Chapter 8: Finding You Could Change

What have I done? Why was I so stupid? Sully walked briskly through the winding trees, kicking at stones and sticks that found themselves in his path. Pain and anguish pushed him onward towards an indefinable destination. He dared not to look back, for fear of seeing her beautiful face smiling and welcoming him back; back towards what his heart ached for, yet also what his heart ached against. I can not love her...the last time I loved another, I caused them an early death...I can't do that to her as well..."I wont." Sully screamed into the darkness of the night as he fell down to his knees and kneeled on the forest floor. Memories of his painful past tangled with pictures of her face, which slowly morphed into one image, where she lay dying in that car.

Alone. She was alone, physically and emotionally. The tears would not ebb, instead they would fall faster and bigger with every attempt she took at stopping them. "He wouldn't leave me, not like this! He just wouldn't do that...right?" Michaela whispered to herself, causing a cloud of vaporization to form and flow out from her mouth. Fear nipped at her, like the bitting wind and frigid air which smothered Michaela. She was confused and lost with her feelings for Sully already; and now he had walked away, leaving her even more flummoxed, in addition to being embarrassed and hurt.

Her heart begged for her to run after him and talk out their confusions and fears. But Michaela's thoughts dwelled on the fact that this entire situation had been caused by the following of her heart. She was stuck. Michaela could not force herself to run to him, nor could she find her way home. It was as if tar had formed around her legs and she could go nowhere, nor do anything.

Wind scorched her rosy cheeks as it whipped around her stiff body; and Michaela could feel the descent in the temperature as time progressed. She knew that for their own health, both Sully and her had to get to somewhere warm before they got sick or worse from the intense elements of nature. Mustering up her courage and strength, Michaela began to walk in the direction Sully had gone. Unfortunately, Michaela knew nothing of tracking nor did she know anything about the area. She had set off in a direction that was unbeknownst to anyone, including herself.

The extreme drop in temperature went unnoticed to Sully, as he sat in the snow and stared at the bark of the tree, not really seeing it. Why did this have to happen? Why did Michaela have to be pulled into this torture? She doesn't deserve this...she doesn't need me, and I'm surely not worthy of her...I'll never be there for her, like she needs me to be; I've done nothing but disappoint and lose everyone who ever counted on me...I can't let that happen to her as well.

Sully gazed up at the heavens longingly. Seeing the millions of stars glittering mockingly at him, reminded Sully of the gleam of brilliance that beamed in Michaela's eyes when she first saw the valley. Sully closed his eyes to the taunting sky and brought his gaze back down to his close surroundings. A gelid breeze wound through the trees, causing them to tremble to their roots. The wind smacked Sully square in the face, jolting him from his revery. A shiver went down his spine when he noticed how ungodly cold it was now.

Oh God...Michaela, I left you... Sully rose quickly from knees and sprinted off in the direction from whence he came. He climbed the hill up towards the ridge as quickly as his legs could trek through the foot of snow which lay on the ground. Fear ran through his veins when he reached the top finding no Michaela. Sully ran back to where he had left Walks Above, but she was not there either. His eyes scanned through the trees in hopes of finding her close by, waiting for him. But his luck was not as grand as his desires. Carefully, Sully searched the ground for a trace of Michaela and her whereabouts. Finally, he found the imprint of her footprints in the snow, and he let them be his guide to her.

Fear for her safety overwhelmed him and he thought only of getting to her on time. He would not let his negligence be the cause of another's death again; especially not Michaela's. Heart pounding from exertion as well as angst, Sully forced himself to slow down and catch his breath for a second. Breathing heavily, he scanned the area for any sign of Michaela. Suddenly, he did a double take. There was something lying in the snow, under a white-barked tree. Sully dashed over to it, knowing in his heart what it was; but he could only hope for better fortune than what his anticipations foretold. He kneeled beside the small figure, and with trembling hands, he pushed a bit of fabric away to see the face which he both hoped and dreaded for.

The face was as pale as the snow that fell around it, and the heat that once put a rosy glint in the cheeks was fading fast. The face was indeed Michaela's, cold and still. Sully quickly unbuttoned his jacket then took Michaela out of hers. Taking her into his arms, Sully held Michaela close to his chest, giving up his own body heat for her, and lay her coat on the side of her that still lay exposed.

Sully knew he needed to get her warm quickly, but not too quickly. Otherwise, she could go into shock or her skin tissue might be forever scarred. Bundling her in his arms, Sully stood and began to walk in the opposite direction he had come from. There wasn't enough time to get her back to his home; but he knew of a small cabin just beyond the ridge. The cabin had not been occupied for a few years now, but it was a blessing to Sully and Michaela. As he turned the bend, Sully saw the cabin and memories flashed through his mind instantly at the site. But he pushed those out of his mind for the moment, and all his concentration was put back on Michaela.

Sully kicked the door open with his foot and entered the rustic, one-room cabin. The stale smell of dust and wood smothered him as he walked over to the old cot, which stood in the far corner beside the small fireplace, and placed Michaela gently on it. Briskly, Sully grabbed a few left over logs from the previous occupant, and lay them in the hearth while striking a stray match on a splint. Once flames began to flare from the logs, Sully turned back to Michaela..

Grabbing an extra blanket at the foot of the bed, Sully wrapped Michaela, coats and all, with the blanket. Once he was certain that she was as comfortable as possible, Sully stood and walked across the creaking, wooden floorboards to a distressed cupboard. There he found a small pot, that he could use to heat water with, as well as some old rags and bits of cloth. Stepping outside for but a moment, Sully scooped some snow up with the pot. Before heading back inside, he glanced up at the suddenly ominous looking sky. It appeared that the wind, which was still picking up speed, had brought along with it a rather fierce snow storm, which Sully estimated would arrive within the next ten minutes. Sighing heavily, Sully carried the snow filled pot inside and over to the fireplace, where he placed the pot beside the dancing flames.

For a moment, Sully just stared at Michaela, before he began the task of re-warming her. He knew that he had to act quickly without hesitation; however, he was still so afraid of letting her down, or worse losing her. Sully shut his eyes firmly, grasping his remaining courage, then he opened them determinately and began the procedure. Carefully and gently, Sully removed the blanket and coats from Michaela's body, as well as any exterior clothing, leaving Michaela in her camisole and jeans.

Sully lay his hand on her forehead; she felt slightly warmer than before, but her core temperature was still obviously under what it needed to be. He snatched one of the rags and dipped it into the warm water that had formed in the once snow filled pot. After wringing the cloth out he brought it carefully to Michaela's arm, where he began to softly caress her cold skin with the warmth of the cloth.

Darkness and chills swirled in her mind. She felt as if she was falling and spiraling out of control down a cliff to her death. She wanted to scream out, but her muscles ached from the cold, and she didn't have the strength to move. Oddly enough, Michaela suddenly felt a warm, trickling, feeling, massaging her skin. What is happening to me? Oh...where am I... Michaela's brain raked her memories, but she had no recollection of what had happened to her. Sully...oh, where is Sully? Her heart called out. Then her diminutive amnesia disappeared and she remembered the nights events. The kiss...

Michaela mustered her energy as she moaned. "Sully..."

Sully nearly fell into the fireplace when he heard Michaela utter his name. "Michaela...Michaela stay with me...you're ok...you're gonna be fine...just don't leave me ok?"

Michaela squinted into brightness of the room and found Sully's silhouette kneeling before her, before muttering the words of her broken heart. "You...you left me..."

A lump formed in Sully's throat when he heard the words slip from her mouth. In his attempt to protect her from being hurt, Sully had done nothing but caused Michaela pain. Sully realized that the only person he was protecting was himself, and he knew what he had to now. The time had come for change. "I know Michaela...I'm so, so sorry...I wasn't thinking...I tried to protect ya from myself...but it was selfish of me ta leave ya." Sully clasped her cool, delicate, hand in his own, and stared into the vastness of her eyes, deep into her soul. "Michaela...I can't offer ya much, but I will promise ya one thing...I'll never leave ya...ever again..."

His words spoke to her soul and the trust and truth in his eyes spoke volumes to her heart. Weak and stiff from the cold that had not yet ebbed from her body, Michaela smiled and nodded slightly. "I know, Sully."

Sully brought his hand up to lightly caress her face, and he knew that now was the time to tell her. He needed to move on. He needed to let his heart be free from the chains of the past that oppressed it. "Michaela...there's one more thing I've gotta tell ya...when I kissed ya...I...I didn't expect it to happen or anything...but...God, Michaela...I wanted it. I don't know how to tell ya how I feel right now, I've never been one for words...but..." Sully shook his head trying to think of how to go about saying something that was so simple, yet so complicated.

Michaela saw the frustration in the features of his face, and she knew what was coming. Tears found their way back to her eyes; only this time they were put there by a very different emotion. Michaela lightly squeezed Sully's hand in reassurance.

Sully took a deep breath before the plunge, and stared into her hazel and auburn streaked eyes. "Michaela...I...I love you."

Silence ensued as the word echoed in her soul and her heart did a full out flip inside of her chest. Michaela found it hard to breath, for it felt as if something was compressing her chest and lungs. But her soul told her that she needed to speak, she needed to reply to his testimony with her own. Tears swelled and overflowed in her eyes, and a smile broadened on her joyous face. "Sully...I love you too."

Testimonies met, as did souls and hearts; and lips came crashing together in celebration of the newly admitted love. Passion consumed both beings, as soul mates found one another. But the kiss was cut short, when Michaela fell back onto the cot, weak from the small exertion she had put out. She smiled slightly at Sully before she closed her eyes and gave in to the parlous sleep that tempted her so.

Sully felt her slip away from him, and he looked at her bewildered. It wasn't until he saw her eyes cloud over and sink into a deep sleep that he realized what was happening. He was losing her. "NO MICHAELA! DON"T LEAVE ME!" Once more, silence deafened the room; and Sully's world was lost to him, as fear for his loved one mounted.