She awoke in Georg's arms, smiling at the feeling of being held so safely. Only one more day until she would be his wife, and she couldn't stop the smile that graced her lips at the thought. She turned over and began to place kisses upon his cheek, moving over his neck as he began to stir, nibbling a bit as his jaw.
"What are you you trying to do, Fraulein?" His voice was sleepy, and she smiled as she continued placing kisses against his neck.
"Tomorrow you won't be able to call me Fraulein anymore."
"You'll be my wife. I'll call you what I please." She chuckled, moving to place a kiss upon his lips. He held her close after she pulled away, bringing her to his chest and cuddling his cheek against her hair. "Are you sure I can't take you on a lavish honeymoon? I would love to take you to Paris and completely spoil you."
"No, I just want to be married and get settled into a life without houseguests. Then perhaps when it starts getting warm again we could go?"
"I've never met a woman who didn't want to go to Paris."
"Oh, I would love to go!" She leaned upon her hands to look into his eyes. "I would just like for things to be calm for a moment first."
"That is one thing we can absolutely agree on." He pecked her lips, giving her a soft smile. "Are you feeling alright today?"
"I do have quite the headache." He chuckled a bit, pulling her closer.
"Hangover, I believe you mean." She gave him a dirty look, but smiled.
"It's not so bad though. Actually, I feel...a bit like myself, I think."
"Good. Destroying things really does make one feel a bit more relaxed." She smiled, reminded of the way she felt when she shattered the glasses against the wall of the ballroom. It felt so powerful, almost liberating in a way.
"Thank you."
"I am always here for you. No need to thank me." She kissed him once more, finding nothing but love in his eyes as he looked deeply into hers. After a moment of gazing at one another, she smiled and began to get out of bed. She opened her wardrobe and began digging through, trying to decide what to wear. "Maria."
"Yes?" She turned around when he didn't continue, finding him sitting upon the edge of the bed and looking at her. She raised her eyebrows in question.
"I hope I haven't made you feel that you can't be yourself when you marry me."
"What do you...oh." She remembered revealing her feelings about her clothes the evening before, and she felt a bit ashamed. "Georg, I don't know if I've ever thanked you properly for allowing me the means to buy such lovely clothes. I don't want you to feel I'm ungrateful."
"That never crossed my mind, darling. But you're uncomfortable."
"Sometimes. But I also understand that I'm marrying into a role where I'll need to look a certain way on occasion." He stood and took her hands in his, his brow furrowed.
"I don't ever want you to feel like you're compromising yourself. You are perfect to me, no matter what you're wearing." She smiled, placing a hand upon his cheek.
"Georg, it's okay. I was going to take vows to wear a nun habit for the rest of my life, I'm just happy I have color options." He laughed, wrapping her in an embrace. "But I understand what you're saying, and I thank you for saying it."
"Wear this today." He reached forward and grabbed her brown dress, the one she typically wore when she and the children were going to the mountains or planning to get dirty in some way. It was her most comfortable dress she had ever made. "You look beautiful in this one."
"Your mother will eat me alive if I wear this." She smiled, returning it to her wardrobe, and pulling out one of her new dresses, one that she actually did like to wear. She truly couldn't say they were all bad. He shrugged, placing a kiss upon her lips before he made his way toward the door to go to his own room.
"After the way you talked to her last night, she may in fact decide to piss off." Maria groaned as he left, remembering another reason for her to feel embarrassed for her actions the night before as she laid her dress out upon her bed and made her way to the bathroom to shower.
She wasn't necessarily regretful, though she did wish she hadn't argued with Hedwig in front of the children. She made a mental note to talk to them about why her actions were unacceptable, hoping she could save them from making such mistakes in the future. She was much too impulsive. If she was going to be their mother, she would have to be sure to work on her own responses and reactions to set a good example. She stopped, sighing at the thought of motherhood, the sting of the reminder of her lost baby.
Running her hands over her face, she pushed herself forward and started her shower, allowing the warm water to wash over her. She knew she would never forget, and it had only been a few days, so of course the sting was still very painful, but when she awoke that morning it wasn't the very first thing on her mind. She had almost managed to feel normal for a moment, she thought, no matter how short-lived.
She was surprised to find the children dressed and ready when she arrived to bring them to breakfast, all smiling, and the little ones taking her hands and leading her down the hall. They chattered and laughed, as if there hadn't been a dark cloud over the house, and it made her feel better simply by association. As the little ones entered the dining room, Liesl stopped her just outside the door, appearing a bit nervous.
"What's the matter, dear?" Maria tried to smile to ease her mind, but found herself to be quite curious.
"I never find myself alone with you long enough to speak properly."
"Yes, it is quite the full house these days, isn't it?" Liesl nodded, and Maria wondered if she had missed something in the girl's life during her preoccupation with everything else at the moment. "I promise it will calm down soon."
"I will be grateful for it." She smiled, shifting from one foot to the other. "I wanted to make sure you're alright. You were quite unlike yourself last night. Well, ever since..."
"Yes, I have been a bit...um, things are difficult." She looked to the floor, her hands upon her hips as she sighed. "I apologize for being distant."
"What I mean to say is, if there's anything we can do to help, we want you to tell us."
"We? You're here as the spokesperson for your siblings?" She smiled, and Liesl shrugged.
"Friedrich thought it should be him, but I felt that woman to woman would be best." Maria smiled at the seventeen year old, noting that she did seem so much more grown up than she had when they first met. She really was becoming a woman right before her eyes.
"That is very sweet of you all, but I think time will be the most help at the moment."
"We're all very excited to call you mother. Should we wait?" Maria's heart warmed, loving the knowledge that they were so accepting of her as their new mother, and loving the fact that they wanted to do it on her time as well. She shook her head, bringing Liesl into a hug.
"I can't wait to hear it. You can call me mother whenever you feel comfortable doing it." She loved the children so dearly, loved Georg more than she could imagine. She desperately couldn't wait for their new lives to begin. And with that thought, she felt a surge of excitement that she hadn't felt in a moment.
The excitement was quelled, however, when she and Liesl joined the others at the breakfast table. The tension in the air was thick, and it was immediately obvious that angry words had just been spoken. As she sat in her chair, Maria decided it was Georg and his mother, judging by the way he tapped his fingers against the table and her lips were set in a firm, angry line. Maria had seen that look several times since she met the woman, so she knew it well.
"And now we should wait for you as you dawdle about?" Maria looked up to find that Hedwig was staring at her, expectantly.
"Are you speaking to me?"
"You're the only one who is perpetually late. Highly disrespectful." Maria sighed, biting her lip to compose herself for a moment before responding. She had actually been quite good at being on time as of late. Georg's face was bright red already, and she knew he would be no help to anyone if he spoke. She supposed it was as good of a time as any to set the proper example for the children and attempt to restore the peace.
"Hedwig, I would like to apologize to you for my behavior last night. I said some things that were very inappropriate, and I'm hopeful you can forgive me." Hedwig was very clearly unarmed, appearing ready to argue and continue the hateful words they had begun to exchange the night before. Georg looked at her from across the table, doing his best to decide what exactly she was attempting to accomplish.
Hedwig nodded, diverting her eyes and turning her attention to her breakfast. It was a silent meal, minus the few jokes and bits of excitement from the children before they had to rush off to school. Hede and her husband appeared to be arguing, but it was always difficult to tell where they stood with one another anyway, so Maria simply reached over to feed the baby a few bites of her eggs while they grumpily focused on themselves. She supposed with as frustrated as she and Georg were with so many people in the house, they were all fairly annoyed with one another as well.
Georg and Maria had plans for the day to begin moving her belongings into his bedroom, making it their bedroom. Though she was adamant that she would sleep in her own room that night, hoping to keep some form of tradition. She supposed it didn't really matter, but she insisted all the same. She truly just wanted one night to herself to breathe, talk to God, and perhaps have some time of solitude before the big day ahead of them.
"Come with me." Maria jumped as Hedwig whispered harshly into her ear, on her way to the drawing room after breakfast. She looked to Georg for guidance as she stood from her chair, but he only shrugged.
She was nervous, not really sure she wanted to follow, but felt that they had somehow turned a corner with one another, even though nothing could be further from the truth. Perhaps she was walking to her own demise, Hedwig waiting to give one last effort to get rid of her before the wedding. She wouldn't have been surprised at that point; nothing the woman said could surprise her anymore, she thought as she entered the drawing room. She closed the door behind her, knowing the conversation was meant to be private, and she joined her future mother-in-law in looking out the large windows.
"Are you bringing me here to murder me?" Hedwig scoffed, but never took her eyes off the trees blowing in the wind outside.
"So dramatic." Maria rolled her eyes, as she herself was not the one she would have called dramatic in any sense. "But you're good for my son. He seems happy."
"Oh?" She had no words. It was obviously a trap...wasn't it? Her guard was always up.
"It's difficult for me to admit when I'm wrong." She didn't continue, but Maria somehow knew everything she was saying without the words. She was certain there was some form of apology in there somewhere.
"I see. But you're doing so now?" Hedwig looked frustrated, but nodded a bit in confirmation. "Thank you for that."
"I'll never say it again."
"Well you've hardly said it now, but I accept your apology." Maria laughed a bit, but the woman never seemed to understand her sense of humor. She bit her lip, contemplating her next course of action as they fell into silence. "You know, with me not having a mother, I really had hoped we could be close one day."
"I do not get close to people." Her words were sharp, but then they usually were.
"Yes, I see that now. But I will always be open for it." Hedwig finally turned to meet her eyes, a look of surprise upon her face. She quickly hid it, but Maria could see the woman behind the mask, only for the slightest second. It was unnerving, but she was glad to have witnessed it. It was good to know that a real woman was still inside somewhere.
"I also want to say you're very strong...Georg and Hede were meant to have a younger brother, you know." Maria's heart began to beat faster at the revelation of the only personal thing she would likely ever know about Hedwig. She wondered if Georg knew. Silence followed the admission, but Maria could feel traces of the beginning of a bond she would have loved to have.
"How far along were you?" Her words were quiet, doing her best to show her own empathy.
"Six months." Maria's eyes widened, unable to imagine losing a child so far into pregnancy. The pain must have been incredible, she thought. She wanted to ask more details, bond over the feelings they had likely shared between their experiences, but she knew none of that would have been well received.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"I feel the same for you." Maria felt a tear trying to escape, but desperately didn't want to appear weak in front of her. Hedwig only looked out the window, as if her head was in another time completely. "Don't let it turn you cold. You miss so much of everything else."
"There is still time. You have seven grandchildren who would be the perfect place to start." She clasped her hands behind her back, awaiting a response, but she never received one. Instead, they simply remained side-by-side for a while, observing the groups of birds sweeping across the lake, beginning to migrate to a better climate. Maria wondered if perhaps her family was doing the same.
