Author's Note: I probably need to stop being such a perfectionist and updating every week. I work 50 hours a week and I'm going to be starting school soon AGAIN. But, I am how I am.

I wanted to zone in more on Cas' feelings about Nick, and how Ember would feel having Nick in the house. Not that I like Nick, though I don't dislike him either.

Read and review please, your reviews are like fuel. Or cereal. Which is basically the same thing.

I don't own Supernatural.

***Castiel POV***

July 19

TWO WEEKS LATER

Finally, a truly useful lead on Dean had come to light. Anael the angel had called to say that Michael was in Duluth, and a group of hunters had made preparations to attempt to retrieve him. There wasn't exactly what you would call a "good plan" for retrieval, however. The Newton-Dee Hyperbolic Pulse Generator, which they'd previously used to kick Lucifer out of the President, was lost, and the best hope they had was a surprise attack using angel cuffs and spellwork.

Since everything relied on surprise, and both Castiel's angelic presence and Ember's half-demon scent would be more than familiar to their extremely powerful foe, both Ember and Castiel were unable to join the rest of the rescue mission.

"And you need me to stay here and babysit Nick and Jack," Castiel pointed out to Sam. The entirety of the bunker aside from Castiel, Ember, Nick, and Jack was gathered around the table in the War Room, going through weapons and supplies.

"It's not babysitting, Cas," Sam pointed out.

"Only in the sense that they're not infants, but they both have to be supervised. Jack is lost without his grace, and Nick is...he's just a mess."

"Well, it-it's not his fault," Sam said defensively. "Cas, Nick was housing, you know. He deserves a shot at rebuilding his life."

"And yet every time I look at him, all I can see is the supreme agent of evil," Castiel said, feeling defeated.

"How did you do it?" Castiel asked Ember later that night. Ember and Castiel were spending the night in the bunker. Ember had taken over the job of monitoring the computers in case any hunter currently out on a mission phoned in for help, and Castiel already spent the better part of most nights at the bunker after Ember went to sleep since it was the hub of current information.

"Do what?" Ember said sleepily.

"Look at me again… after Lucifer possessed me. Didn't it remind you of… him?"

Ember fixed him with a thoughtful look. "Not really. Your grace is different. And your eyes, and your face, and… everything. It did a bit, I guess, but…" Ember sighed. "I separated who he was, and what he did, in my head, because… Because I had to. But also because I love you."

Castiel sighed. "Nick knows I can barely look at him, and it's only making things worse. And… he doesn't remember. He doesn't remember why he said yes to the possession."

"His family was murdered," Ember said. "You… you haven't reminded him?"

Castiel didn't meet her eye. "I hoped he would get better before we discussed it," he admitted. But he's depressed and he's… he just feels not right. I don't want to read his mind, because it would only make him distrust and resent me more. But something has to be done. He's getting worse, not better."

Ember fixed Castiel with a stare. "You can't make him comfortable, Castiel. You can't baby him. He knows he's being lied to."

She sighed, linking her leg around his in the bed. "I told you I was fine to see him for counseling. If you don't like it, we can do it together."

"He's not safe," said Castiel. The original fear that had flared within him at the thought of Ember getting close to Nick still caused him anxiety, and he still hated the idea. But three weeks had gone by since Nick had awakened, and the only thing he'd done was mope, read books, and lament that he couldn't understand why he'd agreed to possession.

"He won't be safer until he gets out of that room and gets to talk to people," she replied, and Castiel begrudgingly admitted that she was right. "Most people are gone for the weekend, so it's the perfect time. We need to take the Band-Aid off before it gets worse, Cas," she insisted.

"Fine," he said, his lips against the skin of her neck. It was these moments when he was happiest, and he was tired of the conversation marring what otherwise would be a happy moment. "Together."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

The next day, Castiel took Ember with him to visit Nick. He still desperately didn't want Ember to see Nick at all, but he had begun to wonder if this was truly an effort to protect her, or because of his own residual guilt.

Nick's eyes widened when he saw Ember, and Castiel saw his nostrils flare slightly. Afterward, he simply looked sad. "I brought you some nourishment," Castiel said frankly. "Now that he's gone, you must remember to eat." Castiel set the tray down between Nick and where Ember had made herself comfortable, his back to Nick.

"Right," said Nick. He sighed, and Castiel could feel the other man's eyes boring into him. "I'm not him, Castiel."

It was Castiel's turn to sigh. "I know," he said. He remembered Lucifer taking Jack's grace… remembered what it was like when he was possessed by Lucifer…

"But you still can't look at me," said Nick.

"It's difficult," said Castiel, turning to face the other man finally. "You don't remember all the things you did in his thrall, but I do."

"I know," said Nick.

Castiel changed the subject and gestured to Ember. "Nick, do you know who this is?"

Nick nodded, his face embarrassed and resigned. "He wanted her… he wanted her very much."

Castiel could see Ember stiffen, but he didn't think the other man had noticed. He took a small step closer to her.

"Do you know what I do when I'm not fighting monsters?" Ember asked with a slight smile. "My day job, I mean."

Nick looked genuinely stunned. "You have a… day job?"

Ember rolled her eyes. "I'm a therapist."

Nick's face registered mild shock, then irritation, then resignation. "I suppose that's probably needed."

"You've been dead and/or a vessel for just under ten years," said Ember with a smile. "I should think so."

Castiel began to relax.

Ember and Nick talked for about twenty minutes. Ember was right – Nick's mannerisms were different than Lucifer's – less assuming, less intimidating.

Just when Castiel was beginning to become comfortable, Nick said, "I just don't - I don't...get it. I don't understand why I would do something like that. I don't get how I would let Lucifer possess me."

"You were in a lot of pain," said Castiel. "Lucifer saw vulnerability, and he exploited it."

"Not just that, but you were probably noted to be a strong vessel, for some reason," said Ember. "It's all down to bloodlines, but some people can house an angel for longer than others. Some people can't house an angel without exploding on the spot, while others can house angels for years with very little damage."

"It's all… bloodlines?" Nick said slowly.

Ember nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry. The reason you were chosen wasn't personal."

"But I would've had to agree… Lucifer needed my consent," he protested. "I just don't know what kind of pain would make me allow Lucifer to possess me."

Ember took another look at Castiel. "You were right, he's repressing it. He'll figure it out eventually… we have to talk about it here, before we decide if he can ever be released."

Castiel gave an imperceptible nod.

"Nick, it was… your family," Ember said softly. "I'm sorry."

"My… family?" Nick said slowly. Then recognition seemed to awake in his eyes. "Sarah and Teddy?"

Ember and Castiel both nodded, but Nick already seemed mentally absent. Fear shone all over his face, suddenly, and Castiel could tell that Nick was remembering whatever it was he had forgotten. He began to sway on the spot, curling into himself. "Oh my god," he cried. "Who could do that? Who could do that?"

Ember moved closer to Nick, and Castiel gave her a warning look.

"A man broke in to your house, and you weren't there," Castiel explained gently.

Nick was crying now, his hands over his eyes as he remembered. "That was no man. That's not man. That's a monster!" Ember narrowed her eyes at Castiel, and determinedly moved past him to put her hand lightly on Nick's shoulder.

Nick ignored her touch, continuing to cry. "It's a monster, and then Lucifer found me and made me a monster, too. Oh my god!"

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

It had taken over an hour to calm Nick down. Eventually, Ember had suggested that Nick look into his family's murder. "I hope it'll give him purpose, or some sort of closure," Ember said. "At the very least, it should give him some kind of direction."

It certainly did give Nick purpose. Ember and Castiel watched interestedly as Nick spent his first day not confined to the bunker dungeon-turned-infirmary researching and ranting about his family's murder.

"Nothing!" he complained. "Nothing! There's nothing. There's no information. There's no mention of my wife and son past the year they were...when they died. There's - there's nothing about the case being solved. Nothing!"

"I'm sorry," said Ember. "I - I didn't know that."

"If I were around, I would have been on those cops every single day, Ember. But I was out of my head with grief. I said yes to Lucifer. I was a coward, and now - …"

It was Castiel, this time, that moved to put a hand on Nick's shoulder, sensing that Ember would do so if he didn't.

Nick surged up and snapped his fingers in Castiel's face. "Don't."

Castiel and Ember both looked at each other with alarm; the gesture had been so reminiscent of Lucifer's kill strike. Even Nick looked down at his hand, surprised.

It was Castiel who broke the silence. "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" asked Nick, still looking stunned.

"What went through your head just now?" asked Ember gently.

"Um, I don't know? Nothing?" said Nick, apparently a mixture of scared and irritated. "What are you trying to get at?"

"Even though he's departed, there may be some of his influence still within you," said Castiel slowly. "Just-…" Castiel reached out slowly to touch Nick, trying to read his mind.

"I don't have time for this," said Nick, irritated. "I'm not letting this go, Castiel. I'm gonna find out who killed my family." And he turned and stormed away.

"Nick!" Castiel called after him. "And then what?"

"Let him go," Ember said, putting a hand on his arm. Her touch instantly calmed him. "He needs answers. What did you see in his mind?"

"Nothing," Castiel answered. "Only pain and determination. Nothing… evil."

"We'll keep an eye on him," said Ember.

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

That afternoon, Ember had a couple of appointments with clients, though she resolved to check on Nick that evening. Sam (as well as Bobby, Mary, Krissy, Jo, Claire, and Eileen) still hadn't returned from Duluth, though they had called to say that the lead was solid and Michael had definitely been there. Reportedly Michael had been experimenting on vampires, which made no sense to either Castiel or Ember.

Castiel was researching vampire experiments when Nick burst angrily into the bunker library once again. "Do you know what a cold case is, Castiel?"

"It's -…"

"It's a case too unimportant for anybody to care about," Nick interjected. "My wife and son are dead. Gone. Forever. My life is gone with them, and, uh, nobody cares. These cops don't care."

"I'm sorry, that sounds very difficult," said Castiel, completely out of his depth.

"Difficult," said Nick sarcastically. "Yeah, you know what's difficult? No evidence. There's no fingerprints, there's no DNA. I mean how does that even happen? I mean, there was a witness who came forward and said they saw someone coming out of the house, and then they said they didn't see anything at all, and the case died. Like everything else."

What would Ember say? Castiel wished she were here, instead of with clients. Or maybe Sam, who had also been possessed by Lucifer. He had been possessed by Lucifer, too, of course, but it was different, because he was also possessing the body of Jimmy Novak. Jimmy Novak, who had died. At least Nick had lived past his possession… "Nick - you, on the other hand, you've been given a second chance. You're not dead."

"You don't understand," snapped Nick.

A flare of indignation hit Castiel when he thought of Jimmy. At least Nick had lived... "Oh, I do," said Castiel.

"Why, because your body was stolen?"

"Because I am occupying someone else's," Castiel explained. "All angels have to, in order to walk the earth. This...this was Jimmy Novak."

'"Occupy,"' said Nick, sounding out the word. "It sounds like a 'cleaned up' way of staying 'steal.' And Jimmy? Is that his name? Is he all right with that?" Nick was moving closer to Castiel, but Castiel stood his ground.

"Yes, he was," he answered solemnly.

"Was," echoed Nick flatly.

"Jimmy's dead," said Castiel.

Nick's eyes blazed as he moved closer to Castiel. "Castiel, you're just a stone cold body snatcher. You're no different than Lucifer."

Hurt flared through Castiel, and he turned away from Nick, once more unable to look at him. "I need to look in on Jack," he said. It was a poor excuse, and he knew it. Before he reached the door, however, he stopped. "You know, in all my thousands of years, what happened to Jimmy Novak and his family are my greatest regret."

-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-SPN-

"He's right," Castiel said later to Ember. "In that way, myself and Lucifer are the same."

Ember shook her head. "Cas, you have to stop beating yourself up for Jimmy. He's in Heaven, with Amelia. He's safe. And he gave consent. You never meant for him to die. He died so that thousands could live."

He buried his face in her hair, smelling the addicting smell that smelled like demon, like attraction, but also like home. "I love that you think so well of me," he said sadly.

The following day, however, Nick was gone. He had left a note saying that he had some "personal business to attend to."

"Do you think he was ready to leave?" asked Castiel.

"Not really," said Ember. "To be honest it never occurred to me that he would leave. He has everything he needs here, especially if he's looking for answers about his family. But maybe he's looking for answers closer to where the murder happened." She sighed. "He's not not ready, I suppose."

Castiel could tell Ember was worried about Nick, and he pulled her closer in reassurance. They had both done their best, far more than anyone could expect of them. Castiel hadn't sensed any innate evil in Nick when he had sifted through his mind, but that didn't mean it didn't exist. But no matter – if Nick became an issue, they would put him down, just like they had Lucifer.