After settling the children into bed the night before, she and Georg spent hours talking about their marriage. She told him every detail about her kiss with the Baron, and even though she could see his jaw tensing with anger, he was patient and understanding with her. Likewise, he told her every detail of his thought process and how he got to the point of violence with her. While she still couldn't believe he thought so little of her at the time, she gave him the same patience and understanding he gave to her. They at least came away from the conversation feeling that the foundation of their relationship had been restored.

He held her all night, and she couldn't get enough of the feeling of awaking in his arms. With all of his distractions more recently, it had been quite a while since he held her like that. She was confident that it would be happening a lot more after their conversation, and she was ready for them to really begin their marriage. At the very least, she felt hopeful for the first time in quite a while.

"What's keeping her, I wonder?" Georg asked as he met her eyes at the breakfast table, and she shrugged.

"I didn't even hear her come in last night. It must have been late." She sighed, not opposed to beginning breakfast without Hede. Her sister-in-law was many things, but timely wasn't always one of them.

"I'll go check on her." Liesl stood from her seat, but Maria thought back to the purposeful look on Hede's face when she met Mia, and she wondered if there was a reason for her to run late to breakfast. It was clear that Hede was looking for a conquest at the party. She certainly didn't want Liesl to walk in on anything.

"Actually, dear, I'll go check on her. You all should go ahead and eat." Liesl smiled, and Maria patted her shoulder as she walked past. She was a bit nervous about what she would find, if she were honest. She knew when Hede and her husband travelled alone, they had distinct plans to exercise the agreement of their open marriage, but surely she wouldn't be doing so under her brother's roof. She sighed as she knocked on the bedroom door. "Hede?"

"I'm dressing!"

"We're going to eat without you." She waited for a response, but all she heard was a soft, lust-filled moan from within the bedroom. She gasped, knocking again. "Hede, you had better not have a girl in there." Within moments the door swung open to reveal Hede, stark naked with frustration in her eyes. Maria felt she could have been knocked over with a feather from the surprise.

"Maria, unless you would like to join us, kindly piss off." She gave her a quick, annoyed smile before slamming the door in her face. Maria scoffed, quickly turning and rushing back downstairs.

While she understood that she was not Hede's keeper, and she accepted her way of life being none of her business, the fact that she was using her home as a hotel did not please her in the slightest. The thought of her children witnessing casual sexual encounters made her blood boil…she did her best to ignore the fact that she and their father started out as such. As she returned to the breakfast table, she sat down in a huff and began eating, ignoring the looks of curiosity from Georg and the children.

"Darling?"

"We're eating without her." He nodded and they continued eating without question. The room fell silent, all unsure of the attitude Maria brought with her to the table. In reality, she was hurt, not used to Hede speaking to her in such a manner. They had always gotten along beautifully, though she supposed she had never actually witnessed her bringing someone home in that way. Perhaps it caught her off guard.

"Mother, do you know how to bake a cake?" Marta's sweet voice broke the silence, and Maria smiled.

"I'm afraid the kitchen is a place I am not very successful. But we can certainly try!"

"I'd like you to bake a cake with me for my birthday, please." She smiled wider at the request, always willing to do what she could to fulfill a request from the children. Though, she had to admit, the cake would be a far stretch from anything she'd tried so far. Making dresses for them or taking them for ice cream was easy, she wasn't so sure about the more domestic activities.

Hede came waltzing into the dining room, looking a bit flushed, but put together. She greeted the children, Georg smiling to her in greeting as well, but Maria didn't meet her eyes. She was frustrated by her for the moment, and she wasn't prepared to pretend she wasn't. Hede sighed as she sat down next to her, leaning around a bit to try catching Maria's eye, but she still refused to look at her.

"Maria, what are you doing?"

"Pissing off, per your request." She took a drink of her orange juice, but caught herself quickly, looking around to the stunned eyes at the table. "I apologize, children, that was very inappropriate of me."

"Quite." She met Georg's eyes when he spoke, apologizing with her own. She was having a terrible time not saying the first thing that came to mind lately, more so than usual, and she knew it was something she needed to work on. Hede only laughed, taking a drink of her own orange juice as well.

"You take things way too personally, Maria. Do lighten up, won't you?" Maria scoffed, leaning back in her chair.

"That tone makes you sound like your mother." Eyebrows raised, Hede looked to her in question.

"Your attitude makes you sound like my mother."

"At least your mother is on time to breakfast."

"Are you trying make me lose my temper? I assure you, it's similar to Georg's, only I will hit you."

"Alright, enough of this." Georg's booming voice stopped their bickering, and Maria felt foolish. She wasn't sure why she was in such a mood, more particularly why she was taking it out on Hede, who was technically a guest in their home. Georg watched the frustration flash across her features, unsure of what he was supposed to do to help. He knew his wife and his sister could match wits very well, and he was not willing to witness the outcome if they did begin to argue.

The adults finished eating in silence as Kurt saved the rest of them discomfort by beginning a conversation. He was always good at sensing a need for a joke or laughter, and he received a smile of encouragement from his father for setting the mood in the right direction. Hede took Maria's hand beneath the table as they were about to stand, and they met eyes as she silently asked her to stay behind to talk. Maria nodded, reaching forward to take another drink of her juice while the rest of the family went about their weekend routine of scattering about the house with various goals in mind. Georg left with the boys, raising his eyebrows in warning to his wife and sister. Maria sighed in defeat.

"I'm sorry, I'm a complete bitch lately." Hede laughed, seeming to have already forgiven her without the apology.

"We all are sometimes, you're allowed to be."

"Our friendship means so much to me, I should never take things out on you."

"But you were upset with me. Was it because I bedded your friend?" Maria looked to her in shock, eyebrows raised.

"That was Mia? No, you're joking!" Hede smiled, shaking her head in response.

"Her husband dropped us off, and she had every intention of coming in just to check on you…"

"Shame on you! Hede, she's married and they're trying to have a baby."

"She's the one who kissed me, I simply proceeded to unbutton her dress." Maria rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop herself from laughing at her feigned innocence.

"Well, I suppose I don't know her as well as I thought I did, in many ways."

"She speaks very highly of you. Apparently you taught her all she needed to know about losing her virginity?"

"Not in the way you're thinking, I assure you." She laughed as they eased into a lighter conversational mood. Maria could feel the tension easing from her body as they chatted. "I used to think she was quite innocent, you know."

"Believe me, she is not."

"Please spare me the details of whatever happened last night." She laughed, brushing a bit of hair behind her ear.

"It was so good though."

"I'm sure." Her sarcasm was not missed, and Hede smirked.

"You have no idea what it feels like to pleasure a woman, to part her with your tongue and make her squirm." She cringed, the mental image provoked making her blush.

"Oh, honestly." Hede smiled brightly, always loving the fact that she could make her uncomfortable.

"What disgusts you about it?"

"Everything."

"What a prig. Don't you like it when your husband goes down on you?"

"Is that what it's called? I'm told I'm not supposed to talk about that." She had always been told it was a taboo subject in their social circle, and per her husband's request, she was never supposed to admit it was something he did.

"But you like it?" Maria narrowed her eyes, annoyed by the topic of conversation.

"Well who wouldn't?"

"Doesn't he kiss you after he puts his mouth on? Do you like the taste of yourself?" She could feel her face turn hot, bright red from embarrassment, and she rolled her eyes, scoffing.

"Why do you say things like that?"

"Because I love to make you blush." Hede took another bite from her plate, deciding she could eat a bit more as they chatted.

"That seems to be a fun game for everyone. I'd love it to stop." She didn't mean for her agitated tone to return, but she truly was annoyed when she was used for that kind of fun. Hede sighed, looking into her eyes.

"Maria, what's wrong with you? What happened at the party that has you wound so tightly?"

"Nothing. I'm just frustrated with things, I don't know." She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as she sat back. Hede gave her an incredulous look, and Maria looked to her lap, brow furrowed. "I did something terrible last night."

"You? Oh, Maria, I'm sure your version of terrible is far different from anyone else's." She laughed, and Maria shook her head.

"I kissed someone." Hede's eyes widened, and she slowly sat down her fork, thinking for a moment. She obviously expected a much smaller transgression from her sister-in-law.

"I see…" She couldn't look up from her lap, couldn't meet her eyes. "Does Georg know?"

"Yes, we stayed up talking for a long while last night. He says he forgives me, but…I feel unforgivable."

"It was just a kiss, after all. It didn't mean anything, did it?"

"No, it didn't. But why did I do it in the first place? I love Georg with my whole heart."

"You've both been under quite a bit of strain. Not to mention you were very drunk."

"Not so much that I didn't know what I was doing. My actions were intentional." She didn't want to cry, but her eyes burned. Admitting such a thing was very difficult for her. "How do you feel when you cheat on your husband?"

"I don't. And you didn't either."

"But you do. Doesn't it make you feel terrible?" Hede shrugged, ready to make another joke and move on, but Maria gazed deeper into her eyes. "The truth."

"The truth, Maria, is that I do not cheat on my husband. We have an agreement to occasionally explore outside our marriage, and that's all it is. We are completely open and honest about it. I do love him very much." Maria bit her lip in hesitation, wanting to ask so many questions, but she was afraid she would pry too far. She had always been quite intrigued by Hede's lifestyle.

"If you love him, why do you feel the need to explore?"

"Because it keeps me in love with him. I know it sounds strange, but our arrangement is something we share together, and it helps keep us connected." Maria nodded, but she still didn't understand. She supposed it was one of those things she simply wouldn't, and that was okay with her. She only had eyes for her husband, and she couldn't fathom the idea of ever sharing him with another woman, or sharing herself with anyone.

"If it were possible to be married to a woman, would you be?" Hede laughed, biting her lip for a moment before she sighed.

"Are you asking me if I'm queer?"

"Yes, I suppose I am." She shrugged, leaning forward to rest her arms against the table. "Though it doesn't matter much to me."

"You know, I remember the first time I went home with a woman, my first husband and I had this same arrangement, of course. Afterward, I wept uncontrollably. The guilt you're feeling, I felt to my core, even though it was agreed upon, and he knew where I was and what I was doing."

"Then where did the guilt come from?"

"A place in my heart that has always known I don't belong in a man's bed." Maria nodded, taking Hede's hand in hers and giving her a small smile at the confession. It broke her heart that she had spent her life living a lie, there was no real option for her. Hede laughed a bit as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "I didn't expect this conversation."

"Have you ever said that to anyone?"

"No, I haven't. Not that it's much of a secret, I suppose." Maria shrugged, leaning back in her chair once more. "The guilt will ease with time. If he truly forgives you, then you are eventually going to have to forgive yourself."

"That's very easy to say. Meanwhile, I can't even look at myself in the mirror." Hede patted her hand, giving her a soft smile.

"I'm going to be honest with you, and I don't want you to be upset."

"Since when do you warn me?"

"I'm feeling generous." Maria gave a small laugh, and Hede smiled in return. "I think you kissed that man because you're merely a bit lonely. You need to have sex."

"Oh stop. It's always about sex with you." She rolled her eyes, beginning to stand, but Hede stopped her with a hand upon her arm.

"I'm not finished. When was the last time you made love to your husband?" Maria sighed and thought to herself for a moment, and suddenly her brow furrowed. Had it really been so long?

"I can't be counting correctly." A bit over a week since their argument, the week before that he was distracted by his project…she shook her head.

"That long?"

"Well…about three weeks, I suppose. Perhaps longer."

"My God, Maria, no wonder you're both so on edge."

"We haven't exactly been on the best of terms lately."

"Are you still afraid to let him touch you?" She paused for a moment, shaking her head.

"I'm not, necessarily."

"He said you were. And he's afraid to touch you." Maria met her eyes, seeking truth.

"Is this what you and Georg talked about your first night here?"

"Other things besides, but yes. He was very distraught after you argued the night I arrived." She sighed, twisting her wedding band around her finger.

"I'm not afraid of him...I'm afraid of me. I'm afraid that I'm so in love with him that I'll accept him yelling at me or hurting me or having a problem with alcohol. I'm afraid I'll always stay no matter what, because I have never loved someone so deeply." A tear escaped down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away.

"And so putting distance between you makes it feel easier to protect yourself."

"I haven't meant to put distance between us. The distance just sort of happened over time, I suppose."

"Then close the distance. Make up to him, for real this time, and then don't let it happen again. I've never seen him love someone like he loves you either." She shook her head, biting her lip in thought. She had been so much in her own head throughout their troubles, it was eye-opening to have a true outside perspective.

"And if things don't change? Say I give all of myself to him, and he starts drinking again and becomes worse than he was."

"You think he'll hit you?" She shook her head, doing her best not to cry. She and Georg had talked it through extensively the night before, after all, but somehow Hede was bringing it all back to the surface.

"You didn't see the way he looked at me, the things he called me."

"Maria, he isn't the man who raised you." Hede's words were soft, but they were enough to release the tears she had been holding back. She brought her hands to cover her face, allowing the words to sink in.

"What do you know about that?" She wiped her face, certain she had never told anyone besides her husband.

"Not much, it's hard to pry anything out of Georg. I only know your uncle was abusive to you, and I think you've never properly dealt with that." Maria sighed, wiping the remaining tears from her face.

"Georg is a much better man, and I know I'm safe with him, really I do. I suppose you pick up certain defenses as you grow."

"That's a very kind way to say you're still tortured by your childhood." Brow furrowed, she shook her head. She didn't think about it all that much anymore, not since she met Georg. When she was a postulant, she did a lot of work on herself and with God to learn to forgive her uncle. In a lot of ways she supposed she had managed to forgive him over the years.

"Not tortured, perhaps only shaped."

"With a mother like mine, I do understand that. And I would also like to take a moment to address how you told me I sound like my mother. You really are a bitch." Maria laughed, a hand over her mouth as she remembered the things she had said to Hede when she arrived to breakfast.

"I'm so sorry, I could have said nothing worse." They continued laughing together, the darkness of their prior conversation needing light. "Thank you, for everything."

"No matter what, you're still my sister." Maria smiled, taking her hand. She had never imagined she would be so thankful for the sibling she gained when she married her husband. Her friendship meant more than she could have ever imagined. Suddenly, Mia appeared in the doorway, dressed in her party dress from the night before and looking every possible emotion, as well as quite disheveled.

"My goodness, Hede, is this what you do to your guests?" Maria's eyes widened at the sight of her friend, and Hede began to laugh. Maria stood and wrapped an arm around Mia, bringing her over to the table and beginning to make a plate for her. "My home is officially a bed and breakfast."

"Maria, I'm so sorry to have disrespected your home in this way." Mia spoke with nerves, clearly feeling deep levels of remorse. She seemed quite shaken.

"You haven't, dear. Hede has, but you haven't. Here, eat this and we'll phone your husband." She placed a plate in front of her and patted her back in comfort as Hede feigned offense.

"Had you not interrupted, you would have never known." Hede stood from her place and walked around the table to Mia's side, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss against her lips. "Since I have a feeling this was a one time thing."

Hede left the room, waving behind her as she went to presumably chat with her brother. Maria sighed as she felt she was left to pick up the pieces of the girl in front of her, who still looked as if her thoughts were racing in all directions. As much as she loved her sister-in-law, she was glad her visits were few and far between when she traveled alone.

"On second thought, you look like you need an ear. Shall I drive you home?" Mia met her eyes, nodding gratefully as Maria handed her a glass of juice.