Chapter 2: Agelia and Arguments

Haven City, four hours left

Another hour had passed, and everyone was getting worried about the time, which made them even touchier than they'd normally be.

"At least we're ready now," Butler commented, as they were boarding the ship.

"Whatever," said Root.

"Well, think about it," Juliet piped up. "We still have four whole hours. What could go wrong?"

"A lot of things, little Miss Know-it-all," Root snapped, putting down his equipment and looking at her furiously. "Four hours isn't a lot of time in this business, no matter how much time it may seem to inexperienced people."

"Thanks a lot!" she said indignantly. "Four hours is a lot of time! By my calculations, it will take only two of those to get where we're going, and..."

"Two hours isn't nearly enough! When you factor in the getting in the ship, getting out of the ship, loading and unloading the equipment, plus add fifteen minutes for delays, it will take more like three hours! And fifteen minutes is the minimum! For all we know, any delay could use up the whole four hours!"

"Hey, calm down," said Butler. "We don't have time for fighting now. You both should know that."

"Whatever," the two chorused, and glared at each other.

Foaly stuck his head out of the ship. "You sound like Holly and Artemis."

"Yeah, right!" said Juliet. "I happen to know that we don't sound a thing like..."

"...absolutely not!" roared the commander. "We don't sound anything alike, and if you think we do, you can just leave now, because I'm not having someone..."

Foaly sighed. "So much for that," he muttered. "He just won't realize it, will he? Although, to be honest, I wonder if Fowl realizes it himself?"

"Realizes what?" said Artemis from behind him. Foaly jumped.

"Uh...nothing," he said quickly. "Come on, I think I've located her exact spot."

His sensors had located Opal in a part of a country called Agelia, a secluded place much like Hawaii, with beaches, oceans and palm trees. The pixie was in a city called Don'tyoudareeventhinkaboutputtingjamonyourturtle (the people of Agelia didn't speak English; if you put a bunch of monkeys, or, in this case, people who don't speak English, in front of a bunch of typewriters (although here it would be more like high-tech word processors), you'd be surprised what they will come up with.

"Here," said Foaly, stepping over a bunch of wires and leading Artemis to a computer station in the ship. A green light was flashing, and there was a gentle beeping emanating from the speakers. "It means it's found something. See?"

Artemis studied the map on the screen. "Don'tyoudareeventhinkaboutputtingjamonyourturtle?"

"Yes, that's the name of the city."

"Rather...interesting, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well...the people of this country don't speak English."

"Agelia," said Artemis, frowning. "I don't recall ever hearing of that place."

"It's a very remote country," said Foaly. "Which is kind of lucky. It would be harder to find Opal in a big place."

"True."

"So, anyway," resumed Foaly, "all we have to do is..."

He was interrupted by a door opening. Root, Butler, and Juliet joined them, Juliet and Root still glaring at each other.

"What are you talking about?" said Root. "Have you found where she is yet?"

"Yes," said Foaly. "I was just showing the Mud Boy what I've figured out."

"Well, show us!" said the commander.

"But I..."

"Show us, donkey!" Root's face began to turn red.

Normally Foaly would have tried to annoy the commander as much as possible, but today he couldn't. They didn't have time if they wanted to rescue Holly.

"Okay, whatever," he said. But this noble sentiment didn't last enough to keep him from muttering, "I don't want to start over. I was almost done!"

He touched the screen, which now showed a map of the world. It zoomed in to show Agelia. "Okay," he said. "We know she's here, in Agelia. Then I traced her even further. Now we know what city she's in as well." He touched the screen again. It zoomed to show the dot that represented the city.

"Why isn't the place labeled?" asked Butler.

"The name's too long," said Foaly.

"Oh, boy," Butler said. "What is it?"

"Don'tyoudareeventhinkaboutputtingjamonyourturtle."

"Don'tyoudareeventhinkaboutputtingjamonyourturtle?" said Root. "What's that, some kind of club? A strange name for a club, though."

"No, Julius," said Foaly. "It's the name of the city she's in."

"Don't call me Julius!"

"Fine, whatever. It's the name of the city she's in, sir."

Root didn't notice the sarcasm in the 'sir'. "Thank you. Now, then...how can anyone name a city Don'tyoudareputjamonyourturtle!"

"It's Don'tyoudareeventhinkaboutputtingjamonyourturtle."

"Whatever. How can anyone name a city that?"

"Well, they don't speak English," Artemis put in.

"That still doesn't explain it," said Root.

"Oh, whatever!" Foaly said. "Does it really matter what it's named?"

"I guess not," said the commander.

"Okay, then! Let's get on with it!" Juliet said loudly.

"Yes," Artemis agreed. "If we're going to rescue Holly before the seven hours are up, then we need to hurry."

"Okay. So all we really need to do is fly out to Agelia, preferably on a human airplane, and..."

"Why? Shuttles are better," argued Root.

"Because," explained Foaly not-so-patiently, "our shuttles would attract attention. Besides, they aren't built to fly aboveground."

"Well then, why don't we take the chutes? In the shuttle, I mean. Why do we have to travel aboveground?"

"Because there is no chute to Agelia. The closest one is ten thousand klicks away, and some of us can't use the wings as well as others. Besides, who's going to let humans use wings anyway?"

"Now wait just a minute..." said Juliet. "Are you telling me that even though we've actually agreed to help you with this, we still don't get to choose the fastest way of travel?"

"Don't blame me, blame the Council," said Foaly. "I checked up with them several times while Mud Boy here was thinking. I practically begged them, but they wouldn't let you use the wings."

"Fine."

"Okay, then," said Artemis exasperatedly. "We have this straightened out. Can we please go on to the next thing!"

"Whoa, Mud Boy," said Root. "What's the matter with you? I've never seen you this tense before."

"Nothing," muttered Artemis, kicking himself inwardly. "There's nothing wrong. I'm just...tense, okay? This is a pretty important mission anyway, isn't it?"

Foaly smirked, and Butler and Juliet exchanged worried glances. Root just looked puzzled.

"Okay then," said Foaly, once he had wiped the smirk off his face (mostly). "So as I was saying, all we have to do is borrow a human airplane, fly across to Agelia, and land a little ways away from Don'tyoudareeventhinkaboutputtingjamonyourturtle. Then we'll sneak up on her and execute plan A, which..."

"And plan A is...?" said Root.

"Will you STOP INTERRUPTING!" shouted Foaly. Butler and Juliet tried hard to keep from snickering. Usually Foaly annoyed Root. But now, for some odd reason, it was the other way around.

"DO YOU WANT TO BE FIRED, DONKEY BOY!"

"NO! BUT YOU'D BETTER LISTEN, OR I JUST MIGHT QUIT!"

"Will you both STOP IT!" yelled a new voice. Everyone turned to look at Artemis, apparently the source of the voice. Butler and Juliet stared. They had NEVER heard Artemis raise his voice before.

Under the eyes of everyone in the room, Artemis cringed a little, but kept going with what he'd planned to say. "Listen. I know you're all tired and frustrated. Everyone here is. But we really can't afford to have disunity right now. It..."

"Will you quit bossing us around, Mud Boy!" shouted Root.

"No, listen," said Artemis quietly. His voice had a strange hypnotic quality in it now, which held even Root spellbound. "You have told us before that Holly is one of your best officers. If she really is, now is the time to help her. Butler, Holly has saved me before. You know that as well as I do. She has also saved you. This is the time to repay that debt. Juliet. You are a good friend of Holly. Now she needs your help. And Foaly, you are also her friend. I say the same to you, to all of us. She needs our help. We have to save her. Are we going to argue? Then the price will be Holly's life."

There was dead silence for a moment. Then, slowly, everyone came to themselves again.

Butler was the first to speak. "You're right, Artemis," he said. "You're absolutely right."

One by one, everyone agreed, Root last among them. "I suppose so," he said grudgingly. "But you know I'm not good at controlling my temper…"

Foaly suddenly broke out in a coughing fit, during which the word 'understatement' was clearly audible.

"Right, fine," Root said. "You know I'm really bad at controlling my temper, so don't expect me to be perfect."

"I'm not," said Artemis, more gently than he usually did. "I just want us all to try. For Holly's sake."

"I can do that," said the commander quietly. There was a long silence. Then he added brightly, "So…who's going to fly the ship?"

"Um…" said Foaly.

"Ah…" said Butler.

"Er…" said Juliet.

"Me," said Artemis.

"WHAT?" everyone chorused.

Artemis shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed. "Well…how hard can it be?"

Without a word, Juliet, Butler, Foaly and Root looked at one another, then sat down and buckled their seat belts.