Her hands were shaking as she grasped the sink in her bathroom, tears falling from her eyes like waterfalls. She tried to slow her breathing, but a sob got caught in her throat, and she sank to the floor in panic. Wrapping her arms around her knees, she finally gave up and curled into herself, deciding to let her tears run their course. It was no use to try holding back anymore.

She was a day late for her monthly cycle, and she knew she was pregnant. In her entire adult life she had never been late, not once. It would always come like clockwork, last the same amount of days, everything was exactly the same every time. When she awoke the prior morning and it hadn't arrived, she was certain she had miscalculated, forgotten a day somewhere. But she knew in her heart it wasn't true, and it only took until the next morning for her to admit it.

And what would Georg think? They had still never had a conversation about children. She had no idea if he wanted more, and she certainly didn't know if she did. Seven children were quite enough. She was afraid he would be upset or angry in some way. Not at her, of course, but at the situation.

The worst part of all was that they weren't even married yet. There was still a month left until their wedding, and by the time the baby was born, people would certainly be able to do the math. There were enough rumors floating around without them actually giving much reason for gossip. The talk would be relentless!

And she very much wanted to be married before becoming pregnant, simply from more of a moral standpoint. She found it incredibly vulgar to become pregnant outside of marriage, even though she had long ago given up her perspective on having sex outside of marriage. She felt dirty, her mind dripping with guilt as she wiped her face. She felt entirely distraught. Though she knew she couldn't be too surprised; she herself had revealed to Hede not long ago that they had never done a thing to prevent a pregnancy. They had been incredibly irresponsible about it all.

"Fraulein Maria, are you alright?" Liesl knocked on her bathroom door, presumably wondering why she hadn't come down for breakfast. She took a deep breath, trying her best to compose herself.

"Liesl, could you ask your aunt to come here, please?" Her voice sounded hoarse, tears threatening to fall all over again. She heard the girl shuffle a bit outside the door.

"Of course, I'll send her right up. Can I get you anything else?" She smiled sadly to herself, Liesl held a special place in her heart.

"No, thank you, dear." She heard Liesl rush off, and it didn't take long before Hede appeared and was knocking upon the bathroom door. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, of course. What's going on?" She stood and opened the door, Hede's eyes widening at the sight of her. "My God, Maria, you look like hell."

"Oh Hede, I don't know what to do." She covered her face with her hands as her future sister-in-law closed the door behind her. "I think I'm pregnant."

"Now, calm down." She took Maria's shoulders in her hands, meeting her overflowing eyes. "Why do you think you are?"

"Because I'm late, and I'm never late."

"Women can be late. Just because you've never been doesn't mean you aren't now. Maybe your cycle is just changing up a bit." She shook her head, knowing her body well enough to know that was not the case.

"No, I just know it. Ugh, I can't breathe." She bent over and placed her hands upon her knees, doing her best to calm herself. She was unable to gather her racing thoughts, everything felt so fast and surreal. Suddenly, she felt a cool washcloth placed upon the back of her neck as Hede ran a supportive hand over her back.

"And you and Georg still haven't had the children conversation yet?"

"No, I have no idea how he feels. I don't even know how I feel, so I haven't brought it up." She closed her eyes at the feeling of the washcloth, finally taking the deep breath she needed.

"Let's go to the doctor then. We'll eat breakfast and then drive into town." She wasn't sure about that. She hadn't been to a doctor in a long time, but was hopeful there was one in town who could see her. Hede read her thoughts. "I'll call to make sure we can get in, and then we'll tell Georg we're going for a last minute dress fitting."

"Yes, okay." She nodded, finally able to breathe now that a game plan was made.

"I need you to calm yourself and fix your face. There's no need to worry until there's truly something to worry about." She shook her head, her body was shaking.

"I'm so scared." Hede took her hands in her own, giving her a small smile.

"I know. But I'll be there with you, okay?" Maria nodded, trying her best to return the smile.

Georg's eyes were heavy upon her at breakfast, but she told him nothing at all. It wasn't typical of their relationship, as they shared everything, but for some reason she felt that her possible pregnancy would cause so much more trouble than she could have imagined. She was not willing to have the conversation with him until she was certain. It wouldn't have been fair to worry him if it really was just an overreaction or miscalculation on her part.

She and Hede visited the doctor, and Hede talked him into rushing a test for them. Maria had never felt more thankful for anyone in her life, as she did not feel equipped to even speak for herself, let alone go through an appointment alone. Hede bullied and pushed and spoke up for her in ways no one ever had. She couldn't have been happier to have Hede as her future sister. They were supposed to know the results of her test within twenty-four hours, so they decided to head back to the villa as if the dress fitting went well and nothing was amiss.

She used the children as a distraction, playing games in the garden and running about with them. She did anything she could to distract herself, even going as far as making the children work out a new song with her using their puppets. They weren't exactly excited, but they went along with it for her. For the first time since she had become their governess, she was the one wearing them out instead of the other way around.

Georg kept trying to get her alone, but for the first time ever she felt thankful for Hedwig's constant presence that wouldn't allow it. The closest he got to her was to give her a kiss goodnight, and with an early morning appointment he had, she knew she wouldn't see him again that evening.

It was difficult to sleep at all that night, when she finally found herself alone with her thoughts. She tried to be kind to herself, but her brain gave her a certain level of scolding for being so careless. They had been incredibly lucky throughout the duration of their affair, and she knew it was only a matter of time before they were punished for their actions.

But was punished really the correct word? She felt that children were a gift from God, so perfect in their own little ways. Certainly a baby was not a punishment, it was a blessing. A consequence, certainly, but never a punishment. She couldn't pull herself entirely from her feelings of guilt, and perhaps she was still in shock, but thinking of a child as a blessing helped her at the very least finally fall into some kind of sleep.

xxxxx

"Maria, you have a phone call." Georg found her on the terrace the next afternoon, looking quite confused as to why she would have a phone call from a doctor. He didn't even know she had gone, and it made his heart sink. He allowed her to walk ahead of him, not questioning her as she entered his study and picked up the phone. She would surely explain in her own time, but he felt unarmed.

"Hello." The last word she would speak before she knew the truth...even though she already knew the truth, the test confirmed she was pregnant. The doctor gave some advice, but she wasn't sure she heard any of it before thanking him and hanging up. Her eyes felt heavy, but she feared she had already cried enough the night before that there was nothing left.

"Maria, you're scaring me." Georg's voice brought her out of her own head; she never thought she'd see the day when he admitted fear.

"I'm pregnant." His eyes widened, surprise and shock very evident by his unguarded expression. She looked to her feet, unable to bear the weight of his gaze. She felt ashamed and guilty, but she had at least had the time to allow her shock to wear off a bit. It was only fair that she allowed him time as well.

"I have to admit this is very unexpected." He ran a hand through his hair, doing his best to remain calm. "Is that where you went yesterday, then?"

"Yes." He stepped forward, tilting her chin upward so she would meet his eyes. He didn't seem as upset as she expected, but she could tell his mind was racing by the way his eyes were bouncing back and forth between her own.

"Why didn't you tell me?" A tear fell down her cheek, and she felt him gently wipe it away with his thumb.

"I wasn't certain, and I didn't want to upset you."

"Upset me? I'm more upset that you didn't feel like you could tell me." She stepped away from him, crossing her arms over her chest in comfort. She didn't need a lecture from him at the moment.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel. We've never discussed having more children."

"It's not ideal timing." She quickly met his eyes, anger behind her own.

"Yes, I'm quite aware of that." Her voice sounded harsh to her own ears, and she knew they were treading a thin line of taking out frustration on one another. Or perhaps only her; he didn't seem as upset as she expected.

"Maria, a baby can only be a blessing. Given your faith, you must believe that." She paused, feeling even more ashamed that she had let her true feelings show.

"I...I don't even know if I want to have children, though." He chuckled a bit, stepping forward to place his hands upon her upper arms, holding her at length.

"It's a bit late to decide that, I'm afraid."

"And you?"

"I would love nothing more than to have a child with you. A little girl who has your beautiful eyes. Or perhaps a boy who likes to command his siblings with a whistle." She laughed, running a hand over her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm clearly not doing well with it all." He pulled her close, placing a kiss to her forehead before enveloping her in a hug. After all the floundering she had done for two days, she had finally found her anchor.

"It's alright, darling. It is quite the shock. But you're going to be a wonderful mother. You already are, you know." She held him tightly, feeling relief wash over her at his attitude. It was clear that neither of them would have necessarily called themselves excited yet, but they at least had each other. He laughed a bit to himself, kissing her atop the head. "I'm going to be such an old father."