Late for Breakfast
It was a brand new day in Aurora Falls. Lindsay Siskin was waking up. The odd instruments in her room attempted to wake her up. The violin broke, landed on her poodle Honey Boo-Boo, startled the poodle out of bed, and made her spiky hair wake Lindsay up.
"Aaaah!" screamed Lindsay.
She fell from her ceiling bed, got dressed out of her pink silk robe and bunny slippers, and put on her normal clothes with her machine in under 5 seconds.
"The best way out of bed is a spiky poodle on your head."
She removed Honey from her head.
"Who's the best pet poodle in the whole world? You are, Honey Boo-Boo. Give us a kiss!" said Lindsay.
She kissed Honey, but forgot that she had spiky fur, and left lots of thorns on her mouth.
"Ouch. Love hurts. Well, off you go little girl."
She let go of Honey, and went to her special teddy bear dresser.
"Of course, you have to remember to brush every morning."
She used her electric toothbrush and toothpaste on her eyes with a cherry on top.
"Keeping my eyes minty fresh!"
When she finished, she got the cherry and gave it to Honey Boo-Boo, who chowed it down with her sharp teeth.
"Ha-ha. Gross."
She then looked at her silly watch, which told her something important.
"Uh-oh! It's almost time for my show! I'd better get Marie."
She then went out her door, but the house's knight Aristotle started charging toward her, making her quickly shut the door.
"Whoops. Wrong door. Now where was that door? Hmm... There it is!"
She then opened the door for her six-year old sister Marie. Her sister had pink (dyed) hair, wore a pink dress and a purple skirt, a red bow, blue light-up shoes, and wore pink glasses.
"Where you going? Show is this way!" said Marie. She then placed her eight-year old sister in front of the curtain. "Knock 'em dead, sis!"
She then got to her announcing job.
"And now, it's The Lindsay Show with your host, Lindsay Siskin!"
Marie then rolled up the curtain. Honey Boo-Boo cheered on for Lindsay, giving her enough energy to sing the theme song.
"Ohhh..." She then hit her floating toilet, slid down, and fell into a tiki head.
(Note: Songs are italicized form.)
I can do anything, 'cause I know nothing
Lack of experience never stopped me
I got a TV show, though I'm just bluffing
Make believe you're watching and I know you'll agree
Mr. McLain then walked by, and disgusted by Lindsay snow angeling with her backside showing, he ran away.
The Lindsay Show is all my imagination
Because my head is empty, I can fill it with CHEESE!
Ice cream with syrup, and monkeys and bloopers
There's one thing I can't find and that is my...KEYS?!
"Hey, Lindsay! What's today's show gonna be about?" Marie announced.
Lindsay was too hungry to think about what today's show was gonna be about.
"I don't know. I'm hungry." said Lindsay.
"We'll be right back with Lindsay Siskin and "I'm Hungry", right after these words."
Marie then put a VHS tape in a small projector, rolling an ad for the infamous restaurant, Chef's Chum.
Chef's chum, chum, chum
"Welcome to Chef's Chum! Our chum is versatile. You can spread it on toast with our Avo-chum dip." The dip however caused the toast to melt. "It also keeps you warm on frosty winter night. Mmm, cozy. The smell keeps out the cold." However, the smell also caused Chef to throw up. The dining room was covered with chum, but it had cardboard cutouts of customers. "Here at Chef's Chum, chum comes in three delicious varieties. Moist, soggy, and pumpkin spice. So, come to Chef's Chum today!"
said Chef in the ad.
Chef's chum, where chum is your chum!
Lindsay was still very hungry after the sponsor.
"That reminds me: Breakfast! In this family, you gotta be fast or the food's all gone. Let's go backstage." When she opened her door, it became somewhat of a black hole and started sucking up all of Lindsay's stuff, so she quickly shut the door. "Wrong door again?!"
She then shook her door, and it opened to lead into her hallway this time. She then went to the kitchen on a zipline for today's breakfast: pancakes!
"Leedle-leedle-leedle-leedle-leedle!" She then fell off the zipline.
"Morning, Mom. Good morning, Dad." She and him then shared a head shock. She then walked over to her grandmother.
"Mom, Dad, who's this lady?" Lindsay asked her parents.
"I have no idea. Do you, Dwayne?" Kelly asked Dwayne.
"So you can see him too, Kelly? Huh, I thought I was the only one." Dwayne told Kelly.
"I'm your grandmother, Grammy! Must we do this every morning?!" Grammy angrily asked.
"Just play along. She could be dangerous." Lindsay whispered to her parents. She then walked over to Marie, who was on a phone call.
"Hey sis, what ya up to?"
"Well, right now, I'm trying to book an imaginary app for your imaginary TV show." said Marie.
"Well, how's it going?" asked Lindsay.
"They said their imaginary people are gonna call my imaginary people."
Lindsay was happy, and sat down for breakfast.
"As they say in France, bone applefeet!" said Lindsay.
However, there were none of Kelly's famous blueberry pancakes left for her.
"All done." said Dwayne.
They all then dropped their dishes outside, and rolled up the window.
"Darn. Looks like I'll be on time for work again." said Dwayne.
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear." Kelly said.
Dwayne, Kelly, and Marie hopped onto Grammy's scooter, and then drived to Dwayne's job.
"Hey, what about my breakfast? Well, I guess I'll just have to break my own fast."
She then opened the refrigerator door, but then the knight started to charge towards her. She quickly shut the door.
"I think the milk went bad."
She then looked under the table and saw her mini neighbors having breakfast.
"Hey, it's the Miniman family!" said Lindsay.
"Good morning, Lindsay. Would you like to join us for our sad and meager breakfast?" asked Mr. Miniman.
"Well, I..."
Lindsay was about to say yes, but the Minimans appeared to be sad.
"No, I guess not." said Lindsay.
"All right, then." said Mr. Miniman.
The Minimans then chowed down their crumbs, and then went back to their minihome. Meanwhile, Lindsay was still searching for something to eat.
"Food! Here, foody-food! Hello? Food!" She then looked under the carpet to find a mini-city of wonder. "Ew! Mom's gotta vacuum under there more often."
She then went to Grammy's room, and checked under her rock bed for food. Then, Grammy came in.
"Hey! What are you doing in my room?" Grammy angrily asked.
"Duh, looking for food. I'm starving!" Lindsay complained.
"Food? Ha, bah, you kids have it easy these days. Back in my day, we WERE food!" said Grammy.
"Ooh. What flavor?" asked Lindsay.
"Hush, noodlebrain." said Grammy.
"Noodles." said Lindsay.
"I wrote about it in my first autobiography, A Cavewoman's Life. It took place all the way back in the Lindsolithic period of early cavewomen. Automobiles hadn't been invented yet, so there was no way to get to a supermarket. We had to do all of our shopping in the wild. Where the dinosaurs were shopping for US! It was just a matter of luck as to who would eat who. And if you thought things couldn't get worse, they would get worse once the Heathersaurus Rex played her flute. Thus, cavewomen provided nutrition to the dinosaurs. And that's why dinosaurs are still with us today." Grammy explained from her autobiography.
Lindsay then looked out the window. She saw the mailgirl Heather playing her clarinet when suddenly the Heathersaurus Rex ate her.
"That reminds me, I'm hungry." Lindsay said.
She thought about it, and got a great idea.
"I know! I'll do a cooking segment on my show, and I'll make myself something to eat." said Lindsay.
She then hopped through the floor for her cooking segment, Cooking with Chef Lindsay.
"Welcome back to the show and to our new segment, Cooking with Chef Lindsay. Today, you will be learning how to make a casserole." said Lindsay.
Honey Boo-Boo cheered for this idea.
"Well, let's see. To make a casserole, you need: two pairs of socks, five dirty sneakers, one and a half cups of dried leaves, old paperbacks by Charles Dickens, and used napkins?!" Lindsay said.
Lindsay did not want to use yucky napkins in the casserole.
"Eh, you gotta work with what ya got." Marie told her sister.
Lindsay put the used napkins into the casserole, and put it into the oven.
"Cook it at 1,000 degrees at one second. After one second, it's ready!" said Lindsay.
She, Marie, and Honey Boo-Boo put on some fire protection clothes while Lindsay took it out of the oven. The casserole was completely burned to a crisp. The raspberry clock told Marie that it was time to end the show.
"Time to wrap it up!" Marie said, and then pressed the "End Credits" button.
"The story, characters and names portrayed in this production are suspicious, especially mine. No person associated with this show received anything of value, especially me. No person was harmed in the making of this show, except me. Ouch. Thanks for watching!" Lindsay finished talking, and Marie then rolled down the curtains. Marie and Honey Boo-Boo congratulated Lindsay.
"That was amazing! The song, the trash-erole, the hula number with the cast of thousands!" Marie listed.
"Hi, hula dancers! Bye, hula dancers! I don't remember that at all." Lindsay said.
"I don't know how you do it, Lindsay." Marie told her sister.
"I don't know what I do it, Marie." Lindsay told her sister.
"I bet you've worked up an appetite." Marie said.
This made Lindsay realize... it was DINNERTIME!
"Dinner!" Lindsay said excitedly. But no one was there. "Aw, I missed food again!"
She then looked under the table to find that the Minimans were having dinner themselves.
"Hello, Lindsay. We're just having dinner. One piece of crumb for each of us. Here you go, Teensy Tim. Now you won't starve." said Mr. Miniman.
Teensy wasn't that hungry, so he offered Lindsay his crumb, but she let Tim eat it. Suddenly, the oven bell dinged.
"Oh, dinner?" Lindsay said.
She then sat down at the table with Dwayne, Marie, and Grammy. Kelly brought over a new non-burnt recipe: Lindsay's trash-erole.
"Here we are! It's called a trash-erole. I learned it from Lindsay's show." Kelly said, and then sat down to eat.
"I must have cooked mine too long." Lindsay said.
"Bone applefeet, everybody!" Kelly said.
The family then dug into the casserole and ate it in under 30 seconds.
"Mm, ah, delicious, Mom." Lindsay said.
"Get this, guys! I just booked Lindsay's friend Miles who does a bubble animal act! And the best part is I did it on my toy telephone!" Marie told her family.
The phone then let out a "moo", and everybody (minus Grammy) had a little laugh. Later that night, after Marie and Lindsay took their baths and brushed their teeth, it was time for bed.
"Goodnight, Marie!" Lindsay told her little sister.
"Goodnight, big sister!" Marie told her older sister.
Meanwhile, Lindsay went to her room to say goodnight to her poodle.
"Goodnight, Honey Boo-Boo. Ouch." Lindsay told her poodle.
She then jumped into her ceiling bed, and used her machine to get her into her PJs. While Lindsay was sleeping, Dwayne and Kelly went to come check on her.
"Would you just look at her, Kelly? The little angel." Dwayne said.
"She sure is." Kelly said.
"Um, who is she again?" Dwayne asked.
"I have no idea." Kelly said.
Lindsay then kept snoozing, dreaming about what would be for breakfast tomorrow.