Chapter Nine

On the Road Again

That evening, I woke to my head on Cullens' chest while he stroked my hair. I sighed – I loved having my hair played with. He jumped, "Oh… I, erm… that is…"

"Don't worry – I like that sort of thing." I muttered as I snuggled closer. He relaxed and said, "You have two hard… lumps on your head; under your hair near your forehead."

"When I was a baby, I was growing silver antlers – Antlers being the sign of Druidic potential. Silver, because they were a gift from that Demi-god, Cenarius. My care-takers kept cutting them away to sell off the pieces. Turns out, Silver Antlers make for a powerful healing potion or even a… aphrodisiac. After 10 years, they just… stopped growing. When Cenarius found out, he tried to make them grow but it was too late by then. He and Malfurion were… none too pleased. My uncle may not have liked me, but to have my horns cut away for those reasons made him… he had the two perpetrators imprisoned. Had I been Inas, he would have killed them instead, but…"

I felt the horror radiating from Cullen, "You were mutilated for such a thing?"

I nodded, "I'll live – this was so long ago, after all."

"What did your father think of this?"

"Illidan Stormrage didn't have anything to think about – he was imprisoned for 10000 years – only getting out rather recently – within the last few years, actually. We had less than a year together before he took up the mantle of Jailor – meaning I will likely ever see him again. He killed the two – who were still imprisoned for what they'd done to me, since they were elves. I think one was a hunter – which is how they knew the value of my antlers to begin with."

I sat up and stretched, "Thank you, Cullen – for the comfort, the listening and not hating me now that… now that you know I have magic."

He sighed, "When you first posed that question, I thought I might – that if you had magic of any sort, that I might hate it. After what was done to me. But then I realized – you are immune to demons, you can't be touched with blood magic… if that were the case, you'd be the safest magic wielder to associate with. In your case, Magic can only serve you – it can't rule over you."

I nodded, "Very astute of you. You know… I prefer physical weapons to magic anyway."

He chuckled, "There is that too. Besides, Dragons are unpredictable in the first place, so how are we to know what else you can do?"

"Ask and you shall receive." I sing-songed. He smirked until he noticed I was stripping to change. Then all I heard was choking and sputtering. I chuckled, "I may not have any desire to lay with someone, but that doesn't mean I suddenly developed a sense of modesty. Besides, like I said, I trust you."

"That… makers' breath, you're going to kill me."

I laughed, "Not at all! Though… I have heard that making love can be deadly if done right."

I finished pulling on the leather tank-top, crimson in color, and black leather pants. I sat back on the bed to lace up my knee high crimson boots.

He groaned, "I think I might miss your company when you leave… but I won't miss being constantly embarrassed."

I pouted at him, "If you had just taken me to bed when we first met, that wouldn't be an issue."

He was flushed, "It was far too soon to even consider…!"

"For you maybe; as a red dragon, I can tell the hearts of people I meet. I knew you were a good sort when I met you. If I hadn't known for sure that Sten wasn't going to kill us, I wouldn't have rescued him from that cage in Lothering."

"A… fair point."

We began heading out of the room as I continued to talk, "Besides – if I couldn't tell Hawke was of the good sort, I really wouldn't have jumped into bed with him so soon."

Daylen laughed from where he was following us, "So it really had nothing to do with being my Cousin?"

"That was icing on the cake – how else would I enjoy myself if I didn't embarrass my recruits from time to time. Sten is so stoic that will never happen – and Morrigan is safe for the same reason! Everyone else will get some teasing here and there."

"I noticed you flirt with all your recruits." Greagoir said as we approached. I nodded, "Keeps them on their toes. Lyna is cute and I'm an elf, so I might have a shot – if I wasn't her female commander. Same goes for Sereda, though she seems at least a little interested. Leliana is downright sexy. Alistair… well, everyone loves an innocent. Aedan is good looking too. Daylen actually isn't my type, believe it or not, but I'm still gonna flirt because it gets a rise out of Morrigan. Sten won't look at anyone romantically, but he does get confused when I flirt so it's worth it."

"Yes… Wynne asked if she could join you in your travels. She says you have a great amount of Honor and she'd love to learn from you as well."

I shrugged, "She's kind of like a mother hen, isn't she… but then, you'd know more about her than I would."

I shot him a discreet wink and he paled. "Cullen – we promised her Rations for a 4 week journey, will you see to that?"

The blonde man at my back nodded and took off.

"What do you know?" Greagoir snarled.

"You love her. You two had a son together, though neither of you know who he is or where he was taken. Wynne will eventually learn that. I know his name and that he's a published author."

He cursed, "This is part of your seer abilities?"

"Not remotely. But don't worry, Wynne still has many years left in her – I will make damn sure that she lives to see them."

He nodded curtly, "I sent a raven to the Grand Cathedral in Orlais; to inform them of the presence of a seer from another land. I also added the immunities to Demons, Blood Magic and Templar abilities. As for the magics… I kept it simple – just that you do have magic. I didn't add anything about dragons or portals or purple skinned tall elves. I also added that you asked about marriage to a Templar, and asked for advice on that."

I giggled, "I thank you for that, Greagoir. I'll be back in about… a month in a half, give or take. You'll love what news I bring then."

He nodded, "We will see you then, I guess."

Cullen came back over with a pack full of rations and handed them to me. I took it with a smile, "1 Year, Cullen – I will beat this blight within the year."

He flushed, "I… well, if you do… I can't say it would be a bad thing, would it?"

"Less death is always a priority of mine," I winked.

Greagoir laughed, "Thank the Maker for that!"

From there I lifted a hand, "Team Dovah-Sos – move out!"

"Dovah-Sos? I understand you say Dovah for Dragon, what does the other word mean?" Cullen asked softly.

"Blood – so together it means dragon blood." I smiled.

"Perhaps I'd like lessons in that language some time," he said.

"Marry me and you get free lessons," I was so teasing him. I heard Alistair laughing and Lyna patted my arm, "Commander, everyone is gathered – plus one."

"If you mean Wynne, she's part of the team now." I nodded to the Enchanter who smiled back at me.

Cullen was still flushed from my teasing as we left.

As we sailed back across the lake, Leliana was playing with my hair – this revealed my moon-mark.

"It is… glowing," she whispered. I said, "It will always glow lightly – while I'm healing from… anything, really, it will turn green. It has other colors for other meanings."

"You say it is a blessing from a goddess?" Lyna asked. I hummed. "And these nubs are where your antlers were met to grow?" Sereda was touching my head. "Yeah. And worse is… those things have nerve endings – meaning that those assholes that cut my antlers were causing me actual pain."

Aedan spoke, "That's terrible…"

Sten was looking at me critically so I asked, "What, Sten?"

"Most women who experience a forced encounter wind up with Asala-taar. Will you be okay to lead?"

"I will be more than okay, Sten – but if you feel the need to question, you are on the verge of challenging me."

He looked startled, "You know much of the Qun for an outsider."

"If you challenge me, I will prove myself Basalit-an. Do you wish to do this now or later?"

"Later – for now, I will observe." He nodded firmly.

I noticed Alistair kept shooting me glances. "What is it, Kulaan Alistair?"

"What… what is that word?" Aedan chuckled.

"It means Prince."

Alistair said, "Oh… I was just wondering… do you have a dragon name?"

I coughed, "What makes you ask that?"

"Well – you told us the names from your past lives, but you also said you were adopted by dragons… I was just curious if they named you."

I flushed, "You caught me – I have 2 dragon names; 1 from Skyrim and 1 from the Ruby Dragon-flight. In Skyrim, I was called Strun-Sil-Thur… it translates quite literally to Storm Soul Overlord but loosely translated is more like… Lord of Storms. When I killed the World-Eater, their king of sorts, that's what they called me. In Azeroth, I was called, Zarastrasza. All female red dragon names ended in Straza, where males ended in Strasz. Among themselves the names are shortened to the parts not including the formal endings. I was essentially called Zara among them. What made you ask this?"

"Just… I remember you saying that the one dragon called you Qahnaarin. You also mentioned it was a title… I guess I just wondered."

Leliana giggled, "He is smarter than he looks, no?"

Morrigan snorted. I grinned, "Yeah, he'll make a good king, actually."

Alistair flushed and Aedan chuckled, "Question – what are we facing in Redcliff? I get the feeling none of this is going to be 'easy'."

"It wouldn't be any fun if it was easy, Cousland. I'll tell you when we get closer – for now, we have to prepare for an ambush by the Antivan Crows. I want to recruit the leader. A cute elf named Zevran…"

"Tell me you aren't recruiting him because he's 'cute', commander." Sereda was laughing her little ass off.

I chuckled, "No – he's a damn good rouge with an affinity for poisons. But him being cute gives me something to look at, at least. Eye-candy at its finest."

Morrigan sighed, "A fine idea – but I would check your food and drinks carefully from then on, were I you."

"No need for me to do so – my detox clears poisons and harmful magics. If I feel like I'm going to die, I cast it and I'll be right as rain in seconds."

She blinked, "Can you teach me that?"

Wynne was gaping, "I'd like to learn that as well."

I shrugged, "I don't see why not – so long as you both swear not to teach anyone else that one. See… it cures another thing that would have you both hunted. Grey Wardens would be a dying breed."

"It cures the Blight." Daylen said bluntly.

I nodded, "I actually did undertake the joining, but… I wasn't going to survive it. In a panic, I cast detox… and I lived."

Sten looked interested, "The joining is lethal?"

Oops. "Riiiight… sorry. That was supposed to be a secret."

We docked and started walking after I motioned to Kester who looked at me with a wide grin.

Alistair groaned, "Thankfully, that's not the biggest secret – even I don't know that one. Only the senior wardens…"

"Alistair, be a dear and explain to us what being a Warden entails."

Alistair looked horrified and I rolled my eyes.

"Look, the Ensigns need to know, there are no Qunari Wardens in the first place, Wynne is a scholar at heart, Morrigan already knows most of it thanks to her mother, and Leliana is special."

Leliana spoke up, "Special how?"

"You can never be a Warden – because you're highly resistant to the taint. I won't tell you how I know."

She was pale faced but nodded, "I… I see."

Alistair must have thought I had forgotten my request to him, because he pointedly didn't say anything. I nudged him, "Now, Constable."

He flinched, "But… they're secrets…"

"And as commander, I am ordering you to spill – or I will."

He sighed, "Yes, Commander. We carry the taint of the blight within us. Drink some of their blood in a really creepy ritual so that we can sense them… it's what gives us the dreams – we tap into their 'hive-mind' or whatever it is. We can hear them in that way. Some of the older wardens can understand them, even. According to Duncan, it's also the reason the only a grey warden can end the blight. It's… also a death sentence. We have around 30 years before we start to submit to the taint and go on what is called the calling – we go to Orzammar and fight darkspawn in the deep roads until they kill us or worse happens. We also suffer lower fertility rates, though the trade-off is we have higher stamina for fighting. You have to understand that all of this is a secret of the Order – you can't tell anyone. If word got out, we'd have a harder time recruiting and all of Thedas would be hard-pressed to end future Blights with no Wardens."

Sten was staring at me, "You knew all of that, already." Everyone turned to look at me.

"Yeah; I knew. I know more about the Wardens than anyone in this damn boat. I know why only a Warden can end the blight. I know how it happens in great detail. I know every rank, symbol, and dirty secret. Technically, since we know Alistair will defer to anyone in most warden matters, I'd say a different ensigns' rank should be constable, not Alistairs' – and whoever does get that rank will be full on Commander of the Grey when this shit is over, since I don't plan to stick around in Ferelden. Before Ostagar but after the joining, you were just Warden-Ensigns. In the space of a day, you all rose to Senior Wardens or Warden-Lieutenant if you go by Orlesian ranks. Did you know that Wardens frequently train with weighted bundles of canes, sparring with one another and with pells to build physical strength? Or that training within the Order is somewhat class-blind, with melee and archer fighters training mages, for example, and mages training warriors and rogues in various areas as well. Likely there is something each class can learn from the others, regardless of natural abilities, and I could even name some ways it might be helpful."

Alistair perked up, "I completely agree… so who should be the Constable?"

I snorted and the others all began laughing. "Lyna was the first to wake up, so I guess this is a case of Elves in charge."

Lyna gave me a high-five and said, "I'll agree just for that."

"What are her qualifications?" Sten asked seriously.

"Only a Warden – or in my case, and honorary one – can lead the order. She was lead hunter for her Clan despite being so young, so I have to say that she excels in tracking her prey." I stated.

Lyna spoke up, "I was also named second for the clan. Merrill was first since Keepers and their Firsts' need to be mages, but in the even that something happened to them both; I would have taken the leadership until the next Arlathvhen where we could get a new keeper."

I nodded, "And there is that – which I absolutely did not know. That's a high honor for one so young, Lethallan."

She beamed, "I had shown great promise – though…" she sighed before continuing. "I was set to bond with Tamlen before all this. He is… dead now."

I flinched and looked away. She caught on and grabbed my shoulder, "What do you know?"

"He… you understand you were both infected with the blight… that he wasn't found and given the aid you were…"

She nodded, "Duncan said he would be dead – why do you act like he isn't?"

"Oh, Lethallan – you would wish him dead… it would be the kinder option."

She paled, "Please… tell me…"

Alistair spoke, "No… no, it can't… he wasn't killed?"

I shook my head, "He was tainted by that damned Eluvian – an ancient elven mirror."

"No – Duncan said the mirror was Tevene in origin…" Lyna paled.

Morrigan spoke then, "If it was an Eluvian, then it was most certainly Elven, not Tevinter."

I sighed, "Being tainted away from the Darkspawn gave the taint a chance to grow in him. He became a ghoul. We will have to be the ones to put him out of his misery when he's in an 'ambush' set by the Darkspawn against us. He doesn't… have control of his memory right now. Only when he sees you, Lyna… he'll remember. And he won't fight back."

She sobbed, "You're right… I wish I didn't know that."

I gave her a soft hug, "It will be alright – you will be doing him a mercy then."

We walked for several hours more – finding a suitable camping spot close to dawn. I looked through the bag that Cullen had prepared and let out a soft giggle.

"What's so funny in there?" Aedan asked. "Yes, Tara, what did your future husband pack you?" Leliana teased.

"Honestly, I think I might have to keep him. Leli… he packed me chocolate."

There was silence as Morrigan, Leli and Wynne all wondered over. Morrigan commented, "Chocolate? Then you're right – you must keep him. I may not like him as he is a Templar, but any man who packs chocolate for a woman cannot be all bad."

Lyna and Sereda giggled from their own spot. The dwarf said, "Even I would keep him for that!"

I sniggered, "He didn't leave for the Templars till he was 13, you know. He grew up with two sisters. Shame I can't eat this tonight…"

"Why not?" Wynne asked.

"Because, we all need to have a talk… about the Darkspawn. No one gets to make food until this is out of the way though. I don't know that anyone who isn't a warden will wish to eat after this… Wardens need lots of food."

Everyone sat in a circle and I sat in front of Leli – she started messing with my hair again and I smiled at her before I began talking.

"The darkspawn have always existed; it was not the fault of the Tevinter Magisters… though they did fuck up on a massive scale. The chantry themselves knew it was not what they claim. They didn't attach what the Seven did to the blight until the third Blight. Regardless, the taint they carry can infect others, turning them into darkspawn as well. Black ichor flows in their bodies as blood flows in ours. Darkspawn do not need to eat as the taint sustains them, however they can eat for reasons other than dietary. Furthermore, the taint provides quick healing from wounds – also how the Wardens seem to be in great shape all the damn time. The darkspawn have good vision in the darkness but they're weaker in sunlight. As a species, the darkspawn are asexual and unable to reproduce – and that's also why Wardens have lowered fertility."

"Really? Then how…?" Alistair began but he stopped when I took a shaky breath.

"The task of reproduction is left to a specific form of ghoul; the Broodmothers. Captured female prisoners are infected with the taint and are force-fed darkspawn tissue and vomit as well as the tainted flesh of fallen kin. Those that survive this process undergo a horrific transformation and become massively swollen creatures that exist to breed more darkspawn… A single broodmother is capable of giving birth to thousands of darkspawn during their lives, and each race produces a different type of darkspawn. It's horrible to think about, but worse to witness. Humans produce Hurlocks, dwarves produce Genlocks, elves produce shrieks, and Qunari produce ogres."

I swallowed hard. I saw the horror on all the faces of those around me.

I pressed on, "Darkspawn feature similar traits to the race their broodmother once was, such as Genlocks having magical resistance. Mature darkspawn continue to disfavor each other and tend to group together with their own kind – that's why you rarely see Genlocks with Hurlocks or such in hunting bands – especially outside the blights. Darkspawn are thought to be stupid but… they really aren't. They have their own language and know how to work together for many things like Smithing and assaults. They worship the Old Gods and that kind of devotion isn't seen in things that can't think for themselves even a little bit."

"Why isn't that common knowledge? About the Broodmothers, I mean. No woman should face Darkspawn without knowing… do the Wardens just not…?" Aedan looked a bit green.

I gave him a sad look. "The Wardens know. They keep it secret for their own reasons, but I plan to put that shit on blast. I want Sten telling the Ariqun, I want Leli telling the Chantry and I want to tell the damn Shaperate while we're in Orzammar. Every woman who risks that should know to find a way to get dead quick if it looks hopeless."

"What about us?" Sereda motioned to Lyna and herself.

"You two will be fine… but when your true Calling comes, I wouldn't risk it. Take a knife and end it – better yet, find a dragon to fight."

Sten nodded, "A Dragon is a worthy way to go."

"What do you mean 'True' Calling?" Alistair asked suspiciously.

"I'll… explain at a later date."

Sten spoke again. "I will be telling the Ariqun as you say. But, Kadan… why have you willingly been throwing yourself into these fights knowing all of this? Why do you allow other women into the group?"

"Calling me Kadan so soon, Sten? To what do I owe that honor? As for the women – Lyna, Sereda and Leliana won't be affected by the Darkspawn. Morrigan is a shapeshifter like me; she can fly the fuck away from them. If Wynne gets tainted I'll detox her, but she's wonderfully resistant in her current state. Shana is also resistant due to her circumstances at Ostagar, but then… she's a Mabari – I don't think they make Broodmothers from dogs."

Shana gave a yip and licked my hand. I chuckled.

"Kadan; that does not answer why you so willingly…"

"Sten, Pashaara. Sataareth Kadan hass-toh issala ebasit; Var-toh katashok, ebadim maraas issala toh."

Leliana was staring at me wide eyed and Aedan looked at me, "What did you just… say?"

"She told me Enough. It is my purpose to do what I must for those I consider important; they will struggle, and we will turn them into nothing. I don't know how you speak Qunlat so flawlessly, Kadan… but you are right. We all have our purpose and if that is truly yours then I will speak no more of it."

"So – why call me Kadan?"

"Is there some significance to it?" Daylen asked.

I shrugged, "It means he adopted me as family."

Sten nodded, "That is the easiest way to say it, yes. As for why… you have survived torture, you are aiding me in restoring my honor and finding my blade, and you are one who is worthy of respect."

"That would put me at Basalit-an, not Kadan. Kadan is personal."

He nodded, "That it would. You have managed to… endear yourself to me, somehow. I find I have begun to think of you as a close friend."

I smirked, "I grow on people it seems."

"Like a fungus," Alistair exclaimed happily. I laughed so hard I snorted. "Yes, dear; like a fungus."