Chapter Fifteen

De-demonizing

When we got back to the Docks of Redcliff, it was only just dawn a week after we left the tower.

I was curled up against Cullen in my feline form. Twice this week, people have tried to tease him about it, but Cinder hadn't liked that at all – he shit on them. No one said a word after it was made obvious that wasn't a coincidence.

Aedan had fed the bird an extra helping of meat. When I confronted him in the dining hall, his excuse was, "If Sin is going to be shitting on people he's going to need more in his stomach."

The bird cooed and rubbed against him affectionately – no one even glanced at Cullen after that. The Templar in question had also taken a liking to the bird – at least one meal a day would see Sin on Cullens' shoulder, nibbling from his hand. And if Cullen went to the deck for training? Well, that bird would drag me along as a perch – not that I minded watching Cullen train in a cotton shirt soaked in sweat.

When Cullen woke up – me at his side and sin by his head – he began petting me… our morning ritual, it seemed. I purred, letting him know I was awake. Our roommate – another male Templar – snorted and said, "I still don't get how you're so… relaxed about her having magic. Especially not after what happened."

Cullen shot him a look, "She went through part of it with me, Reed. In fact – she may have had it worse. You don't know what happened – you weren't there – so don't act like you do."

"I heard enough of it, Rutherford. Demons and blood mages – torture. I was there when she stitched you up, I saw the marks."

I shifted and snuggled into Cullen saying, "Then you know I'm immune to demons and by extension can't use blood magic. Good Morning, my love."

He flushed lightly and replied, "Good morning, my lady. Reed, if it weren't for her, we'd all be dead or worse. Drop this."

The mad shook his head, "Way I hear it, she just played whore while her people…"

Cullen had shot off the bed and decked the man. It happened so quick I shouted. Greagoir and Alistair were the first people into the room. They restrained Cullen and Greagoir snapped, "What in Andrastes' name is going on in here?"

Reed tried to speak but with a broken nose the words sounded odd, "He hit me!"

And Cullen was speaking too, "He insulted her!"

Greagoir shouted, "Enough! Lady Stormlight, what was this all about?"

"Magic and whores. Well… more to the point, it was an argument about me. Ser Reed provoked my fiancée by calling me a whore after asking him why he put up with my magic."

"Fiancée…?" Reed paled, only now realizing the extent of his mistake.

Greagoir looked horrified and Alistair stalked toward the man, "You called her that? She is a Duchess with ties to the king of another world. You had to know bad-mouthing a woman to her betrothed was a bad idea!"

"I didn't know she was…" Reed began but Greagoir cut in again, "Reed, I thought better of you than this. Lady Stormlight is protected by the Chantry – not to mention the troubles she incurred rescuing us. When we return to the Tower, I will be having you reassigned – you won't be allowed a post in Ferelden or Kirkwall."

I spoke, "Don't send him to White Spire either – there is a mage there that looks like you, Knight-commander… I have a feeling Reed would take it out on him."

Greagoir – to his credit – froze for only a half-second to process my words before nodding, "Ostwick seems like it might need a new Templar… in the Chantry."

Reed cried out, "That's a career killer!"

Cullen snorted, "The Divine personally wrote to Lady Stormlight to ensure her protection, Reed; what did you think you could gain from this?"

The man shot me a vile look. I stood and looked out the porthole, "Looks like we're docking. Greagoir, before we get to the castle, I feel I must warn you… I gave the Warden-Constable, Lyna Mahariel, full say over Jowans' fate. I feel he is better to be set to the Circle, to become a Tranquil… I don't hold with ill-gotten magics at all. Demons leave a bitter taste in my gut… but Lyna is evaluating him for the Wardens as… this is a Blight. As Constable, she has full use of the Right of Conscription too. I'm certain that most of our group would see him sent with you, but Lyna is a wild-card – I have no idea what she will vote. And she was one of the ones with Duncan during that… incident, so she does know what he's done."

Cullen and Greagoir both had dark faces by the time I finished speaking. Cullen was the one to ask, "Why are you letting her choose?"

"It's complicated – when this blight is over, I won't be the commander anymore; she will. She needs to lead occasionally. Even Alistair has taken point at times to help his preparations for the throne. I had to go to the Tower to get all of you, so I couldn't evaluate him myself."

"Why evaluate him at all?" Reed spat. I sighed, "Darkspawn are week to blood magic. This was discovered at Ostagar by a mage I the kings' army who had been an apostate."

Alistair shot me a confused look, "Do you mean… no, you can't mean her…"

"Marian Hawke was a blood mage. I saw her get cut down – she was in the third company. She was Garretts' twin sister. He knew the minute I mentioned Carver was okay, but I didn't mention his her at first that… well, there was more than one reason he let me share his bed. Grief needs an outlet."

I heard Aedan cough from the doorway, "You're saying that… you gave him a pity fuck?"

I shrugged, "First time with a guy in a long time – I could have had worse… it could have been you, for example."

He put his hand over his heart as we all left the room, "You wound me, Commander! I thought you liked me."

I smirked, "From the fact that Leli makes no noise at night… either you two are not having fun – or you're no good."

He flushed, "We haven't gotten to that yet!"

Cullen was watching me – he had known I slept with Hawke, now he knew for sure it wasn't that I was in love with the man. Sin cooed from Cullens' shoulder and we all looked at the bird who was nudging the Templar.

"What is it, Sin?" Cullen asked. I chuckled as the bird fluffed his wings, "He's offering you a feather."

Alistair and Aedan gaped, "That bird hasn't even offered you one!" Aedan cried.

Greagoir looked confused, "What is the significance?"

Alistair spoke, "When a Phoenix offers someone a feather and they take it… it grants fire immunity for life, she said."

I nodded, "Phoenixes are Avatars of Fire; no fire can harm them – even dragon flames pale in comparison to the flame of a Phoenix. Cinder seems to think of Cullen as family now, hence the offer."

"What if someone just… took one?" Reed asked with interest. I chuckled, "If they managed to get past the flames that encase the body of the bird in the first place, the feather is useless. It has to be offered. All the thief would manage to do is piss of the bird and earn an early death with a side of extra crisp."

The bird in question fluffed his wing toward Cullen again. I looked at the hesitant Templar and said, "If you don't accept, it's an insult – you'd be denying him as family."

Cullen reached up at once and took a single purple feather. It shone for a moment and dissolved. He looked flustered, "What… is that… supposed to happen?"

I nodded, "The magics have been absorbed into you now – you will never get burnt."

We were now on the deck, heading down the plank where Zev, Leli and Daylen waited for us. Leli kissed Aedans cheek and Zev… pushed his luck.

"Ah – Bellisima, it has been dull here without you and the ever-lovely Wynne. Perchance, have you changed your mind about wanting a… massage?"

I snorted, "Lyna won't be pleased about her lover coming on to her commander. Zev, this is Cullen. Cullen, this is my pet assassin."

Zev looked Cullen over, "I see; I cannot compete with such a lovely specimen… do you think you might share him?"

Cullen flushed and Cinder spat a fire nugget at Zev. Zev dodged and laughed, "Even the bird gets jealous!"

We all walked to the castle – Cullen had taken my arm in his and refused to let me go. I saw Zev smirking as he watched that – and Alistair looked a bit… pouty.

When we got to the castle, Jowan was… walking free? Not actually a good sign. Greagoir shot me a worried glance so I said, "Wardens – front and Center!"

Alistair and Aedan were obviously the first to be lined up, followed closely by Daylen. Lyna and Sereda came over swiftly.

I looked at them and said, "Lyna, report."

She saluted, "Connor had to be subdued, Commander. As the only Entropic mage here, Morrigan took point and showed Jowan how to do it too – hence the reason the Blood Mage is not in the dungeons at this moment. We've still had Sten and Sereda keeping an eye on him. I've considered and decided against conscripting him. He freely admits to his use of blood magic and also his role in poisoning the Arl. For the time being, I set the request that he not be made tranquil or put to death until a Landsmeet can be held – his testimony against Loghain as the one who hired him to administer the poison in the first place may prove useful. Other than having to subdue the boy, we've had no problems."

I nodded, "Greagoir, put a Templar – not Reed – on Jowan… but I will ask that you honor the request."

Greagoir relaxed and said, "As long as you swear not to recruit him, I will hold off on the rite of Tranquility until after you call your Landsmeet."

I nodded and looked back to my people. "Morrigan, dear – did you have any troubles?"

She looked amused, "Not one."

Irving glanced at her and I said, "Don't think about it Irving – make that accusation and she's gone like the wind."

He nodded slowly.

"Daylen, did you prep for the ritual?"

He nodded, "Everything is set – other than the Lyrium and Mages, of course."

"Good – you're the one going in. And I swear, Daylen, that demon better be dead when you come out or I will feed you to the Templars."

"You say that as though there would be another choice." He replied drily. I smirked, "Good. Sereda, find somewhere for this specific Templar to… cool his heels. He was recently attacked by my fiancée for insulting my character."

At once Sten said, "Then I wish to challenge him to a duel."

I snorted, "He is not worthy of dying to you – he was not worthy of dying to Cullen."

Sten nodded, though most of the visitors had paled. "You are correct, then – he is not worthy."

Sereda said, "What kind of place did you have in mind, commander. The dungeons have some entrails and bodies, but it's still habitable… somewhat."

Reed looked sick and I shook my head, "No, poor man got a career killer assignment for his insult. Just put him in a room and set a guard or two."

Teagan said, "I'll provide the guards. Your king was using the makers holy light in the fight two weeks ago – no one will like that you were insulted."

Irving and Greagoir turned to look at me, "The… Holy Light?"

I shrugged, "He is a Holy Priest – but Azeroth is another world, all priests have that ability."

Reed looked at me with growing horror, "He's a chosen one?"

"No, my cousin Inas is chosen – Anduin is just blessed with Holy magic."

Cullen snorted, "I would have said you were the chosen one with the two godly blessings you have."

I flushed, "Pop Cenarius and Lady Elune were likely just giving me a chance to live. That doesn't make me chosen."

Alistair coughed, "You said Cenarius was a Demi-God of nature and originator of Druidic magic… but you call him Pop?"

"Not to his face – he prefers grandfather… but that sounds so stiff and formal for a man whose lower half is that of an animal… a stag to be specific, which is why antlers are his symbol. That's why I call him pop or pops… sounds more natural and is less of a mouthful than Grandfather Cenarius."

"Are you actually related to him?" Irving asked.

"Fuck no, and thank the gods for that. Cenarius loves to dote on me these days – he didn't use to and I can't actually pinpoint when that change happened. No, Pop just trained my Uncle in the ways of the Druid – that's his whole relation to my family."

Two guards approached, "Your Grace."

I thought nothing of it… until I realized they were addressing me. I nodded, "Would you take Reed here to his room… and make sure he stays there until the Circles contingent is ready to leave?"

"Yes your grace." One said as they bowed and took control of the man.

"Now, Irving dear, it's time to see to the final preparations for the ritual. Connors room is on the second floor. Follow Lyna, she'll take you there. Alistair, be a sweetie and go have the kitchen make something for lunch? None of us had breakfast and I'm hypoglycemic."

Cullen froze, "What does that mean?"

"I have problems with low blood sugar – I need to eat often to keep my strength up since glucose, or blood sugar, is the bodies main energy source."

"What happens if you don't eat enough?" Sereda asked.

I thought for a second to recall the information, "My heartbeat can be too slow or too fast, I'll get fatigued, pale, shaky, sweaty, irritable and hungry… anxiety will flare. As it worsens, I can become confused or unable to complete simple tasks, my vision could blur, and I could have fits of seizures or even lose consciousness."

"Were you born with this?" Aedan asked. I shook my head, "No – there are several ways to get it. Side effects of some medications, excessive drinking of alcohol without eating, a rare growth in the pancreas – the organ that regulates your blood sugar – hormone deficiencies caused from birth or growths of specific tumors… or illnesses in the areas of the liver or kidney. I got mine from Long-term starvation which caused my body to not gain the nutrients it needed for so long that my body just… couldn't cope and tried to reset to the minimal food intake."

Cullen looked horrified, "How long have you…"

"4,000 years. It's not treatable in either Azeroth or Thedas. So I just have to eat regularly and make sure I always have a snack like item on hand for if I miss a meal."

"… Is that why you snagged a piece of bread on our way off the ship?" Greagoir asked softly. I nodded, "It'll hold me over to lunch. Normally I would I eat something high in sugar to compensate, but I had something super sweet late in the night."

Cullen flushed, "So it was you that took my tiny cake!"

I winked at him, "Can you blame me?"

He shook his head with a small smile, "Not at all."

Sten asked, "This is a medical problem that developed from your time being tortured years ago?"

Greagoir hissed out a breath as I nodded, "I was fed maybe once a day and it wasn't exactly food that was high in nutrition values. Only when I got pregnant did they start feeding me more often – though the quality was still… questionable."

The poor commander looked sick… as did several others around us. Teagan was the one who voiced the question I could see on many faces, "My Lady… how can you talk of this so openly?"

"It was 4 thousand years ago – or did you miss that part? Sure I was held for 2 centuries, but I worked through it after a few decades. In fact, one of my coping mechanisms was dating only women. I think it was worse for me because the alliance was… unaware that the Forsaken had such urges until then. I had thought I was relatively safe from them."

Cullen held me, "You said you met your sons recently?"

Teagan laughed, "Those boys were very helpful in our defense of the village. The two tall red-headed ones right; the ones who took Bella with them when they left?"

I nodded, "They're hunters – though Asthan is also an Alchemist."

"Wait – they came, saved the village with you and took a woman as payment?" one Templar sneered.

"Actually, Bella was flirting with me first. When the two men caught her interest, she was caught hook, line and sinker. She went willingly – and is getting her own bar in a floating city." I glared.

"Floating City… right, sure." The man scoffed. I stepped closer to him, "Believe what you will, but if you slander my sons I will make sure you can scratch your balls through your lips."

Cullen coughed and a few men shifted. The Templar nodded and looked away "Yes, your Grace."

I heard Lyna speak from a doorway, "Commander – the mages have sent Daylen into the fade. The ritual is set to keep him in there until the demon is gone."

I nodded, "Thank you, constable. Greagoir, send a few of your Templars to the room – just in case. I trust Daylen, but who knows what might happen without proper supervision?" he nodded and motioned to 3 of the remaining 4 Templars – ones that weren't Cullen – and I sat at a table. "Okay – Lyna, you've been on edge since my return. Why?"

She flinched, "There was… something I left out of my report, Commander. Someone from the Chantry arrived. She's a revered mother or something, says she came directly from the Grand Cathedral – Leliana recognized her, at least."

I sighed, "What does she want?"

"She said she was assigned to you, Commander. Said that someone…"

"I do believe I said that the most Holy, Divine Beatrix III, has personally taken an interest in the appearance of a seer and has thus assigned me to shadow Lady Stormlight in case any needs arise. As someone with the full protection of the Chantry, it is expected to have at least one Chantry emissary in her entourage."

"I have a Lay sister named Leliana, is that not enough?" I asked. The woman who had spoken was 5'5 with brown hair and matching brown eyes. Her skin was a tanned color ad she wore chantry robes.

"Sister Nightingale never took any vows… so no." the woman replied. Her accent was somewhat thick.

"Fine – what's your name?" I sighed. "Mother Roselle."

"Well, Roselle – you will be staying here in Redcliff. I can't, in good conscious, allow you to travel with us if you have no fighting expertise. We will be facing werewolves, dragons, cultists, darkspawn and even political shit-storms."

She looked startled, "I… I was chosen because I can act as an alchemist for health poultices…"

I shrugged, "Your potions got nothing on mine; not to mention we have two healers in our group. How about this – if you agree to keep to Redcliff, then when we go for the Temple of Sacred Ashes, I'll bring you with. But you must keep to Redcliff at all other times during this blight."

"The… the temple of… it would be an honor! I will agree to your terms and write to the Divine at once!"

People were gaping at me. Cullen asked, "You're really going to the Temple?"

"Isolde, I know you're listening – come, tell us; why do we need to go there?"

"Nothing else will wake Eamon…" she said softly.

"And why not?" I pushed.

"Between the poison and Connors deal with the demon… he will stay as he is, alive and unwell, forever otherwise."

I nodded, "And we need Eamon, so thus, we need the ashes."

Roselle looked excited, "You know where it is?"

"A name for the village, yes. But I need to visit a specific house in Denerim for a better location – and that's our next destination. I'll be sure to pick you up on our way back through. You have my word, Roselle. But as I said, if you can't fight, I can't risk you being with us as we get out treaties enacted."

She nodded like a bobble-head, "Of course, Lady Stormlight. I admit, I didn't have high hopes for this assignment, but… if we really find the Temple, I will consider my life complete."

I waved my hand, "Hold off on writing to the Divine. She will send a team and right now that temple is over-run by a Dragon Cult. The Ashes are safe, but the Dragon they worship has been allowed to breed so…"

She nodded, "That would be wise, then…" but I could see that she would still write to the Divine; this would be used as my test – was I really a seer?

Alistair came back with a plate of food. My eyes lit up when I saw a damn steak – rare, just as I liked it – with a side of green beans and mashed potatoes with butter.

"Thank you! This is perfect."

"I thought you needed sugar…?" Cullen asked.

"Sugar is good, yeah – but all food has natural sugars. Protein, like steak, and carbs, like potatoes, work just as well. Add in a helping of vegies and I will be good to go!"

Roselle asked, "Need… sugar?"

Cullen explained while I ate. Roselle looked stumped, "4… thousand… years…"

I swallowed the last bite of food and said, "Yeah. Actually I'm more than double that age."

She looked ready to pass out, poor woman… I had that effect on people.

Daylen came sweeping in, "It's done – Demon tried to make a deal – with me! Can you believe that? Well I mean, you kind of warned me, so I guess you can… but really! I feel highly insulted!"

I snorted, "It was a desire demon, right? What did she offer?"

"That's what I don't get, commander – she offered me things I would never want. Position as Commander of the Grey, place as First Enchanter or even Grand Enchanter – I don't want that! Why would I want the headache of paperwork? Now if she offered me a chance to be with Morrigan – start a family, so on – that would have been tempting."

"She can't offer you things that you already have, Amell…" I said.

He blinked, "What?"

"You are already in a relationship with the brat – she can't offer you that. And Grey wardens suffer reduced fertility, yes, but it isn't impossible to conceive a child. You may get that wish sooner than you might think."

He smiled, "I… well, still – why would she offer me things I don't want?"

"Because you're already happy – it's why I picked you to go. She had nothing that could temp you. You have everything you could want."

Greagoir coughed, "A… that would be a good plan, actually. Against a desire demon, picking someone that has everything they want already…"

"And even if I weren't immune to demons, I would be perfect against despair and Pride demons. I've hit rock-bottom; despair can't do anything that hasn't already been done. Pride is useless against me because I had to work four times as hard as anyone to get where I am – I worked for it. I am already proud. Sloth would have been useless too – I can't stand sitting around doing nothing. Desire, however… now there is a demon that could have done something to me – hence why, when the tower fell, it was the only one to sense anything from me. To the others I was dead weight, but desire could sense me."

Cullen flushed at the memory, "I… remember that. But it couldn't do anything to you."

Daylen shot me a teasing grin, "What did it sense from you commander?"

"My desire for Cullen – he is rather handsome, no?" I smirked. Roselle actually smiled, "Have you two gotten married yet?"

Daylen gaped, "I'm sorry, what?"

I pulled out the letter and handed it to him – my whole group gathered to read it.

Lyna giggled, "So you got permission to marry him – a mage and a Templar, who'd have thought?"

I snorted, "He's handsome and a good snuggler. But no, Mother, we're waiting until we have a chance to court first. I asked for his hand for personal reasons that no longer apply."

She deflated but was good at hiding it.

Teagan and Isolde pulled me aside before dinner, Teagan spoke first, "So… it is over; Connor is back to his old self and does not seem to remember anything – a blessing to be sure. I suppose we should send him to the Circle of Magi for… training, once the war is over. It is quite odd to think of him as a Mage. Eamon has much to mourn and rebuild should he recover – but at least he can be thankful that his son, wife and most of his people are still alive. I owe you my deepest thanks, My Lady."

Isolde spoke next, "Thank you, Lady Stormlight, I am grateful for your willingness to help my husband. There is an Andrastian scholar in Denerim – Brother Genitivi – he has been researching the Urns location for several years. The knights that have returned say they were unable to find him, but perhaps you…"

I nodded and looked at Teagan, "You will begin the rebuilding – as Eamons sole heir at the moment, it falls to you to run Redcliff in his… absence. Begin building a good rapport with those in the Arling – if we are to put things right, we must begin at once. See to it the militia is ready for the battle – I will donate 30 Sovereigns to that effort." I handed him the money I had set apart.

The man nodded and said, "I will see to it first thing in the morning, my lady."

"Enough of the damn titles! Call me Atarah or Ara – or commander… I hate the My Lady and Your Grace titles. I only accepted the title so people would have a harder time trying to kill me, for fucks sake." My voice a bit loud and I flushed when people looked at me in amusement.

I took my seat and Cullen pushed my chair in – I was really liking the chivalry here…

Alistair was to my right and Cullen took the seat to my left. Isolde gave me a weak smile. Connor spoke, looking at me, "You're the one who saved me, right?"

I chuckled, "No, cub; that would be Daylen." He turned to the man I motioned to and bowed his head, "Thank you."

Daylen grinned, "My pleasure."

My hand shot out to keep Cullen from eating. He blinked in confusion, "Is something wrong?"

"Your plate has been poisoned."

"Mine? Why mine?" he put the fork back down and someone came to collect the plate. I looked around, "It seems someone doesn't like me. With our conversations around this place, they'd know I could save myself in half a second – but you? I might have noticed too late in their eyes."

I stood and walked over to the server at the door, "Who had access to that plate?"

"I… I don't know miss." She dipped. I nodded, "Then go find out – I believe you. Take two guards with you – I want whoever did this brought to me at once."

She curtsied and rushed off with two guards at her heel. Greagoir spoke, "You have a guess, don't you?"

"Same as yours, I'm afraid. This wouldn't have happened otherwise."

Roselle looked horrified, "Who would do such a thing?"

Cullen, Irving, Greagoir and I all spoke at once, "Reed."

And sure enough – that's who was dragged into the room screaming that the guards would pay for dragging him.

"Reed… did you think we were so stupid? You're the only one here that didn't know of my abilities to see the future. Your pathetic attempt not only failed, Cullen was stopped before he took a single bite."

He paled, "That… that's why the chantry…"

"Yes – that's why they have me under protection. Now, Reed – we've tried to play nice… you were just going to be relocated, but now? Tsk, tsk… Greagoir, what do you think?"

Roselle was the one who spoke, "Actually, as Divine Beatrix set me for you, and it was you that was that was the ultimate target, this matter falls to me… I'd send him to the Grand Cathedral or hold him until the Divine can send people for him."

Greagoir nodded, "He will be put in the Circle dungeons until the blight is over and the Divine can send people."

Roselle nodded, "I will inform the most holy of this development."

I gave a firm nod, "I have something that will keep him… from getting out of hand. Just say the word."

Irving looked alarmed, "What is it?"

"Just a pair of hand cuffs that are impossible to break by someone like him. Sten and I could probably do it – it has nothing to do with physical strength, you see."

Sten looked at the brown metal cuffs I pulled from my void storage with interest. I locked them onto Reed and handed Greagoir the key. "This is one of my own inventions. I had Inas enchanting as I worked the metal. The metal doesn't matter, but the enchantment has to be done during the forging for it to work. Once they're broken, they can be put back together if you slip the key in the lock – but as I said, he won't break it."

"What's the function?" Irving asked, inspecting the cuffs on reed while the man glared at me.

"Just keeping him from escape – too far from the key and he gets knocked out. It's completely painless, of course. So whoever holds the key must be within 1000 paces. Meaning, you have to give the key to whoever is watching the man while he wears those cuffs."

Greagoir nodded and so I stretched, "Cullen – after we eat, can we spend another night cuddling before you have to go? I have always slept better when I was cuddling with someone or some-beast. I have Shana, sure, but humanoids are preferable."

He flushed but agreed as he received a new plate.