Author's Note: So, uh, trigger warnings… I guess. Things usually don't get this triggery. Nothing is really graphic, it's just sort of implied. Also I originally had Ember and Dean breaking up later, so let me know if you think it feels forced this early on, or if it should've been even earlier. I really don't like writing a lot of angsty hurt/comfort stuff, so I tried to skip over some of it. If nothing else, I'm really proud of the scene with Crowley. Please let me know what you think!
***Ember POV***
April 6, Evening
Ember knew immediately when she had emerged from the demon bond. For the first time in days, she didn't feel angry. And then there was the guilt… the horrible, horrible guilt… and the memories, which crept up and threatened to overwhelm her.
The first thing she did was throw up, violently, all over the floor of the dungeon. The dungeon? Why am I in chains? Oh, right. She'd refused to kill someone that Lucifer wanted dead. Again.
With the Demon Bond lifted, however, the shackles, which were demon-specific, could no longer hold her, and she knew she finally had the option of teleporting away. Where should she go? Not the bunker – she wasn't ready to face Dean yet. Not her mother's, or the house in Conway Springs – she didn't know if Lucifer - Castiel - was still on the loose, and she couldn't afford to put anyone in danger. A motel, then.
It didn't take Ember long to realize that she no longer had a limit on her teleportation anymore; "going dark" had clearly given her another bump in her powers. This would certainly make things more convenient, though she didn't have time to dwell on the issue.
Once Ember was safely at the motel, she called Dean. Ember was thankful, in that moment, for Charlie, who had made her phone untraceable, and also that Lucifer hadn't thought to take her phone away the last time he'd put her in chains. He had been too confident that nobody would come let her out, and he'd been correct.
"You broke the bond," she said, without preamble. Her voice sounded foreign to her, as if she'd forgotten the sound. She choked on a sob. "Is Cas…?"
"He chose this," said Dean angrily. "He chose this. We tried to convince him… but once he had given us the blood to break the Demon Bond, Lucifer took over again."
"Where is he now?" Ember asked. She wasn't sure if she meant Castiel or Lucifer specifically. Everything was confused, and she was trying very hard to suppress the urge to throw up again. Or maybe cry… that also sounded like a good idea.
"Amara took him," Dean said. "He tried to attack her… she wasn't too pleased. Are you back at the bunker?"
Ember was still trying to hold back tears, but failing miserably. "No, I… I need some time to myself." "Do you know what it's like to have sex with an angel, Dean?" Her own words rang in her head. "Did you know I kissed Cas? … It seems I always go running to Castiel when it really matters."
"Oh," Dean said, clearly disappointed in her answer. "But… you're okay, right? Not in any danger?"
"No," she said, and she couldn't help it – the tears were breaking through. "I just-…" Hiccup. "Need to be alone for awhile. Will you-…" Hiccup. "Call my Mom? And the kids? And tell them-…" Hiccup. "That I'm okay, and I'll be around tomorrow?"
Dean sounded disappointed. "Yeah, no problem. Ember, where are you?"
"In a motel," she said. "I wasn't-…" Hiccup. "Sure if Lucifer was still on the loose." Hiccup. "I'm gonna stay here tonight, but I'll be around tomorrow. Promise."
"Okay," Dean said, though he still sounded unsure.
"Thank you," Ember said. "And thank you so much, for-…" Hiccup. "Getting me away from… from…"
"I love you, baby," he said quietly.
"I love you too, Dean," she said, and hung up.
Within seconds, she had passed out on the bed.
-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-
Ember had never experienced anything like this. She'd been miserable when she'd been young, with demons attacking her, still unsure what was going on and what she could do about it. She'd been distraught when she'd had to kill Carl, and when Zee had been possessed and stabbed her. She'd been extremely upset after she and Dean had been demons… but this, this was something different.
Last time, when she and Dean had been demons, they were on equal footing, with equal power. They'd fought often – trying to kill each other and passionate fucking had been so intertwined that it had been truly sickening, in fact. Still, the two of them, even in their demon forms, had been a balance of power, with neither one able to control the other.
This had been different; Lucifer had been more powerful than her. After a few days, that had become a problem – primarily for the tiny bit of her human side that still remained, but also for the demon side that didn't appreciate being controlled. She had become angry with him a few times and escaped, but he could always find her, through the Bond if not otherwise. Castiel had held Lucifer back from doing his worst, and in her demon form she had toyed with Castiel, too, taunting him and playing with his emotions. "Stop holding back! You did this to me, again, at least enjoy it! We can be together again… sort of…"
All night, Ember dreamed of Castiel, and of Dean, and of herself, with black eyes. Her own cackling laughter echoed in her head even when she awoke. If Castiel ever did escape Lucifer's clutches, would she ever again be able to look him in the eye?
First thing in the morning, Ember headed to her mother's, where she spent the next two days. For most of it, she cried, threw up, and refused to eat.
Finally, three days after the demon attack, Ember headed back to Conway Springs to see her children. Krissy had done well while she was a demon, following through with the various precautions they had taken last time in case something like this ever happened again. They were happy to see her, and ecstatic that she was alright.
Slowly, she would slip back into her former life.
***Dean POV***
April 12, Evening
"Sam, how's the research going? You find anything that could help us get to Cas?"
Sam rolled his eyes at his brother. "No, Dean. Is Ember asking again?"
"Yeah," Dean sighed, staring down at the text on his phone. "I'll just tell her we've still got jack."
"I don't see why she doesn't come here and help," said Sam.
"Mmmhm," Dean said, but he avoided the question.
He knew very well why she hadn't yet been to the bunker. First, Dean knew how important it had been that their powers had been equal during their Demon Blood Bond. Even as a demon, he had never had a strong desire to control her, and vice versa. Their time as a demon had consisted mainly of killing other demons that Crowley disliked, screwing random people, singing bad karaoke, hurting people that pissed them off, shirking all manner of usual responsibilities, and just raising general havoc. He had a strong feeling, however, that her time with Lucifer had been different. He couldn't even imagine what she might've gone through.
But it was more than that. Even if her time with Lucifer had been as horrible as he suspected, he knew Ember well enough to know that she would've leaned on him for support… unless there was some reason that she was choosing not to. "Did you know I kissed Cas? Not just after I found out about Amara, but before that, too. Right after you threw me across the room. It seems I always go running to Castiel when it really matters."
Dean wondered if he should break up with her. It wasn't just what the demon had said, either – he knew she had been in love with Castiel for some time now.
When had they fallen apart, for good? Had they had a chance after he had tried to have her memories removed? After Gadreel? After their Demon Bond? He was tired… tired of trying to put a relationship back together that had truly stopped working a very long time ago. He loved her very much, but perhaps they truly were better as friends, or fellow hunters. Their relationship had felt for some time now like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Still, he was not the type of man who would break up with a woman right after they'd been - well, he really didn't want to think about it, to be honest. For the past week, though, his hands had been tied – she had pointblank refused to come to the bunker, or to allow him to come to her, though they had texted and spoken often.
Finally, nearly a week after she was released from the Demon Blood Bond, Ember materialized on the doorstep to the bunker. She took one look at him and burst into tears.
"Ember," he said, and held her close to him. It had been so long since she had been in his arms, and he had been so worried, no matter what else he felt for her… but after everything, she was okay.
When her tears had calmed, they stepped back and looked at each other. He searched her face for a sign of what was going through her head.
She looked down at the floor, guiltily, and he knew – he knew, that this was it.
Truly, it had been a long time in coming.
"Dean, I-…" she began.
"You don't have to do this today," he said quickly. "You've been demon-free for just over a week."
"Yes," she said. "Yes, I do. We have to talk about it, about everything. I want it -…" She hiccupped. "I want it sorted."
Dean sighed. "In that case, let me go first." He took her hand, leading her carefully to his bedroom. On the way, the two of them passed Sam, who averted his eyes.
Finally, when both of them were sitting on the bed, Dean said, "Ember, you know I would do anything for you. Anything. You know I've loved you since the day I met you, and maybe I always will. Now… what happened?"
He gauged her response. Ember averted her eyes again, guiltily. Then very, very quietly, she said, "I was angry… about Amara. So I went to Castiel… it was stupid. I thought Lucifer… I thought he was Castiel."
Dean nodded, his thoughts somehow confirmed. "Did you ever stop loving Castiel?" he asked her softly.
"No," was her quiet response.
"Will you ever love me again, the way you used to?"
Her eyes flitted up to him once more, just for a second, before she once again looked down at her lap. Tears were falling onto her lounge pants. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She bit her lip, hard, visibly, drawing blood, but the tears finally stopped. Slowly, she turned to him. "I thought – I thought… I don't know what I thought."
She bit her lip again, and then continued. "I've never loved anyone the way I loved you. And we tried so hard, but in the end… in the end… I don't know, something happened, after Gadreel. And I kept thinking that we could start over, that things would get back to the way they were before, but they just… never did. And you've been so wonderful, and so supportive, and so great, that I just didn't want to-…"
"It's been the same for me, you know," he said.
"What?" she asked, looking at him with surprise.
"After you were with Cas… it hasn't been the same. I thought that it was, but…" He shook his head. "Things never really felt the same. And then we were both demons, and afterward I thought I was so lucky we were still together… but it was because it was familiar, wasn't it?"
Ember nodded. They sat in silence for awhile, before Ember said, "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I want to be with anyone right now."
Dean nodded, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. Truthfully it did make him feel better for himself, but he felt very upset on her behalf. He wondered, again, what must've happened with Lucifer, and once again decided he didn't want to know. Even in addition to their equal power levels, they had never hurt each other when they were demons because they had truly had a bond, in a very weird demonic sense. But this time Ember's bond had been with Castiel, whom Lucifer had happened to be using as a vessel.
"Where does that leave us?" Ember asked him finally, and his thoughts returned to the current moment.
Dean sighed. "I don't know," he said.
They sat in silence again for a second, before Ember asked, "What about the kids?"
Dean felt a fierce rush of pride, combined with the biggest ache he had yet experienced. "I'd better still see them," he said. "Especially Krissy."
Ember managed a genuine soft smile as she looked at him. "Those kids adore you. Dean, you're welcome at my place whenever – whenever you like. With the way we live our lives, it's impossible that we won't still see each other from time to time, even without the kids."
Dean nodded, thinking about this. "The same goes to you, you know," he said. "Feel free to stay at the bunker whenever. With the way we live our lives, I'm sure there will come another point where you'll need to."
Ember nodded, looking away again and biting her lip. Again, there was silence. Finally, she said, "Dean… can I stay with you? One last time?"
"Yes," Dean said, pulling her close.
***Ember POV***
April 13, Noon
Ember steeled herself, and said the incantation. "Crowley, venit coram me…"
After about 5 seconds, the demon appeared in the abandoned warehouse Ember had chosen for this venture, along with two of his henchmen. Ember smiled – it was just as she'd hoped.
"Hello, dahling," said the Englishman.
"Crowley," Ember said, nodding.
"So," Crowley said, walking around to stand in front of Ember. "Which of the Winchesters need saving this time? It's only been a week since you yourself needed saving…" His eyebrows raised. "Unless you've called me to help save the angel? Surely you know he's a lost cause…"
Ember blanched on the inside, but kept her face impassive. "I've come seeking information, and a favor. I'm willing to deal."
Crowley gave her a skeptical look. "Name your terms."
Ember looked quickly at Crowley's henchmen, making sure that Crowley followed her eyes. "Dance with me, Crowley. A waltz, perhaps?" She clicked a button on her phone.
Crowley's eyebrows shot up, if possible, even higher. Ember could almost see the wheels turning in his conniving head – was it a trap? Ultimately, as Ember hoped, curiousity – or, perhaps, desire – won out in the end, and he took her hands.
They started a slow spin around the room. Once they were out of earshot of his two henchmen, Crowley said, "You've refused to go near me for years, and now all of a sudden you're asking me to dance? How is it you suddenly trust me not to kill you?" He sneered. "Or worse, take advantage?"
Ember smiled at the demon. "I'm more powerful than you are, now," she said. "That's why you brought Tweedledum and Tweedlestupid." She knew his question had been asked to discern whether or not she knew this.
He smiled, acknowledging that she did. "Alright then, name your terms."
"I'll give you a kiss," she said, "And bragging rights."
Crowley was so stunned he nearly missed a step in the waltz, but recovered himself. "Bragging rights?"
Ember smiled. "Unless we're alone with my mother, my children, Castiel, or one of the Winchesters, I won't deny that I slept with you."
Crowley twirled her around, sneering. "And what makes you think this is something that I desire? That you can manipulate me like a ditchable prom date?"
"Because you need that, and more, to secure your place as King of Hell," Ember said simply. "And I need it to secure my safety." She was right, and she knew it. Rumors would've reached Hell that Lucifer had been captured by Amara. Rumors would soon reach Hell, if they hadn't already, that Ember had escaped Lucifer, as well. Ember knew that Lucifer had terrorized Crowley in Hell, and she suspected he would need the boost to his reputation to secure the throne once again.
"I take it that's the favor," Crowley said thoughtfully. "Secure your safety?"
"You must have a few loyal demons," Ember said, gesturing to Crowley's henchmen as the demon twirled her around again.
"True," he said. "Not many to spare at the moment, but I can manage a couple. You drive a hard bargain, but I suppose this would be mutually beneficial."
Ember smiled.
"Now, you also said something about information."
"The Demon Blood Bond," Ember said. "You told Dean and Sam that Lucifer was somehow able to forge a Demon Blood Bond with me while possessing Castiel. You said that you suspected it was because Lucifer is the father of demons, so he could forge a Blood Bond with whoever falls in love with him, or with the vessel he's possessing at the time."
"It would make sense, yes," Crowley said.
"So why did he wait?" Ember asked.
"What?" Crowley said.
"Lucifer possessed Castiel back in the cage," Ember explained. "But it was a month later before he invoked the Blood Bond with me. It wasn't until February."
"Why should I know?" Crowley asked.
"Because you're the only person I know who knows more about demons and demon lore than I do," Ember said. "And, because you've spent the past few months being the man's slave."
Crowley visibly shuddered, but recovered himself and gave Ember a smirk. "As it so happens, I do have some idea," he said.
Ember waited.
"Our deal stands, then?"
"Agreed," said Ember.
"Excellent," said Crowley, twirling her around once again. "According to the lore, Lucifer made demons, at least in part, to circumvent the angel's necessity to gain permission before possessing a vessel. Demons are naturally predisposed to follow Lucifer… at least, generally," he added, with a snide grin.
"You consider yourself above those predispositions," Ember said, smiling at him.
"I consider myself more intelligent," he said, nodding.
Ember waited for him to continue. "Creating demons allowed him to create an army, quickly, without heed for requiring permission from humans. It was efficient, and they were expendable."
Ember thought about this, and Crowley continued. "Demons and angels, though they hate to admit it, are two sides of the same coin," said Crowley. "We all go to the same place when we die. We all need to possess a human to walk around on Earth. So, it stands to reason that an angel could do the same thing as a demon – magically bond a human to him or herself and forcibly increase their supernatural powers."
"Are you saying what Lucifer did wasn't a Demon Blood Bond?" Ember asked, stunned.
"The term for the spell used on you was only ever called a Demon Blood Bond because the angels are too pompous and stuck up to use that method of conversion," said Crowley.
Again, Ember grew silent with thought.
"Everything I know beyond that is mere speculation," said Crowley. "So don't bank on it, if you get in a pinch. It'd be a shame to see you go to waste." Here, he took a long look up and down her body, and Ember gave him a hard glare.
"So, Lucifer invoked the spell that is most commonly known as a Demon Blood Bond," said Crowley. "But he himself is not a demon, nor is Castiel. So it stands to reason that he was susceptible to the pitfalls of all angels – he had to have some sort of permission."
Seeing the stunned look on Ember's face, Crowley dropped her hands. She moved to sit down on a crate in the corner of the empty warehouse, and Crowley stood over her, leering. "So, did you cheat on Dean, then?" He gave a triumphant smile. "Is Castiel your side bitch?"
Ember glared at him. "We kissed," she said. "It was a mistake." She thought, suddenly, of Castiel's words to her about their kiss the year prior, and bit down on the inside of her lip to keep her composure.
Crowley was still leering at her. "Speaking of kisses," he said.
Ember stood up. "One more thing," she said, and glanced over to the other side of the warehouse to make sure Crowley's henchmen were still out of earshot. "Say I did want to try to rescue Cas… what would that cost me?"
Crowley gave a genuine laugh. "More than your soul, and more than your body," he said. "No one likes a whore, Ember. Move on from the angel, he's a lost cause."
Ember glared at Crowley.
"Glare all you like," he crowed, softly. "You still have to kiss me."
"Fine," she said, glancing once again over at Crowley's henchmen.
"Like a lover," he said. "More than you would kiss for a demon deal."
"Like a lover," she agreed.
Kissing Crowley wasn't as detestable as Ember had thought it might be, to be honest. She had known the demon for years now. Ever since the Demon Blood Bond with Dean, he had been a bit like an overly lecherous friend. It was a bit like what she imagined kissing Sam might be like. Plus, after Lucifer…
When it was over, Ember risked a glance at Crowley's henchmen, who were both pointing at them and talking animatedly. Crowley gave a self-satisfied smile. "Well, it's been exhilarating," said the demon, taking her by the hand and leading her back over to the summoning circle in the middle of the room – back over to his henchmen.
"It truly has," Ember said with a manipulative little smile. "I've certainly learned a lot."
"You're going to have to come up with a better proposition than that, though, if you want a repeat of that lovely night in Bermuda."
Ember chanced a quick glance at Crowley's henchmen before saying, "I'll do my best to come up with something to tempt you." Before she teleported away, she caught the slight quirk of Crowley's genuine smile.
***Ember POV***
April 29, Midday
TWO WEEKS LATER
Two hours after her meeting with Crowley, two demons showed up outside of her home. They were there 24/7, with no reprieve. For the first time in her life, the demons gave her some sense of safety.
No longer working feverishly toward ensuring the safety of her family and friends, Ember allowed herself to begin to heal from her time with Lucifer. She found that she did, in fact, have more tears. For more than two weeks, the only reprieve she felt from the pounding depression, and guilt, was sleeping. Even then, the nightmares were almost worse.
After three weeks, Ember still wasn't back to work full time. She was back to work just enough to scrape by, but she was still always so sad. And lately, especially over the past week, she'd been so sick…
She had just finished throwing up for the third time that day when Dean called. It wasn't a surprise – they had texted fairly frequently, and Krissy had been to the bunker at least twice since their break-up. While their first two break-ups had been extremely ugly, this one had been almost too easy, as though they had been headed for this conclusion for a very long time.
"So, you're not going to believe this," Dean started. "But, uh, God is in our guest room."
"God of what?" Ember asked, putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. She had managed to get a shower between bouts of hurling, and she had an appointment in ten minutes with a client that she really wanted to keep, preferably without smelling like vomit.
"God," Dean said through clenched teeth, in a soft voice. "He showed up."
Ember froze, her toothbrush halfway to her mouth.
"It's Chuck, actually. The prophet? I'm not sure if it was Chuck all along, or if that happened after we knew him. And," Dean continued, "Amara came by, as well."
The toothbrush clattered to the floor. "She said she knows he's resurfaced," said Dean. "She showed me Castiel… Lucifer… whichever," Dean said, his voice breaking.
Ember's whole body tensed up, but she said nothing.
"He's not doing so well," Dean said. "She's killing him. She said she wanted me to know. Ember, I…"
"Say no more," Ember said. "I'll be there in five."
-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-
Ember had made herself a promise, a very long time ago, that if she ever got to talk to God, she would ask him a few questions. Once she was faced with him, however, she was having a lot of difficulty working up the courage.
It was breakfast the next morning, and God – or Chuck, as he was apparently calling himself - was eating pancakes. Sam and Dean had gone off to clean weapons, and Ember felt that she ought to say something to fill the quiet… and yet, nothing she could think of to say sounded appropriate.
Chuck looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "Okay, let's have it then," he said.
"What?" asked Ember.
Chuck shrugged, chewing on his pancakes. "You're giving me that look that says you're working yourself up to asking me questions about the universe," he said casually.
"Yeah," Ember confessed.
"Okay, let's have it then."
"Okay…" said Ember slowly. She finished a piece of her own pancake, chewing slowly to give herself time to think. "So… I think I got… some of it," she started. "The Mark of Cain kept out Amara, and it was entrusted to Lucifer, and Lucifer got into the Garden of Eden, and made demons. Right?"
Chuck nodded, still chewing his pancakes. "That's the short version, yeah."
"Okay," Ember said thoughtfully. "So… why didn't you stop it?" She asked it nonchalantly, and was careful not to insert any blame in the question.
Chuck seemed to understand this. "And do what?" he asked. "Let Amara back out?" He shrugged again. Despite the "Chuck" meat suit, his eyes belied his true intelligence and power. "What I did was what I thought best at the time. It was the least objectionable option. It's just that simple."
Ember looked away from him. She was disappointed, but not surprised with his answer.
"That's not really what you want to ask," he commented, and her head whipped around again to look at him.
"What you really want to ask is, 'Why did this happen to me?' You want to know why you were born a half-demon, and why you had to suffer."
Ember looked away from his gaze again, embarrassed.
"I want you to know, Ember," he said, "That I couldn't be more proud of you."
She looked up at him, barely daring to believe, and also somewhat angry. On the one hand, he was God. How often did anyone get a chance to talk to God? On the other hand, there had been so much pain…
"Nobody likes a helicopter parent," Chuck said. "I'm not the type of diety that likes to nitpick every little decision humans make. It's like I was saying the other day. Humanity is so entitled, anymore. And when they don't work for something, and they still want it, then suddenly they're praying to me as though it's my responsibility. But you… you never asked for anything. You, and Sam, and Dean, and a few others… you're the chosen ones, you know? The firewall, between the light and the dark."
Ember looked carefully at Chuck, but she couldn't think of a reason why he would lie.
"And you, especially," Chuck said, smiling at her once again. "A half-demon, on the God squad? It's unheard of! But you've worked twice as hard to earn your place, and earn your place you have."
Ember felt tears cascading down her cheeks, and she looked down at the table, unable to comprehend the compliment. Suddenly, she felt a hand on hers.
"I know what you did," Chuck said, his eyes boring into hers. "When Lucifer invoked the Demon Bond, and Dean before that." She looked up at him, just for a second, quickly looking down again at her forgotten pancakes.
"I can erase your memories, and all the new scars… If you want."
Ember's eyes darted to look into Chuck's eyes again. She felt suddenly fearful, though she wasn't sure why. A month ago she had been desperate for these memories to be removed, but now…
Ember shook her head. "I hate them," she said honestly. "But… they're my memories. I can't erase what I did to those people. I can't erase what I said… not even what I said to Castiel." A final tear trickled from her eye. "I'll keep them," she said determinedly.
Chuck smiled. With one hand, he took a finger and reached out, wiping the tear. "That's my girl," he told her.
***Ember POV***
May 2nd Evening
"Chuck" had been around for just over three days now. Ember had abandoned her job completely, texting hasty cancellations to all of her clients. To be honest, she'd lost an awful lot of clients during her second stint as a demon anyway, and it would take time to build up her business again.
With great effort, Ember, Sam, Dean, Metatron, and a prophet named Donatello had rescued Lucifer, which had been difficult enough. In a surprising turn of events, Metatron ultimately sacrificed himself attempting to hold off Amara.
"Who knew?" Ember said later. "For an obnoxious, horrible, deceiving mother-fucker, he apparently had one good bone in his body after all."
It was an odd dichotomy of desires, Ember mused later. Of all of the beings in the world, Lucifer was by far the one that Ember wanted to see the least, but Castiel was the one she wanted to speak with the absolute most. Everyone else – her mother, her children, even Sam – worried that she would never be able to look at Castiel the same way again, because his image would remind her of what she had been through, but Ember knew this wasn't the case. Castiel and Lucifer were as different as night and day, despite currently possessing the same vessel. With her powers, Ember could always tell which of them was in the driver's seat, as Lucifer had a much brighter shine. Even without her powers, however, Ember would have known immediately, from a quirk of an eyebrow or simply an expression. She had always known, for example, when Castiel had been fighting to take over to save her from Lucifer's worst.
"Please," Ember asked Chuck. "Please do this one thing for me. Just for a minute. Just make him give me one minute to speak to Castiel." And mercifully, Chuck agreed.
"It's the least you can do for her," he chastised his son, while Ember stood listening outside the door.
"I didn't do anything she didn't want," Lucifer snapped.
"You didn't do anything her demon side didn't want," Chuck corrected, "And then you added a few beatings." Lucifer fell silent.
A second later, Castiel came through the door. She could tell immediately that it was him, not least because he looked absolutely terrified of her. "Ember," he said immediately. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I tried-…"
"Cas, I'm sorry," she said. "I never should've said any of those things when you were just-…"
"You were a demon," he insisted. "Because of me. I should've checked, I should've thought…"
"Cas, it's not your fault. How are you?"
Castiel looked at his feet. "I'm doing what I can, to save the world."
Ember's eyes began to fill with tears, and she reached for him, but he shrank back. "I'm sorry, Ember," he said, giving her another scared look. And with that, he hurriedly returned back into the shelter of his room at the bunker, where Chuck was waiting.
"I swear to you, he's such a sap," Ember heard Lucifer's voice say a second later.
She didn't stick around to hear anymore, but fled to her room in tears.
-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-
Ember, Dean, Sam, Crowley, Rowena, Charlie, Chuck, and Lucifer had slowly gone about recruiting everyone they could for the final fight against Amara. Sam managed to recruit the witches with Rowena's help, and Dean and Ember recruited the demons, with Crowley's help. Castiel (Lucifer) even managed to get the angels' help. Even Charlie got in on the action, and hacked into a government computer. She found a way to divert some targeted missiles with concentrated range to where they planned to lure Amara.
Finally, Ember had an idea. She wasn't sure about it, but she wanted to do her part. "God – uh, Chuck?" she asked when she had a moment alone with him, before the big battle.
"Yes?"
"Um… I wanted to ask you… if I unleashed my full power… even my demon powers, to kill and maim? Would it help? I mean, I know it would help," she said, shaking her head. "What I'm asking is… will I be able to come back from it? Do you need me to use them, or…?"
Chuck narrowed his eyes. "Your full powers… you haven't used them outside of the Blood Bonds?"
"No!" Ember said immediately. "I would never…!"
"Then don't," Chuck said. "It would be helpful, yes, but not enough to make a difference, I think. And if you're not used to using them, you could hurt the baby."
"The – what?" Ember said, stunned. Chuck just smiled and walked away.