Author's Note: So I don't typically write hurt/comfort, because I typically find it tedious, but I kind of had to in this situation and I hope I got it right. Also I love the idea of mind-melding. I did a lot of it in my Doctor Who fanfic – there's a link on my page. It's not as prevalent in this fanfic, but I still think it's really cool. I love Ember and Castiel's relationship, because it's so complicated, and there's so much to play with. Let me know what you think in reviews!

I don't own Supernatural.

***Sam POV***

August 12, Afternoon

Early that afternoon, Sam returned with blood blessed by a priest. This time, Ember greeted him at the door. Sam sighed with relief, noting that she looked a lot better. She was still wearing lounge pants and a tank top, but her hair was clean, and her foot was in new bandages. Her face was dry, and for once her eyes weren't red and puffy.

"Sorry about this morning," she told him. He could tell she was trying to sound more chipper than she actually felt.

"Why are you sorry?" Sam asked. "I can't even imagine what you've been through this past month."

Ember looked as though she might cry again, but she bit her lip and steeled herself. "I'm lucky," she said. "That's what I… I wanted to thank you. For saving me. And Dean, too. The Blood Bond… I had no idea…."

"I'm glad you're okay," Sam told her.

"I'm not," she admitted. "But… I will be. Krissy told me… you've kept up on everything. The three of you. The bills, and everything, and… and thank God the adoptions were finalized last March… And it's just my job, that I can't…" she bit her lip again to keep from sobbing. "Anyway, I'm sorry, Sam."

"Don't be sorry," Sam told her simply. "Just feel better."

Ember looked surprised for a moment, then nodded. She seemed to be steeling herself to ask something. Finally she said, "Sam, if you need any help with the curing tomorrow, I'll-…"

"No," Sam said. "No, it's my brother. You've… I'm just glad you're better, Ember. Now it's just him."

"No, really, I'll-…"

"Ember," Sam said sharply. "I'm doing this on my own."

Ember's face shown with relief. "Thank you, Sam," she whispered.

***Castiel POV***

August 12, Afternoon

Hannah had feelings for him. He knew that, now. Perhaps he had spent too much time convincing her that it was okay to be human. He only had feelings for Ember, and that had only ever gotten him in trouble, but soon it wouldn't matter anyway.

Adina, the rogue angel, had held a knife to Hannah's throat. But he was too weak, too weak to help her, and he had been thrown through a window. He could feel the matted blood on his face, even though angels weren't supposed to bleed. They weren't supposed to sleep, either, and he had done that, too. And all he wanted was to help Sam, and to see Ember one last time…

And then Crowley was standing over him. Crowley had a bottle full of grace. Castiel pushed it away. Did he kill Hannah, or Adina? But he was so weak…

"Don't be an idiot," said Crowley. "Yes, it's hers, but she was killing your girlfriend. Your hands are clean. As much as it pains me to say this … You're useless to me dead."

Girlfriend… Ember? Crowley had put the grace in Castiel's mouth, and against his will, he felt himself healing. He stood up, his awareness back and his senses on edge with the presence of first Adina, then Crowley.

"You owe me," Crowley said.

"Why did you help me?" Castiel demanded, annoyed.

"Purely business," said the demon. "Since you're five miles away from the Winchester's Clubhouse, I can only surmise that you're headed there. And that Dean has become a handful. Having him as a demon has caused me nothing but grief. Fix the problem."

***Sam POV***

August 12, Late Afternoon

Sam sat looking at the pictures Dean kept in his room. He knew, intellectually, that his brother was saying horrible things to him because he was a demon, a demon who didn't want to be cured. Still, it didn't make the things Dean had said any easier to hear. "You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just … tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire… My mother would still be alive if it wasn't for you. Your very existence sucked the life out of my life!

"It's not going very well, is it?" said Ember from the doorway, making Sam jump. She was holding a cup of hot chocolate. She was dressed the same as earlier, but she was also back in Dean's bathrobe again.

"No," Sam said. "No, it's… not. I think I'm killing him."

Ember flinched. "Maybe you are. I thought about that," she admitted softly. She was silent for another minute. "That's why I was really glad you're doing it. I just… right now… I can't see him like that. Not anymore." She ducked her head, and Sam guessed that she was crying again. "I came here to his room, and I…"

"I know this isn't the right time to tell you this," Sam said, a thought occurring to him suddenly. "But Cas is on his way."

Ember hardly reacted. "Good," she whispered. "Good."

Sam opened his mouth to tell her that Castiel was dying – that it was bad, and that he wasn't much better off than Dean. Somehow, though, he found that he couldn't bear to see her cry any harder than she already was.

***Ember POV***

August 12, Evening

Ember couldn't remember ever being more miserable than she was after spending six weeks as a demon. The guilt, and the depression, were overwhelming. She thought several times about dying, during that first day, but dismissed the thought, mostly because of her children. They gave her life, that first day. They gave her motivation, and finally she mustered the energy to shower and force food down her throat. Her mother's arrival was helpful, too. By the end of the day, Ember had etched out a semi-functional plan for moving forward.

The final adoption, Krissy's, had been finalized the previous March, which had thankfully decreased the amount of attention she was receiving from the state. This was crucial, as it had meant that Sam, Castiel, and the children were able to keep Ember's absence in their life a secret for six weeks in hopes that she would come back. She was also fortunate that all of her children understood the life of a hunter. Rather than blaming her and resenting her for her absence, they were simply glad to have her back. Despite this, Ember knew there was still major damage done to her relationship with her children, and she knew she would spend the next several months working to smooth things over again.

Sam and Castiel had done a great job of taking over with the children during Ember's six-week hiatus, but the truth was that it couldn't continue. Thankfully, the children hadn't been able to get up to much trouble, aside from living on Funyons and getting their days and nights mixed up. Ember didn't want to imagine what she would've come home to if she had "broke bad" during the school year, however.

After some deliberation, Ember and the rest of her children had decided to take a week to get things figured out, then head back to their old house in Converse City now that it was safe again. Krissy explained that Castiel was living in the house currently, which Ember thought odd. Why wasn't he living in the bunker, with Sam and Dean? Krissy had interrupted then, stating that it was something Castiel needed to tell Ember himself.

Ember had other things to worry about, however. Getting a job was going to be a problem. Ember needed money, fast. She was proud of the fact that she hadn't used her invisibility to steal since the apocalypse, but she supposed this paled in comparison to the things she had done while she had been a demon. Either way, she would have to pull a hit on an ATM sometime in the next week if she wanted to pay for the basics she had been abandoning, such as her phone, car insurance, and property taxes, much less back-to-school expenses for the children. Aidan, for example, had grown nearly four inches and two shoe sizes over the summer, and had simply cut the toes out of his shoes in protest.

There was a lot to think about, and a lot of planning to do. Ember hadn't even begun to sift through her memories of her time as a demon, because every time she did, she simply burst into tears again. Ember was curled up on Dean's bed trying (but failing) to take a nap when she heard clattering. Without warning, Sam came into her room. "Dean got free," he said. "Run."

Suddenly, though, she found herself in another room. How did I get here? But she didn't have time to wonder. Dean looked up at her in shock. He had just taken a hammer from the drawer. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Dean gave her a smile that Ember recognized immediately. Still demon. "Sam!" she screamed. With both hands, she channeled her force powers, and Dean was pinned immediately to the wall, a look of shock etched on his face.

Sam came rushing into the room, followed closely by Castiel. Castiel stood looking at Ember, shocked, his face unreadable. Sam, however, wasted no time in drawing a pair of handcuffs (normal handcuffs this time) from his pocket and forcing them around Dean's arms.

After that, the three of them rushed Dean back to the dungeon to administer the final dose of blood. Immediately after the serum entered his body, however, Dean's head lolled onto his shoulders – he had passed out.

"What the hell are we doing to him, Cas?" Sam asked. "I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human."

"Well… I see his point," Castiel said. "You know, only humans can feel real joy, but … also such profound pain. This is easier."

Ember looked at Castiel then, who was staring at her, blue eyes boring into brown. Only humans can feel real joy… Ember knew Castiel's feelings were not as profound when he was an angel, but she also knew that these words weren't true. He had told her so himself, so long ago…

Her time with Castiel seemed like a lifetime ago. And yet, with him here in front of her, all she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and never wake up.

Ember's thoughts were interrupted by a soft groan from Dean. As the three watched, the black in Dean's eyes appeared to dissipate. Castiel took his angel blade in hand, watching Dean wearily. Sam unscrewed the flask in his hand, ready to douse Dean in holy water. Dean looked around, uncertain, and groaned. "You look worried, fellas."

Sam threw the holy water on Dean, who didn't react except to give Sam an annoyed look. Sam smiled. "Welcome back, Dean."

Ember could see it in Dean's eyes, when it hit: the guilt. The remorse, over everything that had happened, and with it, the weight of the world. The look he gave her then was more desperate than she could have imagined, but it mirrored what she was feeling inside. I'm so, so sorry. What have I done?

Ember dropped her gaze, and left again, before she burst into tears.

***Castiel POV***

August 12, Late Night

Castiel left Sam to deal with Dean, and set out to talk to Ember. It took awhile to find her, but finally he did, curled up in her car in the giant garage. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms, where he held her. She did not protest, but simply let out a hiccup. She smelled exactly like he remembered, and for a second, he almost doubted his decision; almost.

It was several minutes before either of them spoke. Finally, Ember said, "I heard you were living at the house."

"I was dying," Castiel said. "I was very close to death. I should've been dead by now. There was a… an incident, though. Crowley managed to feed me another stolen grace."

Castiel fully expected Ember to say something like, "Well, next time I see Crowley, I'll only chop off one of his limbs." Instead, she simply let out a dry sob when she heard his name.

"So that's what Krissy didn't tell me," she said finally. "How… how long do you have?" She finally met his eyes, and Castiel could see a change in them. Ember had aged much in the last day alone, he thought. He pulled her closer in a hug. "Maybe a year, at best, I suppose," he said.

Ember nodded, lowering her head again so that she didn't have to meet his eyes. He stroked her hair. "I wish I could take the pain away," he said.

Ember looked up at him again, hopefully. "Is it – do you know if…" she trailed off. "I'm not saying I want to… I'd have to think about it. But… could you remove my memories?" He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off hurriedly. "I mean, last time, when Dean and I broke up, I didn't want them removed, and you were trying to do it in a hurry, for him, but maybe if-…"

Castiel shook his head. "I don't think so," he said. "Your brain isn't like a human's. It's more… resistant." She nodded, looking downward.

"I could look… I could see if I could help, though," he added, hopefully. He held two fingers up to her head in a question.

She looked at him, her gaze watery, and nodded.

Castiel had searched through Ember's mind on a few occasions, and sent her pictures and images from his mind as well. They hadn't done this since they had broken up, however. He was surprised to find Ember's mind drastically different from the last time.

He had known that she would be shaken up from her experience as a demon, but he was surprised at the disorganization of her thoughts, the depth of her depression, and the damage to her soul. It was as though someone had taken a lovely garden, pulled up all of the flowers and pretty shrubbery, and tossed it everywhere. The few times he had been inside her mind before, he had taught her how to show him only what she wanted him to see. Now, however, the entirety of her mind, and the damage to it, was laid bare to him.

He saw how she saw him: an angel, far above her, now that she had gone demon. He would always be out of reach, and she didn't deserve him, and he would never love her again, she thought. But she loved him fiercely, with every part of her being, more than he could have imagined. His heart gave a guilty squeeze, but there was nothing that could be done about it – his decision was final.

He witnessed a few of the worst things she had done as a demon. There were a lot of men, he noticed, and some torture, and -… realizing where Castiel was searching, Ember hastily constructed a shoddily-built mental wall, and Castiel drew back. He tried not to think about what he had seen, because it made his stomach boil with jealousy and hatred.

Castiel turned a corner in Ember's mind, and there he witnessed the other feeling (aside from guilt) which dominated most of her feelings right now – confusion. Confusion about their break-up, confusion about her love for him, and, most of all, confusion about her demon powers, and about where to go next.

Finally, he removed his fingers from her head, and she collapsed into him again, hiccupping with sobs. "I'm the one who should be sorry," he said honestly. "I never properly explained… look at me."

Slowly, Ember wiped the tears from her eyes, and pulled back from him, looking at him. "We didn't break up because you don't deserve me. I've caused far more death than you, far more destruction. I've…" But he was at a loss for words. How could she possibly think she didn't deserve him, even now? As he thought this, unbidden to his mind came his words from so many years ago: "Now I understand these feelings I've always had for you. For a moment I was scared I was actually attracted to a demon!"

He would have to show her, then. Carefully, he put two fingers to her head. He showed her his love for her, beyond anything he thought he could ever feel, even as an angel. Then he showed her his sense of duty. He showed her his murder of the angels in Heaven, how desperate he was that another angel not die so that he could have their grace, and how desperate he was to be worthy of her.

"It was never meant to be," he told her softly after removing her hand. "I'm an angel. You can't keep me alive. The months we had together were the best months of my existence. But it couldn't continue." Castiel saw weary acceptance creep slowly into Ember's face, and she nodded, once.

"As far as your memories," Castiel told her, "I can't do anything about those. Your mind is too resistant. No angel is that powerful, even the archangels. To delete or manipulate your memories would destroy you."

Ember nodded, resolutely. "I can, however, answer some of your questions."

Ember looked up hopefully. A single tear slid down her cheek, but other than that she had stopped crying.

"I understand about the Demon Blood Bond," Castiel said. "From what Crowley told Sam, you should be free of it, no matter what happens with the Mark of Cain. You're your own person, now." He saw the slightest bit of relief cross Ember's face.

"Now I'm going to ask you questions you don't want to answer, but I need to know, in order to answer the questions you do want answered," said Castiel.

Ember looked at him, showing him she understood exactly what he meant. She had steeled herself. "What were the worst things you did, while you were a demon?" Castiel asked.

Ember's face contorted, and Castiel almost wished he hadn't asked. He had to ask, though, so that he could get the information to give her the answers she needed. It was several seconds before she spoke. Finally, she said softly, "I think I might have killed… at least once. I… I'm not sure. He might've bled out. I caught him at a playground, going for some kids, and… I just left him there." She let out a sob. "And… a lot of… sex. And… speeding. There was a family… in a car, and I tried to heal - but I think the mother might've been pregnant…" Castiel had seen this last bit in her mind, before she had put up a wall. He knew it was this that weighed on her most heavily.

Castiel nodded. He was appalled, but at the same time, it could have been much worse. Mostly, his stomach twisted with horrible jealousy. "Your place in Heaven is secure," he said, ignoring the hollow feeling in his stomach. "You haven't done anything to jeopardize that."

"It shouldn't be," she said derisively.

"But it is," Castiel insisted. "Ember, how many demons did you exorcise from civilians during the year of the apocalypse alone?" Ember looked at him, surprised. "The life you, and Dean, and Sam, and even I live comes with risks. You take the risks, and you hope at the end of the day that the good outweighs the bad."

Ember looked at him curiously. "You said that once," he offered, and was relieved to see her smile, if only slightly. "You had a bad day," he said, stroking her hair. "Get busy making tomorrow better."

Ember nodded, leaning into him again. "About your powers," Castiel added, and Ember once more lifted off of him to look at him curiously. "The farther you go toward the dark side, the more powers you'll retain," he said.

Ember looked at him with fear. "Does that mean I-…"

"No," Castiel said. "You haven't gone 'dark side.' Just… farther in that direction. You'll retain some of the powers you had while you were a demon, but it's just like before – you can use them without risking going 'dark side', as long as you don't use them for ill."

She swallowed, appearing to accept this. "Cas, I… I think I can teleport now."

"Sam said something about that," Castiel nodded.

Ember looked reflective. "It will make things easier," she added.

"See?" he said. "Not all bad."

Ember looked at him, finally quirking a small smile. He pulled her closer again, and they sat that way, in her car, for a very long time.

***Ember POV***

August 13, Evening

Ember had fallen asleep in Castiel's arms, and when she'd awoken, he had been gone. She had expected this, however. Their breakup still left a gaping hole in her heart, but it paled in comparison to the pain she felt now after her time as a demon. Ultimately, Ember decided, their conversation in the car would have to serve as closure to whatever they had had over the past year.

Castiel had also answered a lot of the questions that had seemed to weigh her down in the few days since she had returned to normal. She was glad to know that her place in Heaven was secured, as much as she still felt she didn't deserve it. She was that much more motivated, now, to earn her way back into her own good graces, much less everyone else's.

The fact that she could now teleport, and move and control humans with her force powers again, was also a definite plus. Her teleportation abilities weren't infinite, she learned quickly. She couldn't teleport over distances longer than about two hours, for one. This meant that when teleporting from the bunker to her home in Conway Springs, for example, she had to teleport someplace around the halfway mark, then wait about a half hour on her powers to recharge.

She also needed some sort of tether to know where to teleport to and from. If she wanted to teleport to a place she had never been before, Dean and Sam needed to have something belonging to her on their person, as well as in various places along the way if they had driven farther than two hours away from Ember. Still, her new powers of teleportation cut down travel time exponentially.

More importantly, this new power meant that she didn't have to live in fear to the extent that she did before, both for herself and for her children. It would make it easier to get back on her feet, as well. She would trade it all back in an instant for the mother with the baby in the car, or even for the child molester. Still, she supposed, if this was the way things were going to be, at least things were going to be more convenient.

There was one last major loose end to figure out, however.

At the end of another long day of phone calls, planning, and sorting out bills and schools and jobs, Ember finally approached Dean's room. It was the first time she had been in there since she had gone in to take a nap when she thought he might die from the conversion.

She was prepared for several different reactions from Dean. What she was not prepared to find was him crying. He was sitting on his bed, his headphones on, tears streaming down his cheeks. To be fair, she had interrupted him in a private moment. She hadn't bothered to knock, and had simply used her new-found skill of teleporting.

Dean's startle response kicked in at that moment and he opened his eyes in a panic, sensing someone in the room. When he saw that it was Ember, however, the fight left him, and he simply went limp, looking at her like a deer in headlights.

***Dean POV***

August 13, Evening

Dean had thought that Ember would be long gone by now. He had almost hoped she would. He hoped he would never see her again. He hoped she got back together with Castiel, and the two of them had little nephilim babies.

That was what he deserved. He had broken her. The one good, shining thing that he had somehow still managed to keep in his life, even after two break-ups, and he'd broken her. Why she was looking down at him with a soft smile, he would never understand. She sat down on his bed and pulled him to her. He fought against her touch, because he didn't feel like he deserved it, as though it might break both of them, after everything. Just as she let him go, however, he suddenly felt that he desperately needed her beside him, and hurriedly scooted closer again.

He waited on her to speak, but she didn't, and so he finally felt compelled to. "Ember, I-…"

"It's okay, Dean."

"No!" He said insistently. "No, it's not. It's not." He got up off the bed, then, shunning her touch once more. "All I do is hurt you. After all this, I hurt you again. That's why I tried to have Castiel remove your memories, which I never should've done, and I'm sorry, and I've never said it, not properly. And-…"

"Dean-…"

"And then Bobby," Dean continued, "And then Gadreel, and I couldn't lose Sammy, and you're right, about everything, you're always right about everything, and I make fun, and I joke, and I lose control, and I'm impulsive, and I never tell you what's really going on with me. And I think I do that because I'm afraid that if you realize how ridiculously fucked up I am that you'll leave and never come back."

"Dean, I-…"

"And I should've listened to you, and Sammy, and everyone about the stupid First Blade, and I don't ever want to see that damn thing again. But I've still got the Mark, and everything, everything pales in comparison to the fact that I don't know when I'm gonna go - go – go demon again, and lose everything, and lose… myself."

At the last few words, Ember's previously soft smile turned into a hard look. She was not angry, he could tell, but merely… calculating. Finally, she sighed, and reached out for his hand to pull him back onto the bed. "Welcome to my life," she said.

In that moment, he knew, more than ever before, that he loved her.