Chapter Sixteen

Onward to Paperwork

When Cullen and the others left that next morning, we did too. They had taken Jowan and Reed, but swore that Jowan wouldn't be made tranquil until after the Landsmeet. Before leaving, I made sure to make a stop by the Arls' study… now to find the right time to give it to him.

I had taken my group with the intention of hitting Ostagar and the Dalish on the way to Denerim – why not?

As we reached the road outside the village, Morrigan pulled me aside.

"I have been studying mothers' grimoire…"

"Ah, time to go kill her then. Good timing, I guess – we'll be right there while we clear Ostagar."

She looked at me, startled, "You knew…"

"That she possesses her daughters? Yeah – but you were never actually in danger from it. You see, a soul cannot be forced on the unwilling. So long as you don't want it you're safe."

"I would still feel better if…"

"Say no more – I'll lop her dragon head off and make a staff from her horns for you."

I heard someone sputtering behind me so I glanced. Poor Alistair had come upon our little talk.

"I… came to tell you that dinner is… who are you going to kill?"

"Flemeth, dear – I'm going to kill Morrigans mother. It's a hired hit." I winked. Morrigan, catching the tease in my voice said, "Quite – I offered to name my firstborn after her."

"No, no – his name will be Kieran! If you must pay me back, simply attempt teach me the shape-changer magics. I'm a druid, so animal forms are a part of me. Even if I don't hold magics of Thedas, I should be able to do that."

She nodded, "I can do that. Thank you."

I nodded and she walked off. Alistair sighed, "Are we really going to attack the witch of the wilds?"

"Don't worry so much – Flemeth will live over it. She's got a special amulet going out of the country that holds a piece of her essence… long story short – and don't tell Morrigan – all we're doing is making it so that she keeps to one body rather than two."

Alistair nodded, "So… you're killing someone without killing them?"

I smiled, "Now you're getting it! Hey… what do you think of Sereda?"

"Sereda? Well, for an exiled princess she seems quite laid back in allowing others to lead."

"No, no, hun – I was more asking on your thoughts of her… as a woman. Would you find her attractive? Or would you start a relationship with her if she were agreeable?"

He went bright red, "Well… she is… rather lovely… but… no, I don't think I could see myself with her. She's already stated she won't have a relationship with a human, for one thing – for another, she's in love with her former second… I heard her planning to seek him out when we get to Denerim since he said he was headed there. Besides, I would rather try my luck with… with you."

I smiled, "Is that so?"

He coughed, "I mean I… well, that is…"

"Is your stance on Sereda solely because of own thoughts?"

"Well, no… I figure I'm a bit tall for something like that… and I have to be king – did you know that the nobles are more forgiving of Elven paramours than of Dwarven ones? There is also the matter of… well; I just don't… like her that way. Makers' breath, how did we even come to this conversation?"

I chuckled, "I was attempting to play matchmaker – but if she's not your type, there's nothing else I can do. Poor Sereda…"

"Poor… I'm not that much of a catch…" he muttered.

"No, not that – Gorim is married with a kid on the way by the time we get to Denerim."

He flinched, "Poor Sereda, indeed, then. Oh, I have something for you… you know what this is?"

The cheesy bastard handed me a Rose. I was stunned – here I was trying to hook him up with someone else and he just… wow…

"I… is it your new weapon of choice?" I bit my lip.

"Yes, that's right; watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent! Or, you know, it could just be a rose – I know that's pretty dull in comparison…"

I noticed at least half our group listening in and openly watching – Alistair had not noticed this yet so I grinned and replied, "Oh, I don't know – sentiment can be a pretty potent weapon."

"Is it that easy to see right through me? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I picked it in Lothering. I just… I remember thinking, 'How can something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' Honestly, I probably should have left it alone – at least I wouldn't have embarrassed myself to Morrigan asking her to preserve it – but I just… couldn't. The darkspawn would have come and their taint would have destroyed it… I've had it since."

I noticed that the only female unaffected was Morrigan. Sereda and Lyna were cooing softly to each-other and Leliana looked enamored. Half the guys looked like they should have thought of giving a flower – Zev looked intrigued, Daylen looked stunned and Aedan was groaning.

I placed the flower in my hair, "It's a nice sentiment – I like it."

He flushed and looked down as he wrung his hands, "I… I was thinking that I wanted to give it to you… because… in a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you…"

I smirked, "Felling just a little thorny are we?"

I heard sniggers through the camp and Alistair laughed – meaning he didn't hear the others, "Wow! 'She'll never see through that,' I told myself – boy was I wrong."

"I love it, Alistair – it's lovely… roses are actually my favorite flower…"

"I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking, here I am always doing all the complaining and you haven't exactly had a good time of it yourself. You may not be a Joined Warden… but you are a warden, regardless… and you've had none of the good experiences – not really. It's been all death and tragedy and fighting. I thought I could say something; tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this… darkness. "

I chuckled, "You know – I think I feel the same way about you."

"I'm glad…" his face flushed and I could see him debate it… before he actually said, "Now… if we could move right o past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it."

I heard the others all choking as I laughed, "Sounds good – off with the armor then."

"Ha-ha, ha-ha… bluff called – damn, you saw right through that."

"You know, you're the cutest when you're all bashful." I winked.

"I'll… I'll be… standing somewhere over there until the… blushing stops. Just to be… safe – you know how it is…"

Poor guy turned and realized the others had all heard the conversation. I giggled, "I did warn you not to play with fire, dear."

Leliana was giggling too as she said, "Aww, but Tara, it was adorable!"

"I was more talking about the last bit. He offers me to bed and it's a bluff! Damn shame, too…"

Lyna snorted, "He gave you a rose, Lethallan – not that special."

"I've never received a flower before, Lyna. I'm girly enough to want that kind of thing."

Aedan called out, "Alistair – did you give her that flower just because she mentioned it at the tower?"

"No… I just…" he was red and Cinder cooed and fluttered to his shoulder. I chuckled, "She's trying to cheer you up…"

"What? I'm okay…"

"You know what attracts me to you the most, Alistair? It isn't anything I've mentioned before – the looks, the charisma, charm or innocence…"

Morrigan scoffed, "What could he possibly have that you'd want?"

"He's a Dragon – at least by blood. Calenhad the Great was empowered by dragon blood – the Qun know of this, actually."

Sten nodded, "A Great Dragon."

I smiled, "Yes, and Great Dragon blood can grant unimaginable power. In fact, there is one Great Dragon awake in Thedas – the Queen of the Dragons. It's what began their return if I'm right… my blood is actually about on par with that of a Great Dragon, meaning I could, in theory, grant those abilities. But Alistair already has it. And because he was born with it, my soul sees him as a dragon."

Alistair was sitting stunned, "Wait… I thought that tale was a myth!"

"Nope – complete truth. It's why your father…" I shut my mouth, but it was too late.

"What about my father?" Alistair asked seriously.

"I can't fuck with the timeline! You'll find out in 9:38 Dragon – I promise."

He sighed, "You're sure?"

I gave him a look and he flinched, "Right – of course you are. Stupid question."

I heard Morrigan snort so before she could say anything I kissed the man. He was rigid for a moment before his hand came up and cupped my cheek, kissing me back.

When he pulled away I smirked, "That wasn't too soon, was it?"

He gave a small chuckle – I had pulled his own stunt, so I was curious if he would use a line from the game; he did. "I'm not quite sure – I think I'll need more testing to be certain…"

I heard laughter behind me but rather than reply I kissed him again. When I pulled back, he said, "Makers' breath, I am a lucky man…"

I winked at him and grabbed myself a bowl of the stew Leli had made.

Reaching Ostagar was easy – finding the way in through the new reinforcements… not so much. We actually did end up coming in at the point where the infirmary so I nabbed the key to the mages' chest.

I got back to the group just in time to hear Alistair put his foot in his mouth, "Something about being back here makes me feel old, Wynne."

"And what exactly are you implying, Alistair?" she asked, sounding stern but looking amused.

"What? Noting! I just thought…"

"You just thought I might be an expert at feeling old and could share some sage advice?" I was giggling softly as Alistair shot me a pleading look.

"I… I just meant I was a different person then. I believed him, you know? That it would be… a glorious battle; that we'd win."

"I did too. We were all a little younger the last time we were here." She sighed but glanced at me. I hung my head in shame.

Alistair saved me… "Well, not you – you've always been old."

Wynne looked half amused, half annoyed, "With lip like that, son, you'll be lucky if you live to be half my age." I giggled despite myself.

Alistair shot me a pout so I said, "Hey – I can't help you when you tell a woman something like that. No one likes to hear that they're old, but women get touchy about two things – age and weight."

Leliana nodded and added, "We are all quite vain to some degree."

"There was a saying… what was it…? Oh! Women will lie about their age and their weight – 5 years off the age and 20 pounds off the weight. I don't see a point in that anymore, but for you young ones, it makes enough sense." I said.

Lyna snorted, "Why lie about it?"

Sereda said, "I guess it's a matter of wanting to seem younger and slimmer…?"

I nodded, "When I was human, I did just that. I'm fat and have no way of losing weight. It's just not possible for me. The trend of beauty was back to being slimmer is beautiful. These things go in cycles. There was a time – a few centuries before, shaving the hairline to have larger foreheads was the big thing. But I was… never really good looking."

Alistair pulled me into a hug, "You are beautiful – Cullen and I have both…"

I shook my head, "I feel like I'm fishing for compliments when you tell me that kind of thing only after I mention it. It kind of… feels hollow. Don't worry about it, hun."

He looked a bit upset but I began walking off. I heard Leliana telling him, "A woman who feels she isn't lovely needs reassurance – and not only when she mentions it. Atarah is beautiful, we all know it, but she must have felt this way for so long…"

I sighed, "My whole existence. The minute I hit puberty on Earth and then again on Azeroth… I gained weight until I looked like this no matter how well I ate or exercised. As soon as I hit 250 pounds – nearly 18 stones – I stopped growing. It was like that was a predetermined weight. I have a margin of about 20 pounds that I gain or lose, but otherwise it stays about even, no matter what. Even when I was being starved it didn't change much."

"You heard all that?" Leliana asked, shocked – she had been whispering quietly and I was quite a ways ahead of them.

"Of course – Dragons have exceptional senses. I just… am so used to it that I don't even think about it. I can distinguish individual spices in the food, tell you all apart by scent alone…"

"That is… quite extraordinary." Wynne breathed. I shrugged, "Wynne you smell like a roll of yarn and a strawberry candy… Leliana smells like Andrastes' Grace flowers and a hint of wood. I could easily find any of you in a crowded market or hunt you down if you were taken. You've all become my nest-mates; my family."

"What about me?" Lyna asked as we killed the first group of Darkspawn – the ones who held Cailans' Greaves. "Heartwood and Elfroot – a bit cliché for a Dalish Elf, but it works."

She flushed but looked happy. Alistair coughed as we gathered the greaves.

Wynne was the one to ask, "What's wrong, Alistair?"

"I don't know. It just feels wrong to find this here, pawed over by darkspawn and thick with their rot. It was his. And if this is here… where's the rest?"

"I know, I feel it too. But he is not the first king to ever fall in battle or even the first to fall to the darkspawn." She soothed. They were both watching me as I bit my lip and glanced around. Something felt… off.

"Yes but this wound cuts deeper – he was my brother."

"And it will bleed longer. But we must keep moving. No doubt the darkspawn are eager to give us plenty more reasons to mourn."

I held up a hand and whole party stopped. We were ambushed from behind.

It was a large party – 15 with a Hurlock Alpha and the Vanguard that held Cailans Shield.

Zevran asked, "I do wonder… what my scent is?"

I smirked, "Deathroot and leather polish. And before you ask Alistair, you smell like fine cheese and Star metal."

He went bright red as the others all laughed as we collected the Shield from the now dead Vanguard. I looted the Mages chest and collected the Key to the Royal Arms Chest. I gave Wynne the Staff within.

I was rummaging through the Arms chest – damn thing was deep enough to fit me in it – when I heard Alistair hiss a breath as I held out his fathers' sword.

I pulled out the papers while Alistair put the sword with its scabbard on his hip, holding the Warden sword like he no longer knew what to do with it. I rolled my eyes and put it in my void storage before pulling the letters out of the chest.

I read the first one aloud, "To his Majesty, King Cailan of Ferelden: My Warden-Commander assures me that we face a Blight. This thing threatens us both, and we must work together to fight it, lest it devour all. Our two nations have not had a happy history, but that is all it is-history. It is the future that is at stake now. Let us put aside our fathers' disagreements so that we may secure the future for both our countries. My Chevaliers stand ready and will accompany the Grey Wardens of Orlais to Ferelden. At your word the might of Orlais will march to reinforce the Ferelden forces. Sincerely, Empress Celene I. Well… damn," I sighed.

"So it's true! He had convinced the forces of Orlais to ally against the darkspawn." Alistair sighed.

Wynne nodded, "Empress Celene was merely awaiting his response."

"A response that never came and now never will, thanks to Loghain's treachery."

"Never is a long time, Alistair. Give it time and let cooler heads prevail. There will be peace between us yet."

I read off the next of the three letters, "Your Majesty, my men will arrive as soon as possible to bolster your forces. Maker willing, this Blight will be ended before it has begun. Cailan, I beseech you, as your uncle, not to join the Grey Wardens on the Field. You cannot afford to take this risk. Ferelden cannot afford it. Let me remind you again that you do not have an heir. Your death-and it pains me even to think of it-would plunge Ferelden into chaos. And yes, perhaps when this is over you will allow me to bring up the subject of your heir. While a son from both the Theirin and Mac Tir lines would unite Ferelden like no other, we must accept that perhaps this can never be. The queen approaches her thirtieth year and her ability to give you a child lessens with each passing month. I submit to you again that it might be time to put Anora aside. We parted harshly the last time I spoke of this, but it has been a full year since then and nothing has changed. Please, nephew, consider my words, and Andraste's grace be with you. It's not signed, but we all know who that one is from, don't we?" I sighed.

"Was Anora really… barren?" Wynne asked.

"No. In fact, she could yet have a child if Alistair married her – but we all know that isn't going to happen. No it was far more likely that Cailan was the one with… issues." I shrugged. It was something I had seen as a… alternate path using Clairvoyance. Alistair made a face, "You're right – that's not going to happen. From what you've said, she's truly her fathers' daughter; she has no place as Queen."

I shrugged and read the very last page, "Cailan, the visit to Ferelden will be postponed indefinitely, due to the darkspawn problem. You understand, of course? The darkspawn have odd timing, don't they? Let us deal with them first. Once that is done, we can further discuss a permanent alliance between Orlais and Ferelden. Celene. If Loghain saw this… it's too informal – Cailan may have planned to marry her after putting aside Anora. Loghain views Orlais the same way the Qunari view Tevinter. It could have pushed him over the edge."

I handed the letters to Alistair who looked them over, "Well, it looks like my brother had the same thoughts about his wife as I do."

I chuckled as I snagged Cailans Heir papers. "By my right as King of Ferelden, I hereby name my half-brother, Alistair Theirin, son of Maric, my heir. In the event of my death, he will succeed me to the throne should I have no living children at that time. Signed, Cailan Theirin – King of Ferelden. Signed Witness, Loghain Mac Tir, Tyrin of Gwaren… Holy shit, Loghain himself signed this. There are two other witness signatures, but damn…"

Alistair looked floored, "That alone – with the fact that it has Cailan and Loghains seals… this will put me on the throne and damn Anora."

We started across the bridge and when we got to the center…

We saw Cailans body then. Alistair paled and a tear rolled from his face. I threw my arms around him and he held me tightly.

Before anyone could say anything, however, the Necromancer called forth 8 skeletons to fight us. I was getting pissed and let out an oath.

"Lady Elune… if you can hear me grant your cleansing light and clear this place of its unholy inhabitants." I whispered while placing a hand to my blessing mark.

The moon began to cover the sun in an eclipse, stunning my companions. As soon as the moon was in full view, a rain of solid moonlight began to fall upon us. This ability of Elune had once been used in the Sundering, to protect her priestesses. I explained while this happened.

"No one past 2 miles from here will see that eclipse. This ability is used by the Goddess to protect those she has accepted as her Priestesses. My mark acts as a Gem of Elune – meaning she and I can communicate if there is a need. She… I'm more than just marked by her… the reason her son, Cenarius, marked me is actually because… she views me a daughter of her heart – making pops my heart-brother. He didn't like it at first – like I said, it's a recent thing that he likes me – but he had to help me live."

Alistair looked pale – actually most of them did. Zev asked, "So wait – this goddess has marked you as her daughter?"

I shrugged, "As far as most people know, I'm just a priestess. No one knows that my blessing is more complex than it seems. Let's get on, Elune tells me that the Necromancer made it inside before she could take care of him. But on the bright side, the helm and gauntlets are on dead darkspawn now, so we can grab those real quick before heading after that beast."

"That wasn't an answer, Kadan."

I sighed, "Okay, yes – I was made a Demi-goddess by Elune. She appeared by my crib one night – the mark didn't appear until I hit puberty, but I was already… she imparted her blessing on me in a way that… adopted me to her. Elune is an incorporeal goddess, but that night – the night after my birth – she took form. She was so… beautiful and in no life had I ever felt as peaceful as I did in her presence. But… she is the reason – the true reason – that I did not die when I was starved in captivity, she is the reason I am still immortal, though the Night Elves sacrificed that and I am not truly bound to the Sunwell… but if any of you tell anyone this I will deny it!"

Alistair coughed, "I can hardly believe we've been traveling with an indestructible goddess this whole time…"

I shot him a look, "I'm not invincible – obviously I can still die… I just don't stay dead. I don't even retain scars unless they're… I mean, uh…"

"Unless what?" Aedan asked looking confused as he eyes the scars hidden by my tattoos… and the one on my chest stood out quite a bit.

I shook my head as we finished gathering the two pieces of armor and headed for the tower, "I didn't mean to say…"

A voice broke through the still air around us – Elunes lyrical voice. "Self-inflicted…"

I flinched, "Great – first time she speaks to non-priestess mortals in a long time and she outs me."

I hurried forward. Morrigan said, "Those are all self-inflicted… how did you survive?"

"Magic, unfortunately – and it was a long time ago. Can we drop it?"

Sten looked weary, "Why did you do it?"

"I wanted to die… only once, however, did I do damage in a lethal area – the chest wound."

We were clearing the first floor of the tower as we spoke. Lyna said, "Lethallan… why…?"

I shook my head, "Maybe I'll explain another time, but… not now. Right now, I just want this over with."

We reached the hole where Alistair groaned, "Ugh – down the hole and into the deep. I don't even want to imagine where this leads." I coughed a laugh and he gave me a weary smirk.

We managed to not only collect Duncans Sword and Dagger… but his body too. I insisted we bring it with us for what we were about to do.

When we got back to Cailan, it was again Alistair who spoke. "Ugh – they left him here to rot! We need to… do something."

"He is of Royal Blood – he deserves a pyre. So does Duncan, a good commander." Aedan said softly. I had Sten pull Cailan down from the thing he had been stuck to.

When we got to a suitable clearing between Ostagar and Flemeths hut I used magic to build two pyres – one for each man.

I spoke as each man was placed on a pyre, "These men were brave – warriors who believed in what was right and good in the world. Both gave their lives for a better future. King Cailan is survived by his brother, Alistair – and though Duncan had no living family, he lives on in his recruits and all who met him."

Alistair, tears in his eyes, also delivered a small eulogy for both men, before looking to me. I set each pyre on fire and sang The Sound of Silence (The Pentatonix version rather than the original). And though this version was supposed to be A Capella, a magic speaker invention (obviously another of mine) made it possible for me to sing it now.

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains

Within the sound of silence

"That was… beautiful." Leliana whispered into the silence that followed. I shrugged, "It felt… right."

We headed off toward Morrigans' old home right after that.

"Alright, Morrigan, you wait here… everyone else, with me."

Morrigan nodded her assent, though everyone else – other than Alistair – was confused as to what we were doing. We approached Flemeths hut.

"Aneth Ara, Flemeth!" I smiled. She looked amused, "So… Morrigan, then?"

"You and I both know this isn't… personal. Besides, I know you won't be actually…" I saw grinning at her. She laughed, "Just as well, then. But why try to kill me at all if you know?"

"I promised Morrigan a staff made from your horns in return for a few lessons in shape-changing."

Flemeth laughed, "Very well – take them… if you can." And she shifted. I smirked and followed suit – taking the form a large ruby dragon that was only slightly bigger than her. Cinder cawed and flew above us as I battled the Witch.

When it was over, I cut the horns off the dragon head and made them into a staff – Sten looked interested in the process.

"No one tell Morrigan what exactly I said to Flemeth – after reading the Grimoire, she'll figure it out herself but for now… I am protecting Morrigan for now. Just know that." nods went around and we headed back.

I handed Morrigan the new staff and said, "Proof of death and Grimoire as promised. We good?"

She chuckled, "Thank you, my friend – we're good."

Next stop – Dalish Elves.