DISCLAIMER - Tamora Pierce owns everything but the plot, Kodi and her past, and some of the characters.
PART TWO: CHAPTER SIX
An exhausted mother lay in a birthing room. The Healer held out a baby girl to her and the mother took her, crying joyfully. A toddler stands by, watching his little sister happily. A strong and tall man strides in, not looking at his wife. He asks the gender of the new baby and walks out with a sneer when the Healer tells him it is a girl. The mother's tears turn to those of grief as she strokes her daughter's cheek and holds her son's hand.
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A sister and brother hide under a bed as they hear their mother crying. Their father walks in, shouting and yelling. The children wince as they hear their father beating their mother. The brother's arms are around his small sister, silently telling her that everything will be okay, even though he knows it won't be. He is already mature beyond his seven years, but even he doesn't understand the situation fully. Tears fall down their faces as their mother cries. They just want this nightmare to end, but they know it won't be over till morning.
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A mother hides in a large closet with her daughter. Dresses and measuring tapes make it look as if the girl is trying on gowns, but they know differently. The mother teaches her daughter the extent of her knowledge of wild magic there. The girl's father won't let them use their magic, but the five-year old girl already knows how to keep a secret.
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A coffin rests on a stone platform in the middle of a forest. The daughter weeps silently for her mother. She knows about the bruises and cuts that the elegant gown covers. Everyone present mourns except her husband, and secret murderer. He stands solidly, an unnoticeable smirk on his face. The girl throws her arms about her brother, who tries to mimic his father. He also stands solidly, but tears fall down his face. The woman, frozen in death, still looks beautiful with her brown curls splayed around her. The inscription on the coffin rings true: loving wife and dutiful mother.
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A girl follows her father, trying to get his attention. He refuses to look at her.
She takes a breath, concentrating. Her dark blond hair turned to a whitish blond in an instant. She grows a couple inches and then demands that her father see her now. Her father gives her a nod of approval, the first sign that he knew that she existed. She stayed that way for years, never changing back. The weekly beatings she got were better than being unnoticed.
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The same girl, during that same year, watches her brother being dragged away by soldiers. Trying to chase after him, nursemaids holding her back, she screams his name over and over again. He resists, but knows there isn't any use. His father had said that his eight- year old son was trying to kill him and who could say anything different? He's sending his son to live in a tower far in the north, locked away and guarded, with only a mage for company. The girl shudders as she cries, trying to quiet herself as her father gives her a glare.
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A year later, the girl has run out of tears, tired of crying. Holding her brother's cold hand, her face is as stony as her father's. She knows crying won't bring him back, just as she knows that her father poisoned him. The girl knows better than to tell anyone, although the rumor is on everyone's lips. Nothing will bring her protector and only friend back. There is no way that she'll ever see him again, apart from her own death.
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An older girl, with the same long white hair and cold green eyes, climbs out her window at night. The last seven years with her father had been torture. She could escape that now, as long as she hid. Hiding meant changing again, which she did. She hadn't used that form for years, but dark blond hair replaced blond and she lost a few inches. Her eyes also lost some of their chill and her features turned less regal and imposing. Hiding also meant never using her wild magic, because her father would try to find her. To him, his daughter's escape would be a show of rebelliousness that would warrant punishment. As the girl knew well, he could hurt you even if he was miles away. It was one of his skills.
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Kodi woke up from her nightmares, no different from any others that haunted her dreams, except these were memories. Trying not to fall asleep again and relive her childhood, she stroked Captus. Whining worriedly, he tried to comfort her as well as a dog could. Trying to act normal after her years of abuse and pain was hard, but she could do it. She could be strong.
After all, she was Her Royal Highness, the Princess Katoryn Rathhausak, second child of the former Warlord Maggur Rathhausak.
For the past eight months, Kodi, that is what her mother called her, had been traveling all over Scanra. She visited the towns and the cities, getting to know the people and their needs. Shifting between five different forms, Kodi had to keep from being recognized or anything. It was well worth the risk though, because she would have to know this for when she became Scanra's queen.
Kodi didn't want to be queen. She would have never thought up the whole idea if there was a better candidate, but there wasn't. She had seen enough of her father's rule to know that Scanra would fall apart and take the whole realm with it if a caring monarch didn't show up. She would have to be that monarch, even if she didn't want to be.
That brought Kodi to another problem that she had noticed during the eight months. To be a monarch, she would have to marry to get an heir. Even if the people accepted a commoner as a king, Tobe probably wouldn't like it. Kodi knew that she couldn't tell him that she loved him. He had probably found someone else anyway.
Kodi wasn't in Scanra anymore, she was in Tortall. Actually she was in the forest around New Hope. She wasn't going to go in, but she just felt comfortable around. Kodi had come to New Hope intending to see her friends again, but had thought better of it. Why would they want to see her again? She had just caused trouble and hurt people. They probably thought of her as a child. That is why she was sleeping under a tree with Captus as a pillow and why she watched New Hope with tears in her eyes.
"C'mon, Captus." Kodi said, groaning. "It's past time to get up. It's almost dawn and we wouldn't want anyone to find us. Let's move out."
Captus did get up, but dashed off instead of waiting for Kodi. Kodi would have chased him, except that the dog was running towards New Hope. Cursing him, she climbed the tree and sulked for a minute. There was nothing she could do now. Besides being big, Captus was also speedier than a deer. Looking closer at New Hope, she could see Captus walking through the gates. Kel had probably let him in. A minute later, figures on horses came out of New Hope. They were led by Captus.
"Traitor." Kodi mumbled as she jumped out of her perch. She had already decided not to see them again. There was a river close by, if she could lose her scent in that, she could get away. Running quickly, she got to the river within minutes. She could faintly hear Captus barking and shouts back in the woods. It was spring and the river was deep. Ignoring how weak she was from hunger and the beatings she had received, she splashed into the waist deep shallows.
The water carried her away instantly. Instead of swimming across, Kodi was now struggling to stay above the water. The waist deep water was soon deeper than Kodi could reach. Cursing her foolishness, Kodi grabbed a floating log and held tightly to it. Farther up the bank, she could see the riders and Captus riding to the place where she had jumped in. Holding her breath and clutching the log tighter, she ducked into the water. Kodi didn't want them to see her.
Kodi started to shiver from the cold water. Her head spun from lack of air and she had to break to the surface. Choking on water, she looked upriver to see the riders charge down the bank in her direction. Snarling, she started to kick as hard as she could to the other side. This wasn't going as she had planned. She wasn't making hardly any progress and she was getting carried further down the river.
A stretch of the river came up that made Kodi moan. There were rocks everywhere and the water was wild and white. Praying to the gods, she clung to the log and tucked in her legs against her chest. When she entered the stretch, Kodi couldn't help screaming even though she knew that no one would hear her over the river. Her body bashed against rocks and she was twisted so much that she didn't know which way was left and which was right. After one particularly hard bang against a rock, Kodi felt her ribs crack.
"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die." Kodi chanted despairingly. She was washed over a large, flat rock, wincing as she felt her skin scrape. Dropping over the other end, the water sucked her down so fast that she didn't even have time to draw a breath. Opening her eyes, she could see light far above her head, but all around her was cold, murky darkness. After sending one last desperate plea to the gods, she choked on water and blacked out.
Finding herself warm and dry, Kodi was on a dark road. Other people walked alongside her, keeping their heads down. Amazed, Kodi looked around. They were all ages, young and old. Some were even babies, carried by others.
"I must be dead!" Kodi said incredulously. Up ahead there was a large group of people gathered around the Black God. She started to trot forward. Suddenly, the air cracked and a god and goddess appeared. The goddess was tall and beautiful and Kodi guessed her to be THE Goddess. The other, Kodi guessed him to be Mithros, and he was tall and black.
"Brother!" snapped Mithros. The Black God appeared beside him, silent. "Brother, you can't have her. We need to take her back with us." The Black God looked at Kodi, who squirmed under his gaze.
The Goddess spoke with power and authority, making Kodi clap her hands around her ears. "She is a turning point for the realm. If she dies now, the realm will destroy itself." The Black God nodded his assent and the Goddess and Mithros turned to Kodi. She knelt respectfully, kneeling on her left knee, bending her right, and bringing her bent forefinger of her left hand to her forehead.
"Daughter, you have a task set out for you. Make the right choice and do what is required of you." the Goddess said. Before Kodi could ask what exactly her choice and task were, the scene before her changed.
Kodi was back in the water, despite having spent five minutes in the Black God's realm. She found that the water's suction had eased up and she popped back to the surface. Choking up water from her lungs, she felt hands pulling her from the water. Kodi also heard voices penetrating her head. Feeling her consciousness slip away, Kodi let it go so that she could consider what the gods had told her. Maybe she let it go so that she didn't have to feel anymore pain.
Through her sleep, Kodi heard voices that she couldn't understand. She heard Daine, worried, and felt a pang of guilt. She felt awful, she was sore and battered. Kodi knew that more than half the bruises were old, but they hurt even more than the newer ones. Forcing herself awake, she kept her eyes closed and body still so that she could hear what they were saying.
"Why is she back here?" Daine said. "It's been almost a year. I'm glad to see her, but why did she come back now?"
"We don't know where she's been." Numair sounded tired. "She could be a spy or an assassin."
"Or she could have information to give us." Neal argued.
"The point is," Kel broke in, "We don't know. So let's leave her alone and let her sleep."
"I don't have any information." Kodi said, still keeping her eyes closed. She could feel everyone's eyes on her. "I'm not a spy. I wasn't going to come back. I'm going to leave now."
Kodi sat up and tried to swing her legs out of bed. It didn't go well because she had slept with sheets for the first time in half a year and she had forgotten how she got tangled in them. She was also stopped by Neal, the healer, who grabbed her shoulders to keep her from going anywhere.
"You can't go anywhere before your ribs and the bruises heal. You've also got cuts all over. What where you thinking, trying to swim the Greenwoods in spring?" Neal demanded.
"Um, nothing." Kodi said in a small voice, feeling for the circlets subconsciously. They were gone, both of them.
"Nothing is right! You were under the water for five minutes and we thought you were dead!" Neal continued with his tirade.
"I was dead." Kodi said flatly, opening her eyes and wincing at the sharp light.
"You could have died…wait, what?" Neal looked at her in surprise.
"I died." Kodi hid her smirk at Neal's confused expression.
"That's impossible! You would be at the bottom of the river right now!" Neal threw his hands up in the air.
"Actually," Numair pointed out, just like a scholar, "There have been numerous records of mortals returning from the Divine Realms, although it is extremely unlikely that Kodi is one of them."
"From what sources?" Neal argued. Kodi quietly slipped off the bed and lurched as her muscles screamed. Daine steadied her, but Kodi avoided her eyes, shamefaced.
"From Trispan the Thronemaker and Silva the Sprite." Numair said, rolling his eyes as if it were obvious.
"Trispan was drunk the night he wrote that journal and Silva was a proven liar." Neal accentuated his words with his hands. Daine and Kodi left the room, closely followed by Kel. Neal and Numair continued to argue, not noticing the departure of the women. Kel closed the door firmly behind them.
"How are you, Kodi?" Daine asked concerned. Kodi avoided her gaze and didn't answer, examining the floor carefully. "Kodi? Are you alright?" When Kodi still didn't answer, Daine gently held her chin and turned Kodi's face toward her. Kodi's eyes were filled with tears. "Honey," Daine crooned softly.
Kodi threw her arms around Daine and her shoulders started to shake. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Kel rested a hand on Kodi's shoulder. In a moment, Kodi pulled her head from Daine's shoulder and looked towards Kel.
"Hello, milady. How was the wedding?" Noticing Kel's very large stomach, Kodi went on. "But I guess I already know." Kel blushed. "Congratulations. You're expecting." Kodi gave a watery grin to Daine, who had taught her the term.
"Where did you go? How have you been?" Kel asked. The women started to walk down the hallway, away from the noisy debaters.
"I just traveled. I was fine." Kodi was unsure of how much she could reveal around her friends.
"You were beaten." Daine accused. "You were even beaten in New Hope." Kodi opened her mouth, ready to lie. "I don't want excuses. I know the signs and you've got them all. I want to know who's doing it and how." Daine's tone left no room for any argument.
"It's my father." Kodi studied the floor again and refused to say more.
"Is he in New Hope?" Kel said furiously. She hated anyone being picked on when they couldn't defend themselves, which is how she had gotten the name Protector of the Small.
"No. I haven't seen him for two years. He does it by magic somehow." Kodi said, looking around as if she expected him to jump out at her.
"Why didn't you tell us? Numair can make you a magical shied! He'll protect you and you won't have to worry about it anymore." Daine said excitedly.
"No!" Kodi yelled and then quieted. "He said that he'll kill me. He says that he'll kill anyone and everything that I love."
"Kodi, you can't believe him." Kel said. "Bullies usually have more bark than bite."
"He has enough of both. I believe him. He has the power and magic to kill any of you, and the will besides. I'm not going to tempt him." Kodi said with conviction.
"We would have heard of him if he has so much power." Daine was trying to convince Kodi that there wasn't any need to worry, but Kodi knew better.
"Maybe you have." Kodi said vaguely, tracing the pattern of threads on her ragged clothes.
"Have we?" asked Kel. Kodi shrugged and breathed deeply, wincing as her ribs sent sharp pain up her side.
"Where's Captus?" Kodi changed the subject abruptly, not liking the way it was going.
"He's with Tobe in the barn." Daine said. "Good luck with Tobe." Kodi gave her a sharp look. "Oh, Kodi." she said exasperatingly. "It's so obvious."
"I do like him." Kodi said feeling defensive. "I like him too much. My father will kill him when he finds out. Besides, there are other… complications."
"Your father will never find out." Kel pointed out. "And nothing is too complicated for love." At Kodi's raised eyebrow, she grinned embarrassed. "Well, some things could complicate it greatly."
"Go to him." Daine suggested. "Tell him how you feel."
"What if he doesn't like me back?" Kodi said in a small voice. "Relationships haven't gone all so well in my family. It's like one of those family traditions."
"Break the tradition." Kel said gently.
Hopelessly, Kodi threw up her hands. Rolling her eyes, she limped down the hall. Turning at the end of the hallway, she checked to make sure that they hadn't changed their minds. Seeing both of them standing with their arms crossed, she sighed and thumped down the stairs.
Walking slowly into the stables, Kodi heard Tobe singing. He had once been a soprano and even though his voice was lower now, it was still sweet and melodious. The song was a tune popular in Scanra and Kodi found herself quietly humming along. Pushing open the stable door, she winced when it creaked. Tobe whirled around. Once he saw who it was, he flew up and towards her.
Before Kodi could get a word out, his lips were upon hers and his hands under her chin. Forgetting all thoughts of explaining how she felt, Kodi leaned into his kiss. She rested her hands on his shoulders and lost her mind into a land of bliss. Abruptly, Kodi heard her father's grating laugh and heard him say, "No one you love will be safe from me." Kodi pushed Tobe away roughly.
"Never again." she said. A rough mental picture of Tobe lying in place of her brother in the coffin had come to the front of her mind. "Don't ever come near me again!" she yelled. Tobe looked hurt, but Kodi ran out.
Rough bile pushed its way up Kodi's throat. All she could see was pictures of her mother, brother, Tobe, Kel, Daine, Neal, Captus, and even Numair dead. Not even knowing that she was sobbing, she tripped her way over to some bushes. Letting out dry heaves, Kodi could hear her father's cruel laugh. Cool hands rested on her forehead and brought her hair out of the way. Holding her in his arms until she finished coughing and choking, Tobe was gentle to the one who had hurt him so much a moment before.
"Was it really that bad?" he asked nervously. Kodi shook her head, pale and waxy.
"I don't feel good. I have to go." Kodi stammered tearfully.
"Kodi, what's wrong?" Tobe asked confused. Kodi didn't answer but tore off. Captus followed dutifully.
Daine found Kodi later, in a corner of one of the storerooms. Her face was streaked with smudged tears and her hands were tangled in Captus' long fur. Daine shook her softly, bringing her into a hug. Kodi woke up slowly, trembling and shaking.
"It went bad, didn't it?" Daine asked sympathetically.
"Awful." Kodi said. "I made a complete mess of everything."
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Daine asked.
"He kissed me. I panicked and I saw corpses. I pushed him away and ran out. I threw up." Kodi spoke automatically. "Tobe thinks I don't like him now."
"You don't know that." Daine said, trying to console her.
"What would Numair think if he kissed you and you hurled over the bushes? I thought so."
"Tobe would understand if you told him about what you saw and your father."
"No one's going to tell him anything. If my father finds out that I've told anyone, he'll kill you all. Swear never to tell anyone. Please." begged Kodi.
"I swear, but you can't let your father rule the rest of your life, Kodi."
"How come you care?" Kodi asked pointedly. "Why do you care about me? I killed your baby and I cause nothing but pain anywhere I go."
"Kodi!" Daine yelled. "I never want to hear you say that ever again! You did not kill my baby! It was an accident. If anything, it was my fault." Daine calmed her voice and became quieter. "I love you. You are like my little sister that I never had."
"I never had a big sister." Kodi said solemnly. Daine smiled at her and hugged her again.
"I'm your sister now. I'll help you get through this." promised Daine. The joyful moment was ruined by Neal, who rushed in wildly.
"Where is she? What do you think you are doing? Back in the infirmary this instant!" Daine and Kodi shared a private glance. Some things would never change.