A/N: School and homework and hunger… So little time to write stories. That's no fun.

Shan: Hahaha! I named him Apples and Bananas because for some reason my cousin who played Apples and Bananas when we made this movie thing five years ago decided his character was going to be named Apples and Bananas. I still don't get why.

xxlei: Lol. No, it's not a reality show. It's supposed to be like a TV special that you're watching. Sort of. And the viewers are supposed to guess if the story is true or false. It doesn't really make much sense…

0000

The next day the girls got up bright and early to exercise in the gym with the Activities Coordinator of the cruise, Luna Lovegood.

"Okay, girls!" she said excitedly. She hadn't seen any of them in such a long time! "Grab your weights and lets get moving!" She started pumping her fists up and down as they clenched weights while bobbing around on her two feet.

The girls were located in the gym which was a low-ceilinged room where mirrors lined the walls and a hideous pink carpet with turqoise and lavender polka-dots on it covered the floor. There was a fitness center on the other end, but this area was reserved for physical workouts with Luna and her helpers.

"One and two and three and four and – don't give up girls!" was Luna's advice.

Hermione, Ginny, and Pansy looked as though they were about to collapse. Cho was barely doing the moves so as that she wouldn't break a sweat while Lavender, Parvati, and Alicia were totally into it, bouncing up and down with Luna and getting smelly and sweaty.

"Woohoo! I can tell that Lavender, Alicia, and Parvati sure aren't afraid to get down and dirty! Come on, girls!" Luna cried. "Don't give up! I know you can do it! Just another minute and I'll give you a water break!"

That minute lasted twenty before Ginny and Hermione found themselves emptying out the water cooler.

"Gosh, I'm going to have to pee in two seconds," Ginny commented.

Hermione would've responded if she had any breath left in her.

"I wonder what we're going to do after this," Ginny wondered aloud.

"Well, Ginny," Alicia said loudly, overhearing the conversation. "I actually was going to tell you guys that later, but I guess this is a good time now. I'm having you guys get in shape now because this afternoon we're having our first photoshoot and fashion show!"

"Oh my God!" Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati screamed.

Hermione only smiled to herself and Pansy found it hard to hide her excitement. Cho's expression didn't change one bit. She was having too much fun praciticing her grumpy model look.

0000

The fashion show began later that day, after everyone showered, in a restaurant that had a long elegant staircase leading down to a bar and lounge. The girls were to slowly make their way down the stairs and into the appropriate seats.

The girls made their way down one by one, wearing sophisticated but casual clothing. The Photographer was snapping away while Blaise, Apples and Bananas, and Ron, who invited himself, stood at the side, observing.

Alicia was first, wearing white clam-digger shorts and a pale yellow halter top. She smiled broadly as she made her way down the stairs slowly, making sure everyone had all their eyes on her.

After Alicia was Cho, who insisted that she be next. She was wearing a long, thin, navy blue shirt with thin straps and a plunging neckline. Underneath she wore sleek black leggings and ballet flats. While Alicia was smiling as she strolled down the maroon, carpeted stairs, Cho was sure to frown like a model the entire way down. She wanted everyone to know how serious she was about all this.

Hermione was next. She had her brown hair straightened and was dressed in a deep purple collared shirt with a short, flowy white skirt. She looked very embarrassed to have so many people looking at her and to even have someone taking pictures of her.

After her came Lavender. She was dressed in layered blue and pink tanktops with a mini blue jean skirt. She seemed completely confident, despite the fact that she'd never done anything like this before.

Parvati was the next girl to descend the stairs. She was wearing her thick, black hair down and light blue cotton shorts. Her shirt was shortsleeved and light green. She had a long necklace wrapped several times around her neck.

Next was Ginny. She had on a short, white, lacey dress and gold shoes. She looked an odd mix of virginal and extremely uncomfortable as she walked slowly down the stairs, willing herself not to trip on her own feet.

Last, but not least, came Pansy, who was dressed in a long, white shirt with a belt around it and tight jeans with tall boots. She had a confident smirk on her face but a wary and nervous attitude could be seen behind the expression.

When all the girls were in their seats, Alicia got up to speak to the group about completing their first fashion show/photoshoot on the Fashion Cruise.

"Congratulations, girls!" she started.

But that was all she got to say before a choking noise could be heard and Cho was dead on the ground before anyone could say another word.

0000

Now Time for a Commercial Break

"Are bullies getting you down?" asked a voice.

Apples and Bananas approached Blaise and started beating him up.

"Do you feel that sometimes you just can't win?" the voice continued.

Apples and Bananas left and Blaise stood up, shaking his head.

"Well, come to the Apples and Bananas Gym!" the voice suggested.

Blaise started doing pushups on the ground, right where he was standing.

"They'll train you to be strong men."

Now Blaise was approaching Apples and Bananas.

"So next time you get faced with a bully."

Blaise successfully beat up Apples and Bananas.

"You'll just kick them into the dust."

0000

Now Back to the Show

Apples and Bananas was standing nervously outside the boat hospital. He wrung his hands.

"Cho has been in there for over five minutes," he said nervously to the camera. "I don't know what's happening. Who would do this? And why? Jealousy? Money? Who knows? And how could these emotions esclate to the point of murder? All I can say is everyone is much different than I remembered them. And not in a good way at all."

Meanwhile, inside, Alicia was having a discussion with the doctor, Dr. E-Mac – formerly known as Ernie MacMillain – about Cho's condition.

"She is in critical condition," Dr. E-Mac said. "It seems that someone has poisoned her with a substance known as sodium fungide. It is a very powerful and toxic poison."

"Do you think she will make it?" Alicia questioned anxiously.

"Right now things are not looking very good for Cho," Dr. E-Mac answered sadly.

"How can we find the person who did this?" Alicia asked.

"Well, sodium fungide is only legal in one country, Azerbaijan, so anyone who may have been to that country or have had contact with it may be the culprit," Dr. E-Mac explained.

Suddenly a woman appeared from the direction of Cho's room. She looked distressed as she handed a note to Dr. E-Mac. He opened it up and looked at it sadly.

"It seems that Cho has just lost conciousness," he explained. "She didn't make it."

Alicia looked stunned. "Thank you, Dr. E-Mac."

0000

Alicia knew that now she really had some investigating to do. It didn't take her long to figure out that both Apples and Bananas and the Photographer had taken trips to Azerbaijan earlier that year. What they could possibly be doing in Azerbaijan, she had no idea.

Purchasing a few grams of sodium fungide, perhaps?

She decided to have some interviews with the girls that evening after they had all rested for a few minutes. She held them in her room with the shades drawn and the lights dimmed.

"So, Lavender," she said, as the girl next to her sobbed hysterically into a tissue. "How do you feel about what happened to Cho?"

"It's terrible! Just awful! To take away someone's opportunity to have such a great career!" Lavender broke into a wave of even more sobs.

"As you know, sodium fungide can only be legally purchased in Azerbaijan," Alicia informed the weeping girl. "Apples and Bananas and the Photographer both were in Azerbaijan earlier this year." Someone handed her a piece of paper. She opened it and gasped. "It seems that Blaise was in Azerbaijan earlier this year as well," she added. "Who do you think did it, Lavender? Who do you think killed Cho Chang?"

"The Photagrapher! Definitely the Photagrapher," Lavender voiced. "He hated her since the day we arrived at Hogwarts all those years ago! He did it!"

0000

And the interviews continued like that.

"So, Parvati, who do you think killed Cho?" Alicia asked in a very Law and Order-like manner.

"Blaise! I know it was Blaise!" Parvati cried through tears and snot.

"Hermione, who killed Cho?"

"The Photagrapher!" Hermione answered. "I saw the way he looked at her and I saw the way he glared at her and I saw the way he was itching to add that sodium fungide to her drink!"

Even Pansy was crying.

"Pansy, who do you think killed Cho Chang?" Alicia asked.

"It was Apples and Bananas! Ever since she dumped him our fifth year I know he's had it out to kill her!" Pansy shouted before doubling over and sobbing into her pants.

Then it was the last interview.

"Ginny, who do you think killed Cho Chang?"

Ginny was the most flustered and shaken of them all. Maybe it was because she was the youngest.

"Blaise – no, Apples and Bananas – no, the Photagrapher!" she decided, sobbing and hiccuping at a deafening decibel.

Suddenly the lights went out and the room was silent. They came back on in a few seconds and Lavender was lying unconcious on the ground in front of them!

"Oh my – oh my God!" Alicia responded. "Oh my goodness! Oh my gracious! Someone's gotten Lavender, too!"

Ginny had a hand over her mouth in terror. "I think we should have a fashion show to get our minds off of this…"

"Good thinking, Ginny."

0000

A/N: Ha, ha, ha, ha. This makes absolutely no sense to anyone but me. Oh, well. Please review! I'll give you lots of ice cream! I LOVE ICE CREAM!