Author's Note: I don't own Supernatural. Reviews give me life.

***Ember POV***

March 22nd, Noon

Bobby was burned in a hunter-style funeral in his old home. Ember felt sure that it was an appropriate rest for him. It was what he would've wanted.

"Dean?" Ember asked after the funeral.

"Yeah?"

"I know there's a lot of history between us, but-…"

"That doesn't matter now, Ember."

"Well, exactly. You're going after Dick Roman, right?"

"Yeah. Obviously."

"Good. Let me know when you get a lead, okay? Any time, any place. I want in. Promise me you'll let me know, both of you. After what he did to Bobby… this is personal. Promise me."

And they both had promised.

The following four months were largely uneventful. Ember talked to Sam every few days, and texted with Dean fairly often as well. The three of them even grabbed dinner about once each month, when the brothers happened to be coming through town.

Ember and Dean seemed to have come to a truce in their united focus against Dick Roman, the leader of the Leviathans, who had shot Bobby. For Ember, like for the brothers, this was personal. The three of them were able to put together that Dick Roman and the Leviathans were buying up land in various places, but everything else was hazy and unconnected at best.

When Ember wasn't researching Dick Roman, she was working, or moving. She switched apartments monthly, and almost always slept away from home. Even so, she had met two Leviathans, both of which she had sprayed with borax before beheading. One of the Leviathans had taken over her Supervisor at her job. It had made the crucial mistake of attempting to attack her in front of 3 other members of administration, and nearly managed to eat the Deputy Director.

"Look," Ember told the three other adults in the room. "Here's the deal. Demons are real. Angels are real. Monsters are real, like vampires and werewolves. Those things are called Leviathans. Jackie's been dead for days. Sorry."

"You… you saved us!" said her Deputy Director.

Ember, who was having a panic attack, didn't have time for this. Her head was far past gratitude and explanations. I'm going to have to go on the run again, with Dean and Sam. And Dean and I aren't even dating…

In the end, though, Ember was given a promotion. Apparently the Deputy Director had some experience with the supernatural herself, and was happy for someone to finally provide her with some explanations. She was also happy to have a resident expert on staff. Ember took the promotion, in return for the Deputy Director "officially" terminating her employment with the company and sending her paychecks and official documentation through a front company. "I get that you want me to stay here to protect you, and I couldn't be more thrilled," she explained honestly. "But I need to leave a false trail. I've killed one of theirs, now."

In the end, everything worked out. Ember had hated Jackie anyway, and her relationship with her Deputy Director was much improved. Her new duties as Supervisor, however, were overwhelming, and took up most of her time. She didn't even have time for dating, and the one brief relationship she had after she and Dean had broken up ended shortly after Bobby's death. Overall, she was married to her job, and she liked it that way.

Finally, on March 22nd, Ember received a call to change all that.

"Hey, Ember, what hospital do you work at?"

Ember was surprised; Dean very rarely asked about her work, and even when he did, she could tell he was having difficulty caring. Therapy was as boring to him as football was to her. "Uh, Lutheran Memorial, why?"

"Do you guys have an adult ward? I mean, you work with kids, right?"

Ember rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dean, I work with kids."

"Okay, but you're at least allowed on the adult ward?"

"Yeah, my badge gets me everywhere… what's going on?"

"It's Sam," Dean said. "Lucifer finally got to him. We're coming to you."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

"So what's your game plan here?" Ember asked Dean later over a cup of coffee at her apartment. It was the first time Dean had been in her apartment, or any of her houses, since they'd broken up, but neither of them were thinking about that.

"What do you mean?" he said, turning the pages of an address book.

"Dean, the hospital can't help him, you know that."

"You helped him last time, didn't you?"

"Not as much as I hoped I could," Ember admitted. "That's how I know we can't help him now. These hallucinations… they barely respond to normal medications. It's different, because the cause is different. And Dean, you can't even tell me what's wrong with him," Ember pointed out scathingly. "I mean, as a Therapist, 'Lucifer finally cracked him' is less than helpful."

Dean looked irritated. "You're the one who's always preaching about self-help and emotional intelligence and trauma whatsit whatever," he snapped.

"Dean, that works with normal people. It even works with really horrible normal trauma. But Sam was locked in a cage with Satan for over a century. You're gonna need to go supernatural with this."

"What, like a faith healer? You don't think I've looked?"

"Don't get irritated with me, Dean. I'll look around too. All I'm saying is, we can house him with us… keep him safe from himself and others, and all that. But we can't help him, not really. And he won't last much longer without sleep… if we don't come up with something, Sam will die."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

Three days later, Sam was still wide awake. It had been seven days now, Ember knew, and Dean had found nothing. At the moment, she was off work, invisible, in his room.

"What's he doing now?" Ember asked Sam. "Do you want me to keep reading?" She had been reading Harry Potter out loud for the past hour and a half, hoping it would distract Sam from Lucifer. So far, it seemed to be working only partially. He wasn't asleep, but at least he had a semi-relaxed look on his face and was no longer wincing with pain every few seconds. (Lucifer had been reportedly screaming in his ear with a megaphone.)

"He keeps making sexual comments about Hermione," Sam groaned. "But if you're willing, please." He didn't open his eyes, though Ember could tell he was still awake.

Suddenly, the shrill ring of Ember's phone cut through the air.

"Dean? What'd you find?" Ember said, picking up the phone quickly.

"You're not going to believe it!" Dean said. "It's… it's Cas!"

***Castiel POV***

March 26, Night

Emmanuel knew there was something missing. Whole chunks of his life were missing. He had a feeling, however, that he didn't want to know about the things he couldn't remember. He liked his life with Daphne. He liked doing God's work. He was happy.

Since he had met Dean, and the demon Meg, however, this feeling had increased. Why was he so comfortable with this man he barely knew? Why did he trust him when he said that the demon girl was a friend? Why had those two gone off together to talk in hushed voices? And who was this "Cas" that Dean had spoken of, that had betrayed his brother so badly, and why did this name seem so familiar as well?

Quietly, Emmanuel approached Dean and the demon. "You know what he did," Dean was saying. "And you want to tell him and just hope that he takes it in stride? He could snap, he could… disappear! Who knows?"

Emmanuel had known it, somehow. He had known it all along. "I gather we know each other?"

Dean looked upset, but the demon girl was calm. "Just a dollop," she said sarcastically.

Emmanuel knew what he had to do. "You can tell me. I'll be fine."

"How do you know?" Dean said irritably. "You just met yourself, I've known you for years!"

"You're an angel," Meg said.

"I'm sorry," Emmanuel said. "Is that a flirtation?" But there was something so familiar about her words that he knew it wasn't.

"No, it's a species," said the demon. "A very powerful one."

He knew this. He didn't even need to look at Dean for confirmation.

"She's not lying," Dean said. "Okay? That;s why you heal people, You don't eat. I'm sure there's more."

This explained everything. All of the things that Daphne had said were so very strange about him…

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Emmanuel said slowly. It was a lot to process, but he knew there was more still that Dean wasn't telling him. "Being an angel… it sounds pleasant."

"It's not, trust me," Dean said. "It's bloody. It's corrupt. It's not pleasant."

"He would know," the demon said. "You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually."

"We're… friends?" Emmanuel said. And Dean's face told him everything he needed to know, and he understood. "Am I… Cas?" There was no answer, and he took this as an affirmative. "I… I had no idea. I don't remember you, I'm sorry."

"Look… you got the juice," the demon woman said. "You can smite every demon in that lot." She gestured to the hospital where Dean's brother was being kept, which was surrounded by demons in human meatsuits.

He had known this too, somehow, though he didn't want to admit it. For the first time since he could remember, his life was starting to make sense… and suddenly, he desperately didn't want it to. "But I don't remember how," he said.

"It's in there," Dean said, coming closer to him. "I'm sure it's just like riding a bike."

"I don't know how to do that either," Emmanuel replied frankly. But he looked at Dean, who was so sure of him. "All right, I'll try," he said.

And as he smote the demons, he remembered. "I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition"… "Hey, assbutt!" … "I'm sorry, Dean…"

The first thing he felt, once the demons were gone, was an overwhelming sense of guilt.

And suddenly, a new feeling came over him, as he was enveloped suddenly in a fierce hug. Ember. And he remembered. "I may be a half-demon, but I'm pretty sure I'm more righteous than you today."… "Now I understand these feelings I've always had for you. For a moment I was scared I was actually attracted to a demon!" And, more recently, "Don't you have demons to fraternize with, or angels to betray, or Heaven to take over or something?"

"I remember you," he told the group fiercely, separating painfully from her hug. He wanted it desperately, he realized, but he didn't deserve it. "I remember everything. What I did. What I became. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Sam is dying in there," Dean said.

"Because of me!" Castiel exclaimed. "Everything! All these people! I shouldn't be here." And he walked away, because that was all he knew how to do.

"Cas! Cas!" Dean and Ember yelled, chasing after him.

"If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time!" Dean yelled after him.

"Don't defend me," Castiel snapped at Dean. "Do you have any idea the death toll in Heaven? On Earth?" Hundreds… "We didn't part friends, Dean!"

"So what?" Dean said.

"I deserved to die," he answered shortly. Had that been his plan? Was that where he was going? "I can't possibly fix it. So why did I even walk out of that river?" Why am I still here?

"Maybe to fix it," said Dean, and Ember nodded, reaching out to hold Castiel's hand. He flinched back, suddenly scared, and she put her hand in her pocket, shooting him a hurt look. I can never fix it.

"Wait," said Dean. And from the trunk, he pulled out Castiel's old trench coat. You saved it? Even though I had betrayed you?

Castiel couldn't fix everything he had done. But he'd do what he could to fix Sam.

What he could do, however, was not much. Apparently he'd done too good a job, way back when he was determined to open Purgatory.

"What do you mean you can't?" snapped Dean, and Ember put her head in her hands next to him.

"I mean there's nothing left to rebuild."

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"Because it crumbled," Castiel said. "The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever's happening inside his head right now."

"So you're saying there's nothing? That he's gonna be like that until his candle blows out?" Dean asked.

"I'm sorry," Castiel said. "This isn't a problem I can make disappear. And you know that." This is my mess, Castiel thought. I can take it upon myself… I owe that much to him… "But I may be able to shift it," Castiel told Dean.

"Shift?" said Dean.

"Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet." He sat down at Sam's bedside, flinching at the man's crazy eyes. "It's better this way," he said. "I'll be fine."

"Cas?" Ember said, starting forward, but Castiel held up a hand, and she stopped.

"Wait, Cas, what are you doing?" asked Dean.

"Now Sam, this may hurt," Castiel said, facing the scared man on the bed. "And if I can't tell you again, I'm sorry I ever did this to you." Castiel took one long look at Ember and Dean as he took in Sam's pain. Ember looked scared, and Castiel wondered if she was scared for Sam, or for him. "I may be a half-demon, but I'm pretty sure I'm more righteous than you today."…

After that, all he saw was Lucifer, for a very long time.

***Ember POV***

March 27, Day

"I don't like it, Dean. Do you understand the margin for error on this plan of yours?" Ember asked.

"Castiel needs someone to stay and watch him 24/7. None of us trust Meg completely, over a long period of time. So, Meg watches Castiel, you watch Meg. Come on, you guys have always gotten along… mostly." Dean offered a small, hopeful smile.

"When I said she was the only demon I wouldn't kill on sight, that didn't mean we got along, Dean," Ember said derisively. "You do remember she stabbed Bobby three years ago, right?"

"Look, I don't like her either," Dean snapped. "But do you have a better idea?"

Ember sighed. "No, I don't have a better plan. And I know you guys need to get back to Dick." The three of them shared a short smile about the double entendre. "I'm just voicing my opinion that I don't like it. And that you two should visit more often."

"We'll try," they both promised.