Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!
mjmm – I'm really going to need the luck you wished me for next semester. So thanks a bunch!
Chynna Punkin – Thanks for the compliment regarding my word choices! It's good to see you back!
Rhonda – Glad to see that you're still reading!
Okay next chapter. Brace yourselves it's loooong with a Capital L…
Chapter Forty-three
In this darkness, this sea of nothingness, Sean could feel it, a sweet presence drawing him from this hell, speaking to his soul. She was telling him she loved him; yes it was a she he faintly deciphered, a woman whom he recognized, a woman who was connected to the deepest part of his being. Who was she; who was this beautiful spirit that was awakening his mind, ending the heaviness in his limbs, filling him with hope in this world of darkness? Then gradually he knew. Gradually who she was flooded his soul – "Marita" He sighed aloud; hearing her name echo around him. He could feel her so strongly now, drawing him to her, drawing him to life. The darkness then began to abate, diminishing into a soft light that slowly illuminated his soul. Sean uttered her name once more, wanting so much to reach her, to be closer to her. When suddenly he came to the surface, a wave of love propelling him forward, taking him where he wanted to go, taking him back to Marita…
"Marita." Sean croaked weakly.
"Sean I'm here." Marita uttered tearfully, still holding his hand as she watched the miracle of him opening his eyes.
Sean slowly turned his attention in her direction and for a moment his breath ceased upon seeing her beautiful face. "You're here." He stated hoarsely, love flowing through his heart.
"Always." Marita whispered; her heart aching with joy at the sight of his blue gaze. "How do you feel?" She then asked as she gently touched his cheek.
"Weak. Thirsty…" Sean quietly stated; his eyes languidly closing; then opening again.
"Thirsty?" Marita repeated lovingly a slight smile on her face. "Well I can fix that." She said softly as she turned her attention to the stand next to Sean's bed and poured him a glass of fresh water from the pitcher that was kept there.
"Honey I know that you're weak…" She said when she turned back to him. "But I need you to sit up. Just a little, so that you can take this water." She instructed caringly. Sean acknowledged what she'd said; then struggled to sit up, groaning, even with Marita's help.
"No stop." Marita quickly ordered when she saw the pain that he was in; immediately halting in pulling him up.
"I'm fine." Sean assured shakily as he managed to fully sit up. His breath now heavy from the strength it took. "Wha…what happened to me?" He questioned slowly as his mind began to recall bits and pieces of the events from three nights before.
"You don't remember?" Marita asked with worry.
"No…" Sean replied with a hint of frustration, trying desperately to understand all that had happened…
"It's okay." Marita tenderly soothed; her anxiety growing at his response. "You don't have to remember right now." She said. "Just take some water." She uttered softly as she carefully gave him the glass, being sure that he could hold it but she sat back down. Sean then slowly took a sip, letting the cool liquid wash down his parched throat, while his mind vigorously worked to remember what had gone on; He then took another sip; then another, and before long he'd drank several glasses of water, emptying the pitcher on the stand next to his bed.
"Better?" Marita queried adoringly as she took the glass from his hand, placing it on the night stand, before again taking his hand in hers.
"Yes…" Sean uttered huskily; his soul fluttering at her touch, while his mind continued to work, trying to put together all that had happened… "Oh my God Pa!" He suddenly asserted as the bits of his memory gradually formed a complete puzzle; reminding him of all that had happened at the Assemblyman's Dinner, and lastly how he'd tried to help his father before being knocked out himself.
"Sean he's fine." Marita quickly assured with emotion in her voice, reflecting the relief she now felt within. "He only suffered an injured shouldered." She disclosed when she saw the worry still present in his eyes.
"Thank God." Sean sighed, closing his eyes as the worry for his Pa slowly faded from his heart, and was replaced with feelings rich with affection for the woman at his side; Sean opened his eyes, returning his gaze to Marita, whose eyes brimmed with tears, mirroring the emotions that were coursing through him. He then reached over and touched her cheek, ignoring the severe soreness of his ribs, and brushed a tear away as it slowly flowed down her face. Their gazes remained locked emitting so many questions and emotions between them; emitting so much they wanted to say…
"Mar…Sean?" a voice said, shattering the spell between them, causing them both to turn their attention towards the door. "Oh my God!" Clay gasped. "You're awake!" He asserted; then suddenly ran back into the hall and yelled for his sisters, who were the only family home. Clay then re-entered the room, joy, love and disbelief on his face.
"Sean… Oh my God!" He uttered again as he came to stand aside Sean's bed; not knowing what else to say.
"Clay." Sean croaked as he reluctant removed his hand from Marita's face. Stifling a groan sprung by the physical pain the movement caused.
"How…When…"
"He just woke about a minute ago." Marita said answering the question Clay had difficulty getting out.
"This is unbelievable!" Clay declared in shock as he thought of the doctor's grim diagnosis. "We thought you weren't going to make it…"
"Clay what's goi…" Alice began as she and Lexy walked into the room, but her words faltered in mid sentence when she saw that Sean was awake.
"Sean!" Lexy asserted with shock and joy, before her sister could utter a response; Both girls then quickly made their way to Sean's bed immediately asserting their happiness and love: Asking him how he was feeling and if he was okay; stating that they were all so worried about him and that he must be starving being as he was out for three days. They then mentioned that he'd missed Thanksgiving, but corrected that there hadn't been much to miss; considering they'd all took turns holding vigil by his side. Sean could hardly get a word in; could hardly respond to all that he was learning, due to his sister's excited ramblings and Clay's eager interjections. And though Sean was happy to see them; happy that his siblings were there, he couldn't help the desire that craved so fiercely in his heart, which was to have more time with Marita alone…
"Is that Pa?" Clay questioned abruptly, drawing everyone's attention to the footfalls in the hall.
"Pa!" Lexy then yelled with excitement and moved for the door…
"Lexy what's wrong…" Ned exclaimed, fear in his voice as he entered the room; but ceased to speak when he saw his son sitting up in the bed. Ned couldn't believe it. He thought, as his mind recalled the prognosis all the doctors had given him; thinking how he'd been trying to prepare himself for the worst. Tears swelled in the man's eyes, and then he immediately made his way to Sean's bed, which prompted Marita to stand from her chair, reluctantly releasing Sean's hand; so that the man could be closer to his son.
"Marita…"
"It's okay." Marita assured, stopping Ned before he could protest her getting up. "I'm going to get more water." She said as she retrieved the pitcher and glass from the stand next to Sean's bed, knowing that he needed more fluids than what he'd taken in. "And I'll ask Mabeline to start a pot of soup." She added as she returned her eyes to Sean, whose heart rushed with an intense love at understanding her choice to give him time alone with his family.
"Thank you." Ned said, also understanding what Marita was doing. The young woman then stepped out of the man's way and quietly left the room; but not before glancing back at Sean and thanking God that he was alive and well.
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Fifteen minutes later…
The Logan's had moved on from any serious discussions and were now engaging in the normal, agreeable and sometimes disputing banter that came with having a semi-large family. After Marita exited the room, Ned had asked his son how he felt, expressing to him how happy he was to have him back, and from there they'd briefly discussed the attack; why it may have happened and if Sean remembered anything. Sean had said that he remembered nothing after he'd been knocked out. And had then asked if there had been any more violence due to all that had happened at the The Dinner; Ned had stated that there had been none, but had informed his son of the lost business and the guards he'd placed around the property. Sean had been relieved to hear that nothing more had gone on, which had somehow led to a discussion of Marita. Alice and Lexy had eagerly broached the subject, while Clay had remained quiet, still not believing his brother could be so irresponsible. The girls had ceaselessly questioned Sean about his feelings, who openly professed his love for Marita. Lexy had then put her brother on the spot, excitedly asking him if he was going to marry the young woman, but before Sean could give his sister an answer, Ned had scolded his daughter, telling her how inappropriate such a question was; after which the subject had then changed again, moving on to another one of Lexy's eager ideas…
"Pa can we have a party to celebrate Sean waking up!" Lexy asked excitedly.
"Uh Lexy no way!" Clay sighed. "He just opened his eyes" He said.
"So…."
"We should do Thanksgiving Dinner instead." Alice interjected.
"That's even worse."
"What?"
"We can't do Thanksgiving after it's gone."
"Clay you're such a…"
"Kids kids…" Ned exclaimed, attempting, unsuccessfully, to stop the squabbling, as an amused Sean looked on, feeling a surge of joy at being alive and apart of this family.
"Why don't we just ask Sean what he wants?" Lexy proposed, bringing about sighs and groans from Alice and Clay. "Sean what do you think about a party?" she asked as she turned her gaze to her brother.
"Lexy…" Sean began tiredly, but hesitated not knowing how to tell his sister that he didn't want a party, that being with the family and Marita was enough, without disappointing her.
"Honey let's hold off on the party planning for now." Ned interjected, understanding Sean's reluctance to answer. "We can discuss it more when Sean…"
"Sean!" A voice gasped, interrupting Ned's response and prompting everyone to look towards the door. "Thank God you're okay." Vivian continued as she hurried into the room, while all looked on with bewilderment and shock.
"Vivian what are you doing here?" Ned asked with bafflement in his voice.
"Mr. Logan I know that you think that I shouldn't be out so soon after my accident." The woman answered as she came up on Sean's bed, prompting Clay to move aside out of respect. "But I had to see Se…Oh look at you." She gasped at seeing the bruises on Sean's face. "I'm so sorry I haven't visited sooner…" She said now grabbing Sean's hand, who was stunned and befuddled by Vivian's behavior. "But I was ill myself." She explained. "And when I recovered father still wouldn't allow me to come for fear that I'd have another fainting spell. In fact I shouldn't be away from the estate now. But you're to be my husband thus…"
"Hus…"
"I found one more family member!" Marita interrupted as she and Jeremy walked into the room. Both nearly stopping when they saw Vivian standing at Sean's bed, holding his hand; both wondering what was going on, with a twinge of hurt accompanying Marita's bemused emotions.
"Come on in!" Ned urged, forcing excitement in his voice; not knowing how else to handle the awkward situation. Jeremy and Marita then resumed a quicker pace into the room; with Jeremy walking over to Sean's bed, who'd pulled his hand from Vivian at the sight of Marita. Jeremy instantly engaged in conversation with Sean and the family, while Marita made her way to one of the dressers in the room and sat down the pitcher of water and clean glasses she'd brought up.
"So where again are you from?" Vivian asked Jeremy inserting herself into the conversation.
"New York." The boy answered cautiously, still wondering what the woman was doing there. And why she was asking such a question.
"Ah New York." Vivian sighed. "There're so many things I don't remember…"
"What do you mean there's so much you don't remember?" Lexy blatantly asked.
"You mean you don't know?" Vivian questioned, skillfully feigning confusion.
"Know what?" Ned queried.
"Oh my God I thought you knew." Vivian said; her voice cracking with emotion as she scanned the Logan's baffled faces, who were all eagerly awaiting an explanation. "Father told me you all knew…" She lied without detection.
"Knew what?" Clay pushed.
"I can't…" She stopped, briefly closing her eyes and taking a breath before continuing. "I can't remember." She cried.
"Vivian what are you saying?" Sean quietly asked confusion in his voice. "Vivian?" He pressed when the woman didn't immediately answer.
"The accident…it did something to me…" She fibbed, being careful not to trip herself up. "…I can't remember our engagement…the party. Or the past few months we've shared." She confessed tearfully – convincingly. "The only thing I can recall... is us planning to announce our wedding plans." The Logans were stunned and felt bad for poor Vivian. They immediately understood what was going on; why she was there; Deducing that her memory lapse was the source of it all; while Marita, who still stood at the dresser across the room, withheld her shock by leaning against the furniture that was in front of her.
"Vivian…" Sean began, planning to tell the woman that they were no longer together, now wondering why Asa hadn't done it already, but before he could fully speak the woman wavered in her stance. "Vivian!" Sean called as he reached for her hand to prevent her from fainting out, but his father caught her instead, stopping her from falling to the floor.
"Maybe you should sit down." Ned said; then assisted the woman into the chair next to Sean's bed.
"Are you okay?" Sean asked with concern. Now feeling guilty, thinking that her memory loss was in part his fault.
"Yes. I just need…water." Vivian said; then beckoned Marita to bring her a glass to drink.
"I'll get it." Clay quickly volunteered as he made his way to the water across the room.
"No don't do that." Vivian protested weakly. "The servant can get it for me."
"Marita's not a servant." Sean exclaimed, offended by Vivian's assumption, who instantly realized who Marita was.
"Then why is she here?" Vivian inquired with a hint of disdain; then scolded herself for letting her true emotions come to the surface.
"Marita's…"
"A friend right?" Vivian declared, before Sean could fully speak, knowing that if he said anything close to what he'd admitted at the Assemblyman's Dinner her plan would be undone. "I think I vaguely remember you speaking of her when we first started to court." She continued, speaking of Marita as if she weren't in the room. "She works for the family right?"
"Here you go." Clay interjected as he handed Vivian a glass of water.
"Thank you." Vivian said; then took a sip from the glass.
"Does that help?" Ned asked as he and his kids watched Vivian with concern. Marita observed in disbelief, not knowing what to think, and Jeremy studied the woman closely, now wondering if she was lying about her memory problems.
"Yes." Vivian answered. "Much better. Even though sitting here next to Sean is doing me wonders too." She added, as she tenderly gazed at Sean, making him uncomfortable.
"I'm going to go." Marita suddenly asserted, drawing everyone's attention to her. "I'm going to give you all some time alone." She said which brought about objections from nearly everyone in the room.
"Marita don't go." Sean appealed as he held her gaze; his eyes emanating what he felt for her in his soul.
"You need time with your family." She said, trying to be casual as she held his stare. "I'll come by tomorrow." She added; then moved to go; but turned back when she remembered something else. "Mabeline is making chicken soup. It should be ready within the hour."
"Thank you." Sean uttered quietly a look of knowing and love passing between them; flustering Vivian, who skillfully kept her feelings hidden, acting as if she saw nothing between them.
"I'll walk you out." Ned announced, disrupting the mood between Marita and his son.
"Thank you." Marita stated softly, forcing her eyes from Sean's; before resuming her trek towards the door. Everyone said goodbye as she and Ned exited the room, except for Vivian who was glad to see the Negro go; and Sean, whose heart was aching too much for him to utter the words goodbye.
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Seconds Later (Downstairs: The Logan Foyer)…
"I'm sorry about this." Ned expressed as he assisted Marita with her coat. "I had no idea that Vivian…"
"It's okay." Marita interjected softly, distractedly still trying to sort through all that had just gone on. "You couldn't help that an amnesiac Vivian showed up on your door."
"No. I couldn't. But you still should stay." Ned urged. "If you're uncomfortable upstairs you can wait in the parlor or the study until Vivian leaves."
"Thanks but no." Marita quietly declined as she turned to face Ned, now buttoning her coat.
"Sean will want to see you – alone." Ned said. "Even if it's midnight he'll stay awake to talk to you."
"I know…but he shouldn't do that." Marita stated unevenly; longing so much to do what Ned had suggested, but feeling that tonight wouldn't be the best time for her and Sean to talk. "He's still so weak. He needs his rest more than anything... I'll come by tomorrow…" She said as she put on her gloves.
"Marita what's really going on?" Ned asked, knowing that there was more to her decision than what she was saying.
Marita lowered her gaze. Her heart flooding with so many emotions. Though she was on a high at the awakening of Sean, there was yet a deep ache within, caused by what had put him in that bed; reminding her of what she could never allow to happen again…
"Marita?"
"It's nothi…"
"Don't say that." Ned interjected. "I know that it's more than nothing." He said. "Now talk to me."
Marita drew a breath and briefly closed her eyes; trying desperately to maintain her composure. "Maybe this is all for the best." She uttered softly.
"What?" Ned questioned as he studied her closely.
"Vivian losing her memory and thinking that she and Sean are still together."
"You don't believe that." Ned rejected, seeing the truth in her eyes.
"I don't want to believe it." Marita replied shakily. "But maybe Sean and I shouldn't be trying to see each other; maybe we should try…maybe we should try and move on… in separate directions."
"You're maybes are wrong." Ned declared, intensely holding her gaze. "After all you and Sean have been through, you owe it to yourselves to fight for your relationship."
"That may be true." Marita admitted sadly. "But if I walk…" She paused emotion nearly overtaking her voice. "But if I walk away from Sean, right now, maybe he'll still have a chance to salvage his career. And have a good life…A life that is safe." She said; her heart breaking at her words.
"Safety is not guaranteed." Ned countered. "Everything has aspects that are unsafe. That's life. And as far as a life that is good. Sean doesn't want just a "good" life; he wants a life with you." He uttered earnestly, now thinking how deeply his son felt for her.
"I know." Marita sighed, closing her eyes as a tear came forth. "And I want that too. I want so much to spend my life with him. But more than that I want him alive and safe. I don't want to ever see him injured again the way he is right now." She ended tearfully.
"Marita I understand." Ned emotionally replied, feeling her pain as he gently touched her arm. "You know I do. But I just want you to give this some time." He continued in a fatherly tone. "Don't make any decisions until you and Sean have talked this out." He said. "Will you do that for me?"
Silence –
"I will." Marita agreed, faintly nodding as she again closed her eyes and brushed a tear from her cheek.
----------------------
Vivian walked into her home, shutting the door behind her; before leaning against it in joy. Everything had gone perfectly she thought as a smile crept up on her face. She'd fooled the Logans! She'd fooled Sean…
"Thank God you're back before your father." Wilhelmina sighed as she rushed into the foyer, startling Vivian. "Where have you been?" She asked with aggravation.
"Where do you think I've been?" Vivian replied with glee as she now moved from the door. "I went to the Logans to see Sean."
"Sean!" The woman gasped.
"Don't worry Wilhelmina; everything went fine!" Vivian continued happily. "The Logans welcomed me with open arms! I'm well on my way to winning Sean back!"
"Winning Sean back?" Wilhelmina questioned with perplexity as Vivian now kicked herself for being so careless with her words.
"Well you know what I mean." The young woman quickly asserted, attempting to cover up her mistake. "It's been so long since Sean and I have been together, I mean with my memory loss I can't remember…"
"Oh my Lord." Wilhelmina uttered in shock; realization washing over her. "You've been lying about your memory." She accused. "You have it back don't you?"
Vivian didn't answer, but lowered her gaze, still denouncing herself for being so stupid…
"Answer me!" Wilhelmina yelled shaking the young woman from her thoughts.
"Don't you speak to me that way!" Vivian yelled back, angry that she'd been found out. "Remember you are my servant! You work for me!" She retorted. "And you will treat me with respect!"
"My Lord, you do have your memory." Wilhelmina uttered in disgust. "How could you do you this? How could you…"
"Oh stop it!" The young woman sighed with irritation. "Don't stand there and act as if you've never lied…"
"Child this is not about me!" The woman scolded. "You're the one that's been making everyone think that you were sick when you weren't. Do you realize what your father will do when he finds out you've been lying?"
"No!" Vivian exclaimed fiercely. "You will not tell my father!"
"Oh yes ma'am I will…"
"No you won't!" The young woman contended as she closed in on Wilhelmina. "If you breathe a word of this to my father, or anyone else, I will deny your claims with utter disbelief and earnest. And then I will invoke the wrath of my father to destroy you!"
Wilhelmina was speechless; hurt and completely shocked that the young woman whom she'd raised had turned out this way. She'd been certain that Vivian would turn out good; that she would be nothing like her father; considering all the descent values Wilhelmina had instilled in her, but the woman was wrong. Her hopes and beliefs had been nothing more than just that, hopes and beliefs she thought despondently…
"Wilhelmina I'm sorry." Vivian abruptly asserted; genuinely feeling bad about what she'd said. "I would never do anything to hurt you." She added hesitantly.
"Wouldn't you?" The woman asked with suspicion and hurt after hearing the uncertainty in Vivian's words.
"No. Unless…unless I'm provoked." Vivian forced herself to say; hating to say it; to do this; but knowing that it was the only way.
Wilhelmina sighed as she shook her head and stared at Vivian in disbelief. "I'm sorry Wilhelmina, but I can't have my plan destroyed. I can't lose Sean again." The young woman continued. "Now you will not utter a word to anyone about my returned memory. Do you understand?" Wilhelmina didn't answer.
"I said do you understand!" Vivian repeated shakily.
"I understand." The woman answered quietly.
"Good." Vivian uttered with relief; even though she loathed herself within. "Now I'll need my teal dress pressed and ready for tomorrow." She instructed unevenly as she pulled off her coat, gloves and hat and gave them to a still stunned Wilhelmina. "I'll be paying a call on Sean first thing in the morning."
"What about your father?" Wilhelmina managed to ask.
"What about him?"
"He'll never condone you seeing Mr. Logan. Memory loss or not."
"Father will be in meetings all day tomorrow." Vivian divulged, remembering how she'd overheard him speaking of his plans earlier in the day. "So, he shouldn't present a problem, at least not for now." She added; then moved to go up the stairs.
"You know this will never work." Wilhelmina warned, causing the young woman to stop in her tracks. "You'll never get Mr. Logan back."
"That's what you think." Vivian contended with confidence. "Before year's end I will be Mrs. Sean Logan. You wait and see." She said; then turned from the woman and ascended the stairs, leaving Wilhelmina to watch her in horror and shock.