Author's Note: I think I'm getting better at these love scenes. This is giving me, finally, an opportunity to really dig into where I wanted to go with this story. Let me know what you think! I don't own Supernatural.

***Castiel POV***

August 11, Evening

Castiel methodically packed the shirts Ember had bought for him in the suitcase she'd provided. He knew that the few things he owned would leave the suitcase pathetically empty, but he admitted there was still something far more satisfying about seeing his belongings in a suitcase than in the plastic bag they had recently inhabited.

Once again, it was time to leave. He'd stayed two nights last time, which was already too long. This time, he felt he had to stay only one night. He had gotten too close today, he thought. Surely she must know how he felt about her. He had to leave, for both of their sakes. He was embarrassed – what use had she, for an angel who was now mortal, and on the run? The rain was pounding right now, but he would leave when the storm passed. He had to leave when the storm passed.

Suddenly, from the doorway, Castiel heard a voice say, "What are you doing, Cas?"

He froze. Even her voice made him ache, in a terrifyingly sweet way. "Packing," he said carefully.

She was frowning, he could already tell. "I thought you weren't gonna leave until tomorrow evening?" she asked. "I have the day off tomorrow except for one client…"

She had showered after their fighting practice, and was wearing baggy lounge pants and a tight tank top that left far too little to the imagination. Castiel swallowed hard, forcing himself to look away. Yes, this had been the problem. This had been why he was packing.

"Castiel, what's wrong?" she asked. "You've been acting weird ever since the sword fight today." She put her hand on his shoulder, and fire seemed to spread through his body at the point where she touched him. "Cas, what did Krissy say to you that has you so freaked out?"

Castiel looked at Ember, arrested. She was so close. She was too close. "How did you know that she-.."

"Who do you think taught her that trick?" she said, smiling. "What did she say, Castiel? Even if you don't tell me, I'll be able to get it out of her eventually."

"She said-…" Castiel trailed off, then tried again, looking away. He was struggling for words. He did not want to tell her this, had never planned on telling her. Surely she must know, but to hear it confirmed was something different. Still, he supposed that he ought to tell her, rather than allowing her to hear it from Krissy. "The thing is, I have… I mean, I've developed… feelings." When he finally looked back at her, he found that she had somehow moved imperceptibly so that she was right in front of him.

"What kind of feelings?" she asked, and there was something different in her eyes now, something that reminded him somehow of the look in Dean's eyes just before he made a kill.

Castiel gulped again, and he could feel bits of his anatomy responding that definitely weren't supposed to, but which seemed to respond to everything these days. "Uh… romantic… feelings," he stuttered.

She studied him, her face unreadable.

"I thought… I thought since you weren't an angel… I thought you didn't feel that way anymore?" she asked.

"I don't," he said. "I mean… that part of it is gone. This is…" he gulped, looking away. "This is something different."

To his utter surprise and amazement, she smiled. "That's what I was waiting for," she said softly. She was so close now that he could see the small bead of moisture on her lips, and smell her potent citrus smell.

And then he realized what was going to happen, and his heart jumped to his throat. She was standing so close to him, and looking at him in a way that he'd never dared hope she would. He was powerless to stop himself from moving the last couple of inches toward her lips.

He had been kissed by April, and of course he had been kissed by Ember when he was being controlled by Naomi (a kiss which had haunted him for the next several weeks). He had never imagined, however, that a kiss could be quite like this. It was like soaring and falling at the same time. How long had he fancied Ember, really? How long had he imagined kissing her? Since he met her?

His kiss with April had been exploratory, and April had been very pretty, but it had been nothing like kissing Ember. He felt her tongue push into his mouth, and he added his own tongue to the mix, his heart thudding frantically into his chest. Was this happening? After all of this time, was this really happening?

He felt Ember's hand on his face, and bravely he slunk a hand on her back, pulling her just a little bit closer. He was desperate for more, but terrified to ruin what he already had.

"Cas," she said breathily, and something very animalistic stirred inside of him. Then she moved a final inch forward until they were touching, and she could feel how much he wanted her. He fought with his traitorous human body not to grind into her, but she took matters into her own hands and moved him back toward the bed. He had one hand on her back and one on her neck, and he didn't want to let go with either hand long enough to fall backward onto the bed, so she moved with him.

She ground into him, and he moaned into her mouth. Were they really – were they really going to do this? Apparently they were, because she was tugging at his shirt as if to remove it, which he allowed. "I've always wanted to see an angel naked," she said, smirking at him in exactly the right way.

"I'm not an angel," he pointed out.

"You're still my angel," she said, not missing a beat. Ember took both of Castiel's hands then and put them on her breasts, which Castiel took as his cue that this was allowed. He leaned up once more to kiss her, and very slowly began to peel off first her top shirt and then her undershirt. "You're… you're beautiful," he said, and she kissed him, hard.

His hands skittered up her stomach and ended on her breasts, because he couldn't not touch them, and meanwhile her hands were on his chest as well. She smelled amazing, different from how he remembered when he was an angel, but somehow even better. And then her hands went lower, and lower, until-

"Ember," Castiel said, breaking their kiss. "Are you sure?"

"Aren't you?" she asked.

Yes! But instead he kissed her again, until she broke their kiss to once more begin unzipping his pants. He reached for hers, meanwhile, and for a few seconds there was an awkward bit of undressing and finagling out of trousers. When both pairs of pants had been discarded on the floor, however, Ember and Castiel looked at each other, suddenly unsure.

Castiel had been so busy looking into Ember's eyes for clues – how was she feeling? Would she allow this to go on? – that he was completely surprised to feel her hands on him. He gave a loud moan, and she gave a salacious grin. Holding eye contact, she climbed slowly down him, and then disappeared from view.

Suddenly he felt her mouth close around him, and it was unexpected, and different from anything he had ever felt before, and wonderful. Even with Rachel he had never done this, and how had he never known how amazing this could be? But he wanted more, he wanted… "Let me see you," he said gruffly.

Her mouth came off of him, and he felt suddenly cold at the loss, but she shifted back into view. She smiled at him shyly before once more closing her mouth around him. The sight of it almost tipped him over the edge, but by now he was able to recognize the warning signs. He scooted up and away from her, gently guiding her until she was lying back on the bed and he was bent over her. He had wanted this for so long, before he had even known it was what he wanted, and he'd be damned if it was over this quickly.

He trailed kisses down her stomach, and she moaned his name breathily. He wasn't terribly experienced with this, but he had learned enough from watching Dean's porn of the pizza man, and from Rachel, and a few other things that he had seen and heard over the years. He knew where to touch her, and where to put his tongue. He moved around and listened to what made her gasp, and he was surprised when she came undone around him. She was beautiful, shaking, and he kissed her on the tops of her breasts as he watched her come down from her orgasm.

"That was… Cas, I… didn't know you knew…"

He smiled, glowing with pride. "Cas," she breathed. And then she was kissing him again, fiercely, and he didn't know where he ended and she began, and he was helpless to stop it. She rolled them over, and he felt an unnatural sensation, and looked down in alarm. She had wrapped him in a condom.

"Sorry," she said shrugging. "Protection."

Protection! He understood, now, what Dean had been asking. But he had no time to think about that, because it meant – it meant she was going to -…

Ember was standing over him, the moonlight glowing off of her pale skin, and her face was searching for something – reassurance for him, or perhaps an answer? He gave a small nod, and very, very slowly, she slid onto him. It was exquisite, and Castiel fought with himself not to thrust. "Ember," he begged. Very, very slowly, she began to move up and down, and he reached up to touch her, like he'd seen in the movies.

Castiel knew it wouldn't be long before this was over. He had wanted to draw it out longer, but he was powerless to stop it now (even with the condom), and it felt so good. And finally he could feel her walls clench around him, and she cried out. He followed her a second later, rasping her name as he came inside her.

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

Castiel was a human (a lousy human at that, he often thought) who was wanted by every angel in the world, and had been kicked out of the house by his best friends… but damned if he wasn't grinning from ear to ear. He was happy just to watch her sleep, the sound of her deep breathing calming him.

Still, he had only another half hour or so until the first light, and he needed to leave. Slowly, he began to move away from her, quietly gathering his clothing from the floor. He smiled to himself as he saw, in the dim light from her night light, the various bits of his clothing flung haphazardly around the room, mixed with hers.

"Cas?" she said, and he froze, looking at her through the darkness.

"Cas, you're not leaving?" she said, looking hurt.

"I…" He fought against the urge to stay another day, knowing he was already pushing his luck. "Ember, I shouldn't have stayed even this long…"

Her face fell. "I don't want you to be in danger," he said desperately. "I don't want…"

She nodded, though her face remained guarded. "I'll get up with you. I'll walk you out."

Slowly, she shuffled out of bed and turned the light on, wincing at the bright light. When Castiel's eyes got used to the light, he saw that she was wearing only her underwear from last night. The sight sent a jolt of arousal through him, which caught him off guard. How could he be feeling this again, after last night? Still, he had learned long ago that Ember made him feel things he might never fully understand. Unable to resist, he moved toward her and put his arms around her, kissing her shoulder and her neck.

She had been in the process of putting on her jeans, but turned around in surprise, and her mouth had curled up into a smile. "I thought…"

He looked at her questioningly.

"Never mind," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"I thought you wanted to leave."

"No," he said, surprised. He kissed her neck, careful to keep his erection away from her, because he didn't have time to have intercourse again, as much as he would have liked to. "But I have to."

She hung her head. "I understand." And she leaned up again, kissing him on his neck. Just as he felt he couldn't resist her any longer, and went to pull her closer, she stepped away, not realizing what he had been about to do.

"Where does that leave us?" Ember asked.

Castiel was confused at the question. "What do you mean?" he said.

Ember thought for a minute. "O… kay. Um… do you want to sleep with other people?"

Castiel thought this was an odd question. He was pretty sure he had been fairly clear on that subject. Now that he thought about it, though, he had never actually told her anything on the subject. "No, why would I want to do that?" he asked. Then he had a thought. "Wait… do you want to sleep with other people?"

"No," she said, and he felt an immense amount of relief.
"Good," he said.

"So where does that leave us?" she asked again. She had turned away from him and was picking up her clothes off the floor, as well as his.

Now he was really confused. "I… don't understand the question?" he said honestly.

She smiled, facing him again as she handed him his clothes. "I was beginning to get the feeling you were lost," she said honestly. "Cas, when two humans – I mean, when two people – have feelings for each other, and especially when they have sex, it's customary to decide at some point whether or not they want to have casual sex, or be in a relationship, or-…"

"What's 'casual sex?'" asked Castiel, stopping halfway into a pantleg.

Ember turned toward him. "That's when two people have sex sometimes just for the fun of it. But there's no feelings behind it, and they can have sex with other people if they like."

Castiel looked downward. "I don't want that," he said. He thought a second. He thought he knew what "in a relationship" meant, but perhaps he ought to be sure. "What does it mean to be in a relationship?"

Ember smiled. "It means basically what we've been doing over the past month or so," Ember said. "You make each other happy and keep each other company sometimes, and try to do good stuff for the other person. And, you commit that you aren't going to have sex with anyone else."

"Okay," Castiel said. "Can we be in a relationship, then?" He was finishing tying his shoes, because he really, really did need to leave soon.

This had apparently been the right thing to say, as her face split into a big smile. "I'd like that," she said.

"Me too," he said. She seemed to be waiting for something, so he went over to her and put his arms around her. He hoped that this was the right thing to do. He was pleasantly surprised when she put her arms around him as well, then moved toward him and kissed him, on the mouth this time.

Stars exploded behind his eyes once again, and it occurred to him that perhaps being "in a relationship" meant that he could kiss her whenever he wanted. That was certainly what it had meant with her and Dean. And there was something about the thought of Dean that bothered him, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Just as he was about to move his hand downward, Ember let go of him, and he remembered with a start how much he very much did need to leave before it got light outside. He extricated himself from her, apologizing, as he had never before wanted to stay quite so much. A minute later, he was gone.

***Castiel POV***

August 17, Evening

Castiel had been worried that when he finally returned to see Ember again, something between them would have changed. He was excited to realize that he was allowed not only in her arms but in her bed again. It was the best two days of Castiel's life. He had not known it was possible to have so much sex, to laugh so much, or to be so happy.

Halfway through the weekend, Sam called. Ember had a very short conversation with him, during which she shushed Castiel and explained that she "was spending the weekend alone… the kids are all at their friends' houses, and I'm taking a night to myself."

"You're not telling Sam that we're in a relationship?" Castiel asked, surprised and a little hurt.

Ember sighed. "No, not yet. The way our lives work, we'll need to tell them eventually. It's just… even if Sam doesn't tell Dean, Ezekiel will."

"So?" he had asked, confused. He pulled her close to him on the bed.

Ember sounded as though she were holding back an annoyed sigh, but was patient with his questions. "Okay, so say that in a year or so we broke up, and-…"

"Why would we break up?" he asked.

"I don't know," Ember said. "Say… say I didn't make you happy anymore. Or… say you found another woman you wanted to have sex with. Or something like that."

"That won't happen," he said.

"Thanks, Cas," she said, clearly touched. Then she began to sound serious again. "Okay, just… say that it does. Like, with Dean, the first time, we broke up because he convinced you to remove my memories, which really weren't his - or yours – to take away."

"I'm sorry," Castiel said. Was she still mad at him about this? Hadn't he been at fault in that instance?

"I don't blame you for that," Ember said, as if reading his mind. "I blame Dean. It was his dumb idea. You were just doing what he thought was right. But it wasn't right, because they're my memories, and so they're my right."

Castiel supposed he could understand this. Just as he decided that, however, she moved on to something else. "Okay, so say we break up. And then say I start dating someone else. Would you be a little upset at that person?"

Castiel shook his head. He understood now, but she needn't worry. "No, he said he was over you," Castiel said. "He said it was over, and he was over you."

"Yeah, he has to say that," Ember said, "That's what Dean says when he's mad about something."

Castiel shook his head. "But he even slept with someone else."

A flash of hurt shone in Ember's eyes, but she laughed. "Yeah," she said, "Because that's what Dean does when he's not in a relationship."

"Well that's… that's just…" Castiel struggled for words.

"That's Dean," said Ember.

"Are you… are you just sleeping with me to get over him?" he asked carefully.

Ember's eyes flashed a warning, and she untangled herself from him, staring at him intensely. "No, Cas," she said. "I haven't slept with anybody since Dean. I slept with you because… because I have feelings for you. That's typically why people get into a relationship."

"I'm sorry for asking," Castiel said, holding out his arms.

Ember wriggled into them again, and Castiel breathed a sigh of relief. "It's okay," she said. "I know these things are new to you. You can read people pretty well, but you don't always understand human customs. But… just because a relationship is over, doesn't mean you suddenly stop having feelings for the person. Eventually you get over each other, but it's not something you can just turn on and off, you know?"

Castiel wanted to ask if Ember still had feelings for Dean, but he didn't want to make her angry again. He also had a feeling he already knew the answer.

"So… Dean still has… feelings… for you?" Castiel asked carefully.

"Probably," said Ember. "It was never going to work, though. We just need some time apart, and then we'll be fine."

But this changed things. Why had he not thought about this? He remembered the feeling that he had forgotten something important, something that had to do with Dean… Had Ember thought about this, when she was with him last night?

"But… Dean's my friend," Castiel said. He felt guilty again, but also indignant. Would he give up this thing he had with Ember for his old friend? He didn't think so.

"Dean chucked you out," Ember said, looking disgusted with her old boyfriend. "When you needed him most. To keep secret a decision he never should've made in the first place. We both know that bunker's the safest place you could be right now."

"Even aside from Ezekiel, I still wouldn't want to put them in danger by staying-…"

"Bullshit," Ember said. "Look, it doesn't matter."

"But… it doesn't feel right not to tell him," Castiel said. "I don't like keeping secrets."

Ember paused, looking frustrated. "Castiel, I agree. I want to shout about our relationship to the rooftops. But… you're on the run right now, from just about everyone. And Dean is volatile at the best of times, and Sam's got an angel inside him that seems to have a few new ideas about living on Earth than he did when you last saw him. Adding Dean's anger about this new relationship that we have is just going to be too much for everyone, okay? And I'm not talking to Dean, and you're not talking to either one of them. And traditionally, you need to be the one to tell Dean that we're together anyway, if you really want to save the friendship."

"Why?" Castiel asked.

"If you tell him, you can say, 'I'm sorry, but she's beautiful and I couldn't resist her, please still be my friend,' Ember said, smiling up at him and kissing him on the cheek. "But if I tell him, it'll just be his ex-girlfriend gloating about a new relationship with his best friend," Ember explained. "And he'll be even more mad at you, for not being the one to tell him."

"I should tell him then," Castiel said, confused.

"No," Ember said, "Not yet. Give him some time to get past things. You know… let him sleep with a few more women. Whatever. Then, when Ezekiel has finished healing Sam, you should tell him. Right now, it's just too complicated."

Castiel couldn't deny that he wasn't looking forward to telling Dean about this new relationship, if Dean was going to be angry with him. "I suppose so," he agreed reluctantly.

They grew quiet, and Castiel sighed. "Do you think… do you think it'll be that easy? Do you think he'll be okay with things if he has a few months to… sleep around?"

Ember sighed, turning around to face him. "No," she said. "I think it's going to suck. I think he's going to be pretty mad. But… you also saved his ass about a million times. You saved the world, Castiel, more than once. If your friendship can survive you being God, and breaking Sam, it can survive this."

Castiel felt the sharp stab of guilt again, but Ember added, "Besides… do you really want to give this up?"

Just the thought of giving up this small piece of happiness made Castiel want to cry. Crying was a new sensation that had only happened to him a couple of times, and he didn't much fancy it. "No," he admitted, kissing her again.

***Castiel POV***

Fall

Castiel had lived for thousands and thousands of years, but he couldn't remember ever being this happy.

Early September marked three months since April, the rogue reaper, had found him. In that time, he had not seen another angel, nor had the deaths of angels, or humans, continued to follow him. He wondered if perhaps they were no longer looking as hard. Perhaps they believed what he had told April before she had killed him, about not knowing what Metatron had intended. He was sure that they wouldn't hesitate to torture or capture him if they found him, but he supposed they had at least "called off their most vicious attack dogs," as Ember said one evening.

To test this theory, Castiel began to stay in one place for longer, and didn't move around as much. He favored a soup kitchen in Rexburg, ID, and he spent most of his time away from Ember there. After another month with no incidents, he surprised Ember by getting a job in Rexburg at a local gas station. She surprised him by setting him up in an apartment there under a fake name. They took turns visiting each other almost every week, as well. Usually she took a plane while invisible, but his schedule also accommodated the ability for him to work double shifts for several days in a row, then hitchhike his way to and from Conway Springs, KS during a 5-day break.

Castiel loved everything about Ember. He loved the way her body moved during sex, and the way she laughed when she thought nobody was listening. He loved the way she steadfastly refused to cook, and the way she smiled when he cooked for her. He loved the children, too, who seemed to grow, both physically and emotionally, each time he saw them.

All in all, Castiel was so happy that for several months at a time, he was able to forget – about Dean and Sam, about Ezekiel, about Metatron, and even about the other angels.