Just on the Edges...
Summary: One-shot, odd stream-of-consciousness-like thing. Josh & Donna, tie-tying. Set during The Wedding.
Disclaimer: West Wing Not Mine.
She grows tired of sitting there, watching that crazy man stare at the map as if it was going to magically tell him something it hadn't before.
She is bored. But he's obviously not going to provide her with much entertainment. And she doubts if he's noticed for a long time that she's attractive.
She sighs, and stands over the crazy map-man, hoping to at least make him look at her.
"Come with me," Donna says, the decisive tone leaving no room for argument.
He obviously has no idea what the hell is going on.
She leads Josh down a series of a hallways, to an office that is oh-so familiar, since it was his office not all too long ago. His office and their special place, where so many of the memories revolve around her. And him. And that little dance they dance.
"What's all this about?" Josh tries to make the question sound formal, like Donna's just another employee...Though his mind has been racing the minute she got him to stand. She is far from just another employee.
"Why did you drag me out here?"
The office is so dark, and she hasn't turned on any lights yet.
Is our relationship about to change?
"Your tie is a mess and so are you," is her reply, and the old Donna voice makes him smirk. She used to use it on him all the time. It always sounded to him like she was acting a little bit between mommy and wife, like she didn't know whether she was speaking to a boy or a man.
He always would be both.
"You're going to tie my tie for me?" Josh makes the voice as incredulous as he can. The real question is hidden in there, unspoken. Why would she suddenly start tying his ties for him, such a huge symbol of her days as his assistant, when he thought she wanted to put that as far behind her as possible?
Helen ties Matt's ties.
"Just this once," she answers, a little defensively, "and the tie thing was really just an excuse to get you alone."
Gulp. "Had to have me all to yourself, did you?" That question is way more hopeful than he means it to sound.
Donna ignores him and focuses on his necktie. "Doesn't your assistant know how to tie a tie?"
Good ol' misdirection. Keeps us away from that line.
"One of the many ways in which she very much pales in comparison to my old assistant."
Ah, hell. Shoot for the moon, Lyman. Go for it.
"But then, there's really no woman I can think of who doesn't." He flashes her his dimpled smile. It's been a long time since that grin came out of hiding. He doesn't smile much without her.
He hopes she really did blush, but she's too fixated on his necktie for him to tell.
Josh is fixated on her. "You look amazing tonight."
Amazing. He hasn't said that to her word since the night he should've kissed her.
Would've made it just like a movie.
"I didn't think you noticed." Donna's eyes flit to his face for the swiftest of moments. She blushes; tries not to reveal that it matters to her.
"I always notice you."
Donna has finished with the tie, but neither she nor Josh dares to move. Less than a step away.
If either one could ever dare to move forward just a little...
"You hardly look at me." She sounds hurt, but also ashamed of how she has hurt him. She's not surprised he hardly looks at her. She misses the way the way Josh used to catch her eyes on occasion while they were working, the way he used to give her a look that said he was far, far away...With her. Dreaming things they should never have dared to.
Did he really miss me everyday?
"I don't have to look at you to notice you. I've memorized you." That line is getting awfully close. "Every expression you make, every movement, every tendril of your hair, every curve of your face," When did his voice drop so low? "Every part of your body."
Panic. Panic in her blue eyes. They weren't supposed to go this far.
Josh instinctively backpedals, "Your, erm, fully-clothed body," he finishes lamely, and suddenly he's either slipping over the line again or stepping over it willingly,"not that I haven't dreamed of you naked-"
Where the hell did that line go?
Suddenly they're far beyond it, leaving that line in the dust. And are still standing.
Donna's breath catches in her throat, but she intends to restore their boundaries. "I wanted to talk to you about a few things." Her business voice. "I know I'm not your assistant anymore, or your mother, or your w-"
She stops as she notices the intense look in those brown eyes at the very thought. To say the word now might break open the boundary lines again. Something she can't risk. She's held those boundaries closed for far too long. With her own two hands.
"-but I still want you to take care yourself. You need to relax, Josh. You'll kill yourself otherwise." He knows she speaks from what she's experienced with him, but it still hardens him a little to hear it. He's never liked to be confronted with his own weakness. "You need to sleep sometimes."
That old Donna concern could really get to him sometimes. Especially when she has reason to be concerned for him.
Josh forces himself to keep from snapping. He's let some things slip lately, let some of his genuine feelings for Donna unexpectedly come through. Like when he said he missed her.
Ached for her was more like it.
"I just care a lot about you." she whispers. His heart does a leap again. "I do still consider you a friend."
And he was really hoping she was starting to let things slip, too. Dropping her guard, even just a little. But she is enforcing her boundaries, just as afraid of pain as Josh is.
But Josh was letting some feelings out...Showing her pieces of what she really meant to him...He had just crossed one hell of a line not a minute ago. Can't she do the same?
Apparently not.
Ah, well. Maybe things'll change soon. In the meantime, Josh can still get his banter.
"Promise me you'll go to bed every once in awhile?" He can't ignore the genuine concern in her voice.
He grins again, making this one night the most amount of times he's ever smiled on the Santos campaign. "Promise me you'll start helping me with that?"
His voice is mischievous, but there's a quality of seriousness to the question...It's just on the edges of banter and something else.