvin opened his eyes.

"Hobbes what are you talking about? I've been permanently paralyzed and..."

Calvin's finger twitched.

"Wow! I can move again! It's a medical miracle!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

It was then that Madam Hooch ran up.

"Calvin!" She gasped. " Under normal circumstances I would have you expelled! But since you have just been put into a state of shock, I'll let it pass."

Calvin grinned.

"Hot dog!" He said jumping up. Just then, Professor Sally came lumbering up to Calvin.

"Oh no!" He yelled, stupidly. "Those poor quiditch players!"

Calvin stared at Sally. "What? Oh, them."

Sally rushed up to the unconscious Harry and Ron.

"And darn the luck! They have a match tomorrow! THEY CAN'T COME!"

Calvin grinned. "Really? THEY CAN'T!"

"Oh great." Said Hobbes.

The next day, Calvin and Hobbes were at the hospital wing, visiting Harry and Ron.

"I'm extremely sorry, you can't come to the quackitch match." Said Calvin. "And I'm just heart broken that we have to take your place!"

Hobbes kicked Calvin away from the bed.

"I really am sorry that certain un-named parties put you in this condition, Harry." He said.

Harry glared ice picks at Calvin.

"Fine." He said, turning his head away.

Hobbes glared at Calvin, who was standing at the door of the hospital wing, tapping his foot impatiently.

Later Calvin and Hobbes were at the Quiditch field.

"Boy Hobbes, what luck!" Said Calvin, holding up his broom.

Hobbes mounted his broom.

"I still can't believe we're gonna play Quiditch." He said.

Madam Hooch came onto the field, stared at Calvin, shook her head, and walked into the middle of the field.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" She blew her whistle, and threw the quafle into the air.

Whoosh!

In a second, and I mean instantly Calvin was gone.

Hobbes, and the other Grinfondor team pushed off as well.

Hobbes looked around for Calvin.

At last he spotted him.

He was streaking around the audience, bowing his head and throwing kisses to everyone.

He was paying NO attention at all to the game.

Hobbes rocketed over to the Grifondor score hoop and turned to the Quaffle, which was in a Slytherin's hands.

Hobbes hummed to himself, reached his hand out, and flexed his claws.

Hobbes' claws came right into the chaser's face, and he dropped the ball.

Hobbes grabbed it, and threw it back into the game, with the Slytherin clutching his face.

Meanwhile, Calvin had finished wasting his time, and was in the process of looking for the Snich.

Just then, Calvin saw something gold.

ZOOM!

Calvin dived at it and... oops... slammed right into McGonagal's gold hat.

CRASH!

Calvin bolted out of the way while McGonagal screamed and yelled at him.

Meanwhile, Hobbes was having no trouble at all keeping the quaffle away from the score goal.

He yawned, and continued swiping at any Slitherine player that dared come near the three goals.

At last, the players gave up trying to score, and just tried to beat Calvin to the snitch.

That, however, wasn't an easy job.

Calvin kept slamming into the side of Malfoy, disabling him to keep his attention on the game.

Just then, When Malfoy was out of Calvin's range, he ploted his revenge. With the help of two other green players, Malfoy started to close in on Calvin.

Calvin looked around.

The players were bolting at Calvin from all directions.

But, When Calvin hit a little button on the broom marked "escape", ZOOM!

He vanished, and the players all slammed into each other.

It was then that Calvin noticed something gold in the middle of the field.

At almost light speed, he dove after it.

Then he noticed Malfoy coming after him, with a wide grin on his face.

"No log like that is going to outrun my nimbus 2001" He screamed.

Calvin put the broom into 'fire and a cloud of smoke' mode, and the broom began to gain speed.

Calvin reached his hand out, but in the process of doing so, he had hit the "escape" button with his foot.

ZAP!

The Snich fell into his hands, and he went zooming off.

Calvin's fists closed over the flying ball, as he fell into the back of the broom.

Calvin heard his broom make sonic 'pops'.

Calvin tried to reach the escape button again, but he couldn't reach...

CRASH!

But he didn't have the time to, because at that very moment, he crashed into a wall.

He fell off the broom, and the Snich escaped.

Harry, apparently cured, then zoomed over.

"Calvin!" Harry yelled.

Calvin groaned.

"Calvin, I've got to tell you something!"

Calvin sat up.

He stared the wall.

"What do YOU want, Hobbes?" He asked the wall.

"I'm over here." Said Harry. "And my name is Harry."

"Whatever." Calvin spun around.

"Calvin," Harry said ignoring the narrator scream "GRIFFONDOR WINS!" "Calvin, you're terrible danger!"

Calvin stared at him.

"What?" He asked.

Hobbes walked up just then.

Calvin turned to him.

"Hobbes, did you hear that?" He asked the tiger. "Yup. He said that we were terrible players and the danger that we're in did something or other." Replied Hobbes as if they were discussing the weather.

Calvin turned back to Harry.

"What are talking about?" He asked the sixth year wizard.

Harry sighed, and told them about his dream.

Calvin let out a gasp.

Hobbes' eyes bulged.

And Harry rubbed his forehead.

There was a moment of silence.

Then Calvin said "so we're gonna end up fighting Voldy-mort?"

Harry nodded. "But I bet you can change that, by..."

Harry was cut off by Calvin screaming, "THAT WILL BE SO COOL!"

Harry stared at him.

"W-what?" Harry stammered.

"Fight Vol-duh- fort? That will be FUN!" Calvin screamed.

Harry rolled his eyes around.

"If you insist." Harry said, Then stepping away from the little lunatic.

Calvin and Hobbes rushed back up to Harry.

"When do you suppose it'll happen?" Hobbes asked worryingly.

Harry shook his head.

"I don't know if it's even going to happen." He said.

Calvin was jumping around in circles. "OH, I CAN'T WAIT! THAT WILL BE SOOOOOOO FUN!"

"We've got to go to the DADA, guys." Said Harry changing the subject.

Calvin stared him.

"And listen to THAT idiot drone on about how kill an ant? NO WAY, BUDDY! LET'S GO TO POTIONS!" He and Hobbes raced off toward the school.

Harry sighed, and wondered what who was dumber? Sally, or Calvin?

Calvin sat dungeons in which Snape was.

He glared at Calvin and Hobbes.

Then began the class.

Calvin stared at his ingredients, then at the caldron, then at the blackboard in which the instructions were.

"Gad! This is boring!" Calvin thought. "Oh what the heck."

He grabbed random ingredients, and shoved them into the caldron.

After about five minutes of this, BOOM!

The caldron exploded.

Everyone turned and stared at Calvin.

He had ash all over him.

He shook the dust off, and stared at the liquid that was on the desk.

Snape walked over to it.

"Never," he spat. "In my entire life, have seen such an IDIOT!"

Calvin glared at him.

Then at Hobbes, who had just perfected HIS, and was grinning at Calvin.

Snape stuck his long finger into yellow goo that was on the table.

"100 points from Grif..." He tried pulled his finger out of the goo.

But his finger was stuck.

He tried to push it off with his other hand.

All he succeeded in, was getting his other hand stuck.

He tried to rub it off onto the desk.

No luck there.

Soon, he had yellow goo all over him.

He turned a angry look onto Calvin

"200 points from Gryffindor!" He yelled.

He tried to pull his wand out of his pocket, but he was so messed up, he couldn't move.

Calvin watched Snape fall over and struggle with the goo.

A grin formed over his face.

"Ya know Snapey," Calvin said. "This really is worth 200 points!"

At this everyone started to laugh.

Before Snape could answer, Sally burst into the room.

"Rubber Band Snap?" He said, stupidly. "Where's my Happy Snails the movie DVD?"

Snape turned a hot glare on him. "I don't now where your stupid tape is! Get out of my life, you bumbling idiot!"

Calvin clapped his hands.

"Couldn't have said it better my self, Rubber Band Snap! (Tee-hee)" Calvin chuckled.

"No need to get touche!" Sally said.

He turned to Calvin "oh and Balvin? Your singing on Happy, Happy, Happy Was incredible! I like how you changed the words to 'you are the stupidest thing I've ever saw in my life!' 3,000 points to Gryfondor!"

And with that, he slammed the door.

Snape glared at the door.

"My, my," said Calvin "200 points FROM Gryffindor, then 3,000 points TO Gryffindor! How fortunate."

Snape glared at Calvin.

"Detention, Calvin." He said coldly.

Meanwhile, everyone in the DADA room were waiting for the stupid to get there.

At last, he burst in.

"HELLO LEARNERS!" He screamed. "Say hello to your superior!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Today, we will study the terror of glasess!"

Just then, he spotted Harry's glasses, planted firmly on his face.

"HOLY GRAVY!" Sally screamed. "I SHALL SAVE YOU!"

He zipped over to Harry, grabbed his glasses, threw them on the floor, and started banging his head into the glasses.

Then he stood up, shards of glass were sticking out of his face, as he grinned at the students.

Hermonie gritted her teeth, walked up to Sally, pointed her wand at his face and said, "repairo"

Harry's glasses surged back together.

She handed Harry his glasses, and then sat back down, glaring at Sally.

Sally seemed to take no notice of Hermonie or Harry's glasses anymore.

Instead, he sat down, at his desk.

He stared at all his students with his empty eyes, then said (and this is a direct quote) he said, "nappy time, students."

Then, he slammed his head into his desk, and instantly fell asleep, with his disgusting snore echoing through the room.

Ron didn't know Calvin would have done to Sally if he was there, but it would have been loud, and weird.

Hermonie was thinking about her other homework as she always did these days, not listening to Sally's babble.

Harry however, wasn't thinking about either one, he was watching the clock.

Fifteen more minutes of insanity, and Sally and Harry would be looking for Sirius.

Fourteen minutes.

Thirteen minutes.

Ten minutes...