Author's Note: I so enjoy the Ember/Castiel relationship. I hope you do as well. Leave reviews! I don't own Supernatural.
***Ember POV***
December 9, Night
Ember had waited 3 days on a rescue attempt, but none had come. She was getting desperate. She was due in just over a week. There had been so many possibilities – her dying, her living, Sam and Dean raising the child, her and Castiel raising the child. Of all of those, the possibility of Dagon raising the child was the absolute worst. Everything she knew, everything she had worked for these past few months, had come to a screeching halt the moment Dagon had found her. She knew she should've stayed on the run.
But she'd been weak. She'd needed the human interaction. Hell, she'd needed someone to remind her to eat, if her behavior at the bunker had been any indication. And now she was paying for it.
But how would it have ended in the end? She'd always been the type to agonize over big decisions, but try as she might she had never been able to come up with a solid plan for this child. Castiel's assertions that the child had to die had not helped. The best plan she'd had before Sam found her at the school had been to secretly have the child in the bunker and hope that Sam and Dean would find it in a timely manner, and would follow her wishes and not kill the child after her death. Frankly, that had been a terrible plan.
Still, Dagon was a fate worse than death, for both her and her child.
Finally, after 3 days, Ember turned to extreme measures.
"Cas… I know we've had our ups and downs," Ember prayed that night. "But… Dagon's got me. I don't know where, either… she blindfolded me. They say birthing this child is going to kill me, and… I know for sure it will kill me without you here to help. And that will leave her raising this child. And all the fighting we did, and going back and forth about whether the child is yours or Lucifer's… none of that means anything anymore, if she raises this child. I'd rather both of us die than have this child be born into the world with Dagon raising it. Please, help me. Tell Dean and Sam I'm okay. Tell them I love them. Tell them to come for me… tell them all to come for me."
***Castiel POV***
December 10, Evening
"Tell them to come for me… tell them all to come for me…"
He was on his way. He had to be ready when he got to her, however. It was for this reason that he had arrived at the bunker.
"Cas!" Sam said with surprise.
"Hello," he answered.
"Hey, you're alright!" Sam said. "Um – where have you been?" Sam said. "And – is there any chance you've heard from Ember?"
"Cas!" Dean said suddenly, spying Castiel for the first time as he walked into the room. "Where the hell have you been? And why have you ignored our phone calls?"
"I was in Heaven," Castiel answered. "I was working with the angels to figure out if there was another way to solve the issue of Lucifer's child. But – yes, Ember has prayed to me."
"She's alright?" asked Sam. "Where is she?"
"She's fine," said Castiel. "Scared, though. But… I don't know where she is."
It was a lie. He knew exactly where she was. For once, the angels had good intelligence.
Dean looked crestfallen. Sam offered, "Well, at least you're back. We're glad you're back."
"Really?" Dean snapped at both of them. "No, I'm sorry. Because while you were kissing ass in Heaven, Ember got kidnapped in the first place. At least last week, all we had to worry about was whether she lived or died out there on her own, since you refuse to work with her to protect your child. But now? Now she's running around with a God damned Princess of Hell when she's ready to pop."
Castiel wanted to disappear like he had so many months ago, but he resisted the urge. He was here on a mission. Anyway, Dean was partially right. "I know," said Castiel finally. "I'm sorry." At least that part was true. This whole trip to the bunker was starting to remind him of the year he had spent deceiving the Winchesters. He was determined, though. Even Ember would understand, in the end. She'd have to. It was the only way to keep her alive, and secure her place in Heaven…
"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Dean continued. "You know what? Whatever. Welcome back." And he stomped away to his room.
It took Castiel awhile to be sure, but by four hours later he was sure that the item he was looking for – the reason he'd really returned to the bunker – was nowhere to be found except for possibly in Dean's or Sam's room. Steeling himself, Castiel knocked on the door to Dean's room. "Sorry, Dean," he said. "Um, I just wanted to return this." He handed Dean the cassette tape that Dean had given him some time ago.
"It's a gift," Dean snapped. "You keep those."
"Oh," Castiel said. Was it under his pillow, perhaps? That seemed like a very "Dean" thing to do.
"Cas, you can't –…" Dean started. He collected himself, then continued. "With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay."
Just a little bit closer to the bed… "Well, I didn't mean to add to your distress. I – Dean, I just keep failing. Again and again. When you were taken, I searched for months and I couldn't find you. And then Lucifer… And now Ember's been taken, and I can't find her. I just… wanted to do something right. And the angels… I thought I could convince them… I don't know, maybe find a way to remove the child's grace, or… if there were some way…"
"The angels weren't having it?"
Castiel shook his head. "Even if we remove the child's grace - which will be excruciating for him by the way - there's no way to destroy a grace permanently except the death of the angel it's tied to. We would always have to worry. It's – I mean, they feel it's more trouble than it's worth." Got it! It had been under Dean's pillow.
Dean sighed. "You think you're the only one rolling snake eyes here? One minute Ember was with us, and the next she was teleported to who knows where. And we have no idea where to even start…" There were dark circles under Dean's eyes, and Castiel could tell that Dean hadn't slept since Ember had been kidnapped.
"Dean," Castiel started. "What if…" he sighed. "The angels say that if Ember has this child, she won't be allowed in Heaven."
Dean froze, then looked at Castiel in shock. "That's not fair. She worked so hard to earn her place there!"
"I know," said Castiel. "But they won't budge."
Dean was quiet for a second, then asked, "Where would she go? When she passes?"
"To the Empty, I suppose," said Castiel.
Dean sighed. "Well, she's in the same boat as Sam and I, then," he said. "Death has told us we'll go the Empty, when we die."
Castiel looked stunned by this. "Dean, that's not good!"
"Cas, I've been to Hell and Purgatory," Dean reminded his friend. "What's so bad about the Empty?"
"Well, nothing," Castiel admitted. "I think you forever sleep there. Just… for everything you've done, and Ember, too… you all should go to Heaven."
Dean nodded. "I agree. But, Death disagrees, apparently."
Castiel tried again. It was his last hope. Perhaps Dean would help him with what he had to do, if he could only make Dean understand… "Dean… when we find Ember, what are we going to do?"
"What do you mean what are we going to do?" asked Dean. "We're going to bring her home."
"No, I mean what are we going to do about the baby? There's no more time to… to decide…"
Dean shrugged. "I've already decided. I've told you. If it's evil, we'll kill it. Or we'll remove the grace. But Sam and Ember are right, we'll find a better way, Cas."
"We?" Castiel asked.
"Yes, dumbass. We. You, me, Ember, and Sam, we're just better together. So now that you're back, let's go, Team Free Will. Let's get it done."
"I'd like that," Castiel lied, his heart sinking. He was all alone, then.
***Ember POV***
December 11, Evening
Forty-eight hours later, nobody had shown up.
Castiel was her only hope, truly. She couldn't get a message to Sam and Dean without him, or anyone, for that matter. At least with Castiel, there was a chance – a very small chance he might leave her baby alive.
"Hey," said Dagon, interrupting Ember's thoughts. "Vitamin time."
"Bite me," said Ember.
"Don't," said Dagon seriously. Ember shoved Dagon with her force powers, but the demon was quite a bit more powerful, particularly with the handcuffs she still wore. "Be a good girl," she snapped, holding Ember steady with one hand and opening her jaw with the other. Ember made an attempt to spit out the Vitamins, but Dagon forced them down her throat.
"Really, Ember? Not taking your pills? And the escape attempts are getting ridiculous." Both of them looked down at her wrist, which was broken from when Ember had attempted to take off her handcuffs. "Stop disrespecting the God inside of you."
"Fuck you," said Ember.
"Fine!" said Dagon. "Go ahead. Play your games. But whether you're healthy or sick, he will be born. And when he becomes strong, every sad, weak human, every tight-ass angel, every sniveling demon… they'll all be consumed." And she slammed the door and headed out to the living room to continue watching 'Wheel of Fortune.'"
-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-
Seventy-two hours after her prayer, Ember had given up entirely. The child would be born any day now, she knew. It was now or never. "Cas, if you're getting this, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. It would've been nice to have a child… with you…"
She looked down at her stomach. "And you, little one… I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I don't know when you'll be born, but it can't be too far away. And nobody knows where I am to rescue me, even Castiel… even your father. But you can't be born here, in this house, to this monster… You could have been good. You could be great… but not with her."
Most of Ember's force powers were dulled by the handcuffs she wore, but she was just a little bit more powerful than them. (Dagon had learned this during escape attempt Number One, which was why there was now special warding on the doors to allow only Dagon to access them.) She had just enough force power, she knew, to break her own neck.
She had always thought that if she killed herself, she would be sobbing uncontrollably as she worked herself up to it. Instead, she felt a steely resolution. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
One crack, and it was done.
Or was it?
Ember felt a golden glow surround her.
Suddenly, she knew. She could feel him. My son. He had brought her back to life! Not because he needed her, because he didn't, not anymore. He could survive on his own now, though he wanted to stay safe and warm a little longer. He did it because he loved her. It felt like the mind bonding she used to do with Castiel, except that it was all pictures and feelings instead of words.
He was good. And for the first time in six days, Ember smiled.
***Castiel POV***
December 12th, Night
It had taken too long to get here. Perhaps he had been dreading it, though, and not driving as fast as he could've. But he was here now.
"Is it done?" said Kelvin.
"Yes," Castiel answered, handing him the Colt.
"Bullets?" asked Kelvin.
"There were only two in the chamber, and I couldn't exactly ask for more," Castiel snapped.
"It's enough," said Kelvin. "One for Dagon, and one for Ember."
"No," said Castiel. "One for the baby."
"Whatever," Kelvin said flippantly. "Either way. They're close. The celestial pulse we felt, Joshua tracked it to a house nearby."
Castiel's phone was ringing. He knew, without looking at it, that it was Dean. Again. He felt horrible.
"You're doing the right thing, you know," Kelvin said, eyeing Castiel's phone. "Committing to Joshua's plan, putting angelkind above the Winchesters. I mean, your reputation in Heaven is –…"
"This has nothing to do with my reputation. I am doing this for the Winchesters, and for Ember. All she wants is to get into Heaven… it's all she's ever wanted, and she's worked so hard. They don't understand… what they've taken on. What I've created. It's not their responsibility, it's… it's mine. I-I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission and to keep them safe from Dagon, and I – I will kill this child so that Sam and Dean don't have to, and Ember can get into Heaven."
***Ember POV***
December 6th, Night
Ember was just beginning to nod off to sleep when the sound of fighting woke her up. Desperately, she pulled on her chain, but of course it was too strong, and her handcuffs kept her from unlatching it. Just when she considered breaking her other wrist, Castiel appeared.
"Cas!" she whispered excitedly. She saw it in his eyes, just for a second – a flash of love, of caring, of understanding. She held out her arms to him so that he could break the magical handcuffs.
Instead, he ignored them entirely, and simply broke the chain to which they were attached. "I'm sorry, Ember," he said. "I can't – not yet. Please understand."
***Castiel POV***
December 12th, Night
"So now what?" Ember asked him twenty minutes later. They were speeding down the road in Castiel's truck. "Clearly you've got other plans for me other than, you know, freedom." She held up her bonds accusatorily, and he drooped his head guiltily.
"First, I'm putting as much space between us and Dagon as possible," Castiel answered.
"And then what?" she asked pointedly.
"I am sorry, Ember," Castiel answered. "I've let this go on too long, because I wanted – I hoped you'd come to your senses."
"Fuck you, Castiel," Ember said.
"I'm sorry for everything," Castiel said. "More sorry than you know. But the son of Lucifer… this is a human/archangel/demon hybrid. That power is beyond comprehension. Your child could bring the universe to its knees."
"Or lift it to its feet," Ember said vehemently. "This baby – nothing is born evil. And by the way… it's not Lucifer's. It's yours."
Castiel looked at her properly, for the first time. He wanted to hold her. She was so thin, and yet still so beautiful. For a second, he even allowed himself to imagine that it was his child, and that it wasn't a threat to humanity. But he couldn't afford this weakness.
"You don't know that," he said.
"Yeah," she answered. "I do. The reason I was there, to take Lucifer down? And again, with Ramiel? And I know you've been talking to another angel, Kelvin. I have premonitions now, and they all surround you."
"That doesn't mean anything," Castiel said, though he suddenly found it difficult to swallow. "And even if it's true, it wouldn't make any difference. I'm not as powerful as Lucifer, but the world cannot afford a demonic nephilim."
He turned to her, then, looking her straight in the face. "And you know they won't let you into Heaven? After everything you've done, how hard you worked…"
"I told you, I already know," Ember said. "I've seen your conversations. And it doesn't matter. This child is good."
He looked away from her again. "I can't take that chance, I'm sorry," he told her. "None of us can."
"So why didn't you kill it already?" she asked, tears streaming down her cheeks.
He didn't respond. Why hadn't he killed the child yet? Why wasn't he killing it now? He had had plenty of opportunities, in the last ten minutes alone. And still, he hadn't killed the child.
"Joshua," he said on angel radio. "I don't think I can do it. Forgive me, I am weak. I-…"
"It is no matter, Castiel," he heard Joshua reply. "Come to Heaven's gate, and I shall do it. She shall feel no pain, and the child shall ascend straight to Heaven. You shall both be welcome there as well, for doing your duty."
"Thank you, Joshua."
They traveled onward for another hour, but finally the truck stalled. Irritated and stressed, Castiel stopped at a motel for the night. Ember needed to rest, anyway.
"I'll get you something to put under the handcuffs," he said finally, once they were settled in the motel. She was itching under them horribly, or at least she was trying to. There was something wrong with her wrist, too… he was pretty sure that it was broken.
"I'd like them off," she said pointedly.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I can't. I know how much you want this child, and I can't. But I want you comfortable. You only need one handcuff, anyway."
Ember opened her mouth to protest, then appeared to think better of it, and offered Castiel her wrists.
"Ember, this is not only broken, it's infected!" Castiel exclaimed when he removed the first cuff. She tried to hide it, but he could see her sigh of relief and tiny squirm when the cuff came off.
"I tried cutting it off," Ember admitted.
"I'm so sorry," Castiel said. He healed it with a touch. Then he put some cloth over her arm from his shirt, and handcuffed her again.
"Thanks," she said begrudgingly. "I still hate you, but that hurt like a bitch."
"I'm so sorry," he said again.
"Something happened to me, Castiel," she thoughtfully as he removed the other cuff. He was happy to see that this side was not nearly as grotesque. "I lost hope. I tried – I killed myself. I broke my neck. I died. "
Castiel gave her a shocked look. "Ember-…"
"And then… He saved me," Ember said. "He brought me back to life."
"That was the pulse," said Castiel. "We felt that in Heaven."
"His power, his soul surged through me, and it was good.," Ember insisted. "Pure. I know he is good."
"Ember, what the child did, that's a testament to his power, but it's not proof of some goodness. He needs you alive."
"Maybe," said Ember. "Or maybe it was a miracle. I mean, it was God that told me I was pregnant, and he seemed in favor. Maybe he has a plan."
"No," said Castiel. "Don't you remember how little he cared, in the end? I didn't want to admit it, either. But he's off somewhere with Amara…" Castiel sighed. "I used to believe in a plan. I used to believe that I had some mission. But I have been through enough now to know that everyone is just winging it. Some of us quite badly. Lucifer, he's just breaking toys. He's sowing destruction and chaos, and there is no grand purpose at work. I wish I'd never let him out, because we didn't need him, in the end. And most of all, I wish I had remembered he was the Father of Demons, before-…" he cut off, shaking his head in shame.
"It doesn't matter," she said. "It's yours."
"But how could it be?" he said, looking at her finally, with a horrible mixture of guilt and shame. "There were only – only brief moments when I was in con-…"
Suddenly, Ember let out a grunt.
"What?" asked Castiel, alarmed.
"He just – he just kicked," said Ember. "Do you want to feel him?"
"Oh, no," Castiel said, scared.
"You might as well, before you murder him," Ember said accusingly. She reached one hand out and grasped Castiel's.
Castiel was scared, but he supposed Ember was right. If perhaps it was his son, maybe this was the least he could do…
***Ember POV***
December 13th, Early Morning
As soon as Castiel touched her stomach, she felt the headache. It was the headache that came with premonitions.
She could see now, what would happen, and what she had to do.
"Cas, we're late!" she said, jumping up.
"To where?" he asked.
"The sandbox. The entrance to Heaven. It's where you're taking me, isn't it?"
Castiel gave her a shocked look. "Yes, but-…"
"Okay then," Ember said. She walked over to the truck and opened the hood.
"Ember, come back!" Castiel cried after her. "You can't be out in the open like-…"
"Put your hand here, and charge it with your angel power," Ember commanded him, pointing to the car battery.
"O… o… kay," he said, doing as she asked. With a loud roar, the truck came to life. "Where'd you learn how to do that?" asked Castiel.
Ember rolled her eyes. "I've dated Dean on and off for like, seven years," she said. "I was bound to learn something about cars." And with a smile, she grabbed the keys out of his hand and jumped in to the driver's seat.
"Okay, why are you doing this?" Castiel asked, barely managing to climb in next to her.
"Because he chose you, Castiel.," she said. "And because I know what's going to happen, now. I'm happier than I've been in a long, long time. I know now. I understand. When you put your hand on my stomach, I heard him. He spoke to me. He told me that even if it seems scary, if I just went to the gate, if I just followed your plan, that you would make sure he was born."
"Ember, you –…"
"You were going to the gate anyway, weren't you?" she asked him.
"Yes, but-…"
"I'm going in the right direction, am I not?"
"Yes, but-…"
"Then relax," Ember said, smiling at him. She felt better than she had in a lifetime. "Let's talk, Cas," she said. "How have you been these past few months?"