Disclaimer: I don't own law and order SVU or any of it's characters they belong to Dick Wolf. I also dont own the poem so yeah.

Eternal Sun

Some days when the skies cloud over
We don't know what to do
Should we give up or carry on
Or move to somewhere new?

Elliot peered over at me from his desk, it seemed like he was trying to hide the fact that he was staring at me. I knew he was trying to read my face, see what he could salvage from the ruins of my person.

"Hey 'Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't look so hot, are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah," I responded, "I just need some fresh air that's all."

He knew I was lying, he probably also knew what was bothering me, you Alex. I wondered for a moment if he knew I had feelings for you. Knowing him he probably did, but he was my partner and knew me well enough not to press the issue.

I left the paperwork I had been staring at for the last hour and went to the rooftop. By that point everyone in the precinct knew that people went to the precinct for privacy during the workday when they needed to clear their mind.

No one made a move to follow me; it was like some unwritten contract we all had to give each other a little privacy.

I was a bit surprised to see someone up on the rooftop until I realized it was Munch. He didn't seem to hear my footsteps approaching nor did he make any move to show he knew I was there when I came and leaned over the rail beside him.

His eyes looked intently on the world below, searching for something. "See something interesting?" I asked finally he spoke.

"Just looking at the world beneath us, I mean look at them-all those people naïve to the true pain and suffering of the rest of the world."

I swallowed hard, Munch was smart and all but his ideas of the world were different. Not that I blame him, he'd seen his share of darkness in his time. Still the things he said made it a little awkward to talk to him.

"It's not their fault though…it's sad how happy they are because soon enough they'll see the true pain of the world, and then they wont be prepared…" He said trailing off.

I smiled for no reason; I knew Munch was one guy who'd never change. Still on some level I realized that behind his cynical and sarcastic comments he was like any of us, he was happy sometimes…other times depressed. I realized he was jealous of all the people beneath us who didn't see what we saw every day. But he'd never give up to join them he'd always be one of us he knew that he had to do this job, that it was his purpose in life.

"Why did you come up here Liv?"

"Do I need a reason?" I shot back; caught of guard by his question.

"Yeah…you do weather we like it or not everything that happens in life has a reason…some reasons are just stupider than others."

"I just needa clear my head that's all." I said slowly then let out a sigh.

"Were you thinking of Alex last night?" he asked.

"Yeah why?"

"We all miss her Liv."

I sighed I knew he was right but I felt angry with him, how could he talk to me about you? He had no idea what went through my head last night. He didn't know how painful it was for me to talk about you.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Liar." He responded softly.

He was right of course I did want to talk about you but it was just difficult for me to discuss you with anyone else. I turned away and looked at the sun.

"You'll ruin your eyes looking at the sun like that, watch out or you'll end up like me hiding from the light behind your glasses."

I rolled my eyes and turned back to him, weird old uncle Munch. "I don't exactly want to talk about Alex right now, okay?" I said with a slight hint of annoyance in my voice.

"Relax, despite popular belief there aren't cameras up here recording our every move. Trust me I've checked."

"I miss her that's all." I said softly, thinking of you brought tears to my eyes but Munch didn't seem to notice. I hated standing there letting my emotions run free.

"Excuse me for asking, but was there ever anything going on between you two?" He asked.

"No, we were best friends that's all."

"Did you want there to be?"

"God what's with all these questions since when are you interested in my personal life?" I yelled at him.

"So you did…relax Liv I don't care, and this conversation of ours is private okay? So no worries."

I took in a few deep breaths, "Look at all those people, they probably have never lost anything important to them in their entire lives! But soon life will come around to bite them in the ass."

"Liv calm down you're starting to remind me of myself, which sadly doesn't seem to be a thing to rejoice amongst your generation."

I smiled at his last comment, "I had feelings for her, but now that she's gone she'll never know, not that she ever felt the same way anyways. I just wish that things were different."

"I know, maybe she'll come back someday…maybe not, either way there's no use sulking over the past we just have to move forward with our lives and accept the cards were dealt with."

"But that's just it how do I move on? I mean do I just pretend I never had feelings for her? Besides what gives you the right to tell me to move on? We all know you certainly haven't."

For a moment I saw a brief flash of emotion behind his glasses but it quickly dissipated, he wasn't prepared to let me see his world. "Liv it's not about moving on, it's about accepted life for what it is, and hoping for better days ahead."

"I have accepted it. Anyways I just need some alone time okay? And John I'm sorry for my previous comment, I'm just under a lot of stress right now."

With that I walked away and went to the washroom. I sat on the toilet seat breathing in the sent of lemon cleaner, tears streaming down my face, my thoughts were of you and only you.

If we always wanted summer
Forever we would roam
And the closer we got to the sunshine
The further we'd be from home

XXXXXXXXXXX

The days turned into weeks and then into months, I gave up on that whole "finding you" thing. I knew you had disappeared into witness protection long ago. I heard rumors of a bureau chief named Cabot, I wondered and hoped it was you. But then I asked myself, why hadn't you tried to contact me?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

A car pulled up to the young blonde's driveway, great she thought another check up.

"Eliza, hi."

"Hello." She responded dryly.

"Come uh let's sit down somewhere eh?"

She sat down on the floor like a small child angry for not being bought a candy at the store.

"You'll like the news I have, trust me." He said looking down at Alex with narrowed eyes.

When she didn't move he started talking anyways, "Velez has been…dealt with. You're free."

At that point the young blonde was glad she wasn't standing up for she would have surely falling at this news, "W-what?"

"You're free, now hurry up and get your ass to New York, where you'll be giving further instruction, go Alex you're free…unless of course you want to stay here."

"Oh god no! Of course I want to go home, get me on the first plane out of here!"

The sooner that we learn
To see the seasons through
The closer we'll become
There lives eternal sun...

- Paul Hanafin -

XXXXXXXXXX

Author's note: Well tell me what you think. This story isn't turning out as I planed, but that's because Conviction came out, either way I hope you liked it. If you have any constructive criticism please give it to me, I won't mind or anything, just tell me weather or not you think I should update. Anyways toodles for now, buh bye.