Disclaimer: The Teen Titans and associated characters are the property of DC Comics and AOL Time Warner. This story is being written for entertainment purposes only. No profit is being sought and no Copyright infringement is intended.

ACKNOWLEGEMENTS:

One again, I'd like to thank everyone who read and reviewed Chapter Four.

First off, I'd like to Dedicate this chapter to the all the BBRae shippers. I know some of you were clamoring for this scene (I'm lookin' at you, WickedWitchoftheSE!) So here it is; something just a little fluffy.

Also, much love to my Beta-Reader, Vixxelinn. Without her pointing out when me write badly, you no get good story for read.

Finally, I'd like to extend my gratitude to CalliopeMused, For providing guidance when it was sorely needed, and inspiration when mine had run dry. Maybe one day, I'll be as good a writer as her (I hope!) Thank you so much.

CHAPTER 5: MORNING

Beastboy was unsure why this was "his" place. It seemed that everyone had a place they went to when they needed to think, to clear their head. Raven had the roof. Robin had the training room. Cyborg had the garage. Starfire had the kitchen.

Beastboy had a rock.

Well, calling it a mere "rock" was a bit of an understatement. It was a boulder, actually.

Beastboy wasn't sure how many times he had come to the now familiar boulder. He couldn't even figure out what made this particular area of the shore so special; one boulder was much the same as any other. And yet, whenever his mind was ill at ease, he always found himself there.

On this particular morning, Beastboy found himself sitting in the dim pre-dawn twilight, trying to come to terms with the ghosts he thought he'd exorcised years before.

It's been so long since I'd talked about my parents to anyone... not since the Doom Patrol.

And that certainly turned out well, didn't it?

Beastboy sincerely hoped that the judgment of his current teammates wasn't as harsh as the Patrol's had been. But he didn't hold out much hope; truly there were many similarities between Robin and his former superior in the Patrol, Mento. They were both good guys, but above all else, the team came first.

Maybe I shouldn't be a part of the Titans, anyway... who knows if I'll lose control again? It's not like the Titans are suffering from a great shortage of bad guys to fight... the last thing they need is worry about me. I can't stand the thought that I could hurt one of them... I have my parents' blood on my hands already... I don't want my friends', too!

Beastboy was roused from his unpleasant musings by the the sound of a soft footstep on the shore behind him. He didn't need to turn to know the person's identity; his unnaturally keen nose caught the scent of sandalwood incense and old books.

"Good mornin', Raven." Beastboy looked up at the murky gray clouds in the sky above. "Well, it's a morning, anyway. What's up? Are the others lookin' for me, or something?"

"No, they're all still asleep. But , ummm... I'd like to talk to you. Well... 'need to talk to you' might be more accurate."

Beastboy turned to face her. "That sounds fairly ominous." As he looked at her, something seemed... off, about her demeanor. Her hood was up, but even so, Beastboy could see that she seemed to be unwilling to look at him. Her eyes seemed to be fixed at a spot on the ground at her feet.

Great, why do I get the feeling things are about to get bad?

"Well, you certainly seem serious...er. Go ahead."

Raven sat down on the boulder, several yards away from Beastboy. After a moment's silence, she spoke quietly. "I want to talk to you some more... about your childhood."

"What's there to talk about?" Beastboy said, a hint of wariness coming into his voice. "I thought my dad's journal would cover the details of my disease I'm not real sure on."

"That's not exactly what I mean." Raven lifted her head and looked at Beastboy. "I want you to tell me about your parents."

Beastboy looked away from her, fixing his eyes on turbulent waters of the bay. "There's nothing to talk about." His voice had an uncharacteristically cold quality to it.

"I beg to differ," Raven replied dryly. "I'm not certain how to break this to you gently, so I'll just say it.

"I saw your parents die. I saw them drown."

Beastboy turned to face her again, his shock plainly written on his face. "What? H-how did you...?"

Raven sighed. "It seems that since defeating Trigon, there have been some... things going on with my powers. I looked into your mind while you were sleeping last night, an-"

"You looked into my mind?" Beastboy rose to his feet, scowling like a thundercloud. "Raven that's... how could you? I mean, I know that the others sent you to get me to talk, but that's... how could you do that to me?"

"Beastboy, stop! Just listen to me a second!" Raven rose to face him, uncharacteristic hurt flashing on her features. "Please, just let me explain..."

At the sight of Raven's anguish, Beastboy felt his anger at her subsiding. It was unusual to see such an open display of feeling from the stoic girl, and he was always affected deeply when she was upset. "Alright. I'm sorry. I'm listening," He said.

She took a deep breath. "It wasn't intentional; I'd never do anything like that to you. It's something that's been happening while I'm asleep. Instead of having normal dreams, my mind has been looking into yours at night. I'm not doing it on purpose, believe me."

Beastboy looked puzzled. "I'm not sure I understand. Why is your mind so interested in me?"

"Well, it seems that my subconscious has taken a look into all the Titan's thoughts, but I always seem to remember... yours, for... whatever reason," Raven replied, with a trace of embarrassment in her tone. "Possibly, it's because of the strength of what your feeling right now. You are going though a very hard time right now; it's only natural that my empathy would pick up on that, I suppose... but I'm not certain."

Beastboy turned away from her and looked out into the distance once again. "Then, you saw them. You saw the accident?" he said in a small voice.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Raven replied, taking a step closer to her. "I saw it, and I... felt what you were feeling when it happened. I'm very sorry, Beastboy. I wish I could tell you that I understand what you're going though, but I don't. I've never felt anything like that, myself. But If there's anything you need to say, I'm willing to listen."

The green Titan continued staring out over the water. "What is there to say? They're dead. I'm alive. I moved on."

"That's just it, Beastboy, you haven't. When we talked about them yesterday, I could still feel the sadness in you. It was the same thing you were feeling all those years ago. You haven't moved on at all; you just hide the grief behind that clown mask you wear for us. You can't do that forever."

Beastboy didn't trust himself to respond to her words. He continued to stand in stony silence, looking out at the eastern horizon.

After a few moments, he heard Raven speak. "Aren't you going to say anything to me?" Her soft voice seemed very close now, almost as in she were standing at his shoulder. He continued his silent vigil.

"Fine, then. " She paused a few moments, and he heard her sigh, as if in resignation. "If you won't talk... then maybe you'll listen." Beastboy heard her cloak rustle softly. He turned and found her seated upon the rock once again, now with her hood lowered. In the pale light of the dawn, her gray skin had an almost ghostly pallor. The twilight leeched the color out of her cloak and hair, turning them black, yet made her huge amethyst eyes glow almost incandescently.

"R-Raven, " Beastboy stammered, "I'm not sure I understand wh-"

"Quiet," Raven said, cutting him off, "you had your chance to talk. Now, you just need to listen. And you might as well make yourself comfortable; this might take awhile."

Intrigued at his normally laconic teammate's sudden need to talk, Beastboy sat down next to her on the boulder, his protests forgotten for the moment. Looking over at her, he saw her expression grow pensive as she began to speak.

"Obviously, you know a little about my father, but I've never spoken about my mother, have I?"

Beastboy shook his head.

"I thought not. My mother was a young woman named Angela Roth, who was originally from Gotham City."

"From Gotham?" Beastboy interjected, surprised.

"That's right. Contrary to popular belief, I'm only half demon," Raven drawled. "Angela was a troubled young girl, from what I've heard; supposedly, her parents were stern and domineering, bordering on abusive, even. I have to acknowledge that much of what I'm telling you I've heard second or third hand, but all the things I've seen point to it being true."

"You're trying to say that your mom didn't talk about her past much?"

"My mother didn't talk about much of anything, with me," Raven replied in a quiet voice. Before Beastboy could ask her more, she continued. "Eventually, it seems that Angela grew tired of the oppressive environment she lived in, so she ran away. She lived on the streets for awhile, stealing money and food to get by. But, it wasn't enough, and she probably would have just ended up another statistic, had she not stumbled onto the church, one night."

"'The church?'"

"An abandoned, run down old church in a rather disreputable portion of Gotham City. If I remember what I've heard correctly, she wandered in one rainy night, looking for shelter from the storm. But the church was not as abandoned as she thought. It was home to a group that called themselves The Chosen."

"That sounds pretty ominous," Beastboy noted.

"Well, Angela was in no condition to care. All that mattered to her was that they treated her well. They fed her, clothed her, gave her a place to stay. She could scarcely be blamed for not thinking about what they might have wanted in return." Raven paused from her account, and took a deep breath. "She was probably about the same age as I am right now, not any older, certainly. And no doubt more than a little suggestible. Before long, Angela was a member of the Chosen. And she was happy; for the first time she had a sense of belonging, and people around her that seemed to care for her. So, when the the Chosen said they needed her help with something, she was probably all too happy to help them. They wanted her to take part in a ceremony. A ritual, actually. A ritual to summon a powerful demon to this dimension, temporarily."

"Trigon, right?"

Raven nodded. "That's correct. And the cult wasn't entirely honest with Angela about her role in the ritual. She was promised that as a participant in the rite, she'd be guaranteed a lifetime of happiness. But she wasn't just a mere participant: She had a much more important purpose. The Chosen were actually a cult that worshiped Trigon. They had a prophecy that said the only way for their master to enter our world would be for him to conceive a child, a half human, half demon abomination, that would act as a key to open the door between our world and his.

"The ritual summoned Trigon to this plane briefly, and while he was here, he... took her."

Beastboy was horrified; he did not miss what Raven meant.

"Oh, Raven, I... I-I'm so sorry. I never realized that that's how you were..." Beastboy felt profoundly uncomfortable. "I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything, Beastboy. It's in the past." Raven's voice hadn't strayed from her usual dry monotone, but her eyes looked a little haunted. Beastboy didn't have Raven's empathic abilities, but he could tell that this was difficult for her.

"Raven, listen, I'm not sure why you were telling me this stuff, but you don't have to say anything else-"

"Yes, Beastboy, I do have to." She said with a note of grim determination in her voice. Then she looked at him, and actually smiled a little. "Well, maybe I should say that I want to. It's strange... I came down here to try to get you to talk, because I always heard that's the kind of thing friends do for each other, when one of them is troubled. But I wasn't expecting to be the one doing the talking. I guess that sometimes it does feel good to confide in someone you trust."

"So, you trust me that much?" Beastboy asked her softly.

Raven looked at him, an unreadable expression in her eyes. "Yes, Beastboy, yes I do."

Beastboy was speechless. For his part, he had always considered Raven a close friend, but had just resigned himself to the fact that there would always be a certain distance between them. But now she was stating her complete, unqualified trust in him, and sharing a element of her life that he had a feeling she'd told few - if any - others about.

Beastboy smiled at her, the first genuine smile he'd given since his transformation into the Beast the previous day. "Alright Raven. I'll listen to anything you want to share."

"Thank you," she replied, and began her story again.

"After she was violated, Angela felt that something was... wrong... inside of her. She left the Chosen that very night, in horrible pain, both physical and emotional. She was living on the streets once again, destitute, and alone. And she soon realized that she was with child.

"Her unnatural pregnancy moved along with great speed, and she knew that soon she would give birth. In desperation, she even contemplated ending her own life, to stop the delivery, but something always held her back, in the depths of her mind."

"All the while, Angela's plight was being observed by a group of mystics from the dimension of Azarath."

This jogged something in Beastboy's memory. "Azarath... as in 'Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos?'"

"Correct. Azar, the leader of the monks of Azarath, recognized the potential threat a half-demon child represented . So, shortly before she was due to give birth, the monks came to Angela, and rescued her, taking her back to their home, out of the reach of Trigon's minions."

"And so, you were born in this Azarath place, right?" Beastboy surmised.

"Yes, that's where I was raised, and learned control over my powers."

"So, why did you leave?"

Raven looked down at her hands, folded delicately in her lap. "Things started getting... awkward for me, as I got older. I was starting to ask some uncomfortable questions. I was becoming curious as to the nature of my powers, and my past, which I was never told about in much detail. Eventually, I did some digging through the archives of the Monks of Azarath, and found out most of what I just told you, in addition to the prophecy that said I would be the portal that would allow Trigon to enter our universe. When I discovered all this, I didn't take it so well, and I ran from Azarath. " She chuckled wryly. "I guess I did take after my mother, a little."

Beastboy thought about all this for a moment. "And you found your way here, to Earth... what about your mom? Will you ever go back to Azarath?"

Raven's expression became even more solemn than usual. "I can't. I tried to go back when you and the other Titans were fighting Slade at the library, but... I saw a vision, of some sort. I thought I was talking to my mother, there, and then I saw Azarath in ruins. I'm not how much it was real and how much was Trigon playing mind games with me. But I do know that Azarath was destroyed by Trigon; I've confirmed that much. I'm not sure what became of my mother, but she probably didn't make it."

"Raven, I'm so sorry. Hey, if you want, maybe me and the other Titans can help you try to fi-"

"No, Beastboy, that's alright." Raven replied, giving him a serious look. "That's part of what I want you to understand here. I've spent the greater portion of my life focused on my past, convinced that it defined everything I could be. No more. I won't allow my history to dictate my future, and neither should you."

"It's not that easy, Raven," he said.

"Who said it was easy? Nobody promised you easy. It took me the end of the world to figure it out. What will it take for you?" Raven's tone was just a trifle exasperated.

"Why, Raven? Why are you doing this?"

"Well, on a purely logical level, Your mind and body are linked on a very intrinsic level. It might be quite possible that your emotional state might be linked to appearances of the Beast. So, as a teammate, I have a responsibility to be aware of how your emotional state might be affecting you.

"But more importantly, you're my friend, and I don't want to see you like this. That's what really matters."

Beastboy was a little shocked by the vehemence in Raven's words. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, he stood up and walked to the edge of the boulder, looking away from her. Taking a deep breath to try to steady his nerves, Beastboy began to speak.

"Well, there's not much to talk about, is there? I mean you saw it, didn't you? I... I could have done something, Raven! But I ran. I lived, and they died, because I left them."

"Beastboy, you didn't fail them. There was nothing you could have done. I was inside or your memories; I felt how hard it was for you to change. You said yourself it took time for you to master shifting into the larger animals. What mattered was your parents wanted their child to survive, and that's what happened. Is surviving so bad?"

"Sometimes, I'm not so sure how to answer that," Beastboy said in a morose voice.

"Well, I'm glad that you're here, in any case. "

"That... that really does help, Rae. Thank you," he said quietly. Beastboy kept his back to her, afraid that his face might betray his feelings. "It's just... It's just hard for me to put it out of my mind. I never even had the chance to mourn them, even. I had no close family, so I went back to the village, and it was like... I dunno. I mean, King Tawaba took care of me, for a while, and he was great, but... the other people in the village gave me strange looks, because of my being green, and all. It wasn't the same; it wasn't a home."

"I can't say that I can relate to being green, but I certainly can understand what it's like to being different. To be an outsider." Raven's voice was closer to him now, as though she had stood up and stepped nearer to him, as he continued to stare out at the coming dawn. "As for grieving for your parents, that's perfectly natural. You should mourn for them, but then you should move on. It's what they would have wanted." Her voice held a note of gentleness that was rarely heard, coming from the normally distant girl.

Beastboy could actually feel his hands trembling as he stood, still resolutely facing away from her. His voice quavered as he spoke. "After that, I found my way back to the States, and I tried to make a home for myself, somewhere. But nothing worked. I was always the outsider. Always different. But I found that if I was the funny guy, people tended to be a little more at ease with a freak like me hanging around. So, I tried to fit in that way. And I almost thought I had found it, found a home, with the Doom Patrol. But... I was wrong. I still wasn't good enough."

Beastboy heard Raven step up behind him, her voice was almost in his ear as she spoke. "Maybe it wasn't a matter of being good enough. Maybe Mento and the Doom Patrol wanted you to be something you weren't. And you have found a home , here with us. Granted, it's a strange sort of home, but then, being normal is overrated, anyway."

Beastboy had to fight to speak around the lump that had formed in his throat. "What about the Beast?" he asked sadly. "I can't put you guys through that! I don't want to risk hurting you! You're the closest things I've had to family since I lost my mom and dad. I can't do that to you..." His voice cracked with emotion as he trailed off.

"And what about the Beast?" she replied. "The Beast might have saved my life, twice. None of the others were hurt. It's just a part of you that we will have to deal with, together, just like we did with my demon heritage. You and the rest of the Titans were there for me, and helped me deal with that, and we'll help you deal with this. That's what a family does, right?"

For Beastboy, hearing her refer to the Titans as his family was almost more than he could take. He could feel tears beginning to leak from the corners of his eyes, and hoped she couldn't see him weeping as he looked out over the waters.

He took a deep, shuddering breath, and spoke again.

"I just don't want to let you guys down. I mean, I've let everyone down. I let my parents down, and they died, I let the Doom Patrol down, and they nearly died. I can't let the Titans down, too."

All was quiet for a moment, and then Beastboy felt a hand on his shoulder, and heard her voice speaking to him in softly.

"You haven't ever let us down, Beastboy. And I don't think you ever could. You've always been there for us whenever we needed it, be it risking your life along side us, fighting criminals, or simply being there when we needed someone when we were down. And-" she paused for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice held a nervous note, "-And I want to be there for you, now. If you'll let me." Her hand still rested on his shoulder, comfortingly.

Hearing these words from her was more than his strained nerves could take. A chocked sob escaped him, and he felt hs shoulders shake as his emotions overcame him. As he started crying, he felt two gentle arms encircle his trembling frame, as Raven drew him close, and held him, saying nothing.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Yeah, it was fluffy, but I thought the kids deserved it. I've put BB though some bad stuff, and there's more to come, so I thought I'd give him and Rae a moment. I couldn't resist. And, yeah, it's only one scene long, but I thought it should stand alone. Think of it as an "Interlude."

Anyway, this sort of ends the first half of the story. The second half will concern the Titans' encounter with the mysterious employer of the H.I.V.E. kids from chap 3. But it may take some time getting there; this particular brand of evil is pretty methodical (and I'm still working on that part.)

Once again, I thank you for reading, and hope to see you again for the next chap.

Regards,

The Doctor

9 October 2005

(11Oct 2005-Special note- I forgot to mention... Some of you who are familiar with the comic probably know that Angela was given a diffrent name when she was taken to Azarath. I know that I didn't mention her other name; it was intentional, as part of a future plot thread. Can't say more, without risking spoilage. I point this out because a reviewer noticed it, and I realized it would probably behooveme to make note of it, to head off confusion. -Doc)