Author's note: I just thought it would be more convenient if I post them as chapters instead of individual stories.
Too Much Bending
Summary: Harry and Ron were looking for Hermione. So where have they found her? In a room with Draco Malfoy, of course.
They couldn't find her. They looked practically everywhere, turned the library upside down, searched almost every nook and cranny, but they still couldn't find her. It was not like Hermione Granger to miss breakfast and lunch. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley were awfully worried about their female best friend.
Suddenly, Harry remembered the Marauder's Map. Quickly scanning the tiny dots scattering throughout the map, Harry ran across Hermione's name. It said she was in her room, but he and Ron stood outside the portrait yelling her name for a good five minutes half an hour ago and then decided that she was not in there.
They half-ran to the Heads Common Room again. Harry raised his hand to knock on the portrait, but suddenly halted when he heard voices through the portrait. He heard Hermione's voice and there was someone else. He looked down at map and growled.
Malfoy was with her.
Harry exchanged a worried glance with Ron. He hoped Malfoy wasn't doing anything to her. If he was, he and Ron would beat the hell out of the Slytherin git ten times over.
"Should we knock?" Ron asked him.
Harry shook his head. Maybe they should find out what Hermione and Malfoy are actually doing before they jump to any conclusions. He and Ron had the tendency to do so lately. After all, Hermione had managed to warm up to Malfoy since they were both Head Boy and Head Girl.
"Granger, you're going to have to sit down to do it. It won't be good for you if you lay down. You'll have a stomachache." Harry heard Malfoy say and wondered what on earth he could possibly be talking about. He motioned for Ron to listen.
"Oh fine." Hermione said. "This better good as you say it is."
Harry heard there were some shifting around in there and the sound of a zipper being opened.
"It's getting hot in here, isn't it Granger?" Harry heard Malfoy remarked.
He told himself not jump to any conclusions. Ron looked at him with a curious look and Harry merely shrugged his shoulders.
"Malfoy!" Harry heard Hermione exclaimed after a moment of silence. "It's so tiny and slender!"
"What? There's nothing wrong with it." Malfoy sounded affronted. "I find it a suitable size."
Harry was getting more worried by the second. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't jump to conclusions. He kept telling himself.
"How is everything going to go through if it's so small? Won't it get jammed or something?" Hermione asked.
"Oh, you're so stupid Granger. You should know its expandable when it's filled and loaded." Malfoy said. "Gets to be four times bigger." He added proudly.
"Oh." It was all Hermione said.
"See, I'll explain it like this. Wizard devices are just the same as muggle devices. You just go slowly and the ridges will help bend it in a more suitable angle for you." Malfoy said. "But don't it so much you break it. This is precious equipment, Granger."
The only thought that crossed Harry's head was: What the fuck?
By the look on Ron's face, it was clear he had the same thought.
"You know, wizard equipment just looks the same as Muggle's." Hermione said.
Just then, Neville walked by. Curious, he stopped to ask Harry and Ron what they were doing. They both told him to hush.
"Of course not." Harry could imagine a scowl on Malfoy's face by his tone. "Wizards are better and they are always bigger than Muggles. It's in our blood for developing things."
Neville looked at Harry with perplexed eyes. Harry shrugged in return.
There was a rustle.
"Granger, what are you doing?"
"I'm cleaning it, what do you think I'm doing?" Hermione said.
"But I already washed it! It's clean, woman!"
"But if I'm going to put it in my mouth, I'm making sure it's clean." Hermione said with utmost determination.
Harry and Ron tried to calm Neville down as he started to hyperventilate.
"Don't you trust me?" They heard Malfoy asked somewhat sarcastically.
"You're Malfoy, so no."
Malfoy sighed and said, "Are you done cleaning it yet?"
"Yes."
There was a moment of silence. Harry almost died in anxiety waiting for something to happen.
…Silence…
Harry begun to sweat, Ron was fidgeting his fingers, and Neville was on the verge of getting a heatstroke even though it was in the middle of winter.
…More silence…
Beads of sweat rolled down Harry's forehead. Ron bit his nails nervously and Neville was fanning himself.
…Some more silence…
"Merlin, this is so tasty!" Hermione exclaimed suddenly, causing the three eavesdroppers to jump. "I'm surprised."
She let out a moan. "I didn't know you could make something so tasty Malfoy."
Neville fainted. It was all too much for the poor boy to handle.
"It's in the Malfoy blood, Granger." Malfoy said smugly. "We have skills."
Harry strained to listen. It sounded like Hermione was taking huge gulps. His stomach was doing huge flops. Merlin, what the hell was Hermione doing? He hoped she was not doing what he thought she was doing. Images filled his mind of Hermione and Malfoy… He shuddered violently, shaking away the forbidden thoughts. He looked at Ron, hoping for some sort of doubt that Hermione was not…
However, Ron did not provide any support for Harry's doubt. Instead, he looked like he was about to let his dinner go back up again.
"Granger, stop bending it so much. Merlin, woman! I know you're enjoying yourself, but calm down." Malfoy yelled. "Didn't I tell you its precious?"
"Sorry, but this is addicting." Hermione moaned again.
Harry and Ron could not tear themselves away from the conversion. Looking for some sort of distraction, but still be able to hear, they attempted to revive the fallen Neville.
"My father gave me this gift; I want to keep it Granger." Malfoy said.
"Has any other girls used it?" Hermione asked.
"Of course. Why have the equipment and not let the other girls also enjoy the pleasure?"
"If I would be able to have it…"
"I don't think you can Granger… It would not be possible for you to detach it from me."
"Yeah shame, too bad Harry and Ron don't have one."
Harry and Ron dropped Neville on the floor out of surprise, causing the boy to knock his head on the floor and be unconscious once again.
Harry's and Ron's mouths dropped to the floor. Did Hermione just say that they did not have one? Of course they have one! Probably bigger than Malfoy's, that's for sure!
"Granger, what did I tell you about bending it?" Malfoy said. "You cannot abuse it!"
"Sorry."
"Wipe your mouth, Granger. You have white stuff all around your lips."
Hermione giggled. "I hope this stuff isn't fattening."
"I made it, so it isn't." Malfoy said. Suddenly, his voice was louder. "All right, that's it! You're not using it anymore. You're bending it too much. Granger, get your mouth away from it!"
"But I need to bend it a lot so more can come through."
"Granger!"
Harry could not take it anymore. He had to stop it—Merlin, he just had to! His best friend and his arch rival? He cannot let it go one any longer!
Not bothering to say the password, he and Ron demanded the portrait swing open. The picture of the mermaid refused, but after threatening it would become Christmas firewood, the portrait swung open. Harry and Ron barged in, stopping Hermione and Malfoy midst of their act.
Malfoy was standing up and Hermione was sitting down.
"Hermione, stop! Stop doing it!" Ron screamed, pushing Malfoy out of the way.
"Please, Hermione, please stop pleasuring Malfoy!" Harry said.
Hermione looked at him, confused. Harry and Ron's eyes fell to her hands. She was holding a glass filled with a white gooey substance.
Damn, Harry couldn't help but thought. Did Malfoy really make that much?
"What are you guys doing?" Hermione demanded.
"Stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your life." Harry said.
"And what would that be? Drinking a milkshake?"
"Yes, Drinking a Malfoy—huh, what?" Harry looked at her dumbly. "A milkshake?"
"Yes," Hermione said, holding up her glass.
"Then what were you sucking on?" Ron asked bluntly.
"This straw?"
"Huh?"
"Dumbarse, it's a wizard straw. It's almost the same as a muggle straw, but only smaller and able to expand so more liquid will flow through. Plus, it enhances the taste of whatever you're drinking." Malfoy said, giving Harry and Ron a weird look. "What did you think it was?"
What did I think you were doing—is the question. Harry thought.
"Um… nothing." Ron said stupidly. "Sorry to disturb you."
"I forgive you," Malfoy said with a smug. "After all, Weasley, these straws are expensive. Your family would not be able to afford one."
Ron's ears were flaming red, but Harry kept him from launching at Malfoy.
"We're going to leave now…" Together, Harry and Ron walked out of the room, shameful of themselves. Hermione remained behind, drinking a vanilla milkshake with Draco Malfoy's magical drinking straw.
"So Granger, was that a pleasurable experience for you?"
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