Today was supposed to be perfect, Phoenix thought morosely.
It had started off well enough, Maya by his side and Franziska opposite, and Trucy scattering confetti and petals down the aisle. "We are gathered here today to share in the marriage of Mr. Miles Edgeworth and Mr. Phoenix Wright," the judge solemnly announced.
I knew I shouldn't have invited the Paynes, Miles berated himself.
It was a day out of his earliest dreams: himself and his lifelong love, their teary-eyed friends, the ceremony, the simple and tasteful rings, the speeches. Picture-perfect until the judge tried to say, "I now pronounce the grooms, Mr. Miles Edgeworth and Mr. Phoenix Wright. . . ."
"Objection!"
Phoenix gasped, stepping back and flinching.
Miles gasped, hunching over and scowling.
Trucy gasped, her hand flying delicately to her mouth.
The judge gasped, his eyes growing wide.
"Your honor! The marriage applicant, Mr. Phoenix Wright, is not a person," Winston Payne declared. He pulled out a document and read it out to the court. "According to the marriage code of Japanifornia, section 300, paragraph (a), marriage is a personal relation arising out of a civil contract between two persons. The operative word here is persons. As Mr. Wright is an android, he is ineligible to marry."
"My goodness!" The judge exclaimed.
"Nghoooh!" Miles sputtered.
"How can this be happening?" Phoenix cried, tugging at his hair.
The gallery filled with rustling chatter.
"Order! Order I say!" The judge yelled, slamming his gavel twice. "Mr. Wright! Is the accusation true?"
"I-Yes, your honor," Phoenix said, with sweat drops streaming down his face.
"Then there is no further room for doubt. The court finds that the applicant, Mr. Phoenix Wright. . . ."
"Objection!"
This time, it was Miles's baritone that rang in the courtroom. The judge flinched back a second time.
"Miles?" Phoenix breathed, looking up hopefully at his would-be groom.
The prosecutor himself stood with his arms crossed, wearing a condescending smirk. "The code does not require Mr. Wright to be a human, otherwise known as a natural person, your honor. Mr. Wright simply has to qualify as a person."
"I don't understand," the judge said.
"A person is defined as a legal entity who can enter into contracts." Miles waved a condescending finger at the court. "The prosecution moves to declare Mr. Phoenix Wright a juridical person."
"You. . . you can't!" Payne gasped.
The noise from the gallery was deafening now.
"Order! Order! Mr. Payne, Mr. Edgeworth, you will research further into the juridical personhood of Mr. Wright. This ends the day's proceedings in the marriage of Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Wright. Court is adjourned!
- O -
Author's notes: I am not actually versed in marriage law, either Californian or Japanese. Any inaccuracies are. . . due to the Japanifornia's fictional legal system lol.