Chapter Seven

Captured

(A/N - Trigger Waring; Implied and alluded to: Rape)

I was sore and could feel the stinging of fresh cuts. I couldn't call to my magic either. Sure, I could feel the Dovah in me roaring to go, but my Azeroth magics were a bust at the moment… as well as the actual magics from Skyrim.

I groaned as I sat up and looked down. I had been cut, sliced and gouged by something big. My clothes were in tatters though only my pants were missing… I knew what that meant, but honestly since I wasn't sure who did the deed, revenge wasn't forefront in my head – survival was.

I heard Cullen ask, "Are you alright? I saw what they… did to you."

I blinked at him and said, "Well… okay. You're far more cut up than the last time I was here… where is your armor?" I admit, my gaze was greedy as I took in this half naked man. He was just as cute as before, but he was hardened now. His gold hair was rumpled and caked in blood, his gold eyes were set in a glare and he wore only a thin pair of pants… meaning his 6-pack and that delightful V and goody trail were on full display; but so was the evidence of torture. His chest and his back were oozing blood.

He looked confused for only a second, "I was in bed at the time of the attack."

I sighed, "Where the fuck is our host? I have a few unsavory words to direct their way."

I heard a cackling laugh and let my head snap to the side. The man who was laughing was none other than Uldred. He said, "You really are immune to demons. I'll be honest, when I heard from a few of my co-conspirators about you when I got back, I didn't actually believe it. How is it possible?"

"I was born this way. My father is what many here might call an abomination – with a twist."

"Abominations cannot sire children. Tell me the truth!" he snapped.

I rolled my eyes and let out my wings, "Proof enough for you, dumbass?"

He shook his head, "No – that just proves you're unique. Why don't you join me… with your prowess, I can't think of how this might go better!"

I snorted, "You are really fucked up in the head. Honestly, having me knocked out so I can't kill your pet sloth, having my body mutilated and… ugh – I know what was done to me, ass-hat. I'm not some naïve child. I've been raped and tortured before. Why in Elune's merciful grace would I join you?"

Cullen was choking in horror. Uldreds face twisted in rage, "I told them not to touch you until I could… they will pay for their disobedience!"

"That's good to hear, but I was never going to join you, slick. I came here to put an end to your rebellion – and while I'm trapped in here for now, you can't stop me. Even killing me won't help you."

He snarled, "You are lucky I have other matters to attend to. I'll take care of you soon enough."

He stomped off. Cullen spoke again, his voice soft, "You… you're really here, Lady Stormlight?"

I nodded curtly. "If you didn't believe, why were you… soft earlier? And unfortunately, yes… and call me Atarah or just Tara – we're both tortured souls, after all."

"I… I'm sorry that you were… defiled. And after watching what they did to you… I held hope that you weren't a figment of my imagination." He looked sick. I shook my head, "If it wasn't you, don't apologize. If you know who did it, speak up so I can avenge myself."

"It was a black-haired blood mage – his skin was pasty and his eyes were red. Red eyes are a sure sign of demonic possession. That's all I know." he said. I sat on the cold floor next to him. I was thankful that the mage who'd defiled me at least hadn't… made a mess, so to speak.

"Can I… could I lean against you? I just feel a little… vulnerable, right now… and I know you're honorable, at least."

He hesitated for a moment before lifting one of his arms to put around my shoulders. I felt tears begin to slip from my eyes. Hadn't I suffered enough? Hadn't my long life been full of enough grief and suffering?

I had died 3 times – two of those times were in defense of people. Cullens' arms held me tightly as I sobbed. I couldn't let my friends and family see me like this – so Cullen was the only comfort I would likely get. Though… to be honest, they might all piece it together from my state of undress. My pack had obviously been left behind in the room with Sloth, so I didn't have a change of clothes – because I couldn't access my magic.

Sure, I could shout, use the Thu'um to free myself but if I did that, I could bring down half the tower… logically, that should be a last resort. I didn't care much for logic at this point – I was once again damaged goods. Why did this keep happening to me? Of all people in the gods-forsaken universes, why me?

Before all this… I had just been a stay-at-home mother. Why couldn't some other super-fan with a shrine and dreams of this kind of thing happening to them shoulder this burden? And if it had to be me, why 3 places? Skyrim… I hadn't played that game in almost a year.

I had been bouncing between WoW (World of Warcraft) and Dragon Age… nothing else. I hadn't played God of War or Oblivion or even fucking Spyro in almost a year and half… so how did Skyrim get the first pick?

"This might be a stupid question… but are you okay?"

I glanced at Cullen with a strangled sob, "No. My betrothed, King Anduin, is down the hall taking a demon induced power nap – though I guess he's not my betrothed anymore since I talked him out of it. My cousin is there too as well as the last of the Grey Wardens. I was just raped for the… who-know-how-many time. I'm so fed up with this shit. I'm tired of being the Hero when it's only ever brought me grief. All I want is to retire with someone who could possible love me and maybe have a kid or two that I can keep! But, of fucking course, that's not the will of the Gods!"

"Betrothed… King… what?"

"I don't want to be a queen – enough said about that. But I don't think he'll be able to break the Betrothal Contract unless I actually get married to someone here in Thedas now."

"Oh… why do you not… I mean… if it's too personal…" he flushed.

I shook my head, "All of Azeroth hated me until recently. For… my whole life… I was thought to be marked by the old-gods. Even though a Goddess of the Moon, a Demi-God of Nature, and an arcane well of Light all claimed me as a fucking Hero, all they could see was a villain in disguise. Now… I'm damaged goods all over again."

He was staring at me slack-jawed, "You were blessed by gods?"

"You wouldn't think so…" I moved my hair out of the way so he could see the lightly glowing silver crescent moon in the center of my forehead, "Elune's blessing keeps me healed and healthy. I never get sick, and all injuries heal quick… as you can see by the fact that I'm no longer bleeding or have any marks."

He nodded in awe. I sighed, "But when it came to light that… I had the soul of a dragon, all my blessings were disregarded. I can even take the form of a great red dragon. The Ruby Dragon-Flight was kind enough to adopt me, at least."

"You can… that sounds like magic!" he accused. I snorted, "Talk to Greagoir about that. You know he used his smite on me and taught me smite as well. You think he'd allow the latter if I was a mage?"

He flinched, "You're right. I apologize for accusing you. Just… after what I've…"

I shook my head, "And if I did have magic… I am immune to demons – and only warlocks and those who deal with demons where I'm from can do blood magic. So unless I was a Warlock – which, by the way, with my immunity to demons, that's not possible – then there would be no reason for you to fear me. Most Mages can only use frost, arcane and fire. Well… they can make portals too… but druids like my cousin Inas can mostly just heal and shapeshift."

He blinked, "That's how the magic works in your lands?"

"There are like… 6 or 7 types of magic user. Though what some of the other classes can do, you might call magic too. And most of those magic users strive for peace, not war."

"How is that possible…?"

"Magic isn't bound to the Fade – it's bound to nature itself. Our King is a Magic User – a Priest of the Holy specialization, meaning he's mostly a healer who uses the light to 'smite' his enemies."

He looked horrified, "If the mages here heard of your lands…"

I sighed, "Look, Cullen… I'm trying to keep things as sane as possible. Anduin won't like how things are done here and he knows he can't overturn a thousand years of religious doctrine. He likely won't ally unless I say something. Don't worry about that. For the most part, Azerothian citizens will stay in Azeroth."

He relaxed. "That's good then… I once thought we were too hard on the mages, but…"

"I get it – really I do. Anyone who can be possessed by a demonic entity should be monitored – at least until it's proven that they have control. But that's a debate for later. But you know I'm immune. The pride demon markings on my back show that they were trying to get that thing to possess me – and failed."

He nodded, "I… was present for that. They tried Desire and Despair too. Each one… it was like they couldn't even sense your presence. Desire sensed something – but I'm not sure if that was from you or…"

"Let me guess – she said I desired you?" I gave him a wry look. He flushed and looked away. "I figure it is because of my own desire to… I mean… I…"

"No, she hit the nail on the head… I do desire you – well, I did. I don't think I'll desire anyone for at least a year after this. It took me a decade and a half to get over my last bout – but that was sexual slavery not a one-time thing."

He paled, "That's… that's horrible."

"What was more horrible was who I was enslaved too – don't ask… you really don't want to know the answer. Unfortunately I have a near-perfect memory. I remember every detail with clarity."

He shuddered, "That would be… I can't imagine."

"No… nor would I wish you to do so." I lay my head down to his lap wile I looked up into his eyes.

"Cullen… place a finger on my blessing mark…" I said. He looked confused, "Why?"

I sighed, "I… I like you enough to share my blessing – it won't be permanent… it will only work as long as I allow and only while we are in contact. But it will heal you, your wounds…"

He shook his head, "Forgive me, but I don't think I can allow magic right now."

I nodded, "I can respect that. Thank you, Cullen – for helping me through this." His hand came up to pet my hair and I felt a soft purring begin in my chest. I kept it quiet though.

I heard voices coming down the hall as Cullen stiffened. "Where do you think she is, Inas? She's still my betrothed for better or worse!" Anduins voice sounded strained.

Alistairs' voice responded, "Er… your majesty, think of it like this – if they had… killed her… she would have been left beside us."

Aedan said, "I agree… but until we find her, I nominate Alistair as our temporary leader."

"What?" Alistair cried out.

Lyna chuckled, "You are her second, Shem. You're a senior warden too – you were already a warden when we all joined. Besides, you're the prince heir."

"Daylen… back me up – I can't be…" Alistair stammered.

"Too late." Daylens voice held a grin.

They entered the room and Inas' eyes shot to my state of… undress. "Thank the maker," Alistair muttered when he saw I was alive.

Inas was furious, "Did this man…?"

"No, Inas – he protected me as much as he could. But if you see a pale, black-haired red-eyed mage while you're killing Uldred in the next room, be sure to enact the rage of nature on him, yeah?" I said.

Anduin looked sick, "You were… By the Light…"

"The light had nothing to do with this, Andy. Mostly it was demons. You're so lucky you didn't see the true after-math of my… torture is the nicer word so let's use that." Cullen flinched, "The mages are beyond…"

I covered his mouth with my hand, "Go – Kill Uldred, save Irving and let's get the fuck out of this tower. If I never see this floor of the tower again, it'll be too soon."

Inas snarled as he shifted to bear form. Cullen shook off my hand, "You said he was your cousin – why is his skin purple?"

"He's a night-elf. That's just how they look. Hair colors are usually green, purple or white – hence my hair is purple. The elves here all resemble Bloodline Elves of Azeroth." I shrugged.

Alistair spoke, "One question – why am I the one who has to be in charge when you can't?"

"Why not? You are Cailans' heir." Cullen sputtered, "Alistair is a Prince?"

"Cullen, is that you?"

I snorted, "Let me guess – you two trained together? Yes, Cullen, Alistair is Cailans' bastard of a half-brother."

"I knew my birthright would come back to haunt me one day," Alistair muttered.

"Oh, let me guess. If we let you lead people will die and you'll discover you have no pants… is that it?" I snarked.

He flushed but said, "Yes, exactly that! Even worse – we'll also be lost!"

Anduin was laughing and I shook my head, "Look, someone go avenge me and kill the blood mages."

Inas was off like a shot – everyone else was hot on his heels.

Cullen snorted, "Your cousin is… eager."

"He and two others were the only ones who ever really… cared. Sure Anduin wanted to marry me, but… he didn't exactly think of me as more than someone who would make a decent wife. Uncle Magni and my Step-father Lor'themar were the only ones who seemed to care. Alexstrasza – queen of the Dragons – adopted me, but she was not actually… she could have cared less. She only adopted me because I'm a red dragon. Had I been Bronze, it would have been Nozdormu who adopted me. Wration if I had been black-scaled… Ysera if I was emerald or Malygos for blue. None of them cared past the fact that I am a dragon, like them. If I wasn't stuck in some twisted reincarnation cycle – dying and coming back on different worlds – I would never have known why everyone hated me."

"You… died?" he looked horrified as he scooted back. I sighed, "I've died 3 times. Doesn't seem to matter. Twice, my life was given for the greater good. It's why Inas is so protective of me now – my life was given to save his life this last time."

"How…?"

"I wish I knew, honestly… I'd end the damn cycle. I'm so tired of being the sticking point. I've suffered for so long, taken so much abuse and neglect. But what else can I do? I didn't choose this!" I sighed. He looked conflicted, "I… I don't know."

I shook my head, "Don't worry about it – it's not your fault. The gods have a funny way of making us all their pawns."

He sighed, "Mages… I don't think of them as people anymore…" his voice was no higher than a whisper.

I shrugged, "You may change your mind again one day. I can't think of them as anything other than people. They were born as they are, just like I was born the freak that I am. I can't change that – I can't just magically make people accept me. I've had to die several times to have people learn that I have feelings too. Cullen – imagine something for me. What if one day you woke up… and had magic? What if one day, a day after you die or something, you woke up in a place you didn't know and you suddenly had the ability to cast spells? That happened to me, you know. I was a powerless human before I became a Dragon."

He flinched but didn't seem to catch my admission of having magic, "That… I think I would hate myself – if only because of how I view mages now."

I curled into him, "What if I were what Azeroth called a mage or a druid? Even with my immunity to demons and my dragon soul… would you hate me?"

His hand was stroking my hair, "I don't think I could. You were immune to 4 types of demon – 3 of those I witnessed myself. Their blood magic did nothing to you – just like that Maleficar who escaped before. I might have to insist on contacting the Divine for her opinion, but… with you, someone who holds no risk of demonic possession, someone who holds no risk of turning to blood magic… I don't think I could hate you."

I relaxed as more tears spilled from my eyes. This was a man I'd held as a crush for so long. He was half the reason I kept playing Dragon Age constantly. And I was damaged; in front of him, no less. I hadn't even been able to keep a brave face until I was alone.

"Are… are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"I always have been. This one incident wasn't near as bad as… and at least I don't know exactly what was done to me since I was out cold. That will help my recovery a lot."

"Really? How so?" Cullen sounded so confused.

"I told you – my memory is near-perfect. This way I don't have to re-live what was done over-and-over. This way, I don't have to wonder if I could have stopped him if I'd been stronger. Oh sure, I'm physically strong enough to stop your mages if I'm awake, but I was knocked out when I let my guard down. I got cocky. Over-confidence was my downfall. Now… well, now I worry that Anduin won't break the betrothal."

He jerked, "Why wouldn't he? I mean… not to sound…"

I snorted, "No, I get it. Why would he keep me now that I'm… that I've been… well, the answer is simple: honor. I was harmed under his watch while I was considered his. He's not going to let that go. Even with me avenged, he'll feel responsible. If he does that… I'm going to need to find a spouse here – and quick."

"Why quick?" Cullen sounded worried. "Because, he will try almost anything to get me back to Azeroth where the contract will be in effect. I'd have to marry him then. That contract is iron-clad and water-tight according to Inas; and he would know since he has a fascination with that kind of thing."

"If it… comes to that… I offer myself." He sounded strained.

I sat up, "That's sweet of you and all, but I wouldn't be able to… make it official and that's half the legal battle right there. Besides, you only know a little about me. That doesn't make for a good wife."

He gave a self-deprecating laugh, "I wouldn't make a good husband either – not like I am now. I know this will haunt me."

"Honey – I'd be massively impressed and worried if it didn't. Torture and such things are supposed to change you – make you the person you were meant to be."

He sorted, "You're saying that being tortured for the past two weeks was to supposed to happen in the grand scheme?"

I sighed, "Only two weeks, huh? You're lucky we got here so soon then. It only took us 3 weeks to get here from Lothering – and 2 to get from our rescuers hut to Lothering to begin with. Ferelden is bigger than it looks on a map, I'll give it that."

"Lucky? How is that lucky?" he snapped.

"Think about it – if this had started as soon as Uldred got back, you could have been here – tortured – twice as long. I took that mantle for two centuries."

"Exactly how old are you, anyway?" he paled when he realized what he asked. "Oh… I mean… that's not something I should have…"

"10,490 years old, if you add all 4 lives together. I spent 33 as a human, 100 as a Dragonborn because they apparently age slower than others, 10,352 as an elf in Azeroth and almost 2 months here." I'd had to work to remember exact amounts – I usually rounded up or down.

His jaw dropped, "Are you… how is any of that even possible?"

"No matter how many times you ask, I simply don't know. I know when I reincarnated to Azeroth, to being an elf, I was actually reborn. Like… I was a baby and everything. Not a comfortable experience, but the gods or whatever thought I needed it, I guess. To think, I wasn't even religious before all this – now I hold most gods in neutrality until they place themselves firmly on one side of my feelings. I like Elune and Cenarius. I could care less for most of the Divines in Skyrim… Talos was decent enough, I suppose, but he used to be a mortal man so that was kind of expected."

Cullen sighed, "My offer still stands, so you know. About… if you really want to avoid…"

I chuckled, "That's sweet. I guess I'll let you know."

That was when the others came down from the Harrowing chamber and Inas rushed over to me. He handed me my pack, so I stripped and got into fresh clothes. Cullen just looked away while I did, though Alistair was stammering and flushed as he looked away. Irving was with them at least.

Anduin spoke, "I can't… I can't break the…"

"I figured after all this you wouldn't break the betrothal… Cullen has offered for my hand." I said as I pulled my hair up. Inas snorted, "I doubt you said yes. You're not the kind to accept a stranger."

"He's not a stranger. I already knew Cullen and mutual torture forms a bond."

Cullen nodded and I helped him stand, "But no… I told him I'd let him know if that was something… we could do. Anduin – I still won't marry you. Especially not now. I won't be able to look at anyone that way for at least a few months – though my estimate is a year… actually scratch that… I might just do what I did last time this happened."

Inas snorted, "Women only for a few hundred years then?"

"I don't play favorites but I wonder if Sereda is still interested…" I mused.

"Wait, Sereda is still in love with Gorim…" Lyna said. I smirked, "What about you then, sweetheart?"

She flushed, "Sorry Lethallan – I don't do women."

I shrugged, "More's the pity. Oh well – looks like single life for me for a while."

Inas spoke, "Should we get back to Azeroth or…?"

"Actually, I'd appreciate if someone could help Cullen, Irving and I down the stairs. Cullen wouldn't let me share my blessing, Irving didn't earn that from me and said blessing doesn't help muscle soreness."

Inas shifted to bear form and nudged at me until I relented and got on his back. Anduin moved to help Cullen and Alistair took care of Irving.

I heard snippets from Anduin talking with Cullen, "If you hurt her… I will hurt you. I've had a crush on her since I was 14, though she firmly ignored me."

Cullen sighed, "I offered for her hand only because she was worried about you, King Anduin. Yes, I think I developed a bit of a liking toward her but I'm in no real position to act on such feelings. I'm only 18 and still rather low in the Templar ranks. Besides even if she'd said yes, we would have needed to get permission from the Knight-Commander and a Grand Cleric… not to mention… actually I think she'd be granted permission on the whole basis of 'Immune to Demons and blood magic' alone."

Anduin coughed, "You and I are of the same age?"

I laughed, "Apparently, I like the youthful blonde men; who knew?"

Daylen snorted, "My cousin was not blonde, commander."

"No, Hawke was black haired… and I swear that man was 100% muscle – not an ounce of fat on him. He had some interesting tricks too."

Cullen cleared his throat, "I was unaware you had family in the area, Amell."

"The Hawke family in Lothering; Garrett, Bethany, Leandra and Carver. They took us in for the few days we spent in Lothering – even as big a group as we have."

Daylen laughed, "I'm sure it had nothing to do with my cousin getting you in his bed."

"Oh, I'm sure that played very well into it. But honestly, he was more interested in what I could teach him outside the bedroom, not in it."

Lyna giggled, "For a Shem, he was cute."

Morrigan smirked, "He certainly seemed to like her. I was surprised when he let her go so easily."

"Actually Morrigan… I have some news for you that relates to that."

Everyone waited while they held their breath. "Oh; what might that be, I wonder?"

"I sensed the kinship in you both… but you have no relation to Daylen. Meaning… Hawkes father was your father. Malcom Hawke sired you."

She blinked, "Interesting, but I have no care for that."

I shrugged, "It won't stop you from… starting something with Daylen at least. I know you two like each-other."

Daylen flushed, "You know, I used to have this big crush on Cullen? And I heard rumors that he liked me too."

Cullen choked, "I… well, I mean… that was…"

I giggled, "Oh that's something I would have loved to have seen… it sounds sexy."

Alistair grumbled, "What does…?"

"Guy-on-guy action. I'd pay to see that sometime."

Lyna let out a giggle but Sten said, "There is no benefit to it… other than release of needs. Soldiers will sometimes partake when there are no Tamassrans or suitable women nearby."

I nodded, "Prisoners will do that too. In my first life, there was a saying about it among inmates."

"This I have to hear," Aedan chuckled.

"It's not gay if you quit 30 days before you get out." I shrugged.

"How are we on this topic?" Anduin was flushed. Leliana finally spoke, "I would lay with you, Tara… perhaps."

I looked her over, "Are you sure? You are so damn beautiful that I would hate to have you lower your standards for me."

Laughter was abundant as we hit the library on the first floor. She smirked, "I guess we will have to see then, won't we?"

"True – we have to kill your ex first." She froze.

"We… will have to kill her?"

I nodded, "After the ambush she set, we will find her in Denerim so… and you know as well as I that she won't leave you in peace."

The way I had worded it made Cullen – at least – think that the ambush already happened. He said, "This woman set an ambush and you think she will back off?"

Leliana looked at me; I shook my head gently so she said "I… suppose you are right."