Chapter 10: The Inevitable

"I told you we'd talk on the weekends," Mara said, "didn't I?"

"Yes, you did," Draco agreed and kissed her deeply.

"I'm always right," she said, smiling. "Now, haven't you anything better to do with me than kiss me?"

"I could think of a few things…" he said, trailing off, his expression somewhere between joking and serious.

That comment earned him a hit on the head.

"Ow!" He exclaimed, rubbing the spot where she'd hit him.

"You know, Draco," she said, with slight anger in her voice, "I'd just bragged about you not even saying anything about that earlier this week! I can't believe you!" Her tone had gotten lighter and lighter, and at the end, she was laughing.

"I silence you, woman," he replied, kissing her again.

"Draco! I'm trying—" she giggled, "to be serious here!"

"You aren't succeeding very much," he said skeptically.

"Someone keeps distracting me!"

"Glad to be of service."

Later that Saturday morning, Mara was talking with Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Ron had finally warmed up to the idea that Mara was not so bad after all.

"So, Mara," Ron said quietly, "about the Slytherin dormitory… was it special, like Mal-Draco always says it is?"

She laughed. She had picked up a bit of Spanish living in America all those years, and knew "mal" meant bad. "No, it was just the same, with different colors and people is all. Draco probably said it because he wanted it to be so much better than yours."

"Probably just wanted to lord it over us," he mumbled.

After a while, Hermione announced that she was going to help Ron study. They'd decided Friday afternoon when Ron was unable to turn an old book from black to blue. His had ended up a bright violet.

Mara and Harry still walked around outside. The leaves crunched underneath their feet. They were both silent, just walking. Mara, feeling a little tense and slightly nervous, was reverting to an old habit of not walking straight. She did this whenever no one was talking and there was this feeling like someone was supposed to say something, but no one ever did. Bad part about this habit? She always ended up much closer to the fellow walker than before. Their arms brushed. A tingle ran down her spine. She pressed her lips together and blushed. "Sorry," she said.

Harry nodded, unable to speak. Mara probably thought of it as a simple mistake. One she had made millions of times. With millions of friends. But, Harry thought, I felt electricity.

He must think I'm an idiot. She mentally kicked herself. I ran right into him. I thought I'd grown out of that years ago! And then I just had to blush. Just had to say sorry so damn quietly!

Harry looked over at her. She seemed worried. "Hey," he said, touching her arm lightly, stopping. "It's alright. Just a mistake." He smiled. "And a tiny bit of static electricity from this weather."

She nodded, and it was all she could do to keep smiling and not look as shocked as she felt. He felt it too. That phrase was all that ran through her mind as they walked again, the silence much more friendly.

Then they began talking again. Harry hated this silence. He wanted to say so much, but her relationship with Draco had him second-guessing his every thought.

"Sometimes," she said, "I wish that there was some spell that could tell you what you really want, or need. Some decisions are so hard to make, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean," he replied with almost an air of awe filling him. It was as if she had read his mind. "Magic makes so many things easier—we can move instantaneously, change things, make things do things like float, change colors, make potions to do all sorts of strange things, but there's never a way to know your…" He trailed off, unsure of what to call it.

"Heart's desire," she finished, smiling. Two pictures flashed through her mind. One, kissing Draco that morning, laughing, but with a niggling feeling going through her all the while, remembering that crackle in the air that had been insane in the hospital wing, with Harry. The second picture was of that moment, that one insane moment, when her face was inches from Harry's, when she was on the edge of her hospital bed. The moment she had almost kissed Harry Potter was the only thing she thought of, just for that moment as she smiled up at that same face. Oh my God. I can't be falling for Harry. I… I'm with Draco. She mentally shook herself, to get her mind back on track. "We've got Quidditch practice tonight, don't we?" She looked up at the sky and was relieved to see no sign of rain at all.

"Yeah. Glad it doesn't look like it'll rain. It's murder practicing or playing if its stormy."

Mara nodded. "Our next match is up against Ravenclaw, right?"

"Yeah," he said again. "Then another against Slytherin. We've both beaten Hufflepuff, then, when you were with them, the Slytherins beat us and Ravenclaw."

"I know that they won a lot before I came here, right? They won the cup so many years in a row before either of us would have been first years, if what I heard was right. Yet…"

"Yeah, they used to win a lot. But this year… I don't know. Something must have made them more relaxed, I guess."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Okay, I see two hidden meanings in there. Either you're saying I'm good enough to make them feel secure enough to ease up, or the same thing that Wood was trying to say about me and Draco."

Harry kept his eyes on the ground. He had really meant both, but he was pretty sure that Oliver didn't feel as jealous as he did.

"You are a great player. You know that. And you should also know that I don't think you distract Draco. Not on purpose anyway," he added, remembering how during the first game he wasn't able to stop looking at her.

"Thanks, Harry." She smiled. "It amazes me sometimes how everyone here seems to understand me so much more than my pa-aunt and uncle did. Especially you and Draco."

Harry noticed she'd paused before saying Draco. "Not to, er, pry or anything… but is everything okay with you and Draco? You seem a little upset about that."

"Really?" She blushed again. "We're… fine. It's just been difficult, since we can't talk anymore, not like we used to."

"I understand," he said, his heart soaring at the news that things had been difficult. Difficult was usually just short of rocky.

"Actually, this morning was… weird. He didn't act like he usually does. He seemed so different…"

Multiple things ran through Harry's head. Mostly the root of it was Mara's worried tone, and thinking that maybe, just maybe, something would make them split up. Then, he would make Mara realize how he felt about her, and how she could feel about him. "I don't think I would be the best person to talk to about this, really. Why don't you talk to Hermione?"

"What," Mara said playfully, "is Harry afraid of some girl talk?"

"No," he answered slowly, "I just think Hermione would be more understanding. Of course, there is still the whole thing about her punching him, but I think she's over it. For now. Not sure if Draco is, though."

"Actually, I don't think he is. He, uh, told to me about it, right after I found out about my parents."

"Right. Hey, not to try to put a damper on this lovely walk, but I'm getting tired. And I really want to talk to Hermione. Thanks, Harry. You're a great friend." She gave him a quick, friendly hug.

They both felt the charge between them, even in a hug they might have given Ron or Hermione. They separated quickly, and Mara ran ahead and found Hermione and Ron still practicing. Just as she walked in silently, Ron finally turned his book blue, and looked over to Hermione, as if to say, I held my end of the bargain up, now it's your turn, before he walked right up to her and kissed her. This definitely left Mara staring, with her mouth open. She cleared her throat.

"Hi, Hermione, Ron," she said as they looked at her, jumping apart.

"Mara! I… uh, we thought you were out with Harry," Ron said, blushing bright red.

"I was. Uh, Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"You've got this bit of red, right there." She pointed at his face.

"Damn. Lipstick?"

"No," she said slowly and deliberately. "More like blush." She burst out laughing. She couldn't help it, and Hermione joined in. Ron looked at them both. "I'm sorry, Ron," she said. "I have to talk to Hermione. Alone, please?"

"Sure, whatever. This way you can laugh at me without me knowing." He left the room.

Mara turned to Hermione, a distressed look on her face.

"Mara? What's wrong?"

"I'm in big trouble, 'Mione."

"How? What happened? You've got to tell me more."

"It's Draco. I… feel like he's different. Or maybe it's just me that's different. Maybe I'm looking for something to blame him on. Maybe… I'm looking for something to make our relationship worse."

Hermione pretended to be surprise. "Why? I thought you… were happy with Draco?"

"I am. I think. Or, I was. I thought. I don't know!"

"That doesn't answer why still."

"Because… because…" She couldn't answer, or look her friend in the eye. Her gaze was glued to the floor.

"Is there… someone else?" Hermione tried to put this in the nicest way possible.

"Maybe. I'm not sure. Probably."

"I'll take that as a yes. Let me hazard a guess, and say I know him?"

"Yes." Her eyes stayed on the floor.

"Mara. Look at me." Mara's gaze reluctantly peered into her friend's eyes. "Is he… Harry?"

Mara just looked at her. Her dark blue eyes seemed to become much darker, deeper, as they filled with tears. "What am I supposed to do?"

"This is going to sound horrible, but… You need to follow your heart. That's all there is to it."

"All there is to it? It's the most complicated thing ever! Harry understands me. But Draco stood by me. Draco's heard me sing. But Harry seemed like he wanted to. And… when I woke up in the hospital wing that morning… oh God, this will sound so stupid, but I saw them both sleeping there, and I knew they were going to make me choose! But I could never choose between them. I feel like Draco…"

"Are you uncomfortable with the 'L' word?"

"Not usually. But since I met them, and started thinking about it…"

"It seemed about as complicated as following your heart."

"They seem like the same. I guess they are. I feel so… messed up."

"Of course you do! You're stuck in between two guys, both who you think are great."

"Yeah. And how do you choose between them?"

"You don't. I think they do. They do, and your heart."

"Oh yeah. That helped so much," she said sarcastically before saying, "I'll try to figure this out… I hate all this."

"Just wanted to remind you of something. Which one do you always try to fault? Maybe that will help you figure it out."

"Or think that you're playing favorites in my love life!" She laughed. "Or maybe you just want all us buddies to be paired up together." She raised her eyebrows and gazed toward the door. "You and Ron… What will Mrs. Weasley say?" She said it playfully, knowing she would approve.

They both grinned at each other and laughed, and, still laughing, Mara told Ron he could come back in.

"Thanks so much, Hermione. I really mean it," she said as she left the two alone.

She ran to the Gryffindor dormitory and got her wand out of her pocket and made motions in the air, watching the glittering gold lettering float from its tip. It was a trick her tutor had taught her, and she read the words that she had willed it to spell out.

"Who do I love? Who should I love? What is my," she paused a moment before spelling out the last word, "destiny?" And she hoped to find the answers to all three, something most people, even witches and wizards, don't find out until too late, or never at all. She hoped to find out before she left for home again.