A/N: A song for people. To the tune of fill the decks with bits of holly, or what ever that Christmas carol is.

Fill the school with kerosene (Falalalala lalalala)

Light a match and watch it gleam (falalalala lalalala)

Watch the school burn down to ashes (falala falala lalala)

Aren't you glad you played with matches? (falalalala lalalalaaaa)

That was random… but fun!

Chapter 18: Hermione

"Ask him out."

"Why would I do that?" Hermione and her two best friends were sitting in a totally random place.

"Because you love Draco." Harry had been trying to get Hermione to admit her undying love for Draco Malfoy.

"Look, I know how to settle this." Ron said trying (and possibly succeeding for once in his life) to be peace-keeper. "Next time someone asks Hermione out she has to say yes."

"That'll settle it."

"How do you expect me to do that? I would be lying to them."

"So?"

"Your point being…?"

"You guys are hopeless."

"Hey look. Perfect timing." Harry said as he saw Draco walking up behind Hermione.

"Act calm and don't make it look like we made you do this."

"Hey Hermione! Wanna go out?" Draco, having just strutted his way up behind her, now thought that this was a fantastic pick-up line, or so Hermione thought.

"OK then. Where, when and how?" May as well get this over with.

"Details, details." Draco said waving his hand like the queen. "See you around." Gosh he is up himself.

"Toodle-oo!" Oh gosh. Damn you Harry! Damn you Ron! Look at what you made me do!

"See? It wasn't that hard." Ron said feeling very proud of himself.

"God damn it you guys! I can't believe I did that! I have to go tell him what happened." She said beginning to get up.

"Oh no you don't." Harry said as he and Ron grabbed her arm, his fingers grabbing Ron's in the process.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Damn that Blaise. He makes everything so loud. I hate him." Ron said although his bodily language was totally contradicting what he said. (A/N: I DO NOT MEAN HE HAS A BONNER YOU SICK MINDED PEOPLE!)

"Oh." Harry muttered, noticing Ron's body language and putting two and two together.

"Go fuck each other will you!" Hermione said trying to get their hands off her, although after she said this it took no time at all for them to spring backwards holding their arms close to them as if the other one was going to cut it off.

"No way!" They both said.

"Oh yeah I forgot. You both want me bad." She said stepping closer to them and putting her hand on their shoulders. "Meet me in the library." She said huskily. Harry and Ron just jumped back again. "I knew it. You are gay."

"Am not!"

A/N: Voila! The eighteenth chapter. I wonder how long This will be… Oh well. Writing to spite people works for me!