Author's Note: It's difficult to write for Dean because he doesn't talk about his feelings at all, or unless he's really motivated. At the same time, though, he's a bit better at doing it with the fairer sex than he is with Sam, even. Let me know if you think this is right, or what changes I should make. Reviews are my lifeblood! I don't own Supernatural.

***Ember POV***

ONE YEAR LATER

Over a year had passed since Dean and Castiel had sent the Leviathans back to Purgatory. Ember had a busy life. She talked people down from suicide (or homicide) on a daily basis, and supervised several employees who did the same. It wasn't the same as hunting, of course. There were fistfights, though, and there was a lot of drama, and she was saving people, so some days it felt about the same.

Ember was 30, nearly 31. In the year since Dean and Cas disappeared, she had settled down in a modest two-bedroom apartment and decided to become licensed as a foster parent. She wasn't finding a man anytime soon, anyway. Frankly, none of them could measure up to Dean. Still, she desperately wanted children, so this seemed like the best course of action.

She still ran into occasional demons. There had been one demon in the past year, and one Leviathan, which scared her far more. Overall, however, her home life was quiet, and her work life was stressful, and she spent time with friends on the weekends.

Ember rarely spoke to Sam anymore. For the first month after Dean and Castiel's disappearance, they had spoken nearly daily as Ember attempted to follow up on leads about Dean and Castiel. There had been relatively little to follow up on, however. Dean was not able to be summoned and so was not a ghost. Crowley and the demons, even under torture, promised that Dean and Castiel were not in Hell, which (by process of elimination) meant that they had gone to either Heaven or Purgatory. The Leviathan Ember captured said the same.

Ember and Sam desperately hoped that Dean was in Heaven and not Purgatory. They prayed to a variety of angels in Heaven, as well as several non-specific prayers, to give some sort of sign as to whether or not Dean was in Heaven, but got no result. Ember even managed to locate a reaper and asked if Dean was in Heaven. "It is not my business to know which humans are in Heaven," the reaper told Ember. "I did not reap him, but I can't tell you more than that."

"You're an angel, right? You have angel radio?" Ember begged. "Surely they've said something about Castiel."

"The fallen angel has disappeared. He has not been seen since the Leviathan were vanquished."

"Thank you," Ember told the reaper.

"Do not come back to this realm until it is time for your reaping," the reaper told her. "You are in good favor with Heaven… do not tempt us."

Without any confirmation on whether or not Dean was in Heaven, Ember turned to searching in Purgatory, but this was even more difficult. The spell Castiel had performed required a lunar eclipse and the blood of a Purgatory native. Short of selling her soul to Crowley (and even then she wasn't sure she could succeed), she didn't see a possible way to obtain the blood of a Purgatory native.

By the time Ember had done all of this research, it was nearly October. Each day, Sam had seemed less and less interested in the search for Dean. "We promised him that if we got separated, we wouldn't look for him," Sam said one day in late October.

"But-…"

"I hate that he's gone, Ember, you know I do!" Sam said. "But he wouldn't have wanted us to make a deal with a crossroads demon, and the angels aren't responding, and the Alpha vampire is our only lead left. I've got hunters all over the US looking for him, but until we hear something, I don't see how much more we can do."

Ember knew Sam was right, but she was also surprised to hear that he was giving up. She felt hurt, and insulted, and perhaps even guilty – if Dean's brother wasn't actively searching, she, as his ex-girlfriend, should have probably given up a long time ago.

Ultimately, Ember turned her attention to making plans to become a parent. Sam, she knew, had a girlfriend and a dog in another state. Over time, therefore, Ember found herself talking to Sam less and less. First it was once every few days, then once a week, then once every two weeks, and, eventually, perhaps once a month.

Until October 3rd, when Dean Winchester showed back up in her life.

***Ember POV***

October 3

The phone rang. Christ, it's Sunday morning, Ember thought, rolling over in her bed in an attempt to go back to sleep.

The phone continued to ring. "Oh, alright," Ember grumbled, picking it up and pressing to answer.

"Ember?" said the voice on the other end.

Ember's heart stopped. "Who - who is this?"

"It's me," Dean said. "Look, I just sprung out of Purgatory. Do you know-…"

"Dean, what the fuck! Purgatory?! What happened? Where's Cas? Where are you now?"

"Whoa, slow down! I'm in Maine. It's a long story. I'm okay. None of Sam's numbers are working, though. Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah, I've got an updated number. He's in Texas these days."

"Yeah? What's he working on there?"

He has no idea what's happened. "Um… look, a lot has happened while you were gone. Maybe we should talk first. I'll give you Sam's number, but will you drop by on your way to Texas? I can meet you halfway if you can hitch a ride."

"Nah… I can hitch the whole way, don't worry," Dean said. "It'll take me a couple of days, but I can be in Lafayette by Tuesday or Wednesday."

"Okay," Ember said, still in disbelief.

She hung up the phone, and continued to lay in bed, hoping for sleep. She was fairly certain, however, that that ship had sailed.

***Dean POV***

October 5, Evening

Dean had come to a lot of realizations in Purgatory.

One of these realizations was that no matter what it took, he was going to get Ember back. The Leviathans were gone, and he was out of Purgatory. If she wanted him to settle down, he would settle down. He preferred not to, of course, but he had been right back when they were dating: he had lost too many people that he loved to let Ember out of his grasp when what they had had been so perfect. Bobby and Castiel would have liked the idea of him settling down, anyway.

Dean was anxiously awaiting his first sight of Ember, but when her door swung open she was nowhere to be seen. "Holy water, silver, salt, Borax," her voice commanded out of nowhere, and all four were provided in the doorway.

He had forgotten how smart she was, and how good at this. After he had given himself the run down, he said, "Your turn." She became visible again, and quickly began the "holy water, silver, salt, Borax" routine. Her hair was longer again, like it had been the year they'd settled down together. She was less muscular than she used to be, but no less thin. She wore a tank top and black leggings, and she looked at him with suspicion in her beautiful dark eyes. He thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"What?" she said, misunderstanding his staring.

"Nothing, it's…" he trailed off. "I've just been…"

She seemed to understand. "How long has it been since you had a cheeseburger, Dean Winchester?"

A cheeseburger sounded very, very good right now. Ember rolled her eyes. "Let's go out, then," she said. "I'm driving, no complaints. Let me get changed."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

Dean had forgotten how much he liked cheeseburgers. He had thought about them in Purgatory, but what he remembered barely compared to the actual taste. When he'd come back from Hell, Castiel had reunited his soul with an already prepared body, and he hadn't been nearly this hungry or thirsty. He ate his fill of expensive cheeseburgers, and promised Ember he would pay her back when he got the chance.

"Jesus, Dean, don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're back. Speaking of which, what took you two days to get from Maine to Indiana? You should've been able to hitch that in less than a day."

Dean thought for a moment, considering how much of the story of his time in Purgatory he should tell her. Ultimately, he decided on some of the truth. If he ever wanted her back in his life, he needed to trust her. That was part of how things had gotten messed up the first time, he knew. "I, uh, found a friend in Purgatory," Dean said. "And when I got out, there was some unfinished business I had to take care of in Louisiana, for him, before I did anything else."

"A friend?" Ember asked, obviously curious.

Dean pursed his lips, suddenly regretting beginning this conversation. "Look, you know how you were always saying that being a monster is a choice, for some people? And you never gave up hope about finding some more monsters who were... friendly?" He tried to make it sound kind, instead of the way he'd brought it up during their last discussion about the subject two years previously.

"Like Lenore," Ember said.

Dean had forgotten about Lenore, the vampire who stayed alive on donated blood.

"Yeah, exactly like Lenore, actually," Dean said. Ember seemed to accept this easier than he had expected, so he continued. "I ran into a vampire, like Lenore, and… I never would've gotten out without him," Dean admitted. "We fought together."

Ember nodded thoughtfully. "Did he get out with you?"

And there it was. Dean hadn't meant to tell her this much, and he never would have imagined telling her this… but she had asked it as calmly as if she were asking "Is the sky blue?"

"Yeah, he… he's settled down south."

"And you believe him?" Ember said. "About the donated blood?" Ember glanced at him briefly, but he could tell she was not being accusatory at all. Was there any other hunter he could trust to be this calm and open-minded about something like this? Had there ever been a half-demon hunter in existence?

"Yes, I do," Dean answered.

"Okay," Ember said. She looked at him then. "Thank you for telling me," she said.

"Yeah, just… don't tell Sam, okay? Not yet. I just… don't know how he'll react."

Ember shrugged and grumbled something under her breath.

"What?" Dean asked curiously.

"Nothing," Ember said. "It's…" she sighed, then turned toward him. "Look, Sam's a little… different than when you left. Okay? It's not bad different. He's not in trouble or anything, and he's still in perfect health, he just… he's different. We had a couple of disagreements, and we only speak every… I don't know, every month or so."

Dean was shocked. "Why? What the hell did he do?"

Ember looked pained. "Look, he's not in any trouble, it's just… you have to hear it from him, okay?"

Dean knew her well enough by now to know that she wasn't budging. "Okay. I gave him a call, I'll be out there by tomorrow night," he said. "I suppose I'll find out soon enough."

Ember nodded. "Like I said, it's nothing bad, just… different."

"Alright," Dean said awkwardly. "So… what's new with you, then?"

"I'm becoming a foster parent," Ember announced.

Dean tried quickly to cover his shock, and knew that he was failing miserably. "Um… do you… you are?"

"Yeah," Ember said. "I'm just at the beginning of the process, though. I just took the first training class last week. I'm so busy, it'll be a few months yet before I can get my license."

"Did you… get married?"

"No," Ember said, laughing. Dean got the impression that she was choosing whether or not to say something. Finally, she looked down at her own cheeseburger and said, "Dean, I've never been able to find a guy I fit with as much as you." She looked him in the face. "I know we had our problems, and those certainly haven't gone away, but where the hell else am I gonna find a guy that can defend himself against the demons that come around, but won't judge me for being half-demon? It's just not gonna happen. So, I've given up. I'm skipping the whole 'husband' thing and just moving on to being a parent."

Well, that conversation hadn't gone the way he'd thought. It had started promising, what with the whole, "I've never been able to find a guy I fit with as much as you" statement, and Dean took a second trying to figure out where her speech had gone so wrong. It was probably somewhere around the word "parent", he decided.

"Aren't we a little… young to be parents?" he asked her.

"Dean, I'm almost 31. And you're 33." She sniggered. "You're 73, if you count Hell. You're an old man, Dean Winchester." She smirked. "You might have to start having proctology exams."

"Oh, hell no!" Dean said, allowing her to switch off this dangerous subject. After that, Dean and Ember returned to discussing Purgatory for awhile. Dean told Ember about all of the monsters they had killed in Purgatory. "It's… Purgatory is pure," he explained to her. "That's what I always told Benny. No power, no corruption, no politics… just running for your life, all the time."

Ember made a face. "I'm so sorry, Dean… we tried to look for you… well…" she left off, then seemed to shake her head. "Anyway. In the end, we knew you hadn't gone to Hell, but we couldn't be sure whether you were in Heaven or Purgatory. And I tracked down the spell Castiel used to get into Purgatory, but it required the blood of a native of Purgatory, and there was just no way-…"

"It's not on you, Ember," Dean said. "There was no way you could've gotten Cas or I out."

Ember nodded. "Speaking of Cas," she ventured, letting the sentence linger unfinished.

"He didn't make it," Dean said flatly.

"Are you sure?" she asked kindly.

He looked away from her. "Yes," he said. There were things he would talk about with her, because it was her, and because he wanted her in his life… but, there were some things he still just couldn't talk about.

Ember seemed to sense this. "I'm sorry," she said.

By then, Ember and Dean were leaving the restaurant and on their way back to Ember's place. "You're staying the night," Ember informed him.

"I don't want to put you out," Dean said. "You really don't need to-…"

"You have no money and no credit cards, not even fraudulent ones," Ember said. "You must've either squatted or slept outside the past three nights. Has it been since before Purgatory since you slept on a bed?"

"Yes," Dean admitted.

"Point made, I think," Ember said.

Dean wasn't sure whether or not to take Ember's words at face value. She hadn't yet said anything to let him know that "staying the night" meant anything more than him sleeping on the couch… but he also hadn't stayed the night with her since they had dated two years ago. In his head, he flew quickly through their interactions since their breakup: when Bobby had died, she had stayed at a hotel under a false name, favoring complementary breakfasts and hot showers to the amenities offered at Rufus' cabin. When Sam had gone insane from Lucifer, he had visited her apartment, but not stayed the night. Finally, when they had traveled together shortly before Dean went to Purgatory, Ember had always made sure to stay in a separate hotel room.

A man could hope… "What did you miss most, while you were in Purgatory?" Ember asked as they filed into her small apartment. She had been living here for awhile, he noticed, and not moving around like she did with the Leviathans. The apartment bore the unmistakeable signs of someone protecting themselves from demons (salt in the doorway and on the windowsills), however the amount of furniture and knick-knacks suggested that she had finally been able to put down roots again.

Dean thought for a minute, while nursing a beer. "You, and Sam," he said slowly. "And cheeseburgers. And sex."

Ember laughed. "I missed you too," she said. "Had loads of cheeseburgers, though. Sex…" she sighed, and he could tell that she was pretending not to notice how closely he was paying attention. "Haven't had sex since a couple of months after you disappeared," she admitted.

This was his "in", and he knew it. "How come?" he asked, standing and moving closer to her.

She shrugged. She was doing the dishes, but Dean noticed she'd been rinsing the same dish for the last 10 seconds. "Friends with benefits guy got married," she admitted.

Dean almost asked, "Want a new one?" before remembering that this wasn't exactly a proposal for a romantic relationship. Instead, he pushed down his jealousy and settled for, "He did, did he?" Then he slunk his arms gracefully around her slender waist. She turned in his arms and kissed him, first awkwardly, and then more steadily.

Finally. How many times had he dreamed of this in Purgatory? The real thing was nothing like the dreams, though. She was soft and pliant in his arms, and she smelled heavenly, of things that reminded him of better times. He wanted her, fast, and hard, but the mood wasn't right.

In spite of himself, he picked up the pace, kissing her faster and harder. In response, she pushed him backward, lightly. He fell back against her on couch, and she climbed on top of him.

***Ember POV***

October 5, Late Evening

Ember hadn't expected this today, but it was a stroke of luck. Dean had been the best she'd ever had, there was no contest. She had never been sure whether it was because of his skill, or because he was by far her longest relationship, and he had simply dated her long enough to find out what made her scream. Ember had noticed once, long ago, the similarities between Dean's styles of sex and torture, and tonight was no exception. Even though she was on top of him on the couch, he held her inches away from himself, just looking at her. His eyes were smoldering, and she got the feeling he was wondering if she looked the same naked as she used to. As if responding to her thoughts, he began to slowly peel off her top, discarding it on the floor. After giving her another long, appraising look, he smiled, and leaned forward to kiss and suck on her neck.

She moved closer to him, enough to feel his hardness, and he groaned at the friction, but still didn't thrust upward. He used one hand to tease just under her underwear on her lower back, and the other to seamlessly unclasp her bra, which then joined the shirt on the floor. He stopped for a moment, only then realizing that she was trying to tug his shirt off as well.

Now both shirtless, he pulled her to him and finally rocked upward. It was her turn to groan, but no sooner had he pressed where she most needed him than he had rocked back again, away from her. He cupped her breasts, rubbing the sensitive nipples, and sucked on both.

Ember was impatient, and began to unbuckle his belt, but he closed the distance between them again, rocketing upward and covering her mouth with his. It was another few minutes of kissing and thrusting before he finally allowed her to unclasp his pants, finally freeing him. By that point, she was more than ready for him – nothing was more intoxicating to Ember than the restraint of a man who he knew was starving for her.

He was harder than ever, and she took as much of him in her mouth as she could. He groaned a loud, guttural, groan, and Ember maneuvered her hand toward his ass, pulling him closer.

"Your turn," he whispered, forcing Ember away from him, and instead pulling her back onto his lap. This time he pulled her onto his lap fully, thrusting up where she wanted him most. She had on a pair of leggings, and he separated them just long enough to peel them off, along with a pair of red underwear.

"New underwear," he whispered into her ear, his voice low and husky. "I like them. But I like you better without them."

She made to position him at her entrance, but he feigned slightly left, causing her to gasp when his hardness pressed her sweet spot. She whined, and he grabbed her ass, rubbing her across him again, his tongue exploring her neck and shoulder. It didn't take long before she came undone, crying his name and then shaking in his arms. It had been so long since she'd had sex, and even longer since she'd had sex like that… ironically, it occurred to her that she actually hadn't even had sex yet.

Just as she was thinking this, Dean lined himself up at her entrance and thrusted, filling her to the hilt. Both let out a groan, and Ember took over and began slowly moving up and down, occasionally throwing in a circular motion. It wasn't long before they were both panting with a rhythm that had been established years ago, and never really forgotten. Finally, with a final thrust, Ember felt her walls clench around him. He followed her only a second later, shouting her name as he came.

***Dean POV***

October 6, Morning

When Dean awoke, he felt happier than he had in a long time. Things were back on track. He was back from Purgatory, and he'd had a cheeseburger, and sex, and he was in bed with Ember again.

Or maybe he wasn't. "Where are you going?" he asked her, opening one eye to watch her get dressed.

"Work," she said. She smiled at him. "People don't stop having issues just because Dean Winchester comes home from Purgatory."

Dean tried not to show his pout, but she caught it anyway. "I figured you'd want to get on to Sam," she admitted.

He did want to go see Sam, but still… "I do, but… do you want to come with me? Like before?"

Something changed in her expression then, a slight flinch. "Dean… look, I'm about to be a mother."

Right. Yeah, he'd forgotten about that.

"I mean, we haven't done this in… in two years, you know? And… I mean, it was…" She shook her head. "It was great. Like, Jesus, you rocked my world, I'll readily admit it."

Dean smiled with pride and moved to kiss her, but she continued. "I just don't know…"

Dean understood. It didn't change anything. She still wanted a family; he still wanted to hunt. It was now or never, then. Dean said, "Ember, I can settle down. I… well, I'll admit I didn't think it would come this fast, but… I can phase out hunting, you know? And I've stopped drinking, because, you know, there's no alcohol in Purgatory…" he trailed off, realizing that he sounded like he was begging. "I… I want you back in my life. For good. I don't think I ever really stopped wanting you in my life."

Ember looked pained. "Look, I… I don't know what to say to that." She shifted uncomfortably. "Dean… look, you're not going to be happy unless you're hunting. We both know that. You were the one last night who told me that Purgatory was pure…" She avoided his eye, and seemed to be choosing whether or not to say something. Finally she said, "And it's not just about me being a mother. You still shoot first and ask questions later. Dean, you just got back from Purgatory. You're… you're jumpy. You're like a war veteran just home from the war and not sure how to handle life again. And I love you, Dean, I always have, and I always will, I just don't…"

Dean felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. He was hurt, deeply. "Fine," he said. "I'm sorry I asked." And he began to gather his things.

"Dean, wait!" Ember looked crushed, and began hurrying after him. He saw a tear slide down her cheek. In spite of himself, he stopped. "Look… I don't know what else to do anymore, Dean. I spend half of my life wanting to be with you, and the other half trying to figure out how the hell I'm supposed to work being with you into the rest of my life. And clearly it's not working. So here's what I'm proposing: Call me when you can. Come around when you can. And when you can't, don't. Because even that's more than I have now. You say you wanna make another go of it, maybe phase hunting out eventually? Fine, we'll see what happens."