Author's Note: Dearest readers, I'm still here! It's been a hell of a few months. Well, I suppose it's been a hell of a year, but it's been particularly bad in my household for a few months. Many of you have reached out to me to check on me and I cannot express how much that meant to me. I'm sorry that I haven't had the time or energy to reply to you individually. I'm hoping you will prefer a new chapter. Seriously, so much love to you all, I'm infinitely grateful. I hope you enjoy this!
Chapter 5
"It's a girl," Andromeda declared, even as she continued to run the scan with her wand over Hermione's abdomen in order to make sure that the baby was healthy.
Draco and Hermione had arrived at this appointment expecting to find out the sex of the baby. They'd decided that knowing it might better prepare Scorpius for the arrival of his sibling. It was probably wishful thinking, he was just a toddler after all, but it couldn't hurt.
Ironically, Draco found himself unprepared, and his breath caught at his aunt's words. He hadn't cared whether they had a boy or a girl. He really hadn't. But now that he knew; the idea of a little witch to spoil, a girl who looked like Hermione and would no doubt be as brilliant as she was, felt a little overwhelming. And more than a little wonderful. But there was also some other feeling there, something decidedly less pleasant, that he couldn't quite pin down.
Hermione looked up at him for his reaction and he smiled at her hoping he looked more composed than he felt.
"Are you okay?" She asked, slipping her hand into his as they left the exam room and made their way towards the Floo fireplaces. "Are you disappointed?"
He looked at her questioningly.
"That it's not a boy?"
"No, not at all," he denied immediately, a little surprised that she even felt the need to ask. Because whatever he was feeling, he was certain it wasn't that. He tilted his head in contemplation. "I think maybe I'm a little intimidated by the idea of a daughter."
"Hmm," she said, nodding.
"You?"
"I'm a little intimidated as well, but I like the idea of having one of each, I think."
He nearly stopped short. "You're intimidated?" As far as he was concerned his wife was like the baby whisperer or something.
She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Well, yeah. Aside from the whole being pregnant and giving birth thing, pretty much all the children I'm closest to are boys. I'm sure it's not that different in the end but…" she trailed off and shrugged.
"You'll be great." He squeezed her hand.
"So will you," she responded, voice suspiciously raspy. She cleared her throat. "And given the way your mother keeps slipping up and calling the baby 'she' she'll be thrilled, so you'll gain some points there."
He laughed. "And we'll be up to our eyeballs in frilly things with bows in no time."
"Who do you think will be worse, her or Pansy?"
"Oh I am not taking that bet either way."
She stopped walking, pulling on his arm to bring him to a halt as well and pointed a finger in his direction. "But I don't subscribe to traditional gender roles. Girls should be allowed to dress how they want and play sports—"
"Or have careers?" He questioned, arching an eyebrow at her. "I'm very aware, Assistant Director Malfoy."
Hermione had initially been adamant that she didn't want to change her name. In the past he wouldn't have understood that decision. As little as five years ago he would have been furious at the mere suggestion.
But when Hermione had expressed her opinion and given her reasons, he'd barely blinked an eye. In the face of everything else, he couldn't bring himself to feel threatened by her choice, and he certainly couldn't feel emasculated when he'd willingly chosen such an independent woman. They'd had exactly one discussion over the issue before the wedding, that's all that had been necessary.
So, he had been flabbergasted when they'd returned from their honeymoon and gone to the Ministry to finalise Scorpius' adoption and she'd taken one look at the parchment work and declared that it wasn't right. The solicitors and clerks had fallen all over themselves to assure her that everything was in order.
"No this says 'Hermione Jean Granger,' which means I won't have the same name as my son," she explained slowly, as if they were all very stupid. "I've changed my mind, I want to be a Malfoy. Make the necessary corrections please." And then she calmly pushed the stack of parchment back across the table without so much as glancing in his direction.
Less than an hour later they walked out of the building—it was good to be friends with the Minister—and Hermione Jean Malfoy was Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy's legal mother. She'd later explained to him that given that Scorpius wasn't her biological child she never wanted him to have any reason to believe she didn't accept him completely. He wasn't sure that had been strictly necessary, but she hadn't given him a chance to argue, and if he was being very honest, he wasn't certain he would have tried.
"Touche." She conceded as he started pulling her along again. "And Scorpius will be allowed to play with whatever toys he likes, even dolls," she said, in an almost off-handed manner.
"Okay," Draco answered dryly, "but we will not be talking about that with my father. Some battles aren't worth fighting."
She sighed.
"And for that matter," he continued. "When have you heard me raise a single protest to a woman playing quidditch? I'm counting on both of my children inheriting my flying skills. In fact," he looked at her and winked. "Maybe next year we can have another and then all three of them can play chaser as a unit on the Slytherin team when they reach Hogwarts." He could practically feel Hermione gaping at him but he refused to look at her. They'd reached the Floo by then, and as was a rule these days, he preceded her. He stepped into the flames and just before he was whisked away heard her call out.
"You're out of your mind, Malfoy!"
He waited for her, smirking, but when she stepped out of the flames she seemed entirely composed.
He reached for her but she sidestepped him. "You know, you seem very willing to commit to a course of action which would have us outnumbered by three children under the age of three."
He blanched and immediately back tracked, waving his hands in surrender. "I was kidding, obviously. We can see how this one goes and then maybe talk in a few years."
"That's what I thought," she snickered.
It was not until the two of them stepped into the living room and Draco set eyes on his son, who had obviously just awoken from his nap, that he began to get more insight into the emotions he'd felt at the news that they were having a girl: guilt.
This pregnancy could hardly be a more different experience for Draco than Astoria's pregnancy with Scorpius. Scorpius had been conceived out of obligation. Not love, not even passion.
Draco had hardly even seen Astoria for the entire nine months given that she'd spent the majority of the pregnancy in France. A concession which Draco had been willing to make because he figured the more relaxed she was, the better the chance she had of reaching full term, and things had become very tense at the Manor.
He'd certainly never spent hours lying in bed talking to her belly like he had been with Hermione lately. He'd only ever felt his son kick a few times.
And then when they'd discovered that Scorpius was a boy what he'd felt hadn't been joy, but relief. Because that meant it was over. No more trying. Looking back on it, he thought that might have been the day he decided he wanted a divorce.
But what did that say about him? It's not that he was worried that he would love the new baby more than he loved Scorpius, that wasn't possible. But before he held him that first time he'd thought of him as little more than an obligation, fulfilling his duty to continue the line. And that seemed monstrous.
Hell would freeze over before he ever told Scorpius that he'd once felt that way. But the truth of it still felt like a lead weight sitting on his chest.
Draco dismissed Mrs. Pearson for the day and winced as he watched his wife heft Scorpius into her arms. He'd been assured that it was perfectly safe but it still made him nervous.
Hermione yawned. "Mummy needs a nap, I think," she muttered to the little boy with a frustrated sigh.
The pregnancy had been relatively easy so far, except for how quickly Hermione got worn out which was maddening to a witch who was as active as she was. He was just pleased he'd been able to talk her into taking the rest of the day off after their appointment instead of returning to work.
"I'll take Scorp for a walk," he offered.
"You don't have to do that. You two won't bother me if you stay here."
He shook his head. "I want to, I think I need to spend a little time with my son."
Understanding dawned in her eyes. "Okay then."
"Hey Scorp, would you like to go get some ice cream?" His head whipped around and he began nodding vigorously.
"Draco," Hermione scolded half-heartedly with a little laugh.
"What? A little ice cream never hurt anybody."
She shook her head but handed Scorpius, who was eagerly straining for his father, over. "I feel the need to say something very prosaic like: "Don't spoil your dinner." He nodded and gave her a kiss and watched in amusement as Scorpius insisted on giving her two. "You boys have fun."
He placed a hand on her abdomen. "You girls have a good rest."
"You're going to enjoy that, aren't you?"
He just shrugged and went to fetch the pram. They went to the park first, because if he was going to fill the kid with sugar it was best to wear him out a little, and he'd learned from experience that running around after ice cream was a bad idea.
Soon they were at their favorite ice cream shop. The girl scooping the ice cream recognized them and even asked about Hermione. She had beamed and gushed when he told her about the baby.
It reminded Draco of how much he'd come to love the muggle world. If he'd had any idea he would have moved here immediately after the war. Nobody knew or cared who he was. If he was given a second look it was only because Scorpius was adorable. Well, okay, there were some flirtatious women, but these days all he had to do was discreetly flash his wedding ring and most of them had the decency to back off. It was paradise for a man who, for one reason or another, had been under scrutiny his entire life.
He settled himself at a table and then angled his body so that Scorpius was sitting in front of him in his pram. He was careful to place the cups of ice cream well out of the baby's rather impressive reach.
"So," he began, scooping the first bite into Scorpius' mouth, which ensured he had his full attention. "I know you won't remember this conversation, but I think that it's important we have it anyway, if only for Daddy's peace of mind, okay?"
Scorpius' response was to open his mouth for another bite. Draco laughed.
"We learned something today. The baby in Mummy's belly is a girl. Which means that in a few months you're going to have a sister. And it's really beginning to occur to me that I don't know how you're going to feel about that. I don't have any siblings, but I like to think that my relationship with my parents is very different to the way that Mummy and I treat you."
Scorpius just stared at him with those big blue eyes. Draco put the ice cream down for a moment and ran a hand through his hair.
"Right I should get to the point," he sighed. "I'm afraid we haven't been fair to you. You had kind of a shite start to life. The woman who gave birth to you barely looked at you. And then it was just me and you, with me trying to muddle through without killing you. And I think I did an alright job. But it's not fair that I know you didn't recognize my voice as a newborn because you'd never heard it before. And it's not fair that you didn't have people practically salivating for your arrival or fawning over you when you got here like your sister does."
"Dada!" Scorpius suddenly demanded, almost making Draco jump, and then he laughed when he saw the kid was pointing to the ice cream that had been abandoned on the table and making a grabby hand.
"Sorry. I'm falling down on my duties." He fed him a few bites before continuing. "I can't tell your Mummy this because she'd never stop feeling guilty, but I wonder if we shouldn't have given you some more time with just the two of us." He chuckled sardonically to himself. "Can't talk to your wife so you unload on your one year old son, great plan Malfoy," he murmured under his breath.
"I just need you to know that we weren't trying to replace you. I would never want you to look back and see how quickly we had another baby and think that's what this was about. Or that we needed to have our own kid—nobody will ever love you more than your mummy does. And one day we'll sit you down and do our best to explain all of this to you for real. But for now I needed to get this out so that when I go home Mummy won't be able to pick it out of my brain with her creepy Granger senses."
He took a deep breath and they finished their ice cream, Scorpius was suspiciously quiet and Draco assumed he'd picked up on his rather somber mood.
"What do you say we go find a present for your sister, from her big brother?"
They made a stop at a children's boutique and a small toy shop—where Scorpius was surprisingly well behaved—before returning home. The house was louder than it should have been and he walked in the living room to see Pansy and Potter seated on one couch bickering over...something. They didn't even notice him walk in.
Hermione was perched on the other sofa watching them, amusement clearly painted on her face. She had a variety of toys arranged on the cushions around her which Draco could only assume Albus, who was playing on the floor with James, had brought to her to 'take care of.' He'd seen the kid do it many times.
She caught sight of them and grinned. "Did my loves have fun?" she asked. Scorpius immediately kicked to get down and made a beeline for her.
"We did. Were we expecting company?"
In tandem Pansy and Potter's head swiveled to look at them.
"Finally! You're late," said Pansy in lieu of a greeting.
"Well Pans, it's awfully hard to be late for an appointment you didn't know you had."
She rolled her eyes. "Like I wasn't going to come over to find out if I was getting a new little goddaughter or godson, ASAP."
"Me too," Potter piped up.
It was Draco's turn to roll his eyes. The two of them were in some kind of unspoken competition to determine which of them was the better best friend. If it wasn't so well meaning and hilarious, it would have been annoying as hell.
"Anyway," Pansy continued, drawing out the word and cutting her eyes in Potter's direction. "Granger refused to tell us unless you were here, so sit," she ordered, pointing to a spot next to Hermione.
Draco knew how to pick his battles with this woman so he followed her instructions. Hermione deposited Scorpius on the floor with the other kids. He glanced at Hermione who shot him an amused grin and took his hand. Pansy was rummaging around in an enormous handbag and emerged with two wrapped boxes, one in pink and one in blue, and held them out with a little flourish.
"Just point," she ordered.
Draco and Hermione looked at each other and then, in tandem, pointed to the pink package. Pansy let out a little shriek, shoved the present into Hermione's hands before—to his surprise—hugging them both.
"Well, open it," she insisted.
Hermione carefully tore through the wrapping and lifted the lid. She pulled out a delicate glass flower in shades of pale pink and ivory. Draco recognized it as a peony. Hermione just gazed at it, turning it this way and that, letting the light reflect through it. He looked up at Pansy who was biting her lip, looking as nervous as Draco had ever seen her.
"I thought maybe for the nursery, I know you don't have an aesthetic yet, but you had peonies at your wedding so I took a chance. They're feminine, but not overdone."
Draco almost laughed out loud at the word 'aesthetic,' but he knew his friend didn't mean any harm, so he refrained. "Angling to decorate the nursery Pans?" He asked with an arch of one brow.
"I may have had an idea or two," she shrugged.
And then—completely unexpectedly—Hermione let out a sob. He immediately unlinked their hands and wrapped an arm around her. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong." She inhaled shakily and turned to face him. "Everything is 're having a baby, Draco. This is real. And we're so lucky to have such good friends," she wailed.
He tried to keep the amusement off of his face at her slightly over the top and almost certainly hormone fueled reaction. But he knew he hadn't succeeded when she reached up and flicked his nose.
"Don't laugh at me Malfoy. You did this to me!"
"You're right," he soothed, kissing her temple.
"Don't patronize me either," she growled. It would have been much more intimidating if she hadn't been all tearstained and clutching a glass flower.
As if reading his mind she sneered at him before looking away. He followed her line of sight to see Pansy—who had retreated from them, obviously a little freaked out—hovering next to Potter who, oddly, had a hand hovering at the small of her back.
"It's perfect Pansy, thank you so much. And of course you can decorate the nursery."
Draco winced, sensing that his wife was going to come to regret agreeing to that—at least without any caveats—in the coming months. He'd have to have a talk with Pansy.
There were hugs and handshakes all around after that. Even the children got in on the action. James, who was old enough to understand, latched onto his Aunt Hermione and began telling her all about what a good helper he would be and that he didn't even care that the baby was going to be a girl.
"I brought Hermione's favorite Italian food," Potter announced eventually, like he didn't know what else to say. Draco had never met somebody who could be so awkward and so thoughtful at the same time. But they all happily retreated to the kitchen.
It was there that Draco began to notice a series of unusual things going on between his best friend and Potter. When they began unpacking the take-away and were distributing it, Potter automatically handed Pansy a particular carton as if he'd already known that it was her favorite.
And when Pansy interrupted Hermione and Potter's discussion where they were lamenting some issues at the Ministry in order to scold Potter by telling him that he needed to put his foot down, and that he couldn't always depend on his reputation to pull him through 'like I told you last week,' Draco's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
However, it was when James decided that he was full and climbed down off of his chair and climbed onto Pansy's lap, and she only looked slightly uncomfortable, but simply readjusted him so that she could continue eating, that his mouth almost dropped open in shock.
He glanced at his wife out of the corner of his eyes but she gave him a small, but definitive shake of her head. That was fine, it could wait, but they were definitely talking about this later.
He attempted to convey this sentiment with his eyes, but she only rolled hers in response.
Hermione was seated on the edge of their bed applying lotion when he returned from walking Falcor later that evening. He smirked at her. "Just who the hell do Potter and Pansy think they're fooling?" He asked.
She snorted. "Oh darling, nobody but themselves."
He stopped short. "What? So they aren't seeing each other in secret? I don't think I heard her make fun of him once tonight!"
"They are, they're just pretending they're not dating."
"But Potter told you?" He asked, feeling a little put out.
"Of course not, he's just let a few things slip. I know that they see each other without us on a fairly regular basis. I truly believe that right now they are just friends; they're ignoring it if there's anything both have some issues to work through. "
"And you didn't tell me this, why?" He asked, realising he was more irritated that he hadn't noticed what was going on than he was angry. Some Slytherin he was.
She shrugged. "Well it's not really any of our business, is it? And they deserve time to figure it out, whatever it is."
"Like they've ever had a problem inserting themselves into our business."
She stopped what she was doing and met his eyes. "Draco. Do you really have any desire to get in the middle of that?"
Draco felt his eyes go wide at the thought of the possible fallout. "Good call, sweetness, as usual. We'll just stay far, far out of it and," he winced, "deal with it, if it implodes."
She licked her lips and seemed to consider that. "You're taking this better than I thought you would."
"I'm trying not to be a hypocrite," he admitted. He'd had a couple of hours to think about it and he'd realised that not only had Potter been amazingly supportive of his relationship with Hermione, but that even though he could barely even admit it to himself, he trusted him with Pansy.
"I think they might be good for each other. She doesn't coddle him, or gods forbid, worship him. And he's not intimidated by her."
"Yeah, maybe," he conceded, walking into the room. "No more talk of those two in the bedroom," he made a face.
She laughed and reached out her arms for him. "Did you bring me a present too?" She asked in a sweet little voice, eyeing the wrapped gift in his hand which he'd snagged from Scorpius' pram before he'd come upstairs.
"Well, technically it's for the baby."
"Do I at least get to open it, or did you just bring it in here to tease me?"
He rolled his eyes and handed it to her as he perched on the bed next to her.
"Awww," she cooed, once she'd opened the package and pulled out the soft white towel with a hood, topped off with a unicorn horn. "It's adorable, Draco, I'm sure she'll love it!"
"Well, those towels were some of the first things you bought for Scorpius and he loved them. So I thought it was only appropriate that Daddy get one for Baby Girl."
"You remember that?" Her eyes were welling with tears.
"It wasn't even a year ago," he chuckled. "But of course, I'll never forget that day."
"Yeah, me either," she scoffed. He must have looked puzzled because she continued. "You agreed to meet my parents that day, you crazy man. We had only been seeing each other a couple of weeks!"
He put his arms around her and dragged her up to lay against the pillows and caressed her cheeks. "As it turns out, you make me brave in ways I never thought I could be."
"Hmmm," she kissed his neck. "Did you get whatever you needed to work out with Scorp off your chest?"
Draco huffed to himself over her stupid Granger senses.
"Yeah, just. Don't ever let me take any of our children for granted, okay?"
"You wouldn't do that."
Her answer was automatic and he couldn't decide if it was more reassuring that she had so much faith in him, or worrisome that she had too much.
"Just promise me," he insisted.
She took a long breath in and out and then tilted his chin until he was meeting her eyes. "I promise."
"Thank you."
"And if you do, I'll just do that aristocratic thing where I pack them all up and head off to one of our houses in the country and put up so many wards you won't be able to enter the county until you come to your senses."
He burst out laughing. When he calmed down he nuzzled her hair. He knew he needed to get up and dress for bed, and he could probably use a shower, but he couldn't bring himself to pull himself away from her increasingly curvy body and more intoxicating presence.
"Hey Draco?" She asked after a while as she stroked his hair.
"Yes?"
"Do we actually have any country houses?"
And just when he thought he couldn't laugh any harder, he did.