Author's Note: Review, review, review! Review and your choice of Dean, Cas, Sam, or Jack comes to make out with you. I don't own Supernatural.
***Jack POV***
February 18, Daytime
It had been almost two months now since Jack was born into the world. It was scary at first, and confusing. Everyone else who was as big as him knew things about the world that he hadn't had the time or opportunity to learn, because he had been born as a teenager.
The world was a scary place. Jack wasn't usually allowed out of the bunker, and he was okay with that – the bunker was scary enough. The adventures that Sam and Dean talked about were scary, and Dean himself was confusing, and every time Jack left the bunker things seemed to get complicated in ways that he never could have expected because he just didn't know things like everyone else seemed to.
Sam once said that his father had been like that too, and that made him feel better. Sam was kind, overall. Sam had been helpful. He had given Jack a video that his mother and father had made before they died. They seemed happy.
Dean was confusing, and sometimes terrifying. Jack knew that if it had been entirely up to Dean, he never would've been allowed to remain alive. He wanted to impress Dean more than almost anything, because Dean was strong and had a good heart, and he had been friends with his father, like Sam. Things had been better since Jack had saved the brothers from Asmodeus, the Prince of Hell, but Jack knew that he never would've had to save them if he hadn't been stupid enough to be fooled into following Asmodeus in the first place. This was what Dean called naïve.
If Jack turned evil, Dean would be the one to kill him – he knew that. Perhaps that was why he looked up to Dean, because he trusted Dean to take care of it if Jack couldn't be the man – the angel – that Sam and Castiel had wanted him to be.
The other inhabitants of the bunker, though around less, were no less confusing when they were actually present. Eileen, Sam's girlfriend, stayed for brief periods of time before leaving again. Jack liked her very much, and she treated him well. She reminded him of a mother at times, though perhaps that was wishful thinking. She made Sam happy, and Jack thought that he seemed softer when he was around her, more caring. He wondered if his mother and Castiel had been like that.
Of all of the bunker's residents, however, Krissy scared him the most. She was kind, like Eileen, and friendly. She only came every once in awhile on the weekends, but Jack remembered each of her visits in great detail. He found himself staring at her. He couldn't help it, and he didn't know why, and he didn't want to ask Sam, because he could sense somehow that this was a bad thing. Either way, the more he stared, the more he felt sick to his stomach. He had wondered on a couple of occasions if she was secretly a witch, but reassured himself that Sam and Dean would know if she was. Therefore, he tried to be friendly to her, just like he did with everyone else.
-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-
One week in February, Dean was called away on a case involving a family friend, Missouri Mosely. He took Krissy with him, leaving Sam and Eileen behind. Jack was jealous that Krissy got to go with Dean, but he guiltily admitted to himself that he felt glad that the person who was most likely to give him suspicious looks and narrowed eyes would be leaving the bunker for a few days.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be an absolute disaster. Sam had tried to help him by training him to control his powers, and Jack had become frustrated and snapped at the older man. "I don't want to! I can't do this! And you keep staring at me, waiting!" Sam had called a break, and the three of them had shared a meal together, hurt flashing in the older man's eyes.
Later that evening, Eileen had caught Jack brooding in his room. "Penny for your thoughts?" she'd asked.
Jack turned quizzically to face her.
"It means I'm asking what you're thinking about," she clarified.
Jack thought for a moment. "I was rude to Sam earlier," he admitted. "I am feeling bad about it."
Eileen smiled. "You know, an apology goes a long way."
Jack thought for a moment, then brightened. "That's a good idea!"
So Jack apologized to Sam, which made him feel a lot better. Afterward, he tried again to move the pencil, but it just wasn't working. Why couldn't he move the pencil? He had opened a door to Hell. He had thrown Sam and Dean across the room. He had blasted Asmodeus...
A horrible thought occurred to him. What if he only had evil powers, powers to hurt people? His mother had been half demon, so perhaps this made sense.
And then Sam found him, sulking in a corner with his dark thoughts. "I know this isn't exactly fun," Sam had begun.
"No, it's the opposite of fun," Jack agreed.
"Okay," Sam said, shaking his head. "But why is it so hard? I've seen you throw people across the room. I've been thrown across the room by you. I've seen you open a gate to Hell… and now nothing? It doesn't make any sense."
Jack couldn't stand to look in Sam's eyes. "It'd make sense… if I'm evil."
"What?" said Sam.
"Just… go, please," said Jack, not wanting to make the same mistake he had made earlier.
"No, Jack," said Sam. "Why do you think you're evil? Because when I look at you, that's not what I see."
"Yeah, well, Dean sees it," said Jack. "That's why he says… he said he'd kill me."
"He what?" Sam asked.
"And maybe he should!" Jack exclaimed. "We don't know anything about me. Nobody knows. And I am part demon, and-…" He sighed, starting over. "Mom said I could be good. That I had the choice to be good, that it was up to me. But she's dead because of me."
He looked up at Sam. "I've only been on Earth for a couple of months, and I've already hurt people. I've already done bad things. And no matter how hard I try, I can't… I can't do the one good stupid thing you want me to do. So… I must be evil. Like a demon."
Sam sighed, and finally lowered himself down to the floor to sit next to Jack. "Jack… listen. Your mother was my best friend," he said. "I knew her better than almost anyone else, except for Dean and maybe Cas. And you sound so much like her it's uncanny."
"I do?" he asked, a flutter of hope inside him.
Sam nodded. "She was always trying to control her demon side, and she was nearly always successful at it. I'm not surprised she gave you that advice on her video. She was right, you do have the choice."
"But what about-…" Jack started.
Sam cut him off. "Asmodeus tricking you… Dean… and certainly Ember and Castiel's death… None of that is your fault. I think that after everything that's happened, you're – you're probably scared to use your power. And me pressuring you surely isn't helping."
Jack looked up at the older man, a flutter of hope in his stomach. "Really?"
"Really," Sam nodded. "What do you say we call it? Until I figure out a better way. How does that sound?"
"It sounds… good," Jack agreed. "Sam… why are you being so nice to me?"
The older man appeared to consider this. "Because I know what it feels like to feel like you don't belong," he said. "To feel like there's this darkness inside of you. To be scared of who you are, and what you can do. Your mother did, too. But Dean, and Cas, and I… we all helped each other through that. So now I want to help you. Because you're not evil, Jack."
The rest of the period of Dean's absence was far more enjoyable. Sam introduced Jack to a number of movies, stating that "Ember wouldn't have wanted you to be as clueless about pop culture as your father was." Jack wasn't sure what this meant, but he enjoyed the time with Sam and Eileen. He forgot, for just a few days, about being a half-angel-half-demon, about having two dead parents, and about the scathing looks from Dean. For just three days, he was a normal teenager.
Then Dean returned. Jack had been headed for the kitchen for a late night snack when he heard Dean's voice. "How's the kid? He go dark side yet?"
Jack stopped just outside the room, listening.
"Nope," Sam said. "He's pretty messed up though."
Messed up? Sam thought he was messed up? What did that mean?
"You're telling me," Dean said.
"No, Dean, he's messed up because of you," Sam answered. This somehow made Jack feel better about how Sam thought of him, but also even more confused.
"Dean… you said you'd kill him," Sam continued.
Oh. That.
"It wasn't exactly like that," came Dean's voice.
"Then how exactly was it?"
"I told him the truth," said Dean. "See, you think you can use this freak, but I know how this ends, and it ends bad." Jack felt his heart drop at the word "freak." He had thought he and Dean had been getting along better, after Asmodeus… Apparently not. Dean thought he was a freak.
"I didn't," said Sam's voice.
"What?"
"I didn't end bad," Sam said. "When I was the freak. When I was drinking demon blood."
What? Jack thought with alarm. Sam had drank demon blood? What did that mean? When had this happened?
"C'mon, man, that's totally different," said Dean.
"Was it?" Sam asked. "Because you could've put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn't. You saved me. So help me save him." Jack felt an upswell of affection for Sam.
"You deserved to be saved. He doesn't!" Dean snapped.
"Yes he does, Dean! Of course he does! What would Ember say if she heard you say that about her son!"
"Well, we'll never know, will we!" Dean snapped. "Because she's dead! Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can opener. And that's fine. But don't act like you care about him, because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that's fine. But me? I can hardly look at the kid. 'Cause when I do, all I see is everybody we've lost."
"None of that is on Jack, Dean! Jesus, they all made choices and he wasn't even born yet!"
"Bullshit! He manipulated them, Cas and Ember both! What the hell did he do to Cas and Ember, for them to suddenly decide they wanted to throw their lives away?" Dean was screaming now, and Jack could hear his footsteps coming near. Without thinking, he teleported, finding himself once again in his bedroom.
He was so confused. Sam, on demon blood? Sam, using him to break open a door to another dimension? But Sam had defended him. "Help me save him," he'd said. "Of course he deserves to be saved," he'd said. "What would Ember say if she heard you say that about her son?" … "None of that is on Jack… he wasn't even born yet!"
But Dean hated him. "I can hardly look at the kid. 'Cause when I do, all I see is everybody we've lost!"
He wished Ember hadn't had to die. And Castiel… Castiel was supposed to have been here, to guide him. "Mother," he whispered into the night, his voice a deep pit of emotion. 'Father."
***Ember POV***
UNKNOWN – Everything is black
"Mother," someone called. Ember knew, somehow, that it was Jack. Jack was calling her. She had to wake up… but she was so, so tired…
***Jack POV***
February 22, Daytime
Jack had been shut in his room for two days. Not that he didn't spend quite a bit of time shut in his room anyway, but he usually at least tried to be social.
Now, however, he didn't know what to do. Dean hated him, and wanted him dead. Sam was kind and seemed to care about Jack, but Dean had also said that Sam was using him to open a door to another dimension. He wanted desperately to leave the bunker, but that was even more terrifying. At least here, he knew where he stood. The thought of what had almost happened with Asmodeus kept Jack in the bunker when all else failed.
In his wildest moments, it occurred to Jack that perhaps he had been wrong, that Asmodeus had been attempting to help him, to save him from Sam and Dean, and that perhaps he was on the wrong side. This didn't make any sense, though – Ember and Castiel had trusted Sam and Dean, he knew that for a fact. So he should trust them, too, despite his doubts.
Jack was in the middle of watching "Clone Wars" on his computer when Sam knocked on his door.
"Clone Wars?" Sam commented.
"The computer said I'd like it. I do like Ahsoka. Kinda hate Anakin."
"Uh… that's probably for the best," said Sam. "Never mind. Um, hey. Do you remember when I told you what Dean and I do? Our, uh, our day job?"
Jack remembered. He was pretty sure it was the truth, too. He'd heard enough conversations between the two of them to have gathered that much. "You kill monsters because you're the good guys."
"Right, right. And we've got a case, so… thought you might want to come along."
Three days ago he would've jumped at the opportunity. Today, not so much. "No," he said simply.
"Jack, I really think this would be good for you. You know, maybe a change of scenery might—…"
"Get my powers working again?" Jack said, narrowing his eyes.
"Yeah, maybe," said Sam.
Jack paused the video. "So I can be your 'interdimensional can opener'?" he said viciously. "You're using me."
Sam sighed, sitting down on Jack's bed. "Jack… when you were born, it ripped a hole in reality. Like a—like a door from this world to another, to a… a really bad, bad place. So—so Dean and Cas, and I, we—we closed that door. But… our Mom, Mary, she's trapped on the other side."
Oh. He wondered what had happened to her, and why Dean had blamed him for her death.
"If we can get your powers back, maybe we can open that door up," Sam was saying. "Maybe…"
"You wanna save her," Jack said, understanding.
"Yeah," Sam said. "Yeah, I do. But… if this doesn't work, if that can't happen, that's okay, because I do care about you. But I should've told you. I'm sorry. It's a lot and, uh…"
Jack felt minimally better. Finally, Dean and Sam's conversation made sense. Sam did care about him. His mother and Castiel had been right. But there was still the matter of Dean
"Dean can't even look at me," Jack said. "He wants to kill me."
"I won't let that happen," Sam said. "Listen, if there's one thing that Dean respects, it's effort. So come along. Help us out. Let's go be the good guys."
Jack smiled, feeling better than he had in 3 days. In all honesty, he really did want to leave the bunker, as long as he was accompanied by Sam. He had been in here too long.
***Ember POV***
TIME UNKNOWN
"Ember? Ember, wake up?"
"Mmmm…" It was Castiel's voice. Castiel, who had died…
"Cas!" she cried, her eyes flying open.
The first thing she saw was Castiel, and her face split into a wide grin. Before she had a chance to throw her arms around him, she took in her surroundings.
It was dark. Dark black, everywhere. She wasn't even sure what she was standing on, though it was solid enough. She could see Castiel clearly, but everything else was black.
Memories hit her with the force of a truck. Castiel, dying. The baby coming… a golden light, and then… nothing. I'm dead. Jack...
She looked down, and she realized suddenly that she was thin again, as she had been before the pregnancy. She grabbed Castiel's hand as though it was a lifeline. His hand felt warm, and she caught his eye. He looked as surprised as she felt. "Cas… where are we?"
"The Empty… I think."
It was too much to take in. The vastness of the black swallowed them both whole, like an endless and uncomfortable blanket. Ember could see the fear reflected in the angel's eyes as he pulled her close.
***Jack POV***
March 9
THREE WEEKS LATER
Jack learned a lot over the next few weeks. He learned about ghosts, shapeshifters, ghouls, revenants, werewolves, and vampires. He learned how to pretend to be an FBI agent, or at least one in training. He learned how to use an EMF meter. He learned that if there is a pissed off ghost in the vicinity and he can't use his powers and he doesn't have a weapon, he should get the hell out of the way. He learned how to use a gun (though he wasn't allowed to take one on hunts because he apparently "couldn't hit the broad side of a barn"). He learned how to fight, a little, which Sam said he was better at than using the gun. He learned that lying isn't a sin in certain situations if it means that people's lives end up getting saved from the monsters. He learned that Sam believed in therapy far more than Dean did, and that Dean didn't like talking about his problems. He learned that when Dean doesn't come back to the motel room at night, he shouldn't ask Sam where he is because Sam gets uncomfortable and changes the subject.
Finally, one day, his powers came back. It couldn't have been at a better time. He and Dean had been handcuffed to a fireplace by a shapeshifter, who was poised to shoot Sam the moment he walked in to save them. It was over, Jack thought. The one person who truly cared about him, the one person who wasn't afraid of him… And then he felt his powers awake. "Noooo!" he screamed, and he lashed out. The shapeshifter was thrown against the wall, and the bullet meant for Sam deviated and hit the wall next to him.
He had saved him. He was good.
That evening, Jack was getting a drink of water when Dean entered the kitchen to grab some beer. "Hey," Jack said conversationally.
"Hey," Dean said.
Suddenly, Dean walked over to him, looking somewhat uncomfortable. Jack froze. It was the first time Dean had willingly approached him.
"You did good today, Jack," Dean said, before leaving the room.
Jack's heart leapt; things were going to be okay.
He smiled as Dean left the room.