Meanwhile, the teachers had been holding a meeting in the Great Hall.
All the students were banned.
"What do we propose we do, headmaster?" McGonnagal asked.
Dumbledore sighed.
"Well, I'm sure we all knew he was going to do this." He said. "Which is the trouble with Calvin. He's too brave for his own good. I suggest we put this to a vote."
Everyone looked around.
"Sally?" Dumbledore asked. "What do you think?"
Sally had been staring off into space.
When he heard his name being called, he blinked his eyes, and gawked at the circle of teachers who were staring at him.
"Uuh, uh...um..." He immediately got stage fright. "UH! UMMM! UH! ... TWENTY FOUR!"
There was a throbbing moment of silence.
Snape slapped his forehead.
"Headmaster?" he hissed. "May I please do something cruel to this moron?"
Dumbledore gave Sally a calm stare.
"We're talking about your vote, Sally." he said.
Sally blinked.
He leaped up, and screamed, "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO! IF I AM ELECTED, I SHALL BRING PEACE TO ALL THE UNIVERSE! I WILL MAKE THE STUDENTS DO SEVERAL CHORUSES TO THE HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THEME SONG AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH CLASS, AND AT BREAKFAST LUNCH AND SUPPER I SHALL SERVE BURNT TOAST, RAW BACON, AND STEAK FAT! SO WHEN YOU GO INTO THAT BOOTH TOMORROW, BE SURE TO VOTE FOR SALLY M. DEAN!"
Fireworks started going off behind Sally's back, and a banner saying VOTE FOR SALLY fell from the ceiling joists and unraveled itself behind him.
Everyone stared at him.
Sally then went around the Great Hall looking for babies to kiss.
When he didn't find any, he started putting pins on everybody's cloaks that said, "VOTE FOR SALLY!"
Sally was being his usual idiot self, in other words.
And no, I don't know where he got those pins so fast.
Harry, Ron, and Hermonie had been watching from behind the door.
When Snape had finally broke, and started firing curses at Sally, Everybody ducked their heads out of the room.
"We have to go after them!" Harry hissed.
"McGonnagal said they'd take care of it." Ron said.
"AND ALWAYS REMEMBER DECEMBER THAT SALLY IS A WONDERFUL CHEERILY MAKER PERSON!"
"ALARIOUS!"
ZAP!
"OK, scratch that, these people will be no help, whatsoever." Ron said.
"What are we going to do?" Hermonie asked.
"We're going to go on our brooms." Harry whispered. "Come lets go."
And with that, they raced upstairs.
Shall I describe the Mackmals? They were wearing black robes, and boots. Their hands were skinny and white. They were more like a cat's paws, than hands. They had red eyes staring out at the world from inside their hood, and razor sharp teeth that gleamed in the darkness.
There were two of them, and they were staring down at Sirius with hungry eyes.
Calvin eased the Time Machine forward, past Sirius and up to the two Mackmals.
He gave them a wide grin.
"Hey guys! How ya doing! I've been looking everywhere for ya. HEY! Ya found my human! Thanks a bunch guys. I'd love to stay and chat, but I got places to go and..."
The Mackmals started laughing. It was a rapsy, dry laugh. Much like their voice. Then, they spoke.
Normally, they would've spoke a more deadly sounding language, but they could speak English too. Just not to well. English made them sound... well, pretty stupid, actually. but believe me, they were more intelligent than you could believe.
"AH HA HA HA! Human pretty stupid because Mackmal not give up human! And not give up box of humans too! Because box gave big insults to Mackmal Momma!"
"I did?" Calvin asked. "No, that wasn't me, I can't think of... Oh you might mean Susie. She's usually like that, gives out insults left and right without thinking about who's she's giving them to, and gee whiz, Suise has several ..."
"Mackmal not give a hoot for gee whiz." The creature snarled. "Now it time for eat!"
"Eat?" Calvin asked. "No thanks, I'm stuffed, couldn't hold another bite. And furthermore, I don't think I caught your name. What was it, again? My name's Calvin."
"Name Raxton!" The Mackmal announced. "This brother Gripton!"
"Uh." The other Mackmal snorted.
Calvin blinked.
"Uh huh." Calvin said. "I see. Hey guys, I hate to tell you this, but I'm not even a little bit scared of you. Do I look scared?"
The Mackmals studied Calvin.
"Not looking scared. Looking stupid."
"Yes, but the point is that I don't look scared because I'm not scared. And I'm not scared because I know something you don't know. And because you don't know it, Raxton, it follows from simple logic that YOU are scared."
The Mackmals got a huge laugh out of that.
"Malvin talk stupider and stupidest! Mackmal not scared of nothing. Love to fight, and eat, and beat up whole world, oh boy, and maybe eat Malvin for breakfast, too!"
Gripton and Raxton laughed insanely.
Calvin joined in.
Hobbes and Sirius exchanged glances.
"I don't think this is going to work." Sirius said.
Calvin ignored him.
"Yes but you're forgetting one small detail, Raxton. Knowledge is power, don't you see. So if I know something you don't know, then I'm stronger than you. And if I'm stronger than you, then there's nothing you can do to me, right?"
Gripton and Raxton stopped laughing.
They glared at Calvin.
"What Malvin know that Mackmal don't know!" Raxton demanded.
"Well, If I told you, then you would know, and I'd loose my power."
"Uh. But if Malvin not tell, Mackmal not believe and maybe eat Malvin anyway! Along with tiger and black haired man!"
"Hmm, I hadn't thought of that." Calvin said. "Okay, I'll tell you. but you must solemnly swear never to use it against me, because, well, that would be cheating. Can you do that?"
"Ha. Mackmal good for cheating!"
"No, I mean solemnly swearing."
"Uh. Mackmal not so good for solemmnly swearing."
"But you must solemnly swear or I wont tell you." Calvin said. "You have to take the whole deal, or nothing at all."
The Mackmals went into a huddle, and talked it back and forth. In their native tongue by the way. And when Calvin heard bits and pieces of that language, it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It was scary. It sounded like a snake hissing.
Then Raxton turned to Calvin, and said, "Mackmal have big conference. Decide to take hole deal!"
"Alright!" Calvin said. "First, raise your left paws."
Raxton shook his head.
"Not pause. Go right into hole deal with Sommenly swear."
Calvin held his hands up.
"No, no, you missed my whole point!"
"Not point at Mackmal! Mackmal not like pointing-at-to-be."
Calvin sighed, and looked at the ceiling.
"Raxton, let's back up, and start over."
"Mackmal not back up for anything!" Raxton snarled.
"Okay, okay." Calvin sighed. "Both of you, raise your left front foot."
For a second the Mackmals stared at Calvin. Then stared at their paws and feet.
"Got two front foots left."
"Yes, but only one left front foot." Calvin said. "You see, both of us have a left foot and a right foot. To solemnly swear something, you must raise your right front foot. But I know you guys don't know right from left or right from wrong, so I told you to raise the left one, which is wrong, knowing that you would raise the wrong one instead, which is of course the right one!"
The Mackmal's red eyes stared at Calvin.
"Right foot wrong?"
"No, the right foot is right." Calvin said. "But I know you'd make the wrong choice, so that would make the left foot right."
"Right foot left?"
"If you raised your right foot, your left foot would be left on the ground, that's right."
Raxton clubbed Calvin over the head with his right front foot.
"Malvin shut stupid mouth about foot and get on with sommenly swear!"
"Okay, fine, sorry I mentioned it!"
Calvin picked himself off from the ground.
"Repeat after me. I, Raxton the Mackmal, do solemnly swear for myself and my brother Gripton who never seems to talk, that we will not use Calvin's secret information against him."
Four empty red eyes stared at Calvin.
"Too much for remember." They said.
"OK, then just say, 'we do'."
"You do."
"Not 'You do' you dodo. WE DO!"
He clubbed Calvin over the head, again.
"Not call Mackmal a weed-dew!"
"I didn't call you a weed-dew, I called you a dodo!" Calvin yelled, picking himself up from the floor of the box.
"Uh. Dodo better than weed-dew. Mackmal not like weed, and dew make everybody wet! Mackmal not like wet."
"Great. Do we have a deal or not?"
"Uh. Got deal, good deal."
"In other words, you both solemnly swear?"
They nodded.
"Both sommenly swear."
Whew! Boy, I wasn't sure Calvin would ever get them to do it.
"Now Malvin tell secret knowledge, and pretty quick, too!"
"Alright, here's the deal." Calvin grinned, leaned over to the Mackmals, and whispered, "I know you guys can't do any damage to me, because I have an amazing box here that will whisk me away at the slightest sense of trouble! So all I have to do, is..."
ZZZZZZZZT!
HUH!
Those little sneaks. Those ungrateful, worthless, idiotic little cheats!
Do you know what they did?
As soon as Calvin gave out that information, the Mackmals broke their solemnly swear, jabbed their hands into Calvin's box, and yanked out the smoking engine.
The box fell to the ground with a thump, and the Mackmals threw the engine away.
Calvin was shocked.
"HEY!" Calvin yelled. "You can't do this! You swore a solemn oath!"
"HA! Mackmal not give a hoot for solemnly oak! Mackmal berry good for cheat! Too bad for Malvin!"
Sirius turned to Calvin.
"I told you it wouldn't work." He sighed.
Calvin tried to ignore him.
"If you cheat, Raxton, then everybody in the world would call you a cheater! Is that how you want to live your life, Raxton, with everybody in the whole world pointing at you, and saying, 'Oh look he's nothing but a cheater!'?"
"Mackmal not give a hoot for whole world pointing. Mackmal not give a hoot for nothing but eat! Oh boy!"
Oh boy indeed.
Gripton and Raxton were stalking for Calvin, Hobbes, and Sirius, with wide toothy grins.
They appeared to have nothing else to say to Calvin because they started talking in hisses and whispers, again.
Calvin grabbed his MTM.
"GET BACK!" He screamed.
Defense mode activated.
BOOM!
There was a blast of electricity, and Mackmals went flying in all directions.
Raxton hit the floor, and started screeching.
"SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"He's calling for reinforcements!" Sirius panicked. "We're dead!"
"No, we're not!" Calvin yelled, leaping out of the box. "Hobbes get the engine! And hurry, first chance you get!"
Do you know what Hobbes did then? He fainted. Worthless to the end.
Calvin muttered and grumbled, and got the engine himself.
The Mackmals continued to screech.
More screeching appeared, and the sound of running footsteps filled the hall.
Calvin put the engine back into the box, and leaped into the box.
"OK, Serious!" Calvin screamed. "The so forths are coming! Get in the box! Or you could sit here, look simple and say 'duh'."
Sirius chose number one.
He hopped into the box with Calvin and Hobbes.
Calvin set the box on ESCAPE mode and they roared out of there just as the Mackmals entered the room.
Calvin turned his head, and started screaming at the Mackmals.
"HA! Take that, you morons! And furthermore, you're nothing but a bunch of weed-dews!"
The Mackmals screamed and shrieked, and tried to get Calvin's box.
But Calvin was already out of range.
But they weren't out of danger yet.
You just wait and see what happened to them, next.