All's Fair in Lust & War (Chapter 9)

Haley walked into her childhood house the next day and wandered into the kitchen where her sister Taylor and some guy were sitting down at the table kissing. "Ahem," she said, as she walked towards the refrigerator to grab something to eat, disappointed to find that it was almost bare. Taylor pulled away from the guy for a minute and looked to see that Haley was the one in the kitchen.

"Oh, don't worry, Chip, it's only my baby sister, Haley. She's cool," Taylor said. It was that one comment that had set Haley off. She didn't know whether or not Taylor had meant it to sound insulting, but either way, the last string holding Haley's anger pent up inside of her snapped like a twig. She turned to the couple and smirked.

"Chip, I think you should leave the room for a minute," Haley said.

"Why, Haley?" Taylor asked.

"Because I don't think he should have to stay in the room given the situation," she said softly.

"What situation?" Taylor asked her, dumbfounded.

"The situation where I'm about to yell at you," Haley said. Taylor actually chuckled.

"It's ok, Chip. This won't take long," she said as she stood up and walked over to Haley, towering over her in her nine inch heels. When Haley didn't back down, Taylor shrugged and sat back down as Chip left the room.

"Are you happy?" she asked. Taylor looked at her in confusion. "Do you take joy in knowing that you set me up to fail in front of Nathan's family yesterday?" Haley demanded. Taylor perked up.

"Oh, yesterday was the big dinner, huh?" she asked. Haley glared at her. "Wait. You think I set you up?" she asked, actually having the nerve to look wounded. Haley folded both of her arms across her chest and glared at her sister. Taylor nodded in understanding. "I can't believe you. How could you think that of your big sister?" Taylor asked. Haley chuckled.

"Please. The whole thing has 'Taylor' written all over it, but, there are a few reasons. The first is that you more or less confessed that you wanted Nathan back and you would be willing to do anything to get him. The second is that Nathan told me you were over at his parents' house a while back and blurted out that you two had broken up and that he was dating me. I wouldn't be surprised if you took his mother aside and suggested that they have me over for dinner, knowing full well that they loved you so they'll hate me," Haley said.

"Even if all of that is true, I can't predict the future, Haley. There's no way I could've known how they'd respond to you," Taylor said.

"Maybe. But you probably had a hunch," Haley said angrily.

"I had nothing to do with it," Taylor insisted. Haley shook her head in disbelief. Taylor looked at her sincere seriousness and Haley almost believed her until she cracked a smile. "I'm sorry. I can't keep this up much longer. You're right; I did it. I orchestrated the whole thing because I know how important it is to Dan that his son's girlfriends know a little bit about basketball. He loved the fact that I was a cheerleader for the team. And so I knew that he would hate you," Taylor said. Haley took a step back, amazed at her sister's nastiness.

"You're a music student. You play instruments and you sing. You may know all there is to know about arpeggios, major and minor, and vocal techniques, but you don't know the first thing about basketball. Or any other sport for that matter," Taylor said. Haley's face shrivelled in disgust and pain enveloped her eyes.

"You really are a bitch," Haley said softly. Taylor leaned forward and put her arms on the table. She cocked her head to the side.

"All's fair in love and war, little sister," Taylor said simply.

"Love?" Haley repeated. Taylor looked at her. "What you had with Nathan may be a lot of things, but it wasn't love," Haley said. Taylor narrowed her eyes.

"It was a unique love," Taylor confirmed. Haley chuckled.

"More like infatuation. That's not love. It's just lust. You two were a couple of circumstances. Nothing more," Haley said.

"That's a terrible thing to say. You don't know what we had," Taylor said.

"True. I just know what you didn't have," Haley informed her. Taylor sat back in amazement. "You seem surprised," Haley said.

"I guess I didn't realize that my little sister could be so nasty," Taylor said.

"Be flattered, Tay. I learned it from you," Haley said. Taylor actually laughed. Haley turned around to leave, but stopped at the doorway.

"Do you want to know how I know that you don't really love him?" Haley asked.

"Why not? Enlighten me," Taylor said. Haley leaned against the door.

"You see Nathan as you always have; an accessory. Back in high school, it was the letterman's jacket to match your pompoms. This time he's a trophy too. You don't want him back because you truly need him. You want him back to prove a point. And that's not love," Haley said.

"Hmm. Next you're going to tell me to stay away from him," Taylor said. Haley chuckled.

"If I have to do that, then I don't deserve him. And anyways, I have faith in Nathan. So, whatever stunt you pull next, it's not going to change anything. At the end of the day, Nathan will still be my boyfriend," Haley said.

Six months later…

Haley sat on her bed in her dorm room. It was now her third year in university and she was trying to sight read a rhythm that she had to memorize to play on the flute for the next day, but her brain wouldn't allow her to focus. Her mind kept coming back to one thing. Her eyes wandered around the room. She saw her roommate, Maria's side of the room, neatly done up with a few pictures of her and her boyfriend Tim Smith. Haley continued to look around and her eyes rested on the mirror at her and Maria's bureau that they had bought together a few months before.

There was a picture in a frame on the side of the mirror. It was a picture of her and Nathan. They were hugging each other and Nathan was resting his chin on her head. And they were both smiling. Haley shook with anger as she thought back to those happy times. She got up and picked up the picture. She stared at it for a few minutes. Then she hurled it at the wall and it shattered. The picture was covered with broken shards of glass. It seemed to be a pretty good metaphor for her and Nathan's relationship. Or lack thereof.

Maria walked into the room from the bathroom and observed the broken frame and her angry friend who was shaking now as she began sobbing. "Oh, Haley," she said, coming closer. She folded her arms around Haley and hugged her tightly. Haley pulled back and laughed through her tears.

"I thought I was over it, you know? I should be over it by now," Haley said, walking back to her bed and sitting down.

"It takes time," Maria said simply.

"Well, it's taking too much time. It's ruining everything," Haley said. Maria looked at her in confusion. "Today I had to perform something on the piano. It was a level 8 piece and the teacher stopped me in the middle of my performance and shook her head and said: 'Haley, that is more like grave ("slow, solemn, deep"). The piece is supposed to be played allegretto ("light and cheerful") at first and then grow into allegro ("lively, brisk, rapid"). You know, cheerfully'. I actually told her that allegro wasn't a part of my repertoire at the moment," Haley said. Maria smirked in amusement.

"You said that to a teacher?" Maria asked, dumbfounded. Haley was known to be respectful. She would be caught dead before she mouthed off or sneered at a teacher. Haley nodded shamefully to her friend. "I don't want go out and leave you alone when you're like this, Hales," Maria said. Haley smiled.

"I'll be fine. Besides, I think a good night alone is what I need. Unless you want to memorize this for me and put it into my brain," Haley joked.

"I may be brilliant, but even I don't have that kind of power," Maria said. Haley actually burst out laughing. "I'll see you later," Maria said, smirking. She put on her coat and grabbed her keys and shoved them into her purse and left.

Maria met up with her friend, Peyton Sawyer. She and Peyton had met through Haley and they had found out that along with their love of Haley, they had a lot in common including the fact that they were both dating basketball players. "Hey, Peyton," Maria said, as she sat down in the group of people that she had only come to know through Haley and Peyton.

"Hey. How is she?" Peyton asked. Maria looked down and shook her head. Peyton nodded in understanding.

"I figured," Peyton said. Nathan came over and sat down beside his date, Tamyra and kissed her lightly on the lips. He pulled away and smirked when he saw Tamyra's eyes were wide open. He heard a light scoff and he turned to see Maria Campbell.

"Maria," he said.

"Satan," Maria said. Nathan narrowed his eyes at her.

"What is your problem?" Taylor asked, from between Nathan and her boyfriend Tom. She and Nathan had gotten closer again. They were friends and Taylor realized she was not in love with him. She had to chuckle at the memory. She and Nathan were not suitable together anymore. He was looking for fun while she was looking for love and had found it in one of the most unlikely places. Taylor had no idea who this girl was but she didn't like that the girl was insulting one of her friends.

"My problem is the number your little friend did to my friend," Maria said. Taylor looked at Nathan who only looked at the girl.

"I've said this many times before, Maria. It's none of your business what happened between me and Haley," Nathan snapped.

"So one of you is finally admitting that something happened," Maria said. Nathan looked at her in confusion.

"I'm sure Haley has already told you everything in detail, probably painting me as the devil," he said. Maria shook her head.

"You're so stupid sometimes. All that time you and Haley dated, you didn't know her at all," Maria said. Nathan looked at her for an explanation. "Haley is not that kind of person. If she makes a mistake, she faces up to it. She doesn't place the blame on another person. Besides, she hasn't told me anything. All she'll say is that things didn't work out," Maria said.

"What exactly did you do to her?" Peyton asked. Taylor had to admit that she was surprised. Usually, Peyton chatted with Jake and Lucas, while ignoring everyone else.

"It doesn't matter. It's over," Nathan said.

"You don't even care, do you?" Maria asked.

"Care about what?" Nathan spat. "Haley. Whatever you did to her, it destroyed her. She's not even Haley anymore. She's like two different people. One is almost catatonic and the other is just a walking, talking body of pain and anger," Maria said. Taylor turned towards Nathan in confusion.

"I thought Haley dumped you for another guy," she said.

"I never said that," Nathan said.

"Then, what happened?" Taylor asked.

"Just leave it alone, Taylor," Nathan barked.

"No, Nathan. If what they say is true, then I have every right to know. Haley is my sister," Taylor said.

"Yeah, the one you haven't spoken to in six months," Nathan said.

"And that's my problem to fix, but Haley is still my sister and I care about her. Since you obviously have no intention of fixing her, then I want to know what you did so I can try," Taylor said. Nathan shook his head.

"Like I said: It's between me and Haley," he said.

"There is no you and Haley," Peyton pointed out.

"Then, it's in the past," Nathan said.

"You're such an ass," Maria said.

"I've had enough of this," Nathan said. He got up and walked away, leaving his date at the table.

Nathan didn't know why he had come here. The library studying lab had been a place he had only gone to spend time with Haley. He almost felt like he was trespassing as Haley had once called this place her sanctuary. "The place I go when I need time to think or so I can be alone, you know?" she had said. Sure enough, Haley was sitting in the corner table of the room that was nearly empty. It was only him and her in the room. Haley had one of her music folders up so it was hiding her face. He figured she must be studying a piece or something. He finally understood what Maria had meant about Haley being a walking, talking body of pain and anger when Haley poked her head up. Her eyes narrowed and the anger that Maria spoke of was coursing off of Haley's body in waves.

He walked over and actually sat down across from her. For a minute, Haley looked at him then she ignored him and focused back to her work. She got up and walked out of the room for a few minutes. He pulled one of her books over to him and was amazed when he opened it. It was a book of songs she'd written. He recognized the third one immediately. "I'm Not" was the song that she had written and performed at the benefit concert. It was about her relationship with Brooke and Taylor.

He flipped a page and sighed as he saw the title "Rollercoaster".

It seems like it happened to someone else sometimes

You hurt them and I can feel their pain

It couldn't possibly have been me that you hurt

You were supposed to love me

We've had many ups and downs

Our relationship always reminded me of a rollercoaster

We'd go up when we were happy

Stop when we 'took a break'

Down when we were fighting

And then up again

But this time is different

There is no more down

There is no more up

We're stuck at stop

I always hated roller coasters

They were fun in the moment

But at the end of the ride

I always ended up dizzy and confused

My world would be spinning around and around
I would be powerless to stop it at the time and I hated it

But our rollercoaster is one that I never wanted to stop

Why did you?

He closed the book and put it down on her other books. He couldn't deny it anymore. He had screwed up again. He never wanted to hurt Haley, but things had spun out of control and by the time he realized the mistake he had made, it was too late.

Haley walked back into the room and sighed when she saw him there. She sat down and put her books in a pile. "What do you want?" she asked. He looked at her and shrugged. "You didn't come in here on a whim, Nathan. You knew you'd find me here. You sought me out. Now what I want to know is why," Haley said.

"I saw Maria a few minutes ago," he said.

"And…?" Haley asked. "She told me you weren't doing so well," he said. Haley smirked.

"So, naturally, you figured you would be the one to cheer me up?" Haley asked sarcastically.

"I guess I came here to try," he said. Haley burst out laughing.

"No, you didn't," she said, smiling menacingly at him. He looked at her. "You came here because you feel guilty," Haley said.

"Look, Haley, I didn't come here to argue with you or have a debate about why you think I came here. I've moved on," he said. Haley laughed cruelly.

"That's great!" she said, "I mean that's just perfect!" He looked at her as if she were crazy. Then her face grew serious. "You've moved on. Well, I haven't. I can't because I'm still clinging to what we had. And then you come here. Seeing you in person destroys me because it hits me every time: it didn't work," Haley said miserably.

"I never wanted to hurt you," he said.

"Well, you did," she said.

"It's not what I wanted. If it were up to me, we'd still be together, but I don't have a choice," he started. Haley shook her head.

"Not anymore, but you did. Then you got Tamyra pregnant…" Haley started angrily, "while you were dating me."

"I know that. I'm just saying that this isn't what I wanted things to be. It's not supposed to be this way," he said, grabbing one of her hands and holding it between his.

"Nathan," Haley said.

"What?" he asked, looking at her in hope.

"Is Tamyra still pregnant?" Haley asked.

"Of course she is," he replied. He would never want one of his children aborted.

"Are you going to raise that child with her?" Haley asked.

"Yes," he blurted out without thinking. Haley pulled her hand away from him and shrugged.

"Then, that's the way things are," she said firmly. He nodded. She got up and left.