ive become obsessed with some of these korean songs my good friend gave me. pretty decent songs, koreans make. gooshee, slow love songs. lol.
also, thanks so much for the lovely reviews, especially for the long, extremely feel-goody ones. its really helped a lot, im just several reviews short of 200! WOW! i cant thank you guys enough. you all rock! well, onto the story, then…
Disclaimer: I have just as much ownership over PotF as Oreos have ownership over milk. that doesnt even make sense, im just eating these on-the-go mini oreos right now. so...uh...i dont own PotF.
If Only You Knew
Chapter Seventeen: Unspoken Goodbyes
She silently made her way up the steps and to the door, hesitating with her hand on the knob when soft sobs from the other side reached her ears.
Biting her lip, she let out a small sigh and her eyes closed, seriously reconsidering her involvement in the current situation. After all, this had nothing to do with her...she only wanted to do what she thought was right. She only wanted to help her best friend.
But maybe…now…wasn't the time for that.
Without another thought in mind that could possibly change her decision, Via turned and slowly made her descent down the staircase, shaking her head sadly when Owen gave her a hopeful look from his spot near the front door.
"I can't possibly do this now," She whispered, offering Keely's mother Mandy a small smile of thanks as she and Owen walked out the door and into the early sunlit morning. "Keely needs some time to herself, no matter how much we want to help."
Owen stopped to gaze at the Teslow house once more before running to catch up to Via, the thoughts occupying his mind obviously overflowing by now. "The thing is, what's with her anyways? Diffster must've done something totally bad to ruin her New Year like this. Dude…" He silently shook his head and watched in sympathy as the girl next to him threw out her arms in exasperation.
"That's exactly the point!" Via cried out, raising a hand to her head in dismay as they made their way through the town park. "Why would he do such a thing in the first place? Phil was so upset as well, though, I don't even know if I should hate him or feel sorry for him! We don't even know what's going on, for heaven's sake, and they're our best friends…"
Her voice wavered and Via gave a shuddering sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat as the sounds of firecrackers exploding and little kids' squeals of glee ricocheted throughout the playground. "This isn't how we're supposed to be spending New Year's Day, Owen." She sat down on the bench behind her and put her head in her hands, distraught. "I just don't know what to do right now."
Owen fell against the bench next to her, ignoring the cheerful activity taking place around them that normally would have attracted his complete attention. "Wait…you're telling me you're giving up? I thought you always had a solution…thingie…to everything!" He leaned forward and tried to lock his eyes with hers, but she turned away, shaking her head with a soft, bitter laugh.
"I guess sometimes I can't always be the person everybody wants me to be. And obviously, I can't even be the helpful girl who looks out for her best friend when she's completely devastated for whatever reason it is."
Gazing down at Via in sadness, Owen sighed hesitantly and, to both of their surprise, slid a comforting arm around her shoulder, gently pulling her the slightest bit closer to his side.
"Hey, don't say that, V," He ordered quietly, lifting his head up to the sky and staring at the clouds above them. "You did what you thought was best…I think. Right?" He glanced down at her for confirmation and she nodded blankly, eyes wide and fully aware of the arm that was currently clutching her shoulder.
"So…right now the best thing for our two little chickadees is to have their little alone time. So don't worry about it," He finished, offering her a reassuring grin.
Despite the fact that her mind was desperately trying to refuse the gesture of kindness from her usually obnoxious friend, Via couldn't help but smile and lean into Owen as they both lost themselves in their own troubled thoughts. Maybe, just maybe…Owen wasn't so bad after all. But then again, deep down, she had already known that.
She only hoped now that he was right, and that Keely and Phil could somehow work everything out…whatever it was that was going on between them.
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The steady ticking of her clock resonated loudly in her ears as Keely watched her two friends close the front door of her house and make their way down the porch steps in obvious disappointment. She quickly moved away from the window when Owen seemed to turn around and gaze directly at the spot she had previously occupied, and within moments she once again collapsed on her bed as another broken sob escaped from her throat.
Still, the clock continued to tick, taking away the precious moments of time she had left before Phil disappeared from her life forever…
It was actually kind of ironic how, on the last day she could ever spend with the most important person she's ever met, she had instead decided to confine herself in her room to suffer with her own misery.
But she couldn't go to Phil now. Going to see him meant that it was truly the last time she would ever get to be with him. Going to see him only made the nightmare she refused to believe…a reality. And going to see him confirmed that time really does conquer everything…no matter how much destiny or fate tries to fight against it.
And yet, at that very moment, even as she sat there waiting, time was winning once again…
Keely shook her head vigorously as her anger and frustration heightened, the ticking of her alarm clock now almost deafening. It didn't care…like always, it continued on its way, without any thought for the past or the present, only looking towards the future…and he didn't seem to care either…
Unable to take it any longer, Keely knocked the clock off her nightstand in exasperation, watching through glistening tears as it crashed to the floor with a sickening crack. The ticking stopped immediately, but it didn't stop the inevitable…
She knew she didn't have much time left. She had to go to him, she had to confess to him what she had been holding in for so long…
But how could she tell Phil she loved him now, when her biggest fear had already begun to unfold?
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A light gust of wind tousled his short, dark brown hair as Phil stared out at the neighborhood he had lived in for so long, the place he had gotten so used to over the past year. But his thoughts drifted back to the girl…it always came back to the girl…
He knew he couldn't stay. And because of that, he couldn't reveal his true feelings to Keely, not anymore. Even if she did in fact love him just as much as he loved her, it wouldn't matter, would it? He'd be gone in an instant, and everything they had worked up to until now would be lost. Why even burden her with more than she could carry? He knew she was already devastated with the fact that he was leaving…the New Year's party had told him more than enough.
But he wanted to tell her. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life regretting and wondering what could've happened if he had just uttered those three simple yet so powerful words…
No. He'd say goodbye without revealing the truth, and just maybe…Keely could move on without him interfering in her life any longer. She deserved it, she was his best friend, and he was determined to make it happen.
With a defeated sigh and a heart broken beyond repair, Phil slowly turned and made his way back into the house to continue packing just as the wind lifted the scattered leaves near his feet into the air, a swirl of brilliant reds and browns that slowly dissipated into the sky.
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Her shoes lightly scraped the cement as she made her way through the quiet neighborhood, eyes barely scanning her surroundings as the wind whipped her silky blonde hair into a tangle of loose knots.
Tucking the stray stands behind her ear in slight irritancy, she finally looked up and stopped dead as a familiar boy came into her view. He glanced up and, noticing her almost immediately, halted as well, a mixture of surprise and…sadness…gracing his features.
For a moment it was as if time had seemingly slowed down just enough for them to search the other's eyes for the truth…for everything they wanted to say but just couldn't come out and say it…words that could never be expressed in what little time they had left.
Then time was on its way once more, and the moment was lost as he finally broke the silence.
"Keely…I was starting to think…that you weren't going to show up."
Keely let out a soft, bitter laugh, shaking her head as she ripped her eyes away from him. "You know I wouldn't let you leave without…" She trailed off as a new wave of fresh tears began to form, and she stubbornly blinked them away. No, she promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore, she promised herself she would stay strong...for her own sake and his…
Phil watched on in helpless sorrow as his best friend struggled to hold in her composure, and instinctively he closed the distance between them and clutched her shoulders gently, forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"You know I wouldn't do this unless I really had to, Keel." He whispered softly, locking his gaze with hers to show her that he meant every word. "I only want what's best for my family. They miss the future, they miss their home---"
"And what about you?" Keely interrupted, not really trusting her voice anymore as it cracked the slightest bit.
"You know that this place means the world to me." Phil replied firmly, eyes blazing fiercely. "You know that you mean the world to me too. But sometimes…" His gaze softened and once again filled with sadness…and an emptiness that she had never seen there before. He dropped his arms and turned away as a chill sunk into his skin, the realization that only caused him to voice it aloud.
"Sometimes…the world isn't enough..."
Keely let out a shuddering sigh, one that a person gives when all hope is seemingly lost, and one that conceals the distinct sound of a heart shattering…all over again. A sad smile played its way onto her face as she turned, gazing at the fading sun low over the horizon.
"There's something I want to show you, Phil." She murmured suddenly, grabbing his hand and quickly pulling him in the other direction, to a place only she knew existed. If there was anything she could do for him before he had to leave, it was this…
Phil was about to protest, knowing that his time was limited, but there was something about the sudden, faint shine in Keely's eyes that caused him to stomp down any sign of refusal or complaint. Instead he remained silent, his curiosity taking the better of him as she steadily weaved through various streets and trees to the destination only she seemed to know of.
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Minutes later Keely was helping Phil reach the top of a small drop-off overlooking the town, leading him over a widespread plain to the other side with a few stumbles and trips along the way. Now leaving him behind, she ran ahead like a carefree child, stopping abruptly at yet another drop-off and patiently waiting for Phil to catch up.
Panting, Phil doubled over as soon as he reached the spot next to his best friend, failing to look out at the scene in front of him in an attempt to catch his breath. "Keel, what are we doing, it's almost sunset, I have to---"
"Look."
The soft, peaceful tone of her voice stopped him mid-sentence and slowly Phil raised his head, finally taking in what Keely had wanted to show him with wide eyes.
The sun was a red-orange blaze from behind the thin, wispy clouds cloaking the horizon, and rays of light glittered like dancing candlelights on the surface of a vast, enclosed lake, surrounded by lush trees and bushes that glowed in the sunset's spectrum of reds, oranges, and yellows. The breathtaking scene was untouched, shining in all its beauty for the only two astonished witnesses in its presence…a spectacular picture worth a million words that would remain in their memories forever.
Phil turned to face Keely in utter disbelief, hardly able to speak. "It's…amazing…"
Keely stared out at the horizon, a faraway, reminiscent look in her shimmering emerald eyes as a light wind lifted her hair, seemingly bringing it to life.
"I accidentally stumbled on this place a few years ago, before I even met you," She said softly, a smile evident on her lips as memories came flooding back like it was just yesterday.
"I don't think anyone else even knew it was here, it was like this place was especially for me…a place where I could lose myself forever. A place where all my troubles would just…disappear."
She brought her gaze to him, and only then did Phil realize that her eyes were glistening with unshed tears as she continued to speak in the same soft, faraway voice.
"I haven't been here in ages, though…I stopped coming after you landed here over a year ago. I didn't really need to come here whenever you were around, for some reason…I guess it was because I was already happy just being with my best friend. I didn't need anything more…"
With the tears already flowing now, Keely turned back to the fading light, wrapping her arms around herself and shivering as the warmth slowly disappeared with the sun.
"I always knew you'd leave, though. Even though I didn't want to believe it, even though I didn't want to lose my best friend…I always knew that one day, sooner or later, it would happen. I just didn't think it would happen so soon, you know?"
She let out a broken laugh, shaking her head at the irony of it all. "I mean, it's only been a little over a year…and the moment I start thinking that maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't pack up and just…disappear…it actually happens..."
Phil's heart plunged down deeper into an endless cold as the guilt wracked his body. This was all his fault…if he hadn't shown up in this century, if he hadn't met Keely, if he hadn't fallen in love with her…
As if she had read his mind, Keely continued with a small, heartfelt smile, "But it was worth it. Being with you was the best thing that probably ever happened to me, even if I had to live with the fact that you wouldn't be here forever. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."
She wiped away her tears, clearing her vision so that she could see everything in front of her…and so she could see him.
"This was always my special place. A place that was truly…precious to me."
She finally turned to face Phil completely, gazing directly into his eyes with such emotion that he couldn't bear to look away.
"And now…it's yours as well."
And as the first true smile that day reached her lips, Keely said the only thing she had left to say, desperately hoping that it was enough to give even an inkling of everything she still held deep inside her heart.
"It's ours."
For the first time in his entire life, Phil was completely…blown away. Somehow, his best friend had taken every shred of misunderstanding, despair, and hurt and meshed it together to create…perfection. Somehow, she had turned everything upside down…and yet, nothing seemed more right…felt more right…than it was now. This wasn't just a bunch of heartfelt, truthful words…
He was looking at Keely's very soul.
And suddenly, everything made complete sense. He didn't need to hear her say it, and she knew that she didn't have to. Suddenly…
There was nothing left to hide.
Neither of them really knew what happened next. All it took was the feeling of his lips pressing against hers to take Keely into a whole new world where nothing else existed…where time no longer made a difference as they lost themselves in this hidden paradise. She instinctively wrapped her arms around Phil's neck as he encircled her waist, both of them desperately trying to forget the fears and worries that threatened to overwhelm them, threatened to tear them apart…
And time allowed them one more moment to truly cherish, a moment to look back and reminisce on everything in the past…and prepare themselves for whatever obstacles the future held.
Phil gradually pulled away and instantly regretted it when the warmth from their apparent closeness drained from his body, leaving him with the same chill from before that had nothing to do with the air around them. He gazed into Keely's glassy eyes as she struggled to hold in yet another wave of tears, gently biting her lip and savoring the unexpected kiss the both of them had just shared.
Still, the soft, orange glow of the fading sun only made her seem even more beautiful than she already was, and Phil frantically tried to think of something to say as the moments quickly faded away and time began to run out. "Keely, this isn't…I can't just say---"
She simply put a finger to his lips, shaking her head as a single tear fell across her cheek. "Then don't."
His eyes registered surprise and confusion, and she flashed a small, melancholy smile as she slowly pulled her finger away.
"Just…promise me you won't ever forget." She whispered, in a voice so soft that Phil could barely hear it over the whistling of the wind.
Suddenly her arms were around his neck again as she embraced him, so tightly that he could barely breathe, and he wrapped his arms around her in one final hug. He nodded as Keely buried her face into the crook of his neck, silent sobs wracking her body as her tears soaked through his shirt in merely seconds. "I won't," He whispered firmly, even as his eyes glassed over with unshed tears. "I swear I won't."
The sun finally cast its last rays of light as it disappeared beneath the horizon, turning the sky a deep crimson red-orange as the two friends broke apart. The wind kept at its steady flow, rushing through the trees and rippling across the water, continuing on its way as Phil turned and slowly walked in the other direction...never looking back.
Keely watched through shimmering tears in a heartbreaking silence, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to bring a comfort that didn't quite fill the spot completely as memories flashed before her eyes, switching in and out with reality as Phil began to gradually disappear from her sight.
He was helping her with her Algebra homework by using celery sticks, and they danced to folk music as if nothing else really mattered…then he was telling her that he was from the future and taking her on an exhilarating adventure through the skies…
It was only a year or so ago that they had met, and yet, there were so many moments that she could recall…
They were lounging at his house just like every other day after school, tinkering with gadgets and goofing off just for the heck of it…never really needing anything but each other to make the best out of life…
All those special moments in time that only lasted a few seconds but were always kept cherished forever…those small moments that made up everything in both her life and his…
She was gazing at the stars in his backyard in content with her head on his shoulder, both of them seemingly without a care in the world…her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and he was completely blown away by her outer radiance…
And then he was gone…
Keely turned towards the lake and lowered herself to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest as the wind gently blew her tears away. Lifting her head to the sky, she sighed, a sad smile playing on her lips as her eyes fluttered closed.
'Somehow, I think I'll always be here waiting for you, Phil…'
And her dreams swept her away.
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A/N: ohmigod...this story just took a HUGE twist! i seriously did NOT see it coming, i actually just came up with everything as i went...so hopefully you guys still enjoyed it. well, i think we've almost reached the end of my story, im very sad to say...i think there's just one chapter left to type up. you guys might just hate me for making Phil leave, but remember that IM NOT DONE YET! there might still be hope for him, im not sure...anyways, please review on this chapter! feedback is GREATLY appreciated...thanks again for always coming back to read! i seriously love you guys, you all make me want to write more! tune in for the final chapter then! luv ya!
-:jaime:-