Chapter nineteen - Mea culpa
Kathleen all but ran down to the teacher's corridor, her hair was unpinned, hanging loose and still slightly damp from the shower, and she was sure that her uniform was untidy since she had thrown it on, only using the mirror to rush through her everyday make-up routine. She had skipped using any blush and eyeliner at all, because she had ten minutes until break began and she had an urgent telephone call to make. She would be in major trouble if she was caught in the teacher's wing, but if she wanted the privacy that she couldn't on the student telephones, it was a risk that she was willing to take.
Two minutes later, she skidded to a halt by the teacher's telephone line and dialled the Noel household's number. Please pick-up, please pick-up, please pick-up she prayed, repeating the mantra until she heard a familiar voice at the end of the line.
"Hello?"
"Nancy!"
"Kitty Kat? Are you okay?"
"Fine" she breathed, "how is your tutoring?
"My tutor doesn't arrive until two."
"Oh, that's good. How are things with Chris? I promised Knox that I would ask for her opinion of him."
"I spoke to her about him after you left, actually. She was making excuses for Chet's behaviour and I joked that she should date Knox instead. She shook her head and gave me the weirdest look, I don't think she had thought about dating anyone else. So, I guess that's progress" her voice crackled down the phoneline, "you never call in school hours, spit it out, Murray."
"I fucked up."
"Really?" Kathleen could hear Nancy's nail tapping impatiently on the receiver as she spoke.
"Yeah" she breathed, "remember that dinner with Fraser and his Father that I told you about?"
"I do."
"And remember the argument I had with Charlie a while ago, the one about telling each other things, not letting the issue get out of hand or finding out from someone else first."
"You haven't told him yet and someone else beat you to it" she stated bluntly, trying to keep her tone devoid of judgement, "tell me it wasn't Fraser who told him. Please."
"It wasn't. Fraser talked to me about it in front of Knox and Meeks, afterwards Knox went straight to Charlie and Pitts" she explained, "Neil and Todd already knew, as I told you before. Cameron is still clueless but fiddlesticks! He blanked me, told me that we 'need to talk' and stormed off. I should have told him earlier but I couldn't and now I've done the same thing that I was angry with him for doing, but this time it's worse because he's the last to know and he means just as much to me as Todd and you do..and..I..."she trailed off, "I don't know how to make this better" she finished weakly.
Nancy whistled down the line, "that is one a hell of mess."
"Not helpful" she cringed as her mind replayed Neil's reaction and Charlie's refusal to look at her.
"Well, start with calming down" she advised, "then sort your head out. Don't do anything else until you're less gushy."
Kat hummed in agreement.
"And then, I want you to read some Pride and Prejudice, put on some lipstick and channel Elizabeth Bennett while you make things right. Lord knows, Charlie will be easier to deal with than Darcy."
"This is not a misunderstanding of love, Nance."
"Oh, honey" Nancy laughed, "never mind me, just pick up that book and calm down. Good luck."
Click.
Kat put the receiver back on the hook and walked quickly back to her dorm. Following her best friend's advice, she straightened her uniform and finished applying her make-up. Looking at the clock on her nightstand, she saw that she still had a few minutes before Latin so she went to her bookshelf and cracked open the Jane Austen novel.
"However, he wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were."
"And so, ended his affection," said Elizabeth impatiently. "There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!"
"I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love," said Darcy.
"Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away."
After what felt like mere seconds, Kathleen was interrupted by the bell. She picked up her Latin books and hurried down the staircase, pushing her way through the throng. She arrived a minute late and saw the class already seated and silent when she opened the door.
"Mea culpa, Dominus McAllister" she apologised in Latin, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks when the students turned to stare at her.
"Take your seat, Miss Murray" smiled Mr McAllister "I'll let you off this time for that superb pronunciation. Don't let it happen again."
She slid silently into her seat and held in a groan when she realised that she had not only brought her Latin books down, but also Pride and Prejudice which she must have forgotten to put back in her haste.
The next hour crawled by in a slow rhythm of Latin verbs and Kathleen's enthusiasm for the language was as dead as the romans themselves, by the time she emerged out of the dusty classroom and into the hall which was bathed in the afternoon sun, glowing amber as it shone through the high windows. She had only taken a few steps towards the dining hall when she was pulled out of her thoughts by a voice.
"Pride and Prejudice? I didn't know that was on the curriculum" teased Charlie, who was leaning lazily against the wall, "don't let anyone see you with that. You'll be ridiculed for eternity."
Pushing down her surprise she responded, "I doubt any of you boys would let them, as a group your're referred to as my 'guard dogs' or haven't you heard? You have a reputation to live up to."
"Really?" he chuckled, "who came up with that?"
"Nobody important" she shrugged, determined to keep up their familiar rapport.
"Oh, well" he pushed off from the wall and moved towards her, "seeing you with a book is nothing unusual. But seeing your hair like that, however, is. I've never seen it like this before" he reached out and playfully tugged on several strands of her hair, raising an eyebrow at the slight dampness.
"I didn't dry it properly, I got distracted" she explained. "So, that talk? I need to switch books so you could come with me before lunch? Or we can do this later."
"Now is probably best" he let her hair fall through his fingers and shoved his hands into his pockets. The pair walked up to Kathleen's dorm in a strange silence, half comfortable and half awkward, like the feeling you get when visiting family who you haven't seen for a couple of years. Once they got to her room, she put the novel back and then swapped her Latin work for her math books. It was only upon seeing Charlie standing awkwardly in the middle of the room that she realised that this was only the second time he had been in her dorm.
"So" she began, gesturing towards the chair, tucked beneath her desk "where do you want to start?"
Charlie sat in the wooden chair, facing Kathleen who was sitting opposite him, cross legged on her bed. "I don't know, nobody other than Knox will tell me anything. Todd said to start with why Nolan let you come here. Which makes zero sense to me, obviously..."he trailed off when he caught sight of her expression, "but the look on your face tells me it's important."
"Can you promise not to say anything until I'm finished talking" she asked, biting her lip "after that you can ask whatever you want."
"I promise" he frowned.
"For a couple of weeks, my Sunday evenings with Nolan have been..."she tried to search for the right word "difficult. He basically told me that I'm here to find a suitable husband, so that I don't embarrass him like my mother did" she breathed, looking away from Charlie's shocked countenance. "he also interrogated me about my relationship with Todd and for the last week or so he has been fixated, on what he called my 'endeavours' with Knox. Fraser told me that Nolan has invited his Father - who is on the school board - to dinner, and that we are being forced to go. He's nervous about me saying something bad about him to his Father. And the whole dress thing was me getting in myself into a tizzy about it, I had this vision of myself having to dress up like that and act through countless dinners, parties and social engagements while he spreads the word that I'm on the marriage market like some sort of prize cow...Neil and Todd snapped me out of it, and Nancy thinks he will give up soon but I don't know" she shrugged, picking at her already chipped nail polish. "Any questions?"
"That-that is a lot more than I was expecting" he said finally, "that sucks."
"Tell me about it" she muttered faintly, meeting his eyes.
"Could you maybe keep me in the loop, you know? Talk to me when things happen, or are happening."
"I wanted to, I was just struggling to process it" she admitted, "now that I'm over the initial shock I have a clearer perspective again.
"I think I might need some time to process."
"Take as long as you need" she smiled weakly, "God knows how long it's taken me."
"Just talk to me next time, please."
"I promise to talk to you first" she said, standing up and picking up her books, "and I'm sorry for doing exactly what I got angry with you for doing."
"It's okay. We both need to practice this talking thing, I guess" he laughed, opening the door "we should go to lunch. And by the way, nice bookcase. I didn't know you were so into Austen. I thought you were more of a Dickens girl."
"I can be both" she side-stepped him to prevent him from taking her books, "I'm capable of carrying my own books, Charlie."
"It doesn't mean that you should."
"Think of it as my act of repentance" she rolled her eyes.
"Repentance for what?" he asked, "you're already forgiven."
She muttered something under her breath that he didn't catch and turned to close the door. He watched her chestnut tresses swing at the motion, fascinated with the messy curtain of hair that was usually tied or pinned up out of her face. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and resolved to speak to Neil because she was right, it was a lot to process; for more reasons than she knew.
Today I'm updating some of the early chapters with spelling corrections so just ignore any notifications for them, there will be no changes other than them being nicer to read :) I hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know any theories, thoughts or questions you have!