Author's Note: I don't own Supernatural.

***Dean POV***

December 3, Daytime

The next time Dean saw Castiel and Ember, he and Sam were investigating what appeared to be a war between angels at a biker joint out west. When they had noticed that Castiel and Ember had shown up in their "FBI impersonation" clothes as well, Sam nudged Dean. "You've had sex with a porn star now, remember?" Sam whispered in his ear.

Dean didn't need his brothers' pity or his pep talk. "Fuck off," he told him.

The four of them greeted each other stiffly. Castiel looked happy to see them – Ember looked shocked, then horrified, then simply annoyed.

"Cas, what the hell are you doing?" asked Dean.

"Um, I still have that badge you gave me," Castiel admitted.

"Yeah," Dean said. "Uh… what the hell are you doing?"

"The murders were all over the news," Castiel said. "I thought I might be of help." Dean noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a frown flash across Ember's face. So, there was trouble in paradise, Dean thought. The frown was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

"Yeah, but Cas, you know this is an angel situation, right?" asked Sam. "You left that night because angels were on your ass."

This time Ember's frown was far more pronounced, and she made no effort to hide it. "Yeah, and you were living the life, you know?" Dean asked, before Ember had a chance to speak again. "Early retirement, working your way up the Gas N' Sip ladder?"

"If angels are slaughtering one another, I have to do what I can to help," Castiel said. "This is a risk we should be willing to take, don't you think?"

Ember was staring at Dean, as if daring him to contradict.

Castiel grinned when he received no answer. "Cas is back in town!" he said.

Dean caught Ember's eye, but she looked away, frowning again. "Seriously, did you - Did he just say that?" he asked.

Castiel ignored them. "These angels, they were butchered," he said, holding up the folder for the brothers to see. "Much more violence than was required."

"Definitely took more than one or two killers to pull this off," Sam commented, also looking at the pictures Castiel had provided.

"Hit squad? Bartholomew's people?" asked Dean.

"Well, Bartholomew has a faction we know about, but this could be somebody else entirely," Sam said. "We don't know."

"Well, whoever it is, we'll find them," said Castiel, flashing everyone grins.

Ember spoke, for the first time that day. "Please, Dean. We need your help."

Dean stared at Castiel and Ember. You've had sex with a porn star now, remember? Finally, he nodded once.

"We'll find them," he mocked to Sam in a low voice. "That's just great."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

"It is so good being together again," Castiel said over beers half an hour later.

"It's fuckin' weird," Dean admitted. "But I guess we've always made a good team." Truthfully, Dean had come to the opinion over the past month that Ember and Castiel would not last. Castiel was too socially awkward to keep Ember's attention for long – if he even lived past the next few days, that is. It was also a bit reassuring to see the glances Ember had shot in Castiel's direction during their earlier discussion, as though she was not as enamored with him as she once was. Besides that, Sam had pointed out that Castiel had saved their lives more times than they could count. Then, of course, there was the fact that Dean could count on one hand the amount of people he would trust with his life. Castiel and Ember were two of these people, ex-girlfriends and shitty friends aside. When hunting a troop of homicidal angels, Dean couldn't help but admit the tactical advantage that Castiel and Ember provided.

"We have to figure out who we're up against, what do they want, and how do we stop them," Sam was saying.

"Well, Bartholomew wants to reverse Metatron's spell," Castiel said. "Presumably to – to retake Heaven once his following is large enough. That's according to April."

Dean noticed Ember frown again when Castiel mentioned April. "The reaper you banged," he clarified, just to be a dick.

"And you stabbed," Castiel added.

"Yeah," Dean said. "She was hot."

"I thought so as well," Castiel said. "Up to the point she started torturing me." Ember rolled her eyes and shot Dean a dirty look.

"I'm gonna get us another round," Sam commented.

"I'll get it," Castiel said. He took a drink from his beer again. "You know, I've never done this before."

Dean sighed. "One beer and he's hammered," he said turning to Ember.

Suddenly, however, he saw the blue light flash in Sam's eyes that meant Ezekiel had taken over. "Oh, boy," he grumbled.

"Well?" Ezekiel asked, looking at Dean and Ember. "What are you going to do about this?"

"About Cas?" asked Dean.

"He is a beacon, Dean, pulling every angel for miles down on our heads."

"He's been living in the same place for months, and hasn't been caught," Ember said. She narrowed her eyes, staring at Ezekiel. "Should he be moving soon?"

"What is it that you're so afraid of?" asked Dean. It annoyed him that he had finally come to some sort of temporary peace in his mind with having Ember and Castiel around, only for Ezekiel to command that they leave. He felt cheated, somehow, of his ability to prove that he was over his best friend being an asshole.

"I told you," Ezekiel said. "When I chose to answer your prayers and heal Sam, I chose sides. That means I'm not in good standing with certain angels."

"Okay, well, you know what? Cas isn't in good standing with any angel, all right? But we need him, and he needs us." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ember smile.

Castiel returned at that moment. "Here we go. Three brewskies."

"I'm going to get something out of the car," Ezekiel said pissily.

As soon as he was gone, Castiel spoke up. "What's Sam's deal?"

"That was Ezekiel," Ember groaned, rolling her eyes. "He wants you to leave."

Castiel looked down at the table. "Perhaps I should leave," he said.

Part of Dean hated seeing Castiel upset, but another, more hateful part of him was completely fine with it. And, of course, Ezekiel was healing his brother… "I'm really sorry, Cas," he said. "But it might be best."

Ember gave him a look that could burn through concrete, and locked her arms with Castiel. "Come on, Cas. Let's get the hell out of here."

***Ember POV***

December 3rd, Afternoon

"I can't do it anymore, Ember," Castiel said. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

Ember sighed. It had been like this for nearly a month, ever since the incident with Ephraim. Castiel was determined to help the angels, at whatever cost. Every day, he came up with a new scheme to help them, usually plans that would end up with him dead, or worse. Two days ago, he had wanted to kill himself to go to Heaven to see Metatron. Most days, he wanted to pray to the angels to see which of them would show up. Ember had almost been glad when Castiel had read about the angel slaughter in the paper yesterday, because it at least it gave him a plan of action that wouldn't likely result in his immediate death. After Dean had sent him away, however, Ember knew he would be a wreck.

"Don't listen to them, they're assholes," Ember said to him. "We'll investigate ourselves."

"We have no leads," Castiel said.

"Cas, I've told you a million times, it's a suicide mission." She was so tired. She hated Dean.

Castiel spoke again, and it immediately struck Ember that his voice was lower and more serious even than their usual conversations about this. "Ember, you've told me that your relationship with Dean ended because he made horrible decisions without telling you, decisions that could jeopardize your future and the future of your children. So that's why I'm telling you, Ember. I'm sorry, but this has gone on too long."

Ember was startled by his words, and she felt as though something cold had suddenly gripped her heart. "Cas," she choked out. "Cas, you can't be serious. What you want to do is suicide."

"Maybe not," Castiel said. "They couldn't all come at once. They're in disarray. They don't have anyone to listen to."

"They have Bartholomew," said Ember crossly. "And the other faction leaders, whoever they are. And everyone is after you."

"Ember, this is my responsibility," he said. "This is my fault. I can't sit idly by and watch it happen, not anymore."

He was more determined than usual. "Castiel, I understand how you feel, but you're not an angel, you're-…"

"Exactly!" he shouted, and Ember was startled now more than ever. Castiel had never raised his voice to her before. "I'm not an angel! I'm a damn human, and I feel helpless! I wanted so badly for this, for us, to make me happy enough to keep living like this! And I love you, I love you so much! But I can't anymore, Ember. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore, because I've done nothing, nothing to help, even though I was the one that destroyed everything!"

Then, to Ember's horror, Castiel collapsed on the bed, tears falling freely. She knew, as certainly as she had known that Dean would never be able to stop hunting, or that she was in love with Castiel – she knew that Castiel was right. He would never be happy unless he tried to help.

"I'm going with you," she said.

His head snapped around then, and he stared at her, his eyes blown wide. "You can't," he said. "You have children who need you."

"They need you too," Ember said, though she knew he was right.

"Not the way they need you," Castiel said. Ember could feel that she also had tears on her cheeks.

"Ember, if I survive this, I promise – I promise I'll come home, and raise the kids with you, like we both want. But I have to try. I have to try, and you have to let me, and not try to come with me."

Ember held him close, because she knew he was right. She had seen how miserable he had been the last few months. He was right – this wasn't depression, or even "normal human guilt." He may not be an angel, but in his heart he had never stopped being one. "I love you, Castiel," she whispered.

***Castiel POV***

December 4, Night

If it weren't for Ember, Castiel would reflect later, he might have taken his punishment. He might have simply allowed himself to be killed by the henchman of the leader of the second faction, Malachi, the Anarchist.

But to tell the truth, he wanted to keep helping. He wanted to help other angels, like Muriel – Muriel, who had been refusing to pick sides in the war, and who Malachi had killed for it. And, he wanted to go back to Ember. He wanted to be someone Ember could be proud of.

So he told the lies he needed to tell to escape. "It's true… Metatron and I do have a working relationship. You're clever, Theo. We could use a skilled soldier like yourself." And then, when he was free, he did something he had promised himself that he would never, ever do again – he killed them all.

Then he made a single phone call, before he headed back to Ember's. He counted himself lucky when he heard Dean's voice at the other end. "Dean, I don't have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi."

"How do you know that?"

"He had me. I was tortured. But I got away."

"How?"

Castiel paused. Guilt still pricked at him, even harsher than before. "Just following your example, Castiel," Malachi had said. "How many did you kill in Heaven? And in the Fall?... A host of angels died in the fall. Died doesn't even begin to describe it. Wings shredded, unspeakable agony at your hands…"

But now, with a grace, he could make things right again. Now he could finally be helpful. "I did what I had to. I became what they've become. A barbarian," he said finally.

"Cas, what are you – where are you?" Castiel was glad to hear Dean's concern, even after he had rebelled him the other day.

"It's better I don't say over the phone," Castiel replied. "They're gonna want me even more now. But I'll be alright, I… I got my grace back. Well… not mine, per se, but it'll do."

"Wait, you're – you're back?" Dean asked. "You got your mojo?"

"I'm not sure," Castiel said honestly, "but I am an angel."

"And you're okay with that?" Dean asked.

"If we're going to war, I need to be ready," Castiel said.

"Cas-…"

"Dean, there's more," Castiel said hurriedly. "Ezekiel… he died, in the fall. I just found out. Whatever angel is inside of Sam… it's not him."

Dean was silent on the other end. Then, finally, he said, "Thanks, Cas. I gotta go."

"Good luck," Castiel said. "I'll come as soon as I can, if you'd like."

"Yes, please," Dean said.

***Ember POV***

December 5th, Night

It was still dark outside when Castiel finally arrived back at Ember's house in Conway Springs, KS. He had called the previous evening from a payphone, but he had only said that he had "survived" and that he was "on his way". He had also told her, "our friend is in trouble. I'll pick you up, and then we must go there." Ember had asked if he was sure he didn't want to stay the night in Wyoming before heading to Kansas, but he had simply answered, "That won't be necessary."

Ember understood the necessity for a coded message, however it didn't make her worry less. She was overjoyed to learn that Castiel was still alive, but she felt that she had gotten out of the frying pan only to be thrown into the fire. She had gone to bed and gotten a few hours of sleep, but was up early – she had already been up for an hour when she heard a knock at the door.

Ember was immediately suspicious. Castiel never knocked – he just came right in, by now. She understood immediately, however, when she looked through the peep hole to the porch. She had never been able to fully see an angel's true visage, though Castiel had described it in as much detail as he could. She could, however, see the white sheen that seemed to shine from angels, and she recognized it immediately. "Cas!" she screamed, running toward him. "You're – how?"

But he didn't register the words. His eyes widened, and his nostrils flared, and he swept her off her feet, kissing her hungrily. She responded in kind, wrapping her legs around him – he had come back alive, as an angel! She realized he burned hotter than before, but tasted just as good. He was just about to take her inside when he suddenly froze and disentangled himself from her, cursing in Enochian.

It took her a moment to work out what had happened – he hadn't been able to pass through the warding.

"You're an angel again," she said wonderously. "How…"

"I'll tell you on the way," he said, attempting to collect himself. "Are you ready to head to the bunker? We can deal with the angel-proofing later."

Ember nodded, still shocked. "I'm driving," she said.

"Fine," Castiel said. "Never did get the hang of it, anyway."

Twenty minutes later, Castiel had explained everything to Ember about how he had stolen another angels' grace. "I feel terrible," he finished. "But I did what I had to do. I wanted to come back to you."

Ember looked at him shrewdly for as long as she could before she had to look back at the road. "So… nothing between us has… changed?" she asked carefully. He was an angel now, again. Would that mean he wanted something different? Ember knew that angels occasionally had romantic relationships with humans, but Castiel had always kept his distance before until he was a human.

"Yes, much has changed," Castiel said, and Ember tried to mask her shock and upset. "I will of course quit my job in Idaho, though perhaps I should keep my apartment for now. There is other work I can do, now, which will be more helpful. We will have to be even more discreet, of course. The angels are looking for me more now than ever."

Oh. Castiel continued listing off his plans of what he wanted to do to help the angels, but Ember wasn't listening. "So… nothing has changed between us?" she asked, accidentally cutting him off.

He seemed startled, and looked at her with alarm, his blue eyes shining into her brown ones. "I meant what I said, Ember. I love you. Maybe I will outlive you a long time, now – maybe not. But I would be honored to spend the life you have with you."

Ember smiled at him and reached over to squeeze his hand. "I love you too, Cas. And I would like that."