Garfieldodie: Don't worry, Calvin will have his moment of glory soon. He's just exited because he's at Hogwarts

The Computer, which I use in this chapter, is a robot that I use in another story that I hope to put on Fictionpress.

After dinner, Calvin and Hobbes rushed back up to the Common room.

Energized from the candy and sugar, Calvin started jumping up and down on the chair.

He started having flashes between alter egos. Triggered by words.

For instance, when Ron said to Harry while doing homework, "I think the rat tail goes into the potion last."

Calvin started screaming at Ron, "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH SPACEMAN SPIFF YOU SQUIRMING MAGGOTS FROM ANOTHER GALAXY!"

Seconds later Ginny told Hermonie that Peeves had hexed her quill, Calvin started screaming at them, "YOUR UNDER ARREST! TRACER BULLET ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE PERFORMED THE CRIME! I GOT SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU! HOW DID YOU DISPOSE OF THE BODY? AND LETS HEAR THE TRUTH, FOR ONCE, GINNY! IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!"

Soon, the sugar hit the extra insanity button in Calvin's head, and things started getting interesting.

When a second year had asked Calvin about some homework, Calvin had started screaming something about tomato soup, Velociraptors, the month of September, and the number three.

Calvin had then spent the rest of the evening complaining about meaningless things. Such as a week should be thirteen days, calenders don't have enough pictures, and July 24, should have been a national holiday.

When Ron had told him to shut up, Calvin had said, "Don't worry, Run. I got good news!"

"What?" Ron sighed, rolling his eyes.

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" Calvin started laughing like a maniac, while Ron, who had never seen a Geico commercial, stared at him in confusion.

Just then, Sally came bursting into the common room.

Everybody stared at him.

"Double-door Has told me to read you a bedtime story!"

Everybody stared at him in disbelief.

"He told you to what!" Harry yelled.

"Well, Dumb-bell-door didn't tell me but I wanna, anyway!"

Everyone groaned.

Sally held up a book, and sat down in a lounge chair.

"Go read it to the Slytherins!" Calvin yelled.

"I already did." Sally grinned.

Hobbes' eyes widened.

"Ah, tell us of that interesting episode."

Everyone actually paid attention to Sally as he told what happened in the Slitherin common room.

Malfoy was talking with Crab and Goyle, when something with a red baseball cap burst into the room.

"HEY YA'LL!" Screamed professor Stupid. "Guess what time it is!"

Sally received blank stares.

"It's time for Happy Snails!" Sally pranced around the room, and sat down in a chair.

"Gather 'round little kidlets." Sally yelled. "And I will weave a magical tale about Happy Snails Jr. and his loving parents, Mr. And Mrs. Happy Snails."

Blank stares.

"Once upon a merry time, there lived three little snails. Little did they know that the evil Mr Bluebird was plotting against..."

Just then Malfoy started yelling.

"Get out of this room you big galoot!"

Sally stared at the pages.

He gasped.

"Could it be!"

Sally slammed the book shut on his nose.

"IT IS!"

Sally started dancing around the room.

He looked like ten warthogs who had just went insane.

"Happy Snails Junior has finally contacted me! After all these years of waiting!"

Sally started twiddling his fingers.

"They said it would never happen! They said I was crazy!"

Sally threw his head and arms back and laughed like a homicidal maniac who had just lost his something vital to his brain.

"THEY SHALL NEVER LAUGH AT ME AGAIN! I, SALLY M. DEAN, HAVE FINALLY BEEN CONTACTED BY THE HAPPY SNAILS!"

He started punching the air, while continuing to laugh like a maniac.

All over what Malfoy had said.

The ending of Sally's story put many Griffondors into disappointment, expecting Sally to have tortured them more.

But many, Calvin for instance, were well satisfied.

Sally was about to read Happy Snails, when Calvin reminded him about something.

"Why Sally!" He said. "It's midnight! Don't you have to go teach chairs how to be just like you?"

Sally's Head shot up.

"Oh my gosh! I nearly forgot!" Sally burst from the common room, and rushed to his classroom.

The next day was your average day at Hogwarts.

Calvin tortured Sally. Sally banged his head against Snape's door, until Snape told him to get lost. And Sally just about burst into every lesson and ruined everything.

During potions, Sally burst into the room while Snape was trying to explain something out.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury!" Sally screamed. "This court is now called to order! The case of Mrs. Kljhlsefhdkghurydsmjgk4785sfdi574oejdfduds is now in order!"

Sally walked up to a shocked Snape and yelled.

"Will Mrs. Kljhlsefhdkghurydsmjgk4785sfdi574oejdfduds please take the stand?" He screamed.

Sally led some invisible person to Snape's desk.

"This is Mrs. Kljhlsefhdkghurydsmjgk4785sfdi574oejdfduds." Sally declared.

Sally turned to the desk.

"Hello Mrs. Kljhlsefhdkghurydsmjgk4785sfdi574oejdfduds." He said. "Please state your name."

Snape had obviously lost his patience with Sally judging by the way he threw him out the door.

At Divination things were really interesting.

Just as Trawlarny was about to begin the class, Sally burst into the room.

"WELCOME ALL! WELCOME!" He screamed. "I CAME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!"

He turned to Harry. Harry thought he was going to say something about Sirius, but instead, he screamed.

"ALL BOOTS ARE TEN PERCENT OFF! AND THE ANSWER TO LIFE'S RIDDLE IS CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP!"

Trawlarny seemed offended that Sally had burst in so suddenly.

"YOU THERE!" She screeched.

Sally turned around and stared. He took one look at her glasses that made her eyes look big, and screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Sally made a dive for the door, but Trawlarny stopped him.

"Wait!" She yelled. "I'm picking up a vision!"

Sally grinned at her.

"Does it have something to do with doorknobs?"

"No." she whispered, dramatically.

"Then I'm not interested!" Sally reached for the door, but Trawlarny grabbed his arm.

"You..." she said. "Are in mortal danger!"

Sally grinned.

"Really? I've always wanted to be a mortal. I don't have any idea what the dinger part at the end was, but you certainly sparked my interest."

Trawlarny wasn't expecting this reaction, so she didn't know what to do about it.

So she just threw Sally out the door.

Sally seemed to pop up everywhere each time making a bigger fool of himself.

One time while Sally was interrupting charms, Calvin slipped an electric collar on his neck.

"What if he takes it off?" Hobbes asked.

"What if a computer crashed into my head in three seconds?" Calvin asked.

"Good point." Hobbes said.

Whenever Sally showed up, Calvin pushed the button in the middle of his remote control thing.

He shocked Sally with 5,000 volts.

That was a sight to see.

"Hello students. OUCH! Today we will study... OUCH! ...the terror of... ACK! door knobs. YEEEE-YOUCH!"

Calvin got a big kick out of that.

With every "ouch" Calvin burst out with insane laughter.

At last, Sally's tiny brain realized what was on his neck, and he took it off.

"Today, students I'd like to introduce you to a dear friend of mine!"

Everybody looked up.

"Hey, Computer! Come on out!"

Just then, a tall, thin, silver robot stepped out from behind the curtain. He looked like Sally turned into a robot. He had a stupid grin on his face, a long nose, some bolts in his legs, and a screw on head.

"HELLO EVERYBODY!" The robot screamed in a voice so much similar to Sally's. "ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF! I AM THE COMPUTER ROBOT! MADE AND MANUFACTURED IN A SECRET LABORATORY IN SOME 12 YEAR OLD'S ROOM!"

Everybody stared at the Computer.

He and Sally were both staring off into space with their tongues hanging out.

"Great!" Calvin yelled. "One of you is bad enough! Now we've got another one!"

Sally and the Computer both walked over to the desk.

The Computer turned a grin on everybody.

"I will now walk among the tables of justice and meet you all!"

The Computer conveniently walked over to Calvin's desk first.

"Hello!" He yelled. "And what is your name, little gift from above?"

Calvin pushed a button on the Computer's head.

At once, his head exploded.

"I must say, this is more fun than torturing a human moron!" Calvin grinned.

The Computer then walked over to Ron.

"Looky!" The Computer screamed. "It's a kid with red dots all over his face!"

The Computer squinted at Ron, who's ears were turning red with anger.

"Ah-HA!" He screamed. "The clues are piling together!"

Detective Stupid paced back and forth in front of Ron's desk.

"His hair is red, He is glaring at me like a cobra that's cornering its meal, Happy Snails in fifteen minutes, and YES! Yuickoies were made in New Jersey!"

The Computer made a very serious expression, and turned to Sally.

"Is it serious, doctor?" Sally asked.

"I am afraid so!" The Computer nodded.

It's quite interesting how idiots communicate.

"I'll get the chainsaw!" Sally sobbed, walking off.

The Computer approached Malfoy.

"How cute." He said, idiotically, walking on.

He came to Hermonie.

"Hello! Sally has told me a lot about you! You're the one who's always confusing us!"

Hermonie glared at him.

The Computer then approached Harry's desk.

His eyes widened.

"Gasp! Could it be?"

Harry's eyes squeezed shut.

"It is the all famous one!" The Computer ran over. "Jim Carrey, right?"

Harry's eyes flew open.

"Who?" Harry asked.

"You're the one who invented cottage cheese!" The computer screamed.

And with that he approached Hobbes' desk.

"And you, judging by your size, are Orson Wells!"

Hobbes leaped into the middle of the robot, and began rearranging parts of his body.

Right when he was done, Sally returned with a keyboard.

"I got the chainsaw!" He screamed, happily.

Sally faced the Computer. His leg was where his head was supposed to be, one of his arms was stuck where his feet belong, his other leg was replaced with his head, and there was another leg sticking out where his arm should have been.

There was another unsuccessful search for Sirius that day. Sally was no help whatsoever as Harry continued to search in vain for Sirius.

"Fluffy Bunny," Sally said, stupidly.

That night there was more commotion in the common room.

"BEWARE MY MIGHTY FIST!" Calvin screamed in his stupendous man outfit. "I HAVE THE POWERS OF A MILLION MORTAL MEN!"

Harry was watching the Maurader's map for entertainment.

He watched the dot marked SALLY DEAN being thrown around by another dot marked PEEVES.

Finally, the group in the common room began to break up, and soon only Calvin and Hobbes were left in the common room.

Calvin was reading a comic book he had packed, and Hobbes was sleeping in the chair next to him. It was around midnight.

Calvin hadn't even yawned yet.

His eyes were glued on the comic book.

Hobbes was quietly snoring next to him.

Just then, the fire in the fireplace roared to life, waking Hobbes, and bringing Calvin out of his comic book trance.

"Hobbes!" Calvin spat. "I told you to brush your teeth! Now you just made a fire come up. Moron."

"My breath doesn't do that!" Hobbes said, stiffly. "It must have been your breath because you never..."

Just then, a small voice came out of the fireplace.

It was faint at first, but then it sounded loud and clear.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at the fire in confusion and shock.

"Look, now you've offended it!" Calvin yelled. Hobbes shushed him.

The voice was coming in and out. Like a badly tuned radio.

"Help... can't hold on... Harry!..."

"My hand isn't hairy!" Calvin spat at the fire. "The nerve of that talking fire!"

"Shut up, and listen!" Hobbes spat.

Calvin turned his attention back to the fire.

The voice continued.

"I can smell them. Especially... night."

"See Hobbes?" Calvin spat. "He's offended by your breath!"

The voice went on. "...grave danger. Please hel... me!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"What's wrong?" Calvin asked the fire.

"They're here." The voice said. "They know who ... are! ... know where we are."

"Who?" Hobbes asked.

"them!" The voice shuddered.

"Oh, I hate it when strange voices avoid the truth at all costs!" Calvin spat. "Who's them?"

"The..."

"The what? Describe them?" Hobbes said. "Demenors? Death Eaters? Throw us a bone!"

"...can't... indescribable... always eating... I'm next!"

"Ok." Calvin said. "So far he's described things that are always eating. Perhaps Garfield is holding him prisoner."

The voice went on.

"They're coming! ...Help!"

"We'll help ya." Calvin yawned. "First we must know where ya are. Give us some directions."

"...don't know... where... am."

"Terrific." Calvin said. "He wants us to come to him, but he doesn't know where he is."

"Describe where you are." Hobbes said.

The voice answered immediately.

"...darkness... spiders... skeletons... their whispers all around ...'e."

"Uh-huh." Calvin said. "That's interesting."

"Who's whispering?" Hobbes asked.

"The M...s"

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Calvin grinned. "Begins with an M. Muppets?"

"Calvin please." Hobbes said. "The muppets wouldn't take this strange voice and eat him."

"I give up." Calvin said.

"Help." the voice said, starting to fade.

"Who are you?" Hobbes asked into the fire.

There was a moment of silence in which the fire crackled.

The voice said something but it was garbled.

"...s ...ack!"

"What? Didn't quite catch that." Hobbes said.

The voice said it again this time clearer.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" And with that, the fire dropped, and went out, completely, leaving two shocked students in their chairs.