Their wedding was beautiful. She couldn't stop smiling from the moment he placed the ring upon her finger, and her heart could have burst with joy. The entire day was perfect in every way possible, and by the time they got to their reception, she found that Georg had the biggest smile on his face she had ever seen from him. She wasn't sure she could have imagined a more wonderful day if she had tried, and she was sure to remind Hedwig and Hede how thankful she was for everything the had done throughout the planning process. They truly were her saving grace when she knew nothing at all about planning a wedding.
They had decided to wait a bit before going on a honeymoon, neither of them feeling that the time was right in their lives to leave home. While she supposed most couples in their circle left on their wedding night to go somewhere luxurious with the intention of introducing their bodies to one another, she felt a bit embarrassed now to say that they had already experienced that phase of their relationship, and then some, having done things a bit backward in comparison. They were more concerned with getting their guests out of their house and settling into family life at the moment. It had been a long time since they had been without company.
They spent the evening dancing and entertaining their guests, and she was surprised that even though there was food as far as the eye could see, she was hardly able to take a bite of anything with how busy they were. Aside from taking a breath while the children performed a song for them, there wasn't much standing still. Everyone wanted to talk or hug or kiss their cheeks, she barely said a word to Georg except in passing.
And then just as quickly as everything sped up, it all slowed down, and the guests began to bid them farewell. The noise of the day began to quiet, and she found herself finally sitting down for the first time in hours, taking to a chair in a corner to get a moment to herself. She stepped out of her shoes beneath her dress, wiggling her toes a bit to work out the aching in her feet. Heels were still not her favorite shoes to wear, even after all the parties and events that had required them more recently. She was very thankful that her dress was comfortable, at least.
She watched across the room as the children danced together, the little ones giggling as Georg swooped in and lifted them in his arms. She laughed to herself, loving how caring and fun he could be as a father. He had let his guard down a bit after most of the guests left, only those who were closest to them remaining. Suddenly a plate of food was thrust in front of her, and she jumped at the surprise.
"Oh, you scared me." She laughed as Hede pulled up a chair next to her, and she took the plate of food willingly as she was handed a fork.
"I remember my wedding day, and I was starving." Maria nodded as she took a large bite of her food, feeling her stomach growl in relief. She had no idea what she was eating, but hardly cared.
"There were far more guests than I expected."
"Yes, that's because you didn't check up on my mother after giving your demands." She laughed, taking another bite and shaking her head.
"I don't much care now, I suppose. It was all so lovely. I can never thank you enough for all you've done to help." Hede smiled, giving a small shrug.
"Georg would kill me if he heard me say this, but you do feel more like a sister to me than anyone I've ever met, including the children's mother." Maria stopped eating for a moment, giving her a soft smile. "I'm very happy to call you my sister."
"I feel the same way." They shared a gentle smile, one that Maria had found herself coming to adore as they had become closer. She laughed a bit, turning back to her food. "Though I wonder if you ever expected to say that after the night you kissed me."
"How did I know you were going to bring that up?" She laughed, and Hede brought a hand to her face in embarrassment.
"Because I'm still surprised."
"If only I'd gotten you a bit more drunk beforehand."
"Hmm, funny, that's what Georg said after the first time he kissed me too." She laughed at the thought, taking one more bite before placing the plate upon a table near her and sighing in contentment. "Must you go home tomorrow too?"
"Don't lie, you are dying to get the house to yourselves again."
"Well yes, but I do hope you'll visit often."
"You have to visit as well. Nora will be lost without you at bedtime for quite a while, I'm afraid." Maria smiled, having proven herself as the only person who had much luck getting the toddler to fall asleep most nights.
The rest of the guests left, the band finally stopped playing, and she found herself wrapped in Georg's arms as the children piled into the car. She supposed it was insanely untraditional to drive themselves home after the wedding, but she had to admit she wanted nothing more. All she wanted to do was go home with her family and share their first night as a married couple in their own bedroom. The thought of finally being able to share a room in the open made her smile.
She wished circumstances were a bit different though, no matter how perfect the day had been. If she were to be honest, she very much wanted to make love to her husband on their wedding night, but her doctor had instructed her to wait until her checkup the next week before she did. No matter how she was able to find joy in her wedding day, there was still the nagging sadness in the back of her mind at the thought of her lost child. She knew it wasn't her fault, had overcome that ideology quickly, but the knowledge wasn't working to dull the pain. She wished things were simply different. Perhaps somewhere inside she even wished she had saved herself for her wedding night, she wasn't sure.
"You've been quiet." Georg's words pulled her from herself, and she smiled as she untied her robe and hung it over the foot of the bed.
"I think I'm overwhelmed by today." She pulled back the covers and slid into bed, smiling as he joined her, turning off the light before wrapping her in his arms.
"I can understand that. It certainly was a lot of attention."
"Too much attention. I was so sure I would do something clumsy with them all watching." He laughed, placing a kiss upon her temple. He lingered, his lips gently pressing against her skin, as he took in the scent of her hair. He lay his cheek against her hairline and sighed in contentment.
"I wish I could show you how much I love you." She turned her head and placed a gentle kiss upon his lips, slowly pulling away.
"I could show you?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"Not on our wedding night you won't." She smiled at the stern look upon his face. "You shouldn't even know how to do that on your wedding night."
"Lucky you, then."
"You know what I mean." She laughed gently before he gave her a soft kiss, meeting her eyes. "We never properly courted."
"There was no way for us to do so."
"I was a coward. I could have made a way for us to do so." She smiled, but he seemed to be going down a path that upset him. Hoping to ease his mind, she rolled closer to him and wrapped her arm around his waist, bellies pressed together.
"What did we miss out on, anyway? I'm certain we know one another much better now than we would have by courting traditionally."
"There is something to be said for easing into things. We had barely kissed before I took your virtue." That day felt so long ago, but she had never once regretted it. Looking back on it, she supposed she had rushed into things rather quickly for someone who was on her way to becoming a nun.
"I asked you to."
"I should have said no." She scoffed, leaning to look into his eyes with feigned exasperation.
"How could you possibly tell me no?" He laughed, and she smiled at her success in bringing him back from the mood he was finding.
"You do have a point. You were quite certain of yourself."
"Yes, I was." She settled back against him, sighing at the feeling of his arms around her. "What would it have been like if we had courted?"
"Oh, I've thought of this often."
"You have?" She smiled, not realizing he had ever romanticized their relationship. She had on occasion, but was too happy being in his presence to think about it too much.
"Of course I have. I don't think you realize how long I've been in love with you." She thought for a bit, trying to pick out a defining moment.
"No, I suppose I don't."
"Oh, Maria, I've loved you from the moment I saw your face. You were in the ballroom..."
"That long? You're lying."
"Not at all! You jumped when I entered and met my eyes, and that's all it took." She laughed, remembering that day quite well. She was terrified of him that day.
"I'm afraid it took me a bit longer to realize I loved you. But looking back, it may have been the moment you blew that whistle in my face."
"I didn't blow it in your face."
"You may as well have. I was astonished!" He laughed, placing a kiss against her head and smiling at the memory. "And completely attracted to you, without the slightest understanding that I was."
"Then I'm afraid I wouldn't have gotten too far trying to court you, if you didn't even recognize your feelings. What would you have said if I'd asked you on a date?" She laughed, never having thought about it. If she were honest, she wasn't one to dream or speculate too much about another scenario; she was simply happy living in the moment.
"I would have said you were being inappropriate, and I would have run away to the Abbey as soon as I could." He laughed, knowing she was right. There were many times he saw the 'fight or flight' response flicker in her eyes. He was always concerned about her being a flight risk in those days.
"So perhaps the teasing into sexual frustration really was the only way."
"Shame on you for coming on to a postulant in that way." He laughed, and she began to giggle as he tickled her stomach. She continued laughing, even after he stopped, genuinely enjoying the feeling of honest laughter. "So then, what would you have done had I said yes?"
"Well, on our first date, I would have taken you on a picnic."
"You wouldn't." She laughed at the idea of him on a picnic.
"I would! You are not the type to be impressed by a fancy restaurant, so I would have had to do something more practical, or else you would have been scared away."
"I see. And would you have tried to kiss me on our picnic?"
"And risk you turning your cheek to me? Never! But I would have taken your hand on the car ride home." She smiled at the image he was invoking; a warm summer day, holding his hand in the car as the wind blew through their hair.
"And then you would ask me out again, I hope?"
"Of course. We would have gone to a show, perhaps an opera, but a matinee so you wouldn't be intimidated by the night life."
"You really would have thought of everything. But how would you know me so well if it was only our second date?"
"You'd still be the governess, of course. I would have asked the children or paid close attention to the books you were reading. Liesl would have been very helpful, I'm sure." She laughed, hugging him to her as she pressed her cheek to the bare skin of his shoulder. She fit perfectly in his arms. He took her hand in his. "And I would have taken your hand during the second act, my thumb drawing circles like this."
"And so the teasing begins?"
"It's the only way to land someone like you." She laughed, feeling her stomach warming at the gentle caressing of his fingertips against her hand. She knew exactly what he was doing. She leaned close to his face, pressing her breasts against him.
"And then you would have kissed me?"
"No, I'd leave you curious about why holding hands was all it took to make you feel dizzy." She gave a small laugh, but he didn't stop the movement of his fingers. "I would then take you on a third date, lunch to a more upscale restaurant, but nothing too fancy. We would sit outside and enjoy the sunshine together."
"This is Austria, what if it had rained?"
"It's my story. There would have been sunshine." She laughed once again, and he smiled at the sound. "We would have been halfway home when I would have taken a back road, stopping the car next to the water so we could spend just a bit more time together. And that's when I would have scooted across the front seat and looked into your eyes. And I would have given you the most gentle kiss I could manage."
"Show me." He leaned close to her face, his lips barely touching hers as he placed a feather-light kiss upon her lips. He nearly took her breath away.
"The self control it would have taken not to take things further would have been immense, but I would have left you with just the one kiss before we drove back home." She smiled at his teasing, well aware that courting him would have been nothing short of teasing for months on end. He would have driven her mad, so intentionally too. "And our fourth date, we would have gone on another picnic."
"Repeating dates already?"
"Yes, but with intention. You see, that's when I would push the boundaries with you a bit more, being alone with you with no chance of interruption."
"You wouldn't have been afraid I would run off?"
"Not at all. You would have still been too turned on from our first kiss."
"Arrogant."
"Quite." She smiled widely, feeling his hand caress her cheek before he leaned to press a firmer kiss upon her lips, massaging them gently before pulling away. She wanted nothing more than to push him onto his back and take control, but she allowed him to continue the game. It could have only gone so far. "I would have waited closely to see your response, if you'd initiate our next kiss."
"And if I didn't? Perhaps I would be too shy." He ran his fingers gently through her hair, his thumb brushing against her cheekbone.
"I would have stayed still against your lips until you couldn't help yourself." He did just that, his lips inches from hers until she couldn't resist pressing a kiss to them. He pulled her closer with the hand on the back of her neck, and she sighed gently into his mouth. He renewed their kiss, lingering just for a moment before he pulled away.
"Let me guess: you would have stopped there and left me bereft?" He chuckled, continuing to run his fingers through her hair as he looked down into her eyes.
"That's a very good question. If I were feeling particularly wicked that day, perhaps I would have pressed you onto your back and tested how far you'd allow my hands to roam." His hand slid from her hair, fingertips softly grazing her neck as he moved to caress the skin at the collar of her nightgown. His palm gently moved downward, cupping one of her breasts.
"I would have never let you do that so soon." He gave a small squeeze, his lips tasting the skin of her neck.
"Darling, you let me do much more for much less." She rolled her eyes, but didn't stop him from placing kisses along her neck, his teeth gently sinking into her shoulder. She felt his hips press against her own, and she closed her eyes with want.
"Are you teasing me or yourself?"
"Both. I want you so badly." She ground her hips against his, hearing him groan as his lips touched hers in a fiery kiss. His lips prowled against hers as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close and dipping her tongue into his mouth. She sighed as his thumb slid across her erect nipple through her thin nightgown, his arousal pressing against hers beneath the warm blankets of their bed.
And then as quickly as they had begun, he slowed them down, his kiss turning into one of love rather than lust. After a moment of gently moving over every inch of her lips, he pulled away and looked into her hazy eyes. She gently touched her fingertips to his swollen lips, loving the way they appeared after they kissed.
"Say I let you do all that on the fourth date. Then what?" He chuckled, resting his forehead against hers.
"Then I would have proposed immediately, and we would be surrounded by chaperones until this very moment."
"And how would you have made love to me on our wedding night?" He pulled her close, settling next to her against the pillows
"Exactly the way we did our first time, only I would have told you how much I love you the entire time." She smiled, remembering their first time as if it were yesterday. He had been so sweet and kind, so gentle with her. She was surprised she didn't know she loved him right that moment.
"I love you too, darling."