Amylovestakuya: -hands tissue- this chapter's sad too, I'm afraid.

Ravenrockstheworld: Stories are always better the second time you read them, don't you think, Ray?

Colleen: A little much to take in all at once? This chapter calmer and easier to understand.

AnonymousWriter25: Hope you like this chapter too!

Black honey: Now I feel bad for almost making you cry, although that is the point of a sad story…

Eternity's Shadow: Thank you very much!

Ortoyoga: A happy ending does seem impossible, doesn't it?

Chapter 3

Nikki's mom was helping her get ready for the funeral, since Nikki didn't really have the spirit to do it herself. She watched as her mom pulled out a black blouse and black jeans before stopping her. "Would you mind if I wore your black skirt instead mom? Jeans seem a little…"

"Inappropriate?" her mom finished for her and watched Nikki nod. "Sure you can wear it dear, I'll be right back." She left the room to go fetch the skirt.

As she heard her mom walk down the hallway Nikki fell back on her bed and stared at the white ceiling. She still felt the numbness she had two days ago. She began to think when her mom came back and gave her the skirt.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked softly, referring to the funeral.

Nikki sighed. The numbing sensation she felt was gone and all the pain flowed back to her. She suddenly shouted at her mom, "No! I'm not ready for any of this shit! He shouldn't have died! I should have told him how I felt! Now it's too late! I…" She collapsed into her mom's arms, weeping terribly. Her mom soothed her and they stayed like that for about a half an hour before Nikki finally calmed down enough to get dressed and ready for the funeral.

- - -

It was a dark day, quite suitable for the occasion. Nikki got out of her parents' car and looked around her. They were at the local cemetery and not too far off she could see the small gathering of people for Jonesy's funeral. She spotted Jen coming towards her. She walked up to her and they hugged. They went together towards the crowd in silence.

The ceremony began and everyone was in tears. Nikki silently thanked god that it wasn't an open casket. She wouldn't have been able to put up with seeing him cold and lifeless… She shook the thought from her mind.

Jonesy's dad stood up to say a few words. He was a wreck. He had dressed for the occasion, of course, but he couldn't hide the dark circles under his eyes nor his fallen expression. Everyone was silent except Ronnie; Jonesy's little brother, who was nearly howling he was crying so much. Mr. Garcia caught his other son; Diego, 's eye and he took Ronnie's hand and led him away for a bit to let him calm down. Mr. Garcia talked for a while about Jonesy before he had to stop when he couldn't control his voice from cracking.

Nikki felt numb as the ceremony went on, so numb that she couldn't even remember what happened during it. She realized what was happening as they were lowering the casket into the hole of the grave. Most people began to leave then, some going over to Jonesy's family to give their condolences while others stood around mingling a little bit. Nikki stayed in her seat and watched as some men shoveled dirt into the hole.

- - -

Nearly everyone had left, but Nikki was still in her seat. She hadn't gotten up once, even when the gang came over to talk to her. Her parents were waiting for her at a respectful distance. They would wait as long as it took for her to be ready and she knew they would. That fact both comforted her and threw her in denial. She'd never be ready, never! She slowly got up and walked towards Jonesy's grave. She looked upon the tombstone and read the words inscribed on it silently to herself.

Jonesy Garcia

1989 – 2005

Son, brother and friend.

She felt like spiting on the last line. It barely said anything about him! It said nothing about his humour or his kindness! It said nothing about how protective he was of his friends! It said nothing about the loving look he had in his eyes whenever he looked at her and how much pain they showed when they broke up… Nikki fell to her knees in front of his tombstone and let out a small moan before crying into her hands.