Disclaimer-type-thing: Don't own Shining Force. Like that's anything new. Also don't own Green Day. They're too awesome to be owned. Don't own the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Californication. I don't really care about that, though. Don't own Kill Bill. Screw it, I don't own any-fricking-thing I write about in this chapter!
A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. School has really been draining my initiative. Ok, so actually it's not mostly school. I've been having some turbulence in my personal life that I'd rather not talk about. ANYway, Demonic Weasel was the only one who cared enough to review. So he's the only one who gets any culinary delights this time around. That's right. I'm bribing you now.
Be warned that this chapter was written under the influence of repeated listening sessions of Green Day and Switchfoot.
The Powers of Light Chapter VII Maybe this Civilization Should've STAYED Lost
From Mishaela's castle the force did travel
To the land of Prompt, full of dirt and gravel;
'Twas said, that in Prompt, the Ancients still lived
On in their descendants, who were rather miffed.
However, in Prompt, the Force could not see
Any evidence of Ancients; not even me!
The people of Prompt were all stupid and dull;
They did not know a deck from a hull!
Max was nonplussed; he could not believe
The stupidity of Ancients would make him heave.
All they could talk about was food and drink;
It was as if they could not even think!
Aggrávated by the Promptian's stupidity,
The Force proceeded to Castle Liberty;
The King was rumored to not make hollow
Sounds with his head; pigs will wallow.
They talked to the king, but all for naught;
He declared them Runefaustian spies without thought!
They were led to a cell, deep in the bowels
Of the castle, where dark things growl.
They were thrown into jail, and immediately,
They searched the barred door, and ingeniously,
Boken the mysterious came rushing in!
(And before you ask, he did not have a fin!)
In reality, Boken was someone whom we know quite well;
His name starts with M and ends with X, and there is no L.
At this point, if you haven't figured it out, you are sad beyond belief;
Really, at this point, I feel for you with grief.
Anyway, at the ripe old age of thirty,
Max took a trippy ride with a birdy dirty;
The bird left him ten days later,
With the kids and bills and mortgage. Hater.
This ride was on a time machine, however,
So everything is relative, especially in this endeavor.
Anyway, the two went far, far back in time,
And I really can't make this stupid line rhyme.
They went back to the time of the Hack'n'Slash,
The time of Shining Souls. And burnt hash.
And upon the divorce, Max took some poison.
Sadly, it was from the Holy Grail of Boysen.
Therefore Max had eternal life;
And thus did it taste like a very good pie.
To distance himself from his former self,
He began calling himself Boken the Elf!
He then became a wanderer;
Helping heroes in ev'ry age; er…
I was going to say something else, but then I forgot…
So…How 'bout Eva Longoria? She's hot.
Anyway, moving back on topic,
"Boken" is today's highest hot pick
For rescuing Max from the fate
The all pretty-boys suffer in jail, as bait.
"Boken" walked in and said, "Yo, wassup,
Other me…I mean, Max! Buddy up!
Erm…What are you doing here?
Wanna go to the bar and grab a cold beer?"
Max pointed out that he was kind of trapped;
Boken said, "No problem," and twice clapped;
The warden came over, with hearts in his eyes;
Max never got over the trauma of the vice.
But hey, at least our hero was free! …Right?
Was it really all worth it? Or does right make might?
Max consoled himself with Green Day CDs;
As Boken gave random people beads.
Boken ran off using the lamest excuse;
He said, "Ummm… I'm moving to Waral, dude!
…Cause I like Fish… Ya know. I do like'em…"
And then his pants, way far up he hiked'em.
Max wandered back to the throne room
Where the king was listening to reports called Boom
From the Tower of the Ancients. Assuming
That Max had heard, they sent him moving.
Max had no clue as to what was hap'ning;
So he just wandered around napping.
Eventually he saw Jogurt running into things;
…Normalcy can be comforting, as can One Rings.
He looked at a random sign again,
Except now he could read it without wolfsbane!
It read, "Sailor Musashi is stalking you.
He is now in your HQ with cows that go moo…"
Max said, "What the eff!" quite justifiably.
He went to HQ and found Musashi angrily
Doing… acts… unspeakable acts… with a cow.
And all anyone could say was simply, "HOW!"
Max turned away and ran, having too much trauma
For one hellish day. He cried Mama.
But his Mom, being, you know, kinda dead,
Didn't respond, making him feel like a weight of lead.
So Max eventually got told his mission by Nova;
He did his business and left town and his hovel.
He and the party encountered some mech enemies
Who were no match for noisemakers or knees.
They entered the tower and found some cool stuff,
Though none of it made Max look really buff.
On the other hand, there was the Red Hot Chili Pepper
And Californication. Go White Zephyr!
They fought a battle in the highest parts of the tower,
Gaining the almighty unique Valkyrie; however,
It was soon to be mass-produced.
The Industrial Revolution was loosed.
They entered the Tower's Inner Sanctum,
But not before the Demon Master predicted their doom;
Alef and Torasu said, "YO! Whatup!
You can't beat Darksol. Now we'll shut up."
When the point that the Force was stronger,
Better equipped and had six times the people for longer,
Alef and Torasu started acting like two-year-olds.
Then they started messing with their robes' folds.
Max rolled his eyes and went farther up,
Where Darksol was drinking from an overlarge cup.
He noticed Max, and was preparing to kill,
When Kane rushed in and showed them Kill Bill.
Darksol was captivated. He killed Kane
And made Max go through a crap load of pain;
But that was mostly because Tarantino sucks;
And I'm not going to rhyme this line; I don't use that word here!
Darksol ran off and Nova's magically
Floating head popped up and did stuff drastically.
The head told Max that Alef and Torasu had
Joined them. Max groaned, and returned to being sad.
Back in Prompt, they randomly decided
To go to Metapha, where two robots hided.
Their names were Adam and Chaos, lost tech
Of the Ancients. Chaos is going to Heck.
First they got the Sword of Darkness (DUN DUN DUUUUUN!);
Then they proceeded on their way with a buuuuun.
Now that no one blocked the entrance,
They beat the heck out of it with a lance.
Proceeding through, they eventually found
The Spirit of the Spring, now weighing a pound.
Somehow, they didn't notice Adam, even though
He was standing in the middle of the room, using a hoe.
The Spirit apparently could not come back
In one of the worst plotholes that this game should lack;
The Force started to follow Adam, stopping at
Random times to look at a very pretty bat.
Then they stopped and Chaos walked in,
Ruining the perfectly dramatic scene
With his stupid "Errror… You guys suck.
Come here and die you young buck."
Chaos was pathetic, though his minions gave trouble;
They teamed up to destroy the Telescope Hubble.
The battle was over, but nothing would stopo
"DOMO ARIGATO MISTER ROBOTO!"
Max quickly killed all who chanted this mantra;
Unfortunately, that left him with only a lantern.
He resurrected the Force under the conditions
Of never singing the song again without permission.
Max returned to Metapha and merged
The Light and the Darkness, both on the verge
Of annoyance at the song by the name
(Hey! I like this song!) Macy's Day Parade.
The Chaos Breaker appeared in the middle;
But the real puzzler, the big riddle,
Was why were the Light and Darkness still there?
Shouldn't they have disappeared into thin air?
Oh well, no one cares, now do they, really?
Anyway, Max talked to the Spirit named Billy;
Wait a minute, I thought she was gone?
What the shicking frap? Where is the bon-bon?
He returned to the Castle and got some
Useless information about the state of rum.
Then they prepared for the final assault
On Precinct Thirteen! And maybe the pole vault.
As they left Prompt, with the Promptians no longer
Acting stupid (although Max did not notice due to hunger),
They encountered Runefaust's hastily mobilized
Defense Force, completely randomized.
The Force kicked their weak butts with the greatest of ease,
Those dashing young warriors on the flying trapeze!
The Armed Skeletons were kind of a pain,
But their days as top dogs were beginning to wane!
The Force busted down the gate of the sister
City of Guardiana: blistered
Protectora, now known as Runefaust;
They ended up bringing down the house.
But now I'm getting ahead of myself, as you can see,
So I digress, and go to kill children wee.
Hope you had fun with this story, for it
Will soon end, in just a little bit.
A/N: …Yeah, just review the stupid chapter already. Cause I just spent about five hours straight writing this thing. We're about finished! Yay! I'm going to turn this into a series, for your information. Next will be The Powers of Light II: Clubbing Ancient Baby Seals, followed by The Powers of Light 1.5: Conflict Occurring Somewhere in the Middle, and maybe The Powers of Light CD (working title). Hope you enjoy having your expectations being crushed by long waiting times in between.